(A/N: Hi! I know these last couple chapters have been pretty heavy and there hasn't been much Kylo content but it's all necessary. Trust the process, I promise! Just know that it won't be that way for much longer and I appreciate everyone sticking around. Okay. Enjoy!)
To say that the plane ride back home was uncomfortable, was a bit of an understatement.
You had spent almost the entire flight with your gun trained directly on Vicrul, trying to ignore the way that Ushar was yelling from the bathroom for you to let him out.
You did feel bad, honestly, you did. These were your close friends who you were threatening and locking away. But, each time you questioned yourself, your brain went right to Kylo. You had to get back to him. This wasn't easy but it was a necessary part of this.
"I'm sorry." You said to Vicrul after about thirty minutes of tense silence.
He said nothing at first, thinking it over. He wasn't happy to be in this situation, that was for sure. But none of this would make him happy. Even if he was doing the right thing by following Kylo's instructions, it would've still felt wrong to leave you.
Deep down, this is what Vicrul wanted. Even though it was dangerous, he wanted you to go back to Kylo. He was thankful that you decided for him to let you do so, it would be a lot easier to explain to Kylo that you held him at gunpoint than to explain that he'd just given into your wishes.
"I really hate that you and Ushar were brought into this but...I have to." You frowned, adjusting the weapon in your hand. "I can't just get sent away without a fight."
More silence.
"You're fucking crazy," Vicrul said at one point, sighing and leaning back in his seat. He glanced over at you, noticing that you had the gun positioned in your hand while you yawned, getting more comfortable in your seat.
"I know." You agreed with him.
The two of you locked eyes and it just happened, the two of you couldn't stop laughing. This entire situation was crazy. The fact that you had been kidnapped, Kylo had dropped you off and left you, and now you were sneaking your way right back to him.
"What's so funny? I hate it here, I'm too fucking big for this." Ushar groaned from the bathroom, left out. You could faintly hear the way that there was a thud against the door. He had sunk to the ground, resting the back of his head against the locked door behind him. He'd given up trying to get out a while ago.
"I'm crazy." You called back to him, still laughing a little with Vicrul.
There was a moment of pause.
"Yeah, no shit," Ushar called back, smirking slightly, despite himself.
It didn't matter if you were threatening both of their lives. They still cared about you, they were still on your side.
"Put these on," Vicrul told you, handing you a sweatshirt of his, several sizes too big and a pair of sunglasses, trying to hide your identity as much as he could considering the circumstances.
The three of you had just landed.
Home.
You nodded, doing as he said, even though it felt sort of stupid to you. Like you were putting on a cheesy disguise in a movie instead of sneaking back to the place you had previously lived.
Vicrul moved to the back of the plane, moving the beverage cart out of the way so that Ushar could open the bathroom door and let himself out. "Alright, man." He called out, letting him know that he was free to leave.
Ushar's large body instantly pushed through the door, almost collapsing against the floor with the amount of effort that he was putting into pushing on it. He was slightly sweaty, hair disheveled. It hadn't exactly been comfortable there.
Ushar's eyes were wild, glancing around before he stalked over to you.
You raised your eyebrows, nervous. He was on a mission to get to you, pissed about being cramped and confined for so long.
It didn't take much for him to get right in front of you. Ushar's hand went to your face, gripping you tightly, pushing you towards the seat behind you, causing you to wince softly. A reminder of his strength and ability to injure you if he wanted to.
"Ushar," Vicrul called out, a warning tone. He wouldn't let him hurt you.
You swallowed hard, heart thumping as you stared up at him."I-I'm sorry." You managed to get out, despite your surprise.
Ushar was glaring down at you, jaw set in a tense line. He was silent, chest rising and falling in anger.
You were sure that he was going to hit you, do something to hurt you.
But then a slow grin made its way onto his face and he was laughing, just like you and Vicrul had been earlier, almost uncontrollably. His grip left your cheeks so that he could ruffle your hair, messing it up. "Don't be sorry. Proud of you, kid."
You let out a shaky exhale of breath, putting a hand to your chest. "Jesus Christ." You muttered, calming yourself down.
Vicrul smirked as he threw a bag over his shoulder, watching the two of you as he gathered everyone's belongings together. He had been suspicious that Ushar had really been that mad, it made sense that he was just messing with you.
"You told me I had the biggest balls? Look at you. Giant." Ushar grinned, genuinely proud of you and how you had locked him away.
"Fuck you." You muttered, a grin on your face.
"No, fuck you," Ushar argued, an equally large smile on his face as he pointed his finger at you. "You're lucky you're so cute."
"Okay, we gotta go." Vicrul interrupted the two of you, reaching out to pull the hood up on his sweatshirt that you were wearing over your head, covering up more parts of yourself that would help you be identified. He patted the top of your head, affectionately.
You felt like you were forgetting something...
"Wait!" You said, realizing. "I have to call Luke."
The two men paused in their moments, eyebrows raising.
"He was supposed to pick me up...he's going to tell Kylo he never got me, that my plane never landed." You explained. How could you have forgotten? Fuck, fuck, fuck.
"Well, do it then. Quickly." Ushar said, urging you, As much as they wanted you to succeed in your plan, they also needed you to. If this all went to shit, they would be killed for being involved with something so oppositional to their boss.
You nodded, getting into your backpack so that you could search for your phone, finding it. It wasn't your phone, Kylo had that. Or destroyed it, who knows? But it was a simple flip phone, one that you were supposed to destroy when you landed in your new city.
You could barely go into your past calls to find Luke's number, your hands were shaking so badly.
It briefly rang, only one and a half times before his voice came over the line. "It's you." He said simply. It was too casual to just say 'hello', the situation was too serious, but it was also stupid to say anything more that could put your safety into question.
"It's me, yeah." You answered, moving away from Vicrul and Ushar to get just a little bit of privacy, even though you'd end up telling them everything anyways. "I need a favor from you...It's important. Life or death."
Luke sighed. He had a feeling this was coming when the plane was late, it hadn't arrived yet and he wondered what the hold up had been.
Taking his silence as him being ready to hear what you had to say, you continued. "I'm not coming to you. I'm back at home, I didn't go through with it. And I don't have much time right now to explain."
You heard a groan from his end, a frustrated grunt. "You're joking." His tone wasn't exactly surprised, just disappointed. He had a feeling that this was going to happen after our initial phone call with him.
"I need you to just ignore Kylo for a while or if you talk to him, I need you to please lie for me. Tell him that I made it to you safely." You were begging, it was clear in your voice, you were definitely not ashamed to do so right now.
"I can't do that. I'm sorry." Luke frowned. He felt terrible, he really did. But he barely wanted to be involved in this situation in the first place. If he were to lie and betray Kylo, he was nervous that it would just lead to bigger problems for him.
You were silent, thinking about it. You should've known.
Your voice was small as you continued. "I'm already here. It's your choice to decide what happens." You guilted him. In a way, it was true. It was in Luke's hands now. He was responsible for whether or not you could safely go through with this.
"I plan to get a few things done here... Then I'm coming back to you. I still have the flash drive, I'm going to use it." You lied to him. "But I need some control in his situation, this is my life too, I want to decide what to do with it. I'm going to start over, but on my own terms."
Luke thought about it. Goddammit.
"What's the point? If you're just coming back to me anyways." Luke tried to understand, tried to shed some reasoning.
"Because," You glanced behind you, noticing that Vicrul and Ushar were pretending not to listen even though they were, oh well.
"I love him, Luke. I have to go back home and take care of things for him. He can't do it himself, it has to be me. I'm trying to keep him safe, just like he was trying for me. I have to."
It dawned on Luke. He'd never heard someone speak this way about Kylo, even about Ben. It became clear to him how important you two were to each other. You were risking everything just to help him, you were truly and utterly in love with him.
In all of Ben's childhood, Luke always said that he just needed someone to set him straight but no one could ever get through to him. No one besides you, it seemed.
Kylo never loved anyone before you.
Luke knew that you needed this. And Kylo needed you.
He couldn't come between that. "Okay." He agreed, hesitantly. "I'll ignore his calls for a while. I'll let him know later I was getting you settled and that you made it safely."
You sighed in relief, giving a brief 'thumbs up' to Vic and Ushar.
"But," Luke started, interrupting your celebratory thoughts. "You have to promise me that you'll take this opportunity to start over afterward, that you aren't just bluffing."
You nodded even though he couldn't see you, agreeing. "I promise."
Yeah, right.
Your stomach twisted as the three of you walked off of the ramp of the plane. You kept your head down, even though there was no one there besides the driver, you still felt exposed. You were supposed to be dead.
You were thankful to see that the driver who was picking the three of you up was not the same one who dropped you off before. It would cause less suspicion. He opened the door to assist Vicrul in putting away the luggage.
"Boss told me there would only be two of you." The driver muttered to Vicrul, setting down your suitcases in the trunk.
Vicrul played it cool, not letting any emotion fall across his face. "Picked up a girl to bring back home. It's a surprise, don't tell him." He said casually, acting as if that was just something that mobsters did. Maybe it would be if the trip had been taken under different circumstances.
The driver raised his eyebrows, nodding, knowing his best course of action was to mind his business when it came to these men. It wasn't that you looked bad right now, but you didn't really fit the profile of what the driver assumed you'd look like. You were far too clothed, for starters.
You settled into the back seat beside Ushar, knee bouncing nervously.
Ushar reached out and touched your knee, steadying it.
A flashback ran through your head, making you tense up.
You'd been in a situation like this before. With Kylo, in the back of a driver's car when you were on the way to the hospital to see your mom. It was the first time you spent alone with Kylo when you snuck off to a hotel with him so that you could secretly say goodbye to your dying mother.
It was like you had been transported back to that moment so long ago:
You were biting your nails and tapping your foot against the floor of the backseat. You really didn't want to do this.
Kylo glanced over and saw how nervous you were. He didn't know the dynamic between you and your mother, he really didn't know anything about your family besides what you had told him so far but he easily understood what it was like to have a strained relationship with a parent, to say the least.
He reached out and put a hand on your knee, stopping your foot from tapping. "Hey, worrying isn't going to help." He told you with a frown.
How had you not realized at the time that Kylo was going to become the man you would become head over heels in love with? So in love that you were giving up your own life to make sure his life was safe?
At the time he'd been just a cocky, handsome, nearly stranger. Now... he was everything to you.
You felt stronger now, fueled by your spite towards Hux and Snoke and everyone else who forced Kylo to push you away.
You had spent so much time doing what you were told. When you were dating Hux, you had been so submissive and shallow, pretending like all you cared about were the shiny things he could buy you. You never spoke up, never wanted to give him a reason to argue with you.
Then when you got involved with Kylo, you became braver in your convictions but still, you had followed every direction he gave you. Your life had been ruled by the mob for so long and you were finally taking matters into your own hands.
"Where are we headed?" Vicrul broke your thought process, glancing at you over his shoulder.
The driver once again raised his eyebrows. He tried not to listen, not wanting to do anything but mind his own business. He really didn't need the trouble. But it was strange that you were the one calling the shots, considering you were just some girl they were taking home with them.
You didn't need to think about it, you knew exactly where you needed to go. Even though this entire plan had been rushed, you did have a lot of time to think it through. You had almost all of your details covered.
You leaned forward so that the driver could hear you, telling him an address: the art studio that Kylo bought you for Christmas.
The key had been in a wrapped box. Kylo had packed it in your suitcase without looking inside, forgetting in the rushed moment of packing all of your belongings together to check to see if you still had it. You assumed that he had been too busy with everything else to even think about the Christmas gift he'd given you.
Ushar and Vicrul stole a confused glance at each other. Where were you taking them? They were just along for the ride.
It was so strange to be in the city again. Before you had been so familiar with it, you'd lived there as long as you could remember. But somehow, right now, it felt like you'd never seen it before. A stranger. You felt so out of place.
After taking the sunglasses you borrowed from Vicrul off of your face, you fished out the tiny little box that was resting in the bottom of your suitcase, needing the key.
You had never been in the art studio building before. You had gotten the gift for Christmas and everything else happened so quickly after that. Your engagement party was days later, getting kidnaped the day after that...Your life had been taken from you in an instant.
Vicrul and Ushar were standing on either side of you, protecting you as they looked around. They were on guard now constantly, knowing that although you had technically forced them to bring you here, they were still responsible for your safety.
"What is this place?" Ushar asked, trying to piece it together. He clearly had never been in an art studio before which was no surprise.
You ignored him, too focused. "Got it." You muttered, taking out the box and the key within it. You
They were silent as they watched you put the key into the lock, turning it. They were both shocked that you were handling this so well. You were acting like Kylo, pushing your feelings aside to take charge and get things done. Little mob boss.
You took a deep breath, pushing the door open.
You froze when you saw the inside.
At its core, it was just a studio. Cement floors, exposed ceiling. There were various paint stains on multiple surfaces, dirty just from the natural use of the room. But it was clear that Kylo had tried to make it personalized for you, or at least he hired someone else to do so.
There were a few easel options as if he wasn't sure which one you needed and had just decided to get them all. A comfortable couch in the corner (if you ever needed a nap break). A mini-fridge, currently empty and unplugged. An entire wall of different paints and brushes.
It immediately brought tears into your eyes.
Right now, you should've been enjoying this. Maybe Kylo would've been there, lounging on the couch with a glass of whiskey while you sat perched on the stool, painting and humming under your breath. Happy.
But instead, you were there without him, crying, and in everyone else's eyes, you were dead.
You moved into the room, running your fingers over the surface of various items of furniture, checking out every inch.
It felt like you were looking in on a memory that didn't belong to you. Really, it didn't belong to you anymore. You didn't exist. You could've had all of this, in another life, if everything had been different.
The mafia was a double-edged sword.
The mob was how you met Kylo in the first place, it was the only reason you were even in his life. It was the reason that he had the money to get you things like this, your art studio, how Hux had paid for your apartment. It was the reason you were able to take private jets and get into exclusive restaurants.
The mafia gave you everything then took it away.
"Is it always so cold in here?" Ushar asked, shivering as he stepped into the room.
Vicrul shut the door behind him, locking it up.
"I don't know." You muttered, distracted, "Never been here before."
Vicrul wasn't stupid, he could put the pieces together. Kylo must've bought it for you and you hadn't had time to experience it. He stepped behind you, gently putting a hand on your shoulder. "It's nice in here." He commented with an apologetic smile.
You wiped your eyes, averting your face away from him so that he couldn't see. "I know." You said softly, "Kylo did a good job." You muttered softly, mostly to yourself.
"Speaking of him," Ushar said as he came over to the two of you. "What the fuck is going on? What's your plan here?"
You took a deep breath. You knew what you were doing. How did you even begin to explain it to the two of them?
Before you could, Vicrul's phone rang in his pocket, almost painfully loud in the otherwise completely silent room. He pulled it out of his pocket, color draining from his face. Kylo was calling him.
You didn't need to ask who it was, you could tell from the look on his face. Your heart sped up, you felt like you were going to puke. Kylo was on the other line, he was in the same city as you. It felt unreal. You couldn't talk to him, he was so close but so far away from you.
"He can't know that I'm here. Not yet." You told him quickly, pleading.
"Don't say a word. Let me handle it." Vicrul told you, visibly nervous as he made his way into the opposite end of the room.
You had to sit down on the stool beside you, feeling your knees wobble beneath you.
Ushar stood next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as if to hold you steady, able to tell how shaky you were.
After taking a long, deep breath, he pressed the green button on his phone, answering it. "Hey," Vicrul said, sounding casual despite the circumstances.
Kylo was sitting in his apartment, on the edge of his bed. He was so fucking anxious. Today was the day that you were leaving for good. It felt like a nightmare. "You're home now?" He asked, ignoring his greeting.
"Home. Yeah." Vicrul said, "Ushar and I landed a little bit ago."
Kylo stood up abruptly, moving to his bathroom, convinced that he was going to vomit. "Luke won't answer my calls. He should've called me hours ago to let me know that he picked her up. What if something fucking happened?" He ranted, pacing back and forth on his tiled floor.
"Don't do that." Vicrul sighed. He felt so guilty lying to Kylo and it felt even worse to hear his boss so broken up. It was so out of character for him.
You wrapped your arms tightly around yourself, desperate for comfort, wanting to be here to comfort Kylo yourself. The thought of him suffering on his own without you around was driving you crazy.
"Luke's fucking old, isn't he? He probably doesn't know how to use his phone." Vicrul tried to laugh, trying to deescalate the situation.
Kylo didn't laugh.
"Besides, if he just picked her up a little bit ago, he's probably still with her, right? I don't think he'd want to talk to you in front of her. Do you know how badly that would hurt her to know that he could talk to you but she couldn't?" Vicrul asked, looking over at you with a frown, realizing the irony of that.
Yeah, he was right, this hurt you badly.
Kylo took a deep breath, thinking about that. He just wanted to call you, wanted to hear your voice to make sure you were okay.
"I saw her get in the car with him," Vicrul said, squeezing his eyes shut as he did it as if it would lower his guilt if he couldn't physically see what he was doing. "It went smoothly on our end, don't worry about it."
Kylo let out an audible sigh of relief. He leaned against the counter, exhausted. "You saw her? She got in the car with Luke?" He repeated, needing to hear it again. He just needed to know that he didn't send you away into a dangerous situation.
"Yes," Vicrul answered, shaking his head in a negative way even though his words were affirmative. He'd never lied like this to Kylo before.
Kylo was silent for a while. It happened. That was it.
"Okay." He finally said, running the water in the sink so that he could splash some on his face. He felt like he could pass out. "I-I, um..." He trailed off, trying to seem strong, trying to keep his shit together in front of Vicrul. "I gotta go." He said suddenly.
The second that the phone was hung up, Kylo leaned his elbows onto the counter, head in his hands. A sob reverberated through his chest.
You were gone.
"All good." Vicrul sighed. It was far from good. Really far from good. But Kylo bought the lie, at least.
You nodded, picking at a stray string hanging off of the sleeve of Vicrul's large sweatshirt you had on. You kept telling yourself to keep it together, to stay calm, trying not to fully break down.
"How was he?" You asked in a faraway voice, keeping your eyes down.
Vicrul glanced over at Ushar, you all knew the answer. "Don't worry about him." That was all that he could say. He already lied to Kylo, he couldn't lie to you too.
You were all silent for a few moments.
"What now?" Ushar finally broke the quiet, getting antsy.
You looked between the two of them, knowing that they weren't going to like what the next step in your plan was going to be. "Hux is going to a New Years' party tonight, I know where he wouldn't shut up about it before. We have to go to it."
They both shook their heads right away, saying different 'no's and 'not happening'.
"All you two have to do is get me alone with Hux, in a private room somewhere. The rest is up to me. I promise." You told them, swallowing hard.
"So..." Vicrul closed his eyes, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Let's get this straight because I'm sure I'm missing something here..." He opened his eyes again and looked at you. "Your plan as a technically dead woman is to...walk into a crowded club. Get Hux alone. Kill him there. Then come back here? And not get caught?"
You blinked, awkward silence, as you thought about it.
"Yup. That's it." You answered, embarrassed.
A beat of silence.
"You're fucking with us, right?" Ushar asked.
More silence before you slowly shook your head. "I'm not."
"We can't let you do that." Vicrul told you with a frown, "It's really unsafe and-"
You cut him off, interrupting him. "I know it is. It doesn't matter. I was serious when I said I had nothing to lose. No one's going to suspect me unless they know for a fact that it's me. If they think I'm dead, they aren't going to accuse me. I know that it sounds like a stupid plan but I think I can do it."
"Then what?" Ushar asked, raising an eyebrow. "You go back to Luke? Or what? You and Kylo are going to live happily ever after? Hux isn't the only thing getting in your way here. You can kill him but then what? You're still dead."
He wasn't wrong. Hux was the tip of the iceberg. But it was something you could do. And in a situation where you felt completely helpless, it was exhilarating. It gave you a sense of ownership over yourself and your actions.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ushar asked again, trying to get through to you. "We can get you back on another plane, pretend none of this happened. I think you're in over your head, kid."
You shrugged, smirking slightly. "We'll see." You said simply.
Ushar groaned, frustrated, there was nothing he could say to convince you.
Vicrul was watching you, a small smirk forming on his face that matched yours. Right now you were determined, reckless, and cocky. Your ambition was fueled by your desires even if it wasn't the smartest choice. You were in charge.
You were just like Kylo.
Hours later, Kylo was taking his fourth shot of the night. He made no reaction to the taste as if it were water. It might as well have been. No amount of liquor could numb the way that he felt right now.
A few of his knights came over to his apartment earlier that night, forcing him to get in the shower, put on some nice clothes for the night, got him all tipsy and ready to go out to a New Years' party.
It was the last thing that he wanted to do.
Right now, he was far from the Kylo Ren they all knew and respected. He looked like he hadn't slept or ate in days (because he hadn't). His knights had gotten him all ready, made him put on jewelry, cologne, brush his hair but he still wasn't himself. He had no light behind his eyes. He was sitting in a crowded nightclub, sandwiched between Cardo and Trudgen who were shouting over him at each other, laughing about something that happened the night before.
Kylo could've been anywhere, his mind would never be present in whatever setting he decided to be in. It would only be on you.
His men were all on edge. They looked up to Kylo, they weren't really sure what to do if they weren't taking orders from him. Ever since you 'died', Kylo had turned into someone else. They weren't sure where that left them, what they were supposed to do with themselves now that their mentor was just a hollow shell.
"Come on, another one," Cardo said, hand grasping Kylo's shoulder as he handed him another shot.
"No," Kylo muttered. His knights were pushing it. He agreed to go out with them, he didn't have much of a choice because they refused to leave his apartment otherwise, but that didn't mean that they could force him to have a good time.
"Ren, don't be a pussy, do one more with us." Trudgen joked with him, trying to give him some tough love.
Kylo easily took the shot glass that was being shoved in his face. He tossed the liquid forward, splashing it out onto the table in front of them. "I said no." He growled, tossing the tiny glass onto the table as well, watching as it rolled off the edge.
The whiskey in the shot glass had splashed against the surface of the table and onto a few people across from them in the private room, causing them to shout in surprise, angry. When they turned around to see who had thrown it, they instantly stopped and apologized to Kylo, knowing better than to upset him.
Cardo and Trudgen backed off instantly as well, even scooting away from him on the couch that they were sitting on. They took it a little too far.
Kylo stood up from the couch. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Every time that a moment like that happened, where he felt angry or sad again, he could only think of you. You were the person he used to go to for comfort and that was gone. He didn't know what to do with these feelings now that he was alone.
"Where are you going?" Cardo called after him.
"Bathroom," Kylo muttered, barely audible over the loud music and people attempting to talk over it to each other.
He pushed through the crowd. The people who were sober enough to notice who he was and how upset he looked, instantly moved out of the way, whispering and pointing. It was like a local celebrity sighting to see him out in public.
Kylo made his way to the bathrooms, going to the private bathroom that was otherwise reserved for employees, ignoring the long line of people waiting for the public one. He locked it quickly behind him, all alone in there now.
Now that it was quieter and more isolated, he was able to let his emotions wash over him. He was hyperventilating, leaning his back against the door, tears forming in his eyes.
He wondered what you were doing. Were you with Luke still? Or maybe you were all alone in your new home, trying to make it feel more comfortable for yourself.
He wondered if you were as upset as he was. Kylo wiped at his eyes angrily as he imagined you curled up in your brand new, strange bed, crying all alone.
How could he do this to you? He wanted to keep you safe but he didn't want to feel like this anymore. He didn't want you feeling like this.
Kylo pulled his phone out of his pocket. He could hardly see the screen because of the shots he'd just taken and the way that his hands were shaking. But he saw your name on his screen, the little crown emoji that you put next to your name to tease him.
After he dropped you off at the motel, he destroyed your phone, got rid of it in order to not blow your cover. But right now, he found himself pressing the call button on your contact name, desperate for you even though he was aware that it wouldn't go through.
Still, he held the speaker to his ear, swallowing hard when he heard the flat dial tone, alerting him that your phone was off. Dead.
Kylo muttered a 'fuck' under his breath, hanging it up. Another reminder that you were gone.
Now he went to his voicemails, pressing on the one that Luke left earlier. It had been brief, hardly even ten seconds long. But it was to let Kylo know that you landed and were safe.
It wasn't your voice but it was good enough, knowing that even if you were hurting, you were okay.
He was going to listen to it again, wanting to turn the volume up louder. He wanted to listen to it for the tenth time, just to check to make sure your voice wasn't in the background at all.
But he was interrupted, someone pounding on the bathroom door.
"Ren!" Trudgen's voice called out. "We're going to the next party, that club a few blocks away. We'll wait for you!" He shouted, able to be loud enough over the music.
Kylo put his phone back in his pocket, making sure that his tears were all dry on his cheeks, breathing back to normal.
He just wanted to go home, wanted to listen to the voicemail over and over again. Wanted to look through the sketchbook you left behind, smell your perfume... fucking cry in the privacy of his own home.
But he was nervous to do that. He was scared about what he'd do to himself if he didn't have someone around watching him and monitoring his actions.
Kylo opened the bathroom door. Trudgen instantly pulled him into one of those rough, manly side hugs, patting his back aggressively.
"We're just trying to cheer you up. You let us know when you're ready to leave, alright?" Trudgen assured him. It was true, they were just looking out for their boss, trying to give him even one night of normalcy.
"Sure," Kylo said, softly but cold. His eyes didn't meet Trudgen's. He was hardly even there.
You had been through a lot lately.
But you could honestly say that this was the first time that you had ever snuck into the back of a crowded nightclub so that you could murder your ex-boyfriend.
That was definitely a first.
Vicrul was holding your arm in his hand, navigating you through the hallways that were crowded with cleaning supplies and various other items put away for storage.
He had been thankful that the club Hux was at tonight, happened to be the same club that a girl he used to hook up with, worked at. Vicrul used to stop by when she was bartending and they'd sneak away to empty rooms in the back for a quickie. He knew exactly which ones were the hardest to get caught in.
Vicrul knew the perfect room for you to be alone with Hux.
He pushed it open, glancing around as he did so. No cameras in the hall, he remembered that from before. None in the rooms either, they really did the bare minimum around here. He remembered learning that even half of the cameras in the main part of the club didn't work, it made it much easier for the club owners to conduct their sketchy business practices.
It was a room that held various promotional items that weren't in use anymore. Banners and cutouts of various brands were displayed at a certain point. Vicrul knew that no one would be coming in there tonight, they never did when he fucked his cute little bartender in there either.
"Okay, how are you going to do it?" Vicrul asked you, putting his hands on your shoulders so that you were forced to stare up at him.
You didn't understand at first but then you thought about what he was asking. "I have my gun. Is it-will it be too loud? I have the um-the silencer on it." You asked, starting to get more nervous now that you were standing there, in the same spot you'd be using the weapon.
Vicrul could sense your nerves instantly. He squeezed your shoulders gently. "I know you've done this before," He was talking about killing someone, "But it was always a spur of the moment thing, self-defense, right?"
When you nodded, he continued. "This is going to be hard then." He told you honestly.
You frowned. If this was his definition of a pep talk, he was not doing a great job...
"I know you hate him and you're ready to get rid of him but...When you're looking into his eyes, before you pull the trigger, you're probably going to doubt yourself. You might even convince yourself that you can't go through with it." Vicrul explained. It had been the same way for him, the first time he went through with a planned hit.
"You can't listen to that voice in your head. Once you get him alone, you have to kill him. You have to go through with it, there's no second-guessing." Vicrul said, his eyes locked on yours seriously.
You gulped, taking a deep breath. You had to do this. There was no turning back now, you had to go through with it. You wanted to, you wanted to kill Hux for all the pain he caused you and to take down one of the obstacles in the way of being with Kylo.
But Vicrul was right...it wasn't going to be easy.
Vicrul could sense the hesitance in your eyes, he wouldn't let that take over. He needed you to go through with this just as much as you needed it, he was in the same danger as you were. "Just pretend Kylo's standing over your shoulder, telling you to pull the trigger. Okay?"
You thought about it. If Kylo were here with you, telling you what to do, you wouldn't hesitate at all. You trusted him and what he thought was best...You had to think the same way about yourself to make this work. "Okay." You agreed.
Vicrul stared at you for a few long moments, making sure that you really believed in yourself and agreed with him. Some of the cautions from before was gone in your eyes, filled with purpose instead. "You can do this. You're capable." He reminded you, squeezing your shoulders one last time before he pulled away.
"Thanks, Vic." You told him, a nervous smile on your lips.
Vicrul nodded. He wanted to say more. He wanted to tell you that he was proud of you for not breaking down when Kylo left you, that he was impressed that you had even been able to form a plan let alone do everything that you could to execute it.
You and Kylo were perfect for each other, it was more clear now than ever.
But he didn't want to overwhelm you by telling you all of that, you didn't have a lot of time as it was.
"Stay here. Don't go anywhere. Hux will be up." Vicrul told you.
Those words caused shivers to run down your spine. This was it.
Downstairs, in the area where the club was packed with people celebrating New Year's Eve, Ushar was scheming and pulling some strings.
It hadn't been too hard to find Hux. Ushar just had to figure out where the VIP section was and from there, it was easy to spot his red hair in the group of people huddled around the bottle service being given to them.
At that point, Ushar got the attention of one of the troopers that were hanging around. He had been hoping to get someone in VIP's attention to let him in as well. Ushar remembered this specific guy, he was slimy, always trying to work his way up the ladder in any shady means necessary.
Ushar wouldn't feel all too bad about threatening to kill him after this in order to keep his mouth shut.
He told the trooper to go get Hux and tell him to come to the back of the club, to the door that was labeled 'storage'. Ushar made sure that the trooper was going to tell Hux to knock and say who it was and that there was a surprise for him in there. A surprise in the form of a few girls waiting for him, drugs of his choice, Snoke's treat.
Hux must've been cocky and drunk enough to believe that his boss was giving him a small token of gratitude for all of his hard work lately. Most people would question it, maybe even call Snoke to ask if he really had a surprise for him but not Hux. He was just so eager and ready for praise that he took it in stride.
Ushar moved to the corner of the club, watching Hux make his way to the back. His pale skin was flushed and he had a smirk on his face. Sucker.
He leaned back against the wall, proud of himself for being able to accomplish his little piece of your plan. Sending Hux to you. His job here was done. Well...until you needed help with getting rid of the body but...that was later.
Ushar was debating whether or not he should get himself a celebratory drink, to reward himself for not fucking anything up like he normally did. But then he saw commotion towards the front of the club and he froze in place.
Moving through the crowd of people, easily shifting through them out of pure intimidation was Cardo, Trudgen, and... Kylo.
Fuck.
Oblivious to the chaos that was going to ensure down below you, you stood in the storage closet, hand placed tightly on your gun.
You were going to kill Hux.
Shifting on your feet, you kept imagining Kylo's face in your mind, telling you that you could do it, that he wanted you to. It calmed you down as much as it devastated you. It was another reminder that Kylo had no idea you were doing this, he had no idea that you were in even town.
The sound of two quick knocks on the door broke you from your thoughts.
You were silent, waiting to hear who it was.
"Hi." You were able to make out a nervous chuckle, "It's Armitage...Um, Armitage Hux?" His voice rang out, muffled from the door between the two of you.
Taking a deep breath, you quietly moved to the door. You were aware of the fact that when you opened the door and let him inside, there was no turning back.
With this in the back of your mind, you unlocked the door and hid behind it.
Hux frowned as he looked around the closet, stepping inside. "Hello?" He called out, assuming that maybe the girls were hiding in the back portion of the room that wasn't visible to him right now.
You watched him walk inside of the room, quickly shutting the door behind him and locking it up, standing in front of it, moving quickly and efficiently.
Hux's head snapped around to the source of the noise, color draining from his face when he saw that it was you in here with him, your gun pointed directly on him and blocking him from exiting.
He said your name in disbelief, blinking, gears turning in his mind.
"Hands up." You told him, not wavering in the way that you were holding your gun. It reminded you of what you'd done on the plane with Vicrul, merely hours ago. But it was so different now. With Vicrul it had just been a threat, with Hux, this was a promise.
Hux's hands slowly moved up beside his head, in defense. "I-I thought that..." He trailed off. He thought that you were dead.
"That I died?" You asked, cutting him off. "That those men Snoke sent to kidnap me, killed me?" You clarified, reminding him of how he had betrayed you.
Hux didn't respond, not wanting to admit his guilt, even if you were already aware that he was partly responsible due to his new alliance with Snoke.
All the hesitance you felt earlier left your body as you stared at the dumbfounded look on his face. It angered you that he thought he had gotten away with it and worse, he was out celebrating the fact that you died.
"Hm. Well," You shrugged, unable to stop the slow smirk that was making its way onto your face. "Surprise."