Lily's P.O.V.
"Wake up you piece of shit" A voice growled whist I felt my covers being ripped off of me followed by a cold wind attacking my once warm and cozy body.
I shot right up rubbing my eyes too see the back of my Dad slamming my door shut. As on cue, A frown set on my face.
What a beautiful way to wake up.
I quickly jumped off my bed, pushing the negative thoughts to the side as I quickly placed my covers back onto my bed were they originally were before someone decided to rip them off me.
A sudden sadness dawned on me as I came to realize how much I'll miss having one of the boys waking me up politely in the morning.
I took a deep breath as I quickly splashed cold water onto my face, they left me, they are not here anymore. I need to stop thinking about them, because clearly, they're not thinking about me. If they couldn't be bothered to wait a few more minutes to say a proper goodbye to me, then I obviously mean nothing to them. And it's sad as I felt like they have cared.
And I never learn from that mistake.
I quickly brushed my teeth, put my hair into a braid, threw my school uniform and collapsed onto my bed.
I din't feel right without the boys, It felt lonely and there is no one bugging me. Ans I really need to stop thinking about them, it isn't helping me at all.
And I've done it again, I've grown to attached to them, I've talked to them, hung out, and I promised myself I wouldn't, because I knew they would leave, I just din't want to believe it.
And here I am again, tied up in the same old mess, making the same mistakes once again.
I mean, Were just going in circles, dizzy all it makes us and I know where is take us, I've been before. And Harry is only trying to get us to be closer, hes trying to find out what us wrong with me. But he won't find out what is, I'll make sure to keep away from him, I promise myself this, this time everything will be different.
It just I'm always the person that gets replaced. I'm just here for awhile and then I get thrown away.
I'm like a rapping paper, I'm good for the first few seconds, I'm good to make something look good, to hide whats inside of me. But as soon as they realize there is something better than me they rip me open into shreds, throw me away, and go get the better thing.
Because I'm just here to be the outer layer. The thing everyone uses, the thing everyone throws away eventually.
I'm like the paper delicate and thin, and once you rip me open, it's impossible to stick me back together.
I let out a long huff of breath, trying to ignore my aching heart. The way it beats every time, allowing blood to flow all over my body. The way it's beating, slow but in a consistent rhythm.
I just want it to stop all together. I don't care if I'm only 14, life is not worth living. Life is hell. Everyone here on Earth is Fed with lies, everyone is like, life is beautiful, its a gift, in reality it's not. I wish when I was growing up someone would of told me, told me the truth about life, told me that it's horrible and there is no point living it. Told me it's much better to be dead than alive.
Death will only make me happy. That's all I want that's all I need and I'm gonna succeed.
To think about it, the word death. Many peoples fear. Dying. But why? Why would you be scared of death? Because your scared you wont exist? You will. Your soul goes to live on, you live and you feel more alive than ever, you see everyone you knew whom have passed away, you reunite with them after so many long years, I can imagine every single one of you's leaping into that persons arms, holding onto him for dear life. Tears will flood your eyes as you observe your be-loved persons face and you come to realize it's exactly how you remember him. The pleasant feeling overwhelms your body as his arms wrap around you holding you tight in his arms, never letting go. You cry so much from happiness, because now you know, everyone down On Earth, every person you loved, you will see again, there's no need to worry, because you will wait, and you will wait here with your beloved family/friends, talking about everything that has happened to him and to you, catching up on everything you both have missed over the long days and nights, you will talk about your life, and you will smile because death is like another part of life, it's a new start, a new chapter.
And that's exacly what Im needing right now, a new start. A new life. I need it.
I quickly sighted throwing my bag over my shoulder, happy I maneged to pack it last night before I went to bed, I slowly decended down the stairs, holding my head down as I stood infront of the door, putting on my black plain school shoes I'm forced to wear whilst tying the lases into a somewhat neat bow.
I threw the door open and stepped out before anyone could notice I was gone.
After about 20 minutes of slow walking, I finally made it too school, really not bothered by anyone at the minute. All I know is that if someone starts on me today, they're going to get it. I do not care anymore, I feel different, enpowered, I feel as if something strong and new is growing inside of me, an odd but pleasent filling, something dark is over taking me, but I don't seem to mind, because all my mind is focused on is that I want people to fear me, I want people to suck in their breath sharply inbetween their teeth when they lay eyes on me. I want them to coward away, fearing their lifes.
I want to be feared.
This confidence washed over my body and I suddenly felt more relaxed, I threw my head up, watching people give me death glares, I immediatly saved those peoples names in my mind, smiling innocently towards them, but they din't know that that kind of smile should be avoided at all costs.
All I can say is revenge is going to be sweet. It's time to show those bitches what pain is, its time to put them in my place. But most of all it's time to get them back.
I walked to my locker, pulling out my science books, being startled as I hear a voice behind me.
"MA BITCH" I heard lily shout before swinging her little arms around me, I quickly hugged her back, smiling at her, letting out a little giggle.
"Sup whore" I replied casually. Me and Lily have really gotten close in the past few days, something between us instanctly clicked, and we just got along. She's like the other half of me, I only know her for a few days but I already love her to bits.
"A classy whore, thank you very much" She replied, smirking at me. I just laughed and shook my head, a classy whore? Who even says that?
"I do" she spoke as if she read my mind, she slammed my locker shut as she took ahold of my wrist dragging me off to science block, I just sighted, smiling and giggiling with her as we walked down the packed hallways.
***
"I'm all rumbly in my tumbly" Lily announced as we sat down at the caferina, at the table in the corner.
"Honestly I'm so fugging hungry I may aswell eat a horse, or two" she said smiling towards me, pitting a forkful of paata into her mouth.
"You not gonna eat anything?" She questioned once she swollowed the food down.
I shook my head "Having a really big breakfast fills you up for like a week" I said laughting, hoping she will stop the questioning.
She just laughed loudly "Alright, I see" she said sending me a wink, I just nodded my head.
"Awhh, look who we've got" A high pitched voice spoke up, I immediatly cringed whilst turning to the front of our table. As expected, Sophie the mothafucking big ass slut was stood right infront of us. I rolled my eyes, she was bathed in makeup, as always.
"We have the two freaks over here" She said pointing her horribly pointed fake nail at us, while her friends laughed, obviously too loudly and fake. I turned towards her narrowing my eyes, my blood pumping through my veins, my anger taking control of my body.
I threw my middle finger up at her. "Your the reason sweetie, God created this middle finger to show people like you what a total bitch you are" I said, annoyance clearly visible in my voice, Lily just let out a loud laugh beside me, covering her hand over her mouth, looking like she was gasping for air. I just smirked at her.
I then pretended to throw something in the far distance.
"What the hell you doing?" Sophie, I mean the slut asked me.
"Ohh, I just threw your stick so you can leave'' I said staring straight in her eyes, challenging her.
She huffed. "Are you calling me a dog?" She asked amusment in her voice.
I just stood up, hiding the un-screwed water bottle behind my back, slowly inching towards her, my smirk growing bigger and bigger.
"What the actual fuck-
I cut her off as I quickly tipped the water over her head, watching her get soaked from head to toe. I heard everyone gasp, which made me smile.
I watched as her perfectly straight hair started forming loose curls as little droolets of water dripped down onto her soaked skin. I looked proudly at her, she was drenched, and her jaw was nearly hitting the floor.
I quickly leaned in to her ear. "Dogs also need frequent baths" I said cockily while marching of out of the caferina, a proud smile dancing on my face.
"Oh my jesus Lil, you totally owned that bitch" Lily screetched jumping up and down like a little 5 year old being told he got a new toy.
"I LOVE YOUUUU SO DAM MUCH, OMG, YOU SHOULD OF SEEN HER FACE" She screamed a little too loudly while embracing me into a hug, I just smiled while laughting along with her, bobbing my head up and down.
"I love you too" I said back to her making her smile.
***
I was sat in geography, last lesson of the day, I sighted. No matter how hard I tried to ignore the pain of being left, it wouldn't go away.
I guess I just wanted someone to be afraid of loosing me, to be afraid of letting me go, but I guess that's too big of a wish.
No one wants me. No one loves me. No one cares. Everybody wants me dead. Myself included.
I sighted loudly, blocking out the voices of poeple in my class, I knew there were talking about me cause of what happened at dinner, everyone seemed to just talk about that, and to say it was irretating would be an understatement.
I quickly looked over to where Lily was sat, she was sat there clicking her pen on her table, looking as bored as I am.
I quickly devorted my eyes from her, sighting in the process. It nakes me feel bad because I'm keeling secrets away from her, she does not know I'm Harry Styles sister, that they were living with me, she also doesn't know what I go throught, I trust her though, but I know I never will really tell her about my Dad. It's a strong topic for me and I don't want her to be pressuring to talk to someone about it or go to the police.
I look up at the clock. We had 5 minuted to the bell, I need to leave.
I quickly stood up, practically running towards the front desk.
"Sir, please may I go to the bathroom" I spoke, my voice filled with hope.
"I'm sure you can wait we only have about 5 minutes to the bell" I bit my lip, If I don't get out early then Adam will come get me, and Im not really wanting that, never have never will.
I quickly shook my head as I bolted out the classroom, running down the cooridoors as I heard Mr. Langbourg shout my name, I just kept running, to keen to get outside.
I quickly bolted out the school doors, running as fast I can as I heard the school bell ring, realizing this place will soon be packed with people, I began pushing myself to run faster, feeling myself grow tired from my weak bones.
Once I made it to the road I usually walk on, I din't stop running, too scared that If I stop Adam will come find me and drag me there.
So I kept running, ignorimg the aching lain rising throughout my body.
***
I slowly threw my shoes off, breathing rapidly due to all the running I had just done. I sighted of relief as I shut the door behind me, the house was quiet and a smile already tugged at my lips, I love being home alone.
As I was putting on the dirty plate, to make it look like I have eaten something, I heard the house phone ring making me immediatly groan in annoyamce as I walked to pick it up.
"Hello" I said is a higher pitch than usual.
"Lily?" A voice asked making anger boil in my veins, I clentched the phone around my hand tightly, my breathing accelerating.
I knew exacly who that voice belong too, and he is the last person I want to talk to right now.
"What the hell you want Harry" I spat at him, disgust in my voice. I heard Harry sigh at the other end of the line.
"Lily, I'm so sorry, I-
"Save it styles"
"No lily listen-
-Harry, no you listen to me" I spoke sternly, he grew quiet at the other end of the line, so I began talking again.
"Don't you dare say sorry to me Harry, because I've heard it from you so many times. You say sorry everytime, but guess what, nothing changes, you do it every singal time Harry, you leave me alone and then wonder what is up with me. Stop acting like you care. Stop acting like someone who you arn't. I'm sick of your little games Harry, I'm so sick of you that geniually I want to throw up when someone even mentions your name" I said biting my lip.
"And one last thing Harry. Forget about me.
"You and I are done" I spoke into the phone as I hung up not giving him a chance to speak.
I threw the phone back in it's stand, fury raging inside my body.
I collapsed on the couch, holding my head up with my hands.
Why is this so complicated? Why did he even had to call? But I guess that has it's own plus side, he now knows I'm done with him, He has always said sorry, but he never meant any of it. But I guess I gave him too many chances, I'm sorry, but I gave up on him, I'd rather have a brother that's here for me then have a brother who is never here.
I let out a shaky breath as todays evets flooded my mind.
Well today was... interesting.
***
Hiii, sorry it took me a few days to update, but I've been having after school lessons till 5 and I had loads of homework + I had an art presentation.
I was quite busy I should say ahha, but its okay, Im alive, but I'm like falling asleep...
Anyways, I'll correct all the spelling mistakes tomorrow afterschool, cause like I said, I'm dead tired for unknown reason.
Anyways thankyou for everything my lovely readers, hope your all okay. If you want a chat message me, Im bored most of the time anyway:3:)
Hugs and Kisses baaaiiii
♡