TW: hard drug use.
south carolina
june 1990
***
HARRY
//
"What time is it?" I ask
"Almost eight," Niall answers from next to me.
We're backstage, setting up equipment. The loud chatter from the crowd behind the curtain sounds, followed by heavy music and a thumping bass.
We're playing our biggest show yet tonight, over one thousand people. My head spins because of the lines I took in the bathroom five minutes ago. My side aches and head throbs but the drugs numb me like nothing else can.
I take a drag from the cigarette that's hanging from my mouth, fumbling with the cords of the strings on the white guitar. My hands wrap around the front microphone and I have to focus on keeping them from visibly shaking.
"Are you sure you're good to go on?" Louis then asks "your rib cage-"
"Don't be so soft, Tomlinson." I smirk at him as he rolls his eyes going back to hooking up cords to his guitar.
"Whatever, just don't be a dumbass out there. I'm not stitching you up again." he lies because he will if he has to.
"Where the hell is Li?" Zayn comes out from the curtain, drumsticks in hand. "she was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago, we go on in five." he looks out from the curtain.
I look up at him through ray bands, even inside the lights are too bright. Niall speaks up. "Can you stop bitching about your girlfriend for two fucking seconds and help set up?" his voice is clipped as he glares at our band mate.
Zayn flips him off but continues to help set up, and two minutes before we go on my eyes catch pink tips and her best friend's strawberry blonde in the crowd. The two push through the crowds of people, determined to get to the front row because it's their promise to us every show.
The curtains open and I hear the crowd cheer. I'm too far gone to remember most of it but I do know that I didn't listen to Louis about taking it easy, because my stitches are ripped open by the end of it.
The crowd of girls surround me in the parking lot, their voices give me a headache as my shirt stains red from bleeding through ripped stitches. Niall is eating their attention up, and I don't have the patience to do the same, so I break free from them and walk over to the familiar four instead.
"I don't wanna go to some lame ass house party," I hear Louis, he lights up a cigarette as they all stand by Zayn's car. "We gotta go big tonight."
Strawberry blonde stands close by her best friend, always looking a little on the outside in a group like ours. It seemed such a waste, and I wondered why she hung around such a place.
Arm around his girlfriend, Zayn scoffs a laugh as I take the cigarette out from behind my ear, and Louis hands me his lighter. "Go big in this town?" he shakes his head.
"We should get the fuck outta here," Niall comes up from behind me throwing an arm around my shoulder, he takes the lit cigarette from my mouth taking a drag.
I cross my arms, my body numb. "Any ideas?" he then asks.
A thought comes to my head and I know it's crazy, maybe even stupid but I wasn't in my right mind anyways. I take the cigarette back from Niall, flicking ash. "I got a few, but you're gonna have to be a bit open minded." I speak up.
My band of three is nothing if not open minded, and wherever we go, Zayn's girl and her best friend are never too far. So we packed up Zayn's car for a three hour journey, far away from the boring town.
***
Red strobes and the bass of the music hit every corner of the high ceiling club and I forgot how many memories I have here. To drown them out I take the blunt from Louis and down the whiskey bottle until it's empty.
Sat in VIP because I have connections no one asks questions about, my group surrounds me, chaos surrounds me. Anxiety picks up because I remind myself of where we are and what happens here. But it was a weekend and they were never here on weekends. I try to relax.
Niall's laughing, Louis is shouting, the in love couple is making out and her laugh seems to be calming my rapid heartbeat from too much drugs and drinks out of the whiskey bottle. She downs drinks to keep up, but she'll never be able to keep up with these guys who don't have a limit.
"You want in on this?" Niall asks as he cuts a rail for himself on the small table in front of us.
The air is foggy, marijuana mixed with tobacco and booze and sweat and sex. It fills my nostrils and I have to push down the wave of nausea. I'm already messed up, I've been messed up for a while, but it's hard not to be in a place like this.
A place made for sin and fucked up people, it was a fucked up place and I was regretting bringing them here. Why did I bring her here? What the fuck was I thinking? Oh yeah, I wasn't thinking.
"I need a fucking drink," I stand up as Li drags her girl to go dance when her boyfriend refuses.
I leave the group behind when Niall and Louis decide to go with the girls, Zayn stays behind in VIP and my head is empty when I order another round of whiskey.
I downed another shot, another two and when a pat on my shoulder from next to me has me looking up, my heart almost drops.
"Styles!" He's tall in front of me and unfortunately way too familiar.
Liam fucking Payne is the last person on this damn earth I wanted, or expected to see tonight.
I swallow down the sick feeling I get and realization hits me that they're all here and I made a huge mistake. But I play calm and easy, like I always do.
"Payne," I greet with a nod. "Didn't know you'd be here tonight."
Because I didn't. If I did, I would be as far away from here as possible. So. Fucking. Stupid. My brain can only think of the worst possible ways this is gonna end.
His smirk is even, his features are calm and relaxed and he has reason to be. "Of course I'd be here, I do own the damn place after all." he chuckles, grabbing onto my shoulder in some casual way.
"Right," I downed another shot. I needed to get the fuck out of here, this was a mistake.
I play it casually. I play the calm and easing going expression he always falls for. "Well, enjoy your night. I should get the fuck outta here, early day tomorrow." I wink patting him back on the shoulder as I go to step away from him.
I pat him on the shoulder like we're best fucking friends and I don't wanna fucking kill him. Especially because he stops me from stepping any further.
"Whoa, whoa, not so fast Styles." his hand is on my shoulder and I wanna shove it off "Come on man, have a few drinks with me and the guys like old times." he suggests "You never come out anymore, let's celebrate all your success!"
My lips raise into a smirk, I shake my head in protest. "Nah man, I really can't tonight-"
"I saw you were with your boy, uh, what the fucks his name? Zach?" Payne cuts me off, downing a shot after winking at the bartender.
I'm not smirking anymore. My mind is racing and I wonder if he saw the others. "Zayn," I clarify and I have to clench my fists from swinging at this guys jaw.
Pointing at me he nods, "Right, Zayn." he smiles "Didn't realize you two were still friends. Why don't you invite him over too? Been a while since I seen the lad, be nice to catch up." he smirks and it's like he can't take a fucking hint.
Looking at him through my sunglasses, I know he's not gonna take no for an answer. It'd just be easier to have a drink with him then come up with excuses without being suspicious. I can't let him find out I was here with anyone else.
"One fucking drink, Payne." I then agree because I have no other choice. "But I can't promise Zayn's gonna agree, you might have to bribe him." I smirk, downing yet another shot because I'll need it.
Letting out a laugh, Payne orders a couple of rounds to his VIP section and tells me to head over whenever.
Zayn is leaned over the table, snorting lines in our VIP and I'm practically shaking in anger. Bloodshot and dilated, my boy's eyes meet mine and a grin spreads across his face, jacked up and high.
"What the fucks up with you?" He then asks, wiping his red nose.
My hand runs through curls and I take off my sunglasses pushing them back on my head. I can't see straight. "We got a problem," I can't sit still so I don't sit and instead pace back and forth in front of the couches.
The rest of the group isn't back yet and I'm hoping they stay down in the crowds of people, hidden. Zayn's lining up another line with a credit card, unbothered and unaware for now.
"Who's girlfriend did you fuck now?" He jokes but his smile drops when he sees the look on my face. "Fuck, what?" he then says standing up forgetting about perfect white lines.
"Payne's here." Is all I have to say.
He gives me a look like maybe he didn't hear me correctly. "You're fucking joking right?" he then says "Where? Did he see you? We have to get the fuck out of here-"
"He already saw me, and you." I pinch the bridge of my nose hearing Zayn mumble a 'fuck' "He wants us to have drinks with him,"
"Okay, well you said no, right?" He tilts his head, hoping.
"When the fuck have I ever been able to say no to that prick, Zayn?" My stomach turns and I have to close my eyes for the room to stop spinning.
"All right, all we have to do is have a few drinks with him, talk bullshit, then we're out in an hour tops." I reason with myself more than him.
"Fucking hell, Harry. You said he wasn't here tonight." He runs his hand through his outgrown hair.
"I thought he wasn't, he's not supposed to be, it's a weekend." I pat my pockets for any kind of cure to my shot nerves. "I dunno, I guess tonight's different, just our luck right?" I scoff, grabbing the pack of Marlboro's off the table.
"Fuck, what about the girls? We can't fucking-"
I light a cigarette. "As long as they stay downstairs and I'm guessing they will for a while, we'll be fine." I blew out smoke wishing it was something stronger but I needed to have a clear head. I didn't have room to make any more mistakes tonight.
"I'm not gonna sit there and pretend we're all best fucking mates with him and his guys." Zayn mutters as we make our way over.
He downs another shot from a waitresses tray as we walk by and I feel his rage from here.
Brown eyes are dark and dilated as they meet mine for a second. "He ruined your fucking life man, I don't know how you do it." he then says.
I ignore his comment. "Just follow my lead and don't mention we're here with anyone else."
And right before we turn into the section that's guarded by the head of security, I mumble "And for god sakes don't try to start shit, we all know how that ends."
I throw my cigarette somewhere on the ground hoping to cause a fire because Payne owns it and I don't give a fuck.
"The girls can't find out-" My boy tries to say quickly right before we enter their VIP.
"No fucking shit, Zayn"
I play my part well. I laugh when I'm supposed to and drink what he gives me. I pretend this guy who ruined my fucking life is my best mate and I do it well.
Zayn's next to me, not being nearly as calm and I know he's trying to keep it together. Especially when Payne asks him questions.
"So Zayn, still working out those anger issues on your poor drum set?" with a laugh around the table from guys that are unfamiliar. Zayn stays still.
"Yeah, how is the music business going, Styles?" A fat guy with a bald head speaks up. I have no idea who he is, but apparently he knows me. I guess everybody here knows me.
"It's alright," I answer shortly, taking a sip out of my glass filled with whiskey.
"Liam." A voice comes in and I look to my right to see the tall familiar slim figure walk over.
Her hair is a short black bob, her tattoos run down her arms and her short skirt and high heels show off long legs.
Kimberly Collins is someone I've had before and someone who hates my guts. I almost smile at the thought. But then it's not her my eyes stay focused on for long.
Because when my eyes move to strawberry blonde from next to her, I feel the world literally being crushed down from underneath me.
This couldn't be fucking happening.
I first feel Zayn go stiff from next to me and her eyes haven't even caught mine yet. She's completely fucking clueless at what she's gotten herself into. This is the worst that I feared would happen and here we are.
"Kimberly, darling." The boss of it all is always cool, calm and collected. I have to be the same.
"Harry-" Zayn mutters under his breath from next to me but we can't slip up now.
"Just follow my lead," I mutter into my glass and he reads my lips when no one is watching.
I didn't look at her again. I barely pay attention to the conversation of how they even found her. I was practically shaking in rage and anxiety. Apparently she got sick and Kimberly swooped in to save the day, but in reality she did the exact fucking opposite. Vada doesn't realize who these people are and that they're not helping at all.
I avoid eye contact as I watch from the corner of my eye as she moves in front of me, taking a seat next to the devil. They shake hands and small talk and I can't hear over the heartbeat in my ears. But then-
"Harry-?" Her voice is small and she's finally realizing where I sit.
I look up, eyes on fire but face expressionless. I tilt my head at her and play the part. "You know each other?" Payne speaks up curiously.
I look at him and hope Zayn keeps his mouth shut. I squint at her grey eyes, pretending to try to recognize her and then shrug before she can get a word out.
"I can't say that I do, have we met before?" I keep my voice even as I lean back in my seat.
Her eyebrows drop, freckles scrunch up around her nose as she looks between me and Zayn. I'm only hoping she can recognize the fire in my eyes. I'm only hoping she can read me like she always does and no one else can.
"He's- They're in that band, One Direction." she then says and I smirk because she's not being clueless now. "I'm a big fan." she continues folding her hands in her lap, nervous.
I smirk at her behind my glass and tip it at her with a wink. "Well, thanks sweetheart." I keep calm even when that shithead's hand relaxes on her thigh and offers her white lines.
Her eye contact is on me and I'm sat back expressionless, mentally telling her to get the fuck out of here. Zayn's practically shaking from next to me and I have to bump his knee with mine to tell him to calm the fuck down.
"Actually, I think I'm feeling better now-" Vada stands up now, her eyes trained on me and her smile is nervous as she looks at Payne. "I'm gonna go find my friends, thank you for all your help, Kimberly." her voice is shaking, but she's trying to hide her nerves.
Liam Payne has always been relentless though and I would be a fool to think he would just give someone like her up that easily. So when he stands up and blocks her way of moving, I have to keep myself from breaking the glass in my hand.
I almost throw it at his head when he protests with sweet words and when she still refuses he doesn't take no for an answer and makes her sit back down, on his lap.
She's now visibly upset, as her hands are shaking and I see from here as she hides behind red-blonde hair when tears prickle her eyes. He holds her tight with arms around her waist not letting up.
"You're such a prize aren't you, beautiful?" Payne's filthy hands move hair out of her eyes.
I watch fire break out in her expression as her glare turns hard. "Get the fuck off of me-" she tries to push his hands off of her, attempting to stand up.
Payne's eyes then turn hard and his fake gentle smile turns into a scowl. He holds her back down, grip tightening on her arm as he holds her down on his lap. "You really don't wanna try that honey," he says and moves his expensive suit jacket to reveal his black pistol in his waistband.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat, knowing this was only gonna get worse. Tears stream down her cheeks as she looks to me and Zayn with pleading eyes and I have to look away because it only makes my sick feeling worse.
"We'll take care of you, don't worry sweetheart." Payne continues to run his fingers through her red-yellow hair, wiping off tears as she struggles not to move away with her life on the line.
"Good thing, Kimberly found you when she did. Good eye, honey." he winks at the smug brunette and she eats up his praise.
okay I really had to fucking do something. My mind races with considerable options.
I could not say anything. I could let her be taken away by these sick bastards and not think twice about it. That way, not only would she not be such a fucking problem anymore, but I wouldn't have to deal with the consequences if I did say something.
I mean, she did get herself in this situation. Why should I pay for the consequences?
Then my mind trails to another thought. I could use this as an excuse to finally fucking kill this son of a bitch-
Zayn then leans from next to me whispering "Fucking do something."
Right. I had to do something and I had to do it quickly. Every other option seemed too complicated, with way too many problems as the result.
Looking up from my drink in my hands, I watched the girl who keeps my secrets and lets me stay without questions. She does me favors, and I guess it was the good fucking morals in me that I had to do the same. I sigh mentally, rolling my eyes. I knew what I had to do.
"Is she your new toy then?" I speak up grabbing Payne's attention, his hands now on V's hips.
A smirk spreads across his face. "I dunno yet, she might be good for business though." he leans back in his chair watching the red head with hungry eyes. "It's always the innocent naive ones that do the best," he states.
Sex trafficking and prostitution. It was normal in a place like this, it became normal to me. But just because I was used to this shit didn't mean I was gonna let anybody else be.
I've never been involved like this, I've never said anything, but Zayn's right I had to fucking do something. I didn't even think about my next words, my body was numb and the only thing I could focus on was getting out.
"Well, if that's the case, how much?" The words come out tasting like poison on my tongue but I have no other fucking choice.
Payne's brown eyes are dilated as he looks to me again, all eyes go to me again. His smirk is unsure. "How much?" he then asks curiously.
I nod my head at the girl who's shaking in his lap. "Her." I clarify
Payne laughs like it's a joke as he spreads white lines in front of him over Vada's legs. I felt sick. "That eager, Styles?" he questions playfully.
I open my mouth to answer but his head is in Vada's lap now, sucking up white lines through his nose. She jumps in surprise, tears threatening to spill as he throws his head back, eyes watering and wipes his raw red nose with a wide grin.
After a few seconds he speaks again like nothing happened. "I haven't even figured out what I wanna do with her yet," he dusts off her bare legs of leftover powder. "Who knows, maybe I'll keep her for myself." his nose is in her neck, lips pressing against it.
I watch her whine out, tears stream on her cheeks as she pleads a small. "please." and I can't watch this shit anymore.
I sit up leaning my elbows on my knees, ready to lunge forward. I take a deep breath. I still play it calmly. "Or maybe I can have her, you're right she is a prize." I say and his eyes are on me again with a smirk.
"And I deserve my own pretty prize after putting up with so much of your shit, Payne." I smirk like it's a light joke.
His dark eyes squint at me in thought, mouth twisting to the side. "Hm," he hums, leaning off of her. The clock ticks seconds by and it feels like my head is gonna explode at the suspense.
"All right Styles, only cause I wanna see you actually have some damn fun for once." his hands go to her hips and he guides her off of his lap.
I hear Kimberly scoff. "You're just gonna give her up that easily?" she glared at me. "Styles is a use once and throw away kinda guy, she's gonna be worth more than that in the system, trust me." She tries to negotiate with Payne, only caring about getting her cut.
Payne nods. "Yeah you're right, take her back when you get sick of her, she'll still be good for business afterwards." he says with a sick smirk towards me.
I wouldn't be taking her back anywhere near this fucking place, anywhere near him. I didn't care what I had to do, what I had to go through. All I cared about right now was getting her the fuck out of here as fast as I could.
"I'll have her for as long as I want her for," I tell him. I look at Kimberly. "I'm only a use once and throw away kinda guy only when they're not worth it." I make sure my words cut through her and it seems to work, because her glare turns harder and my smirk only gets more smug.
Vada's shaking as I'm up on my feet and grabbing her arm, tears are spilling down her red freckled cheeks and I can't keep my rapid heartbeat from calming down. It feels like I'm having a fucking heart attack when I reach for her face, taking her in my hands but keep that same calm expression on.
Her grey eyes are red and puffy and I give her a smirk because eyes are on us and I still have to play my part for these people. "What'd I do to earn such a lovely girl?" I lean down, my lips brushing the shell of her ear as I hear snickers from around the table.
"Trust me, follow my lead. Now nod at what I say next." I tell her secretly.
I look back into her eyes. "Would you like that?" I move red-blonde outgrown bangs out of her eyes and she does as I said and nods.
"Good girl," I then take my hands off of her leaning over to shake the fuckers hand like we just did a business deal and it makes me more sick if that's possible.
"Excuse me gentleman, I'm gonna go put my prize to good use." I smirk and they all chuckle out.
Zayn stands up in a hurry not bothering to shake hands with Payne, or say anything else to these sick bastards as he follows me out of the VIP.
"See you in the ring, Styles!" I hear Payne shout and I look over my shoulder with a wink before dropping my act as we turn our back to them with my hand around Vada's arm.
We reach the stairs, out of all of their sights, but we're still not safe because we're in his club and technically he's fucking everywhere.
I pull Zayn's shoulder. "Get Li, get the boys, and get the fuck out of here."
Zayn is panicked as he looks from a crying, shaking, traumatized Vada. "What about you-"
"I have a car here, just go. We all can't be seen together" I say and right before we go in different directions "He'll fucking find out," before I'm taking Vada's hand and pulling her in the opposite direction.
***