Just like the canal, this part of the river was pretty hidden. Trees crowded and hid the natural water chamber, hanging low in a game of who can touch the water first, their leaves a healthy green; large and vibrant in the summer sun. A clear sky greeted us from overhead; an uninterrupted blue, a warm breeze kissing my cheeks and lightly caressing my hair.
A smile lit up my face as I looked out at Loki and Zeus; the giant marmalade coloured Great Dane and the smaller, brown and white Spaniel, one trotting and one running wildly along the narrow path of the wide river. They had adjusted pretty quickly to the move. Loki was a little hesitant since it had been just him and I for so long but after a week or so he enjoyed the extra fuss he received and the permanent time he had with Zeus.
Our walks were longer now, instead of walking along the canal we strolled along the river where hardly anyone walked or cycled by. Most days it was just me and the dogs.
My anxiety wasn't as crippling -I didn't know if that was from the lack of uncomfortable social interactions I encountered or because my anxiety wasn't as threatening and hard to manage. Anxiety was still with me, a companion of sorts that I couldn't shift, and I think it would always be with me. It was something that was part of me now, it could only lessen or worsen. My anxiety depended on the day; somedays I could smile at strangers, partake in an exchange of pleasantries with the odd person whom I would come across on my walks -those were on the very good days when Alex was with me- or I would fall back to my old hermit self and my anxiety would surge, overwhelming me until all I wanted to do was curl up on the sofa with the dogs, hiding away in a blanket and write.
It's happened too many times where I've done that and Alex comes home to see me looking like Sheldon when he was outraged and wanted to destroy the planet.
Alex and I both shopped for our groceries together on a Saturday, going to a completely new supermarket in the evening since it wasn't a peak time. The fact that I had to change supermarkets was incredibly troubling and I'm ashamed to say it caused me a panic attack or two but I got through it, with Alex.
The summer colours were vibrant and bright, lighting up in the sun. Flourising flowers, bright green grass, animated trees that waved in the light breeze. The River glistened and shone like thousands of diamonds were trapped underneath, whooshing and singing to its own tune, ignoring the winds and birds' songs that hummed beautifully. Swans floated atop the glittering surface like royalty; elegantly and slowly, spreading their wings to show their crowns.
I enjoyed the river more than the canal. Its beauty astounded me.
My feet ached as I set foot in the old english cottage that was surrounded and seculded by trees, rose bushes and fields; green, brown, pink, red and blue surrounded us. We were in our own bubble here which was how we wanted it to be, only a few people knowing where we live and visiting us every now and then.
Neutral colours greeted me, pictures of Alex, the dogs and I greeted me on the off white walls. My lips instantly curled up at the reminder of my family.
"What are you doing home?" I ask Alex, shocked by his presence when he should be at work.
"I love being welcomed so sweetly by my wife." He teases and I bend down, the two of us sharing a sweet kiss.
"Better?" I whisper, crimson creeping up my cheeks when he pulls me down for a second, longer kiss that sends my head spinning.
He nods, pecking my lips one last time. "Well I didn't want to be there and then I remembered I'm the boss."
I nod in understanding, smiling at the fifth member of our family on Alex's lap.
"Hi Dionysus."
The little Dachshund barks quietly, his tongue lolling out from his place on Alex's lap.
"He's been whining since I came home. I think he wants to go out with his brothers and mummy." Alex whispered, grabbing my hand and planting a kiss on my knuckles when I collapsed next to him and then kissing my engagement ring and the plain gold wedding band, the ring that matches the one he wears on the fourth finger of his left hand.
Our wedding; we had a small ceremony, one where my only friend, her parents and Alex's close friends -the men I had met only a few days before our actual wedding- and his family was present for. It was stunning, a garden wedding and a barn reception where we were surrounded by nature, family and love.
Alex's father was our registrar, uniting us in union and love. Morgan was my maid of honour as well as the person who gave me away. There wasn't a person on this earth whom I wanted to give me away more and when the time came, Morgan and I both shed a few tears.
She was my sister and my bestest friend. I loved her.
Lucy, Jada's daughter and now my niece, was my bridesmaid. Jada was Alex's 'bestman', looking better than Alex himself and his groomsmen on our big day in her suit. Loki was the ring bearer and Zeus knocked me over at the alter when he bounded over and jumped up at me. True to Alex's words, he caught me just like he said he always would.
"You can't Dion." I gently lift Dionysus on to my lap, cupping his little face and talking how one would to a baby. "You're only twelve weeks old. You have to keep going in the garden for a few weeks until you're old enough. I promise when you're sixteen weeks you can come out with us."
I could feel Alex's boring eyes on the side of my head. "He can't understand you."
"Yes he can. Shut up." I shuffle away from him. "Don't listen to daddy, he's just jealous that you love me more." Dionysus barked and licked my face in response.
Shrugging, Alex stuck his tongue out. "I don't care. Loki and Zeus love me more."
I raise my eyebrow. "Really?" He nods. Smirking, I send him a knowing look. "Loki. Zeus."
Almost instantly the two dogs bound over to the cream sofa, jumping up and lying next to me with their heads on my lap.
"Zeus."
Nothing.
"Zeus."
Not a single movement.
"Zeus!"
Zeus huffs at Alex's voice and nuzzles his muzzle further in to my lap.
"Well looks like we're having Great Dane soup tonight."
A light laugh escapes me while I try and stroke the three dogs equally. "Don't be jealous Alex, we all love you."
"I'm his owner though." Alex huffed, glaring at the giant dog.
An unconvinced noise made its way up my throat. "Are you though? Because I trained him and I spent everyday with him for months and I still do. He's my dog now."
Rolling his eyes, he shuffles closer to me, subtracting the space I made between us. "He's more your dog than he is mine but as long as we're together he's ours."
"He will always be ours. They will always be ours."
He nods in agreement, pecking my lips lovingly. "Our family. Alex, Oaklee, Zeus, Loki and Dion."
"That sounds like the perfect family." I smile down at our kids before glancing up at my husband. He was beautiful... absolutely beautiful and he was my husband. "Morgan is staying over the weekend."
His groan fills the air. "That reminds me... I have a lot of work to do this weekend."
"Oh no you don't." I send him a playful glare. "You two have to make up."
He sends me an incredulous look. "She told everyone about what happened in her maids of honour speech at our wedding. She called me an asshole!"
"She made a joke." I defend weakly.
Alex and Morgan hadn't been on the best of terms since the wedding. Morgan held a grudge against Alex since the accident where I gained amnesia and she thought it would be a great idea to include that particular scenario in her maids of honour speech, insulting Alex nunerous times at his own wedding. Since then, Alex has been avoiding her and Morgan has been basking in the Alex freedom whenever she comes to visit.
"I buy her a freaking ferrari and she repays me by talking shit about me at my own damn wedding." He mutters to himself. "You're lucky I love your dumb smart ass enough to put up with her."
I grin. "And I love your cold and mean heart enough to put up with your work phonecalls so you owe me."
"I don't answer them in front of you."
I ignore him. "Please stay this weekend and make up with her. Morgan holds grudges but she's mostly doing it just to annoy you." Silence follows. "Please Alex. Do it for me."
He groans. "I'm doing it for you.... to be honest I have missed arguing with her."
A grin lights up my face at his confession. "I knew it!"
Rolling his eyes, he ushers the three dogs off my lap and picks me up, making me straddle his lap. A blush arises at our position even though we've done a lot more than this. We've known each other years and been married a few months and I'm more than comfortable with him but he still has an effect on me. Being so close to him still makes my heart flutter and my stomach to feel like a volcano of butterflies is erupting. His touch still sends warmth to every cell in my body, lighting and warming me up like he's a fire in the cold and dark forest.
He brought comfort to my anxiety ridden world and I brought happiness to his work filled world. We were the balance neither of us knew we needed or craved.
"I love you Oak." He whispers with an eskimo kiss.
Those same pesky butterflies rage rapidly at his actions and words. Those three words still send my heart in to a frenzy.
"I love you Alex."
Till death do us part.