nari
I was exhausted from studying for 4 hours and decided to grab some snacks.
I wore my peach cardigan and went to the nearest convenience store. As I entered, I remembered that one memory I had here.
Visiting this store makes me sick but it's the nearest store so I had no choice.
I went to the drinks section and grabbed a few banana milk bottles. I bought two ice cream cups and a sweet n sour jelly pack. I paid for all of it and went out of the store. I played with the paper bag, making soft noises as I walk home. I was looking down and suddenly, I bumped into someone.
"Nari?"
I looked up and saw the face that I never wanted to see, but was longing for it deeply in my heart.
"J-Jake..."
"Hey. I haven't heard from you for a while now."
"You don't need to know shit about a life you don't care about."
"But I do care about you. I mean, not as much as how I care for my girlfriend. You're a good friend."
"BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ONE."
Tears fell down fast from my eyes.
"Since the first day I interacted with you, I already liked you. And as days pass by, it grew until I actually loved you. I wanted to be that special girl in your life, the girl who makes you smile everyday cause goddamn I love that smile. I love all of you. I wanted all of it. But someone had to be in the way. I was just another no one."
Jake was standing in front of me, looking down while I ugly cry. Jake finally looked at me, with regret in his eyes. He walked closer to me.
"I'm sorry, Nari." He hugged me slowly.
"I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I'm sorry that my actions towards you brought a different meaning. I'm sorry that I didn't consider how you'd feel when I act like this and that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I had a girlfriend. I'm sorry for all the feelings you shouldn't be feeling right now..." he said all of these and I can feel how sorry he was for everything.
"But Nari...you will never be a no one to me. You're one of those people I want to share my shitty life problems to. You're such a good listener. You're a really good friend and I never wanted you to leave me because you're special. But because I caused you to hurt this way, ignore me all you want. Be mad at me. Just do anything you think I deserve, because I hurt you." Jake trembled and he let go of me after hugging me for a little while.
"You were a nice person, Nari. I will never forget you. But if my existence in your life causes you such despair, then I will erase myself from your life."
Before I could say something, Jake walked pass me, leaving me while I'm looking like a fool. All these days, I hated Jake for not giving me a warning that he'll break my heart. But he never had a single idea about it. And here I am, just complaining and crying and complaining and crying because I was hurt. It's always about me. Fuck it, I'm always about me.
And now, I lost Jake for good.
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yow, this chapter sad. i was crying my eyes out while I was making this because I was watching a sad anime as well lol.
neol saranghae~