My heart raced and the palm of my hands pulled with sweat as I walked down the stairs of the Boys' Dormitories. The sound of my platformed loafers hitting the stone stairs echoed throughout the stone stairwell, mixing in with the sound of my fast and hard pounding heart.
I shouldn't feel this nervous about talking to Theo, but I think I'm just scared that I'm going to mess things up even more. He was right, I compromised his trust by letting Draco get too close to me. We can't rebuild something we once had if there's outliers interfering. It was my fault that Theo felt threatened, even thought I really didn't do anything wrong. It's not like I'm always holding the fact that he cheated on me with Ginny Weasley two years ago at a party. When it comes to trust, I should be the one who has an issue, not Theo. Either way, he's mad at me and I don't want him to think that I don't care by never apologizing to him. He's too important for me to just wait for things to "simmer down".
When I got to the door to his dorm room, I raised my fist and knocked on the door three times, waiting for Theo or one of the boys to get the door. I twirled my hair around my finger, still waiting at the door.
After waiting for almost a minute, I knocked on the door again, but no answer again. So naturally, I reached for the doorknob and opened the door to see if anyone was in the room.
What I saw behind the door was something so fucking disturbing I wished the Dark Lord was here to "Avada Kedavra" my ass. Theo was laying on his poster bed with Pansy on top of him, riding. I immediately covered my eyes with my hand and screamed.
"Ew!", I screamed. "I have my hands over my eyes and I still want to gouge them out with my fucking wand!"
"Like what you see?", Pansy moaned.
I quickly retracted myself from the dorm room and slammed the door shut. I walked back up the stairs to the common room, completely stunned at what I just saw. The only thing I'm thankful for is the fact that I didn't see anything I wasn't supposed to see, like Pansy's nasty boobs or fucking pussy. Thank fuck my reflexes are fast enough to cover my eyes once I saw her on top of Theo.
How am I always running into situations that involve Pansy fucking Parkinson? First Theo dated her for a brief moment and took her to my family's Snowflake Ball. Second, she tried to poison me with a love potion that made me fall in love with Ron Weasley. The, she got with Draco again and took part in polyjuicing herself as me and hooked up with Louis. Now, she's fucking Theo.
"What's wrong, Blackwood? You look like you've seen a ghost", Blaise laughed as approached the table he was sitting at with Draco, Alex, and Stass.
"I wish I had", I cringed, remembering what just happened less than two minutes ago.
I pulled out the chair in between Stass and Alex, sitting down slowly, trying to reevaluate this whole entire day.
"Well? Are you going to tell us what's up?", Alex asked.
"I just... I just..."
"Spit it out", Stass groaned.
"I just caught Pansy and Theo... shagging", I cringed, shivering at the thought of them together.
"I think I'm going to puke", she gagged, covering her mouth with both of her hands.
"Wow", breathed Blaise. "I was not expecting that"
"Yeah well, imagine how I feel. He just gave this whole speech earlier on trust and fucker is in his room shagging Pansy"
"Why do you care?", asked Draco. "If Theo wants to shag Parkinson, then let him. It's not you're dating him again"
Blaise, Alex, and Stass all looked at each other and then over at Draco. Damn, does everyone know about Theo and I trying to get back together?
"Oh... so you are dating him again", Draco continued.
"No, we're not. We were talking about it, but we're not back together"
"Do you think he's hooking up with Pansy again because of what you said the yesterday?", asked Alex.
"Probably", I sighed.
"What did you say to him?", Draco asked.
"I basically said that I was disappointed in him for not knowing me better. He asked Alex for help on planning our date and he brought me roses"
"How does he not know that you think roses are cliché?"
"That's what I said", Stass said rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.
"Theo also got mad at me earlier because he saw Draco and I talking and getting close again. I told him that nothing was going on and we're not exclusive to each other so it should never matter. I also said that if it were the other way around, I wouldn't be mad"
"And now he's fucking Pansy to prove a point"
"Exactly"
"See what happens when you get involved with them", Alex said posting his finger at me. "I told you to stay out of it and here we were, almost two years later, worried about one of them breaking you heart"
"I feel attacked", I mumbled.
"Good. You should. I warned you about this bullshit long ago"
"Go easy on her, Black", Draco chimed in. "Stella doesn't need you dogging on her right now"
"We wouldn't have all of this drama is she would've kept her promise to me", he scoffed.
"I'm sorry", I apologized, "but I can't control my emotions and who I fall in love with. It just happens"
Alex rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, leaning back into his seat.
I really can't help who I catch feelings for and who I don't. I get that my feelings have affected people within my friend group, but I can't control my feelings. Theo and I happened before our friend group was formed, so that's not really my fault but my relationship with Draco on the other hand, was. Again, if I had waited a couple months before dating or even hooking up with Draco, things we would be going differently.
"Well, well. The gang's all here", Theo said approaching the table and then pulling out a chair next to Blaise.
"How was Pansy?", Stass asked, glaring at him.
"She was great", he smiled.
"You're an ass, Theodore Nott", she scoffed, throwing a crumpled up piece of parchment at his head. "How are going to tell my best friend that you will do whatever it takes to win her back and then go and fuck the easiest girl since third year"
"But I-"
"Not only that", she continued, cutting Theo off, "you also gave my girl a whole complex on getting touchy with Draco when you're not even dating her. Even I know Stell hates roses"
Go off on his ass Stass!
"Damn", Blaise coughed.
"You know what? I'm not fucking finished. You decided to fuck Pansy as 'revenge' for whatever the fuck you thought was going on in Potions. Stella was about to go and apologize to you but NO you had to fuck Pansy and not even have the curtesy to lock the damn door"
Theo looked over at me and I just raised my brow, agreeing with every single thing Stass just said.
"Okay, fine. I'm sorry for being an ass", he sighed, apologizing to me.
"I'm just a little bothered that you brought up that whole trust thing earlier like you never cheated on me with a little blood traitor", I said, glaring.
"It was low of me and I'm sorry"
"Well, I hope you don't expect me to drop this whole situation after your sad ass apology. What you did was petty as fuck and after a year of pettiness with Draco, I don't care for more"
"I'm sorry. It was a one time thing, I promise"
At this point, I can't believe anything Theo says. He's such a fucking hypocrite for giving me shit for getting with Draco the day we broke up as if he never cheated on me at a party I didn't even attend. I can see where he's coming from when he got angry at me earlier for getting a little too friendly with Draco in class, but it doesn't mean that he should just fuck Pansy to prove a point. Draco and I didn't even kiss. Our hands touched and that's fucking it. It's not like I was giving him a hand job underneath the table.
"All I know is, I will never be able to trust you", I said getting up from my seat. "Giving you a second chance is way too nice of me. You cheated on me because you got bored of our relationship. How do I know you won't do it again?"
"I won't, I promise", Theo swore. "It won't ever happen again, Stell"
"I would've believed you this morning, but after what I just witnessed, I don't know if I could trust you", I said, basically mocking Theo for what he said earlier.
I left the table in the common room for my dorm room.
Clearly, the thought of getting back together with Theo is a mistake. He was doing so well before there was this pressure of us restarting and making our relationship better than it was before. Maybe I'm the issue. Both Draco and Theo were such good boyfriends until something happened and they both turn out as dicks. I think this is sign that I should stay away from dating anyone who's in my friend group and who goes to Hogwarts for that matter. Louis was the only good relationship that I was in where I didn't feel betrayed. Even though the whole time when i was with him I was thinking about Draco, it was still good.
Now that Draco and I are good terms, I don't think I will pursue getting back together with him because if Theo got jealous over me letting a guy touch my hand in class, I don't even know what Draco would do if something like that happens again with someone else. Draco's level of jealous makes Theo look like an angel. I think it's time I take my promise to Alex seriously and stop ruining my friendships with Draco and Theo.