The picnic in the forest was the best lunch of my life- not just since I had moved in with the Cullens. Koda was still holding the flowers that he had plucked near the swing, and twisted them into a crown that he placed on my head. Nessie was talking to me, laughing as she leaned so close to whisper into my ear that the warmth of her shoulder was pressed against mine. And Esme had even remembered to add blood to my food, making it delicious as it eased the burning in my throat.
Glancing at the people around me, I realized how much I had gained. Just a week earlier, the idea of being around other people was laughable. Vampires had terrified me and humans were so... human. And the wolves had been nothing but giant toys that I could trick into chasing me when I was bored.
But here I was, sitting between a werewolf and another vampire-hybrid child, smiling and laughing.
And we were in the forest! I hadn't truly realized how much I had missed it. It was something I had tried to force out of my mind, knowing that I wanted to stay with the Cullens and sure that I could not have both them and the forest.
As Esme began packing up the food and dishes, she promised me that we could try to come out and eat in the forest whenever I asked- as long as the weather was agreeable. And Jacob promised to take Nessie and I into the forest to play sometimes, adding on that Koda could join us when I asked. Takoda smiled widely at me.
"Alright, girls," Esme said, helping Renesmee and I to our feet. "I think it's about naptime".
Though I wanted to whine and complain until Esme let me get out of taking a nap, Takoda started talking before I could.
"Can I stay for naptime?" He asked, glancing between Esme and Carlisle.
They glanced at Jacob, who was shaking his head with a small smile. "I know what you're trying to do, Takoda," Jake said. "Emily is already upset that you took off on your own. Stalling won't help your case. Time to face the music, kid."
Koda sighed, biting his lower lip as he nodded. He stood slowly, shuffling over to sling an arm around me. "By, Ammie".
"Bye, Koda," I said. I hope you don't get into so much trouble that you don't get to come back. Please come back.
Carlisle started walking towards the house, and Esme came over to Nessie and I, putting a hand on each of our shoulders to guide us after him. Esme pulled Nessie onto her back, and glanced over at me. "You can cross the river on your own, Darling?"
I nodded.
"You're certain?"
I nodded again, easily clearing the river with one bound. Glancing at Esme's face to make sure she had seen, I smiled proudly and started skipping ahead before remembering that I was supposed to be trying to talk myself out of a nap.
I slowed down to allow Esme and Renesmee to catch up. Carlisle must have done the same, because even though our pace was slower, he was now just a few feet in front of us. It made me nervous- if he was listening in to the conversation, I would have to convince him to let me skip the nap, too. Trying to talk two people out of something had to be even harder than talking just Esme out of it.
"Esme?" I asked as she approached.
"Yes, Darling?" Esme reached out to grasp my hand in hers as we walked, and while there didn't seem to be a purpose to it, I still liked it.
It took me a few moments to figure out exactly what I wanted to ask. "Can I not take a nap, please? I promise I don't need one. When I was by myself, I didn't even sleep every night. I would just stay up until I had to sleep. So I probably don't need a nap."
My argument seemed sound to me, but Esme shook her head gently before I even finished. "No, Camellia. You and Renesmee will both be cleaning up and taking a nap when we get home".
But that wasn't fair! She hadn't even considered what I had said. "But why?"
Esme's hand tightened around mine, serving as a warning as my voice took on a whining tone.
"Vampire-human hybrids tend to require more sleep," Carlisle interjected. I glanced at him as he came to walk on the other side of me. "Your brain was made to develop incredibly rapidly, so until your growth stops, you need quite a bit of extra sleep. Or, in your case, your body halted in the middle of your brain's rapid development, so you permanently require more sleep than a human. The fact that you ignored this need while on your own does not make it any more healthy, nor mean that you require less sleep now. Renesmee will eventually outgrow needing naps, when her body reaches full maturity and her brain reaches the final levels of development."
Though I knew that Renesmee was still growing while I wasn't, the reminder that she would one day be an adult while I was still a child was depressing.
The idea that I would need an afternoon nap for the rest of eternity was even more depressing.
I sighed, looking down at the grass and flowers as we walked. At least I was immortal, even if my immortal life would be filled with naps and baths. I could always come outside and look at the grass and trees and flowers. I would always want to play. And besides, Takoda would remain at about the same age he was now, he had said. That thought made me smile. At least I would have him- he would never outgrow me.
"Camellia, I need to speak to you, Love," Carlisle said, stopping halfway through the field that led back to the house. Esme nodded at me, letting go of my hand and walking further ahead with Renesmee.
Carlisle waited until they were a little ways ahead before he started speaking. "Are you alright now?" He asked me. I smiled up at him, nodding as we started walking again. Somehow, they had made me feel better.
Except for the part where Edward could read my mind. That was still annoying. But at least I could avoid him. Most of my time was spent with Carlisle, Esme and Nessie, anyway.
Carlisle looked at me, seeming to be judging if my answer was honest or not. Satisfied that I was telling the truth, he smiled back at me, resting a hand on my shoulder as we walked.
"I'm glad to hear it," he told me. "And what Esme said was true- we will do our best to allow you time in the forest with us. But no more running off on your own."
I glanced up at him as his voice dropped slightly in warning. He was looking at me, his expression serious now.
"If you feel the need to get out, come to any adult in the house and let us know. We can take you for a walk or plan a picnic in the forest. The same goes for when you are upset- you need to come and let us know instead of running off. I understand that you were quite distressed when the issue occurred today, but it cannot happen again. The next time you wander into the forest alone, there will be consequences, I'm afraid. Consider this your warning, Camellia." His hand squeezed my shoulder gently as he finished.
Though I had known it was coming, and though I was happy to be able to tell them when I needed to get out, it still felt silly. "But Carlisle," I whined, immediately switching my tone to a less petulant tone when I saw the look he was giving me. "I grew up in the forest, all by myself. Why can't I go alone?"
"We're quite popular in the vampire world," He explained, pulling me against his side. "We're a large coven, which already intrigues some passing vampires to come closer. And we also happen to be vegetarians, and have a vampire-human child in the house, adding to the interest. While most vampires are aware of Renesmee, they have not met you. And despite the fact that you have quite a lot of vampire characteristics, you do still have blood flowing through you. It would not be wise for you to wander the nearby forest alone while other of our kind may happen through."
I frowned at his words, but he wasn't done. "And," he tacked on, "The wolves are just down the way. Vampires nearby are what instigates their shifting. What happens if a new wolf shifts, and you are close by, all alone? That new wolf will not be aware of the treaty between the pack and ourselves, but will still likely instinctively react to sensing that you are part vampire."
Sighing, I looked back at the forest as we finally made it to the porch of the house. Carlisle opened the door and helped me to take off my jacket and hat.
"No going out alone," he reiterated gently as he hung my jacket up near the door. "Go on up to the bathroom and wash up, now. Renesmee should already be there."
Right. Naptime.
I slowly made my way up the stairs, trying to drag this out as long as I could. Edward was going down the stairs, though, and my face flamed when I remembered he could read my mind. Not only had he heard every awful thought I'd had since I had arrived, but he could also hear my mental protests about napping and my attempts to stall. He stopped as he passed by me, presumably to say something, but I rushed up the stairs and into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
Nessie was at the sink, brushing her teeth. She looked at me in the mirror, and though she couldn't speak with her mouth full of bubbles, I could see by her expression that she was wondering why I was in such a rush. I just shook my head, coming to stand next to her at the sink.
Once again, I had to stick to warm water as I brushed my teeth. Carlisle had gotten children's berry flavored toothpaste for me, but he was adamant that I needed to brush my gums with just warm water for the time being. He promised that I could use toothpaste soon, though.
Nessie told me that we needed to wash our hands and faces, and that naptime didn't mean taking a full bath, like at bedtime. Somehow, she didn't seem to care that we were being forced to get into bed, in the middle of the day, while everyone else laughed and talked downstairs. She didn't find this even a little bit degrading?
Maybe if I knew taking naps was just temporary and that I would one day outgrow them, like Nessie did, I wouldn't be upset, either.
Still, I followed Renesmee as she made her way back to our bedroom. Carlisle and Esme were both waiting for us, and Bella was hovering in the hallway outside of the bedroom. I wondered if they usually all came to wish Nessie a good nap, or if this gathering was so there would be backup if I made a big deal about taking a nap.
I was leaning towards the latter. It wasn't too far-fetched, after all. If I didn't know that I would immediately be restrained and in trouble, I may have tried to run and hide until naptime had passed.
Nessie immediately began undressing, not seeming to care that the bedroom door was open. It wasn't until Esme decided I needed help and reached to lift my dress over my head that I took a step back, glancing at the door nervously.
Bella and Esme saw me undressed pretty often at bathtime and bedtime. And Carlisle had given me my checkup and was a doctor. But what about Emmett and Jasper, or what if a rogue wolf had stayed behind when the pack left? What if they saw me?
Esme followed my eyes and smiled a little when she noticed what was upsetting me. "Bella, can you close the door, please?"
As Bella stepped into the room and moved to close the door, Esme looked back at me. "You don't need to worry about that, Honey. The family all knows you're up here getting dressed, so they will likely stay downstairs. But even if they do need to come up here, I promise they don't care about a little girl getting getting into pajamas."
My pride bristled at, once again, being referred to as a little girl.
I felt a little more comfortable as the door shut, but so many people in the room still felt awkward. Even if they had all seen me undressed at some point, anyway. Still, I raised my arms and allowed Esme to lift my dress above my head. I waited nervously for her to hand me a nightgown, wishing she would move faster. When she turned away to fold my dress, I moved to grab the nightclothes myself.
"Darling, pay attention, please," Esme said, grabbing my shoulder to stop me from moving away. Folding my arms across my chest, I glared as I watched Renesmsee pull her own nightgown on. Why did she get to go first all the time? It wasn't fair.
Esme didn't notice the injustice of it all. She made sure I was paying attention, and then pointedly laid my dress across the back of the chair next to my bed. "Your clothes get folded and hung over the chair when you lay down for your nap," She told me. "Because you will be putting them back on after you wake up. It helps keep them clean and unwrinkled, and there is no reason to change your clothes after lunch, unless there is a special occasion. Do you understand?"
I nodded, glancing at the white nightgown on the bed impatiently.
"So what do you do with your clothes before you get into bed for a nap?" Esme persisted gently. I sighed, feeling my irritation grow. We had just been over this. Couldn't I get dressed already?
Carlisle moved slightly towards me, and worried I was about to get smacked for my attitude towards his wife, I immediately changed my tone. "Over the chair, ma'am," I rushed to say. "And also folded. Nicely. So it doesn't wrinkle."
She smiled at me, finally picking up the nightgown and pulling it over my head. Quickly, I realized that being covered didn't make me feel more comfortable, like I thought. Maybe it was being undressed to take a nap specifically that was bothering me, and not being undressed itself. I felt incredibly childish as Esme guided me towards the bed.
It wasn't fair! I didn't want a nap!
Esme moved to pull the ribbons from my hair, brushing through my curls with her fingers. It felt strangely comforting, even though I knew it couldn't be as efficient as using a brush. She pulled out a stray flower that I had missed when removing the flower crown Koda had made for me. Despite myself, I smiled as she tucked it into the hair of the doll that was sitting on the table beside my bed.
Why did she have to make it so hard to stay angry at her?
Esme stood and made her way to stand beside Bella as they made sure Nessie was tucked in. I turned to watch, but felt something fall out of my bed from under the blankets. Leaning over the edge of the bed, I saw Carlisle already there, picking my stuffed lamb off the floor.
"Cuddles!" As soon as the word passed through my mouth, I wished I could snatch it back. That was supposed to be a secret! It was such a childish thing, to name a stuffed toy, and the name itself was a silly one. My entire plan to convince the Cullens that I was mature was slowly moving further and further from my reach.
Falling back on to the bed, I covered my face with my hands, trying to fight off the embarrassment. Carlisle's hand was suddenly on my arm though, pulling my hands away as he smiled at me and placed Cuddles in my arms.
"That's a very nice name for your lamb," he complimented, and I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes. There was no way he actually thought that. I almost wanted to put the blame on Takoda, but it would have felt mean, especially in front of Renesmee. They already seemed to have a weird friendship where they teased each other all the time. I didn't want to bring up that he had been the one to come up with the name Cuddles, or that he had a stuffed dinosaur named Nugget.
It wasn't her business.
Instead, I settle on looking away and mumbling a quiet 'thank you'. My eyes stayed down as Esme brushed a hand over my forehead, and as Bella turned off the light and closed the bedroom door. Someone had drawn the curtains, too, so the room was almost as dark as it was at nighttime. If I looked directly at the window, though, I could see little glimmers of light attempting to create a low glow around the curtains.
Renesmee rolled over, looking at me. "Did you ever take naps when you were in the forest?"
I shook my head. Most often, I had been really tired, but refused to sleep. Sleep was boring. Instead, I would run around and climb and swim until I was on the brink of passing out, then climb a tree and fall asleep on one of the branches.
Nessie went quiet, probably feeling bad that I had acquired both a naptime and a bedtime since breaking into her house. It wasn't her fault though. Besides, this just gave us extra time to talk.
"Why do you think Carlisle didn't get mad at me for going into the woods alone? And he only smacked me a few times for... that thing- With the blocks. But aren't both of those worse than what I did at dinner, when I talked back and didn't want to eat?"
She turned on to her back, looking at the ceiling as she thought. "Well..." she hesitated. "At dinner that was like... intentional disobedience. You knew the rules and you had been warned and asked to eat. You were rude by not eating what Esme made, and you disobeyed two adults who told you to eat. Plus eating what's on the plate is a rule to begin with. And you knew all that. And decided not to".
Even though all of that was in the past, and I had already been punished, a strange sense of embarrassment overcame me. It was a feeing I had only experienced since arriving at the Cullens- feeling like there was shame behind misbehaving, knowing I should have done better.
Nessie kept going, struggling to explain. "But with the blocks, that wasn't... super intentional. It was really, really naughty though," she rushed to clarify. "If you did it again he would.... well... just don't do it again. But it wasn't something you sat there and thought about and chose to do to break rules. And running into the forest is the same way. It wasn't a good thing to do, and if you do it again he'll definitely punish you pretty bad. But it wasn't like you did it to break rules on purpose. Does that make sense?"
I nodded, but was worried. If I panicked, would I be able to stop myself from relying on my instinct, and running for the forest? How bad was a pretty bad punishment? And how would I know which rules I would be punished for and which I would just get a warning for?
Maybe the only real way to win here was to go out of my way to not break any rules, no matter what I thought the outcome may be.
"The running away thing is a big deal, though," she told me. "I've never lunged at Grandpa, and honestly I was sort of expecting him to really lay into you. I'm glad he didn't though, especially in front of Koda. You have a crush on him, right? That would have embarrassed you a bunch, even though Koda would have felt even worse, since he thought it was his fault."
My face burned and I mumbled some kind of agreement as Nessie rambled.
"But I do get why Grandpa didn't punish you too bad for that. Never run off into the forest by yourself again, though. They get really worked up about that. You know that day that I crossed the river to meet with you? I got into so, so much trouble when Grandpa caught me. He made me go and get the- well... it was just bad. Oh, also, you know that naps mean they're trying to 'regulate our schedules' or whatever? It means we have to start lessons again soon. You'll hate them, they're so-"
The door opened, causing me to jump as light spilled in from the hallway. How had I let myself get so wrapped up in the conversation that I had missed the approaching footsteps, even if they were near silent?
"Girls," Bella's voice was firm as Nessie fell quiet. "It is time to stop talking and take your naps. I'm sure you don't want bedtime to be an hour earlier tonight to make up for the sleep you're missing out on now, do you?"
Being sent to bed at 7 sounded awful. The sun wouldn't even be beginning to set yet.
I quickly shook my head and Renesmee muttered, "No, Mama." Bella's eyes fell on me, and I wondered if she expected verbal answers, just like Carlisle. Nessie had told me that by not listening to Edward when he told me to eat, I had disobeyed an adult in the house. So that made Bella an official adult, too.
Nessie had also mentioned that all of the adults in the house had the authority to punish her. And me, too.
"No, ma'am," I finally whispered. It felt weird, not natural like when I responded to Esme similarly. But it was enough to get Bella to close the door again.
I sighed and turned over in bed, facing away from Renesmee to try and get rid of the distraction. But, just like before, I couldn't get comfortable in my bed. Why was it so soft? Branches were way easier to sleep on. They were out in the open, and high up so you could see everything, and sometimes you could even find the perfect branch- one that seemed to fit the exact shape of your body.
Silently, I climbed out of bed, briefly glancing out the window before tapping on Nessie's shoulder. She opened her eyes, already on the verge of sleep and sighed, rolling over so I could lay next to her. Somehow, knowing she was beside me helped me feel better.
It didn't take long for me to fall asleep. But that didn't mean I needed naps.