After taking a shower long enough to leave her skin a flaming shade of pink and much drier than before she got in, she actually did what she said her excuse was. Her body felt tired and her brain seemed to be completely drained. The only rational thing seemed to be a nap as an attempt to forget everything she had remembered so abruptly.
The nap lasted until the minute they had to leave, which was later than usual because they had peaked into her room after she didn't respond to their knocking and they saw that she was still sleeping. Collectively they decided that being a few minutes late wouldn't hurt.
When the time came to finally wake her up, none of them really knew how they should do so. In the end, Michael grabbed the bible from the hotel nightstand and threw it to the floor. The crash was loud enough to startle her out of her sleep.
"Fuck," she mumbled as soon as she opened her eyes to see Michael standing beside the bed, hands hovering as if he still held the book. "Sorry. What time is it?"
"Time to go, but we aren't late," he assured her, grabbing the book from the ground and placing it back where he had found it.
She rubbed her sore, tired eyes and pushed herself off the bed to meet with the others, who stood still just outside her door to wait. She pulled on her Converse and didn't bother to check if she had the time to change out of her makeshift pyjamas. Which were grey sweatpants and a loose tank top.
They quietly went down to catch the car, and Delaney silently climbed into the backseat, focusing only on her lap or her fingers that worked to rid her skin of any hangnails or dead skin. Purposefully doing so to avoid joining their conversations or make any sort of eye contact with Luke, who she was sure was a little concerned, or had at least noticed she was off.
And he was concerned. He kept making glances towards her, just to get any reassurance that she was alright but to no prevail. He hadn't managed to catch her lift her head at all once she was settled in that position.
During the soundcheck, she sat alone in the audience as she always did. But she even refused to look at them from a distance, she instead admired the sky in from the open arena. She scanned the few members of the crowd who had been lucky enough to secure soundcheck tickets along with the actual show.
After accidentally reminding herself of what they were capable of, she found it hard to see them as performers at that moment. She didn't want to see a crowd filled with people praising them and even worshiping them as if they were some sort of angels.
At some point, it would get old. She knew she'd be laughing again with them in a matter of time. She had made a promise to Calum that they'd get drunk every single night. Which still sounded pretty good to her. But soon she'd be back to thinking of them as close to normal people, just like everyone else did. If you'd consider the band 'normal people'.
After the concert had come to an end, she was more than ready to ignore her feelings about them for the time it took her to get back to whatever dressing room they chose today.
Once they had all stepped into Michael's room, Delaney searched the room until she made eye contact with Calum, pointing to him in hopes that he'd remember their earlier conversation. He pointed back with a wide grin, seeming to understand right away.
"Luke, you better not hate me for last night because we're going for night two!" He shouted gleefully, reaching for a short and fat bottle of some clear drink.
"What?" Luke laughed, his accent coming through the single word as Calum handed the bottle to Delaney, grabbing a few individual shot glasses for them to use, taking the bottle back from her so he could pour them each.
"We're gettin' fucked, Luke," she said matter of factly, taking one for herself and holding another out for Calum while he put away the bottle. Ashton, Michael and Calum couldn't help but laugh before they took the shots, liquid burning just the same as it always had but without the same annoyance it used to bring her. She was getting more and more used to it.
She barely gave herself time to scrunch her face at the sensation before grabbing a second. Once Calum saw her diving in for a second, he did the same. And within seconds they were two shots in and ready to keep going.
There was one left after the two of them stopped to breathe, and Michael took the remaining for himself, also remembering the conversation that took place on the bus and entirely on board with the idea.
With that mindset, they spent quite a while there and as Delaney predicted, her previous feelings seemed to melt away the longer they were there and the more she drank. She and Calum stayed steady with their pace and ended up with two more shots through the few hours they spent there. Michael had stopped with one more, and Luke and Ashton each only took one and stuck with beers for the rest of the night.
They didn't decide to leave until an employee of the venue came into the room, expecting it to be empty and was clearly annoyed that she wasn't able to clean it. Ashton apologized for them being in there, and they got out as quick as they could with protests from Calum who was just having too much fun to stop now.
As they turned through the confusing hallways, Delaney agreed with him, stumbling next to him until they met the fresh outside air and she paused in front of the car to take a deep inhale of the refreshing oxygen, as if she had been suffocating until that exact moment. "Lane?" Luke called her back to the moment, ready to get into the car with all the others.
"It's so nice out," she said, unbothered as she looked up to the sky, admiring the stars as they all blurred together above her.
"Come on," he let out a laugh, almost wanting to let her stay out there and cherish the stars that beamed down onto her skin with the slightest glow. "It's nice in here, too."
She nodded, sighing as she followed his words and got into the car. She was sat in between Calum on her left and Luke on her right, peacefully swaying as the car began to move. After a few seconds of the motion and she leaned over Luke, pressing down on the button until the window slid fully down and the wind had a passage into the car hitting Luke directly and trickled back to Ashton behind him.
"Liar," she mumbled to Luke after she realized that it was not particularly nice in the car like he said, undoing her seatbelt and maneuvering herself in the short car, almost standing over Luke to fit as much of herself out the window as she could.
"Jesus," he mumbled as she nearly got her hips out of the window before he stopped her, looking around to the others, who seemed not to care about the touch because they were too amused in watching the wind catch in her hair and the pure joy she found in the simple act.
Before too long, Calum took the idea and leaned out the window on his side, laughing and shouting in the pure glory of feeling the wind against his skin with the passing scenery.
The driver didn't tell them off, but did slow down and shoot constant backwards glances to make sure they were okay. He was taking mostly empty roads anyway, so there wasn't much for them to hit if they stuck out too far.
Delaney settled with a knee dropped down to the seat just beside Luke's leg, forearms comfortably perched on the edge of the window, safe enough now that Luke didn't have to keep his hands on her, but he did. He dropped his hand down to the leg closest to him and raked his fingertips gently across. It was low enough that no one would notice, maybe not even Delaney in her state.
But he was catching more onto the idea that not everything was alright and wanted to send the soft reminder that he was there in the small way he was able to at that very moment.
After long enough of the refresher, she pulled herself back into the car, feeling slightly sobered up as she re-bucked herself into the middle seat, bobbing her head slowly back and forth with the radio playing until they got back to the hotel.
As they got to their floor, Delaney immediately went to her door, leaning against it with her hands folded behind her back as she watched Michael drop his card a total of three times before Ashton could stop laughing at him enough to help him.
Calum tried to unlock the wrong door for two full minutes, refusing to let Luke help until a person they didn't know from the crew opened the door from the inside, and he just backed away with wide eyes, shoving the card into Luke's hand as if the stranger hadn't seen him at all.
He came to Delaney's door, laughing with her and Ashton as Luke said a quick apology to the poor woman who clearly just wanted to sleep at the late hour.
Once the door had shut again, Luke rolled his eyes and unlocked the proper door for him, holding it open for him as Ashton went into his own room, still laughing at the situation. Calum waved goodbye as he went into his room.
Luke shook his head and patted himself down, feeling for Delaney's key. Which he then remembered must still be with Michael. "Michael has my key, doesn't he?" She asked at his expression, earning a nod.
"I'll get it later, do you want to come in here for a bit?" He pointed to his own door, pulling out the key that he at least had for himself. She followed him to the door, leaning her head against his shoulder without answering because she wasn't really sure if she wanted to. Now that she had drunk as much as she did, the feelings she didn't want him or anyone else to see weren't nearly as present in her mind. But, it wasn't a guarantee that they'd stay bottled up like that.
But he managed to get the door open and placed a hand on the small of her back to make sure she was able to get into the room, even if she needed his help to do it. She would've been able to do it on her own, but greatly appreciated the warm guidance of his hand.
Once the door had shut behind him, she leaned against him again, placing the top of her head on his chest, earning a small laugh from him as he brought his hand up to her back again, drawing steady lines against her spine, leaving a lingering tickle as he moved. "How're you doing?" He asked softly.
She let out a quick groan before bringing her hands to rest on his chest so she could look up at him to answer. "I'm tired."
He believed well enough that she was tired, but he was still sure that there was something more going on. "Yeah?" He responded quietly. She nodded slowly as he lightly used his fingers to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. "Anything else?"
"Hmm," she hummed, launching back into the thoughts she tried so hard to forget. She clasped her hands together staring at them now instead of Luke, who took his lip ring beneath his teeth while he waited for her to answer. If she did want to bring up Adrien, wouldn't now be the time? She was still a little drunk and he was asking. "Yeah. I saw something today."
"What'd you see today?" He asked calmly.
"You're not gonna like it.." She said in a sing-song tone, preparing herself to say it more than anything.
"No? Why not?" He asked as she pulled away from him, choosing instead to sit down on the edge of his bed and facing the wall, not him.
"Because I'm pretty sure I saw Adrien again. Here. In Cleveland."
She didn't even look up from the fixated spot she'd picked out on the wall when all that followed her confession was silence. Then long after, a sigh. "Where?"
"Outside the bus when you were sleeping."
"Is that why you were off today?"
"Yeah," she lied, but not entirely. That was what started her spiral earlier that day.
"Were you looking for him?"
She scrunched her face in confusion at the bold question. She finally looked up at him to confirm that it was a serious inquiry. "No. Why would I be looking for him?"
"You were looking for him," he ignored her. "When I did get off the bus, you were looking around for him."
As he spoke, she couldn't quite piece together why he was accusing her of trying to incriminate Adrien for no reason other than a distant memory when she was simply observing. "Because I was confused why this guy had for some fucking reason been in Toronto and Cleveland at the same time us as when he's Australian."
"Lane, plenty of people move to Toronto it's not—" he said, running a hand through his hair as he spoke before cutting himself off with a sigh.
"What are you getting at Luke? I was just telling you what I saw so why are you acting like I said something so horrible?" Her voice rose unintentionally through the sentence, perhaps because of the influence she was under, or maybe because of Luke's accusatory tone.
"Because you're acting like I'm lying about him and like you don't trust me or any of us," he finally confessed, which gave away where the anger came from on his part.
"As much as I want to, why should I?" She blurted out, realizing immediately that she shouldn't have. But, really, why should she? Luke scoffed at the statement in almost disbelief, turning away from her. "That's not what this is about Luke, I'm sorry," she sighed, trying her best to backtrack now that she realized what she said.
"No, you're right," he sighed too. Still not looking back to her. "It's not your fault. I can't blame you for not trusting the people that kidnapped you," he knew what he was saying was true, but she could hear the strain in his tone as he said it. Like he believed it but wished that he didn't.
She wanted to apologize again, seeing the way his face seemed to have dropped while he was looking away from her, the corner of his mouth tugged down the slightest bit, his brows lower than usual. "That wasn't it," she said, swallowing her nerves and trying to get them off the topic. "I mean, that's not entirely why I was upset today." His interest piqued at the statement before she continued. "Have I tell you about my friend Willow?"
"I met Willow."
"Oh, yeah." She nodded, remembering the meeting that seemed so distant now that he brought it up. "I forgot about that...She's my best friend at home."
"Yeah, you wanted her to come to the concert," he engaged, sitting down on the edge of the table, facing the door while Delaney faced him.
"Right," she nodded, surprised that he remembered those encounters when she barely did. "We've been friends with each other since I was I think thirteen and we went through kind of a lot together. Not a lot, but for teenage girls it was a lot," she said, ending it off with a small laugh. She wondered if she should stop since he looked like he couldn't care less. But she didn't, because she didn't know what else to do. "I haven't been able to reach her since I tried to get her to come to the concert. I don't know what happened, or if I did something or..." she trailed off, her voice becoming weak.
Only then did he turn back to face her, now that she had dropped her head down to her lap, the feeling rising once again in her chest. She should've just stopped talking.
She squeezed her eyes shut, silently wishing away the tears, absolutely refusing to cry for a second time that day, let alone in front of someone else. While her eyes were closed, Luke had apparently got up from his spot on the couch to approach her.
He didn't say anything, but sat close beside her, snaking his arm around her waist. For a second she tensed, confused by the sudden touch after his silence, but after the shortest second, he felt her practically melt against him, leaning her head on his shoulder, the rest of her body joining against his.
Neither of them felt the need to say anything more as he placed his head atop of hers and trailed his fingers up and down, sending the constant reminder that he was there.
They sat there for a long time, but it was what they needed, to comfort each other with nothing more than their presence. "How about you just stay here tonight, Lane? They won't even notice."
She nodded, not needing even the slightest bit more convincing because she really didn't care to leave his side just yet. Instead, she grabbed his hand from her side and took it in hers, bringing it up to her lips and planting a small kiss.
"You okay?" He asked quietly, turning to face her as much as he could without disturbing her positioning.
"I'm okay." She nodded again.
"Do you wanna go to sleep now?"
"Very much, yeah."
"Okay, I'm gonna shower and change and I'll be right back in. Do you need something else to wear to bed?" He stood slowly as he spoke, swinging his arm over her head so their hands stayed connected.
"It's okay, this is comfy," she politely declined with a small smile to assure him she was good with what she had. He nodded and squeezed her hand in his once before letting it go. He disappeared around the corner and left her alone in the room.
She took the time to look around and notice the differences from her room. After the game of Mario Kart, he must've settled into the room. There was an open box of his cigarettes on the nightstand and his bag neatly placed against the wall. Doesn't he kind of need that to change?
From a glance, she realized that the bathroom was open and empty. For a second she wondered where he went until he appeared again from the hallway with her room card, which made sense. He set it down next to his on one of the nightstands, so she assumed that was the side he chose to sleep on. Then he did grab his bag and took it with him into the bathroom, but left the keys.
It was weird, she thought, how trusting he was to leave the room keys out where she could get them. After all, there was a reason someone had to unlock her door for her every single time she wanted in. Because she couldn't be trusted with the key.
Perhaps he had just forgotten that he couldn't leave them out, but either way, she approached his side of the bed, hovering her fingers only inches from them as she thought about her escape.
But she dropped her hands to her side, shaking her head. She didn't want to leave. Not just yet.
Instead, she slipped off her shoes and placed them carefully against the wall by the door before crawling into the side of the bed she hoped Luke didn't want, based on where he set the cards and upon further observation, had a phone charger.
The sound of the running water in the shower so close to where she laid was such a comforting sound as she sank into the soft mattress and settled beneath the cool sheets that enveloped her body. A part of her wanted to talk to Luke when he came back, to wait for him before she started to fall asleep. Another knew there was nothing for them to talk about right now, and the last part of her was already half asleep.
She was in the process of falling asleep when the water shut off about ten minutes after it had started, taking only a few more for him to change before he opened the door again.
His bag barely made a sound as he set it on the ground, not wanting to risk waking her up or even disturbing her if she hadn't fallen asleep yet. For the same reason, he lifted the bedding ever so gently, opening it by a sliver to climb in next to her.
As close to falling asleep as she was, she was awake enough to feel his arm settle across her stomach, and feel his warmth against her back, and the lightest kiss on her exposed shoulder before he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, careful to make sure that his wet hair didn't touch her bare skin.
And she fell right asleep in his arms.
i updated again and i'm in lockdown again so i'll have more time to write when i actually feel like it haha hope this was alright no one seemed to like the last one so