Do you know what missing someone is? Do you know what the value of someone who always annoy you every single day, makes you irritated all the time, yet you wish them never leave?
I, officially dating Zoey now, after Lan Wangji never comes to visit me again for more than a week. I don't know where he is now. Maybe he went back to Chanonei 81 again, the place where I can't go to. Not the second time to be a trespasser.
I have Zoey now, which makes He Peng more furious at me now. He more often to pick a fight on me. I got beaten up a few times by him and his gang. But that is not the problem. I feel lonely when I'm having Zoey as my girlfriend. I often chit chat with her, talk on the phone, go for lunch and once I had dinner with her on our first date. Still, I feel lonely.
I miss Lan Wangji.
Every night if there is no rain, I always let the window open, in the hope he will come anytime, wakes me up and start to blathering about what he has gone through in the day or in his past.
Today I'm going to the library to find the material for my project. I walk on the pavement alone. Zhuo Cheng doesn't come with me. I don't know what he is doing now. Maybe stalking Hai Kuan's twitter and spying his closeness with his junior.
I walk pass by the outdoor basketball field. There is one three guys playing the basketball. While I'm walking, I eyeing those students. I bet they're freshman. Their faces are unfamiliar. The blonde hair boy dribbling the ball and makes a strike, passing his friend and dodging the ball before he jumps and slam the ball down the basket. I smile.
Why on earth am Ismiling? Well... Because the boy is the imitate of Lan Wangji. At least that can kill the missing feeling I have for Lan Wangji. Same features, same cold gaze and quiet. Scratch that. The quietness is not the same as Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji is the most talkative emperor I've ever found.
Without I realize, I'm already standing at the way of the wire cage. I mean, the basketball field that surrounding by the wire walls. I look at the rough orange color ball that rolling to my feet. I crouch down and grab the ball. I see a pair of fair and smooth legs walk up toward me. I look at those legs. I pick up the ball and stand up again. A cold gaze glares at me. I smile at him. He doesn't smile. Not even a slight. I give the ball to him. Without saying anything, he snatch the ball from my hand. I pout. I swear, I see a very very very thin smile forming on his lips. I swear! i tell the truth!
"I'm Xiao Zhan. The third year student. You? What is your name?" I ask him.
He send me a death glare. I taken aback. How can there is a person with such attitude? And I'm hus senior here. A second ago I saw him smiling even it wasn't obvious, and a second later he glares at me as if he wants to skin me alive?
"Yibo! What takes you so long there?" one of hs friends shouts at him.
He turns to look at his friend. Then he dribbles the ball and runs toward the other two guys, leaving me who pouting because I don't get the answer from my question.
He seems to not paying attention on me anymore even I stand there watching him... I mean, them playing basketball. So, I'm back to my first plan to go to the library.
"Yibo! Get your attention to the game!" I hear one of them shouting again, but I don't turn to them.
So, his name is Yibo.
He looks exactly like Lan Wangji out of his shorter blonde hair and the way he dress up. If Lan Wangji is gone for a long time before I met thus Yibo guy, I must believe that he is reincarnated to this boy. But I still met him when I saw this boy.
"Aw, Zhan Ge! You also come to the library....!" A soft voice comes from the left side of me.
I turn to the voice. It's Zoey.
Honestly, I don't feel want to meet and talk to her right now. Yes, she was a girl that I had a crush on really hard,.and now she's officially my girlfriend. But, with Lan Wangji bugging me in the head, I just want to be alone and dip all my soul into the books I'm gonna read.
"Zoey...." I give her a faint smile.
Zoey smiles. She snuck her hand around mine.
"Zoey, I'm going there first, ok?" Her friend excused herself.
"Ah! Ya. Ok, ok?" Zoey replies to her.
Her friend goes inside the library first
"Why don't you go with her?" I ask her, pointing her friend with my chin.
"Hmm... I don't need to....!" She says with a little whine.
"You need to look for the books your subjects need to, right?" I sigh.
"You are here. How can I just leave you?" She says
I crease my brows, like.... Is she for real? She came to the library to study not to flirt, right? Our faculties are different, and of course the subjects we are studying on also different which means we will take the different row of the book shelves.
"Zoey.... I don't have time to chit chat with you. I need to study. I'm here to find the materials for my upcoming project. So, I have to focus on it...!" I explain to her slowly.
"I can accompany you to find the books you need!" She's insisted.
I take a deep breath.
"Zoey, we study the different knowledge and my level is higher than you. Would you understand?"
"I can learn! I'm smart!" She cries.
I gush and shake my head. I undo her hand around my arm. I notice she's pouting. Sje looks so cute. But I'm not here to tease her.
"You better go with your friend. I can't teach you now. I have to focus on my project. Ok?" I try to get rid of her softly.
She pouts. I caress her cheek so she won't upset and does what I told her.
"Fine, then. But tonight I want you to go for dinner with me!" She says.
"Zoey...." I frown.
"I don't accept "No" for my invitation...!" She cuts off my words as if she knows my refusal.
I sigh.
"See how....!" I reply to her.
She smiles. Then she gives me a kiss on my cheek. She waves her hand then goes inside the library, catching up with her friend who went in earlier.
I take another deep breath. At least I feel relief that she stops tagging me. She's so clingy. I never think that she'll be so clingy like this since she has a lot of friends and campus activities. Who knows she will keeps dragging me a long to the occasions she wants to attend to.
I walk into the library to the shelves which providing the materials I need for my project.
I walk between the tall shelves holding variant books, thin and thick, small and big. I collect some books that I need. I stack them on my other arm and I still try to find another book. I look up to the upper shelf and I see the book that I want. With my height, I'm sure I still can reach it by tiptoeing.
Oops! Not with a stack of books on my other hand. I need to hold on the shelf to reach the book on the upper shelf.
"Aish...!" I hiss. I look around. The tables are quite far from these shelves.
I try one more time to get the book.
"Need help, Xian Gege?" A voice startled me. I drop the books on my hand.
The voice is quite familiar to me. Well, begins to familiar. I feel my cheeks heated up. I know, I'm blushing. I don't know why I'm blushing, though.
I turn to the side where the voice comes from, and my breath stuck in my throat. I can't breath. I feel it's chocked me. My face is heated up, a flash of pain stings on my nostrils, and I feel the warm water welling up on the brick of my eyes. I see Lan Wangji standing before my eyes.
"I miss you...." He says.
I curved my lips downward. I don't know why I'm crying. But this cry is not sad or scared. I feel happy to see him.
"I know you miss me, too.... That's why I come to you...." He says again. He wipes a single tear that gliding on my cheek.
"Who says I miss you? You're so full of yourself! I retort and look away.
My gaze drops on the books scattered on the floor. I bend and start to collect them. I see Lan Wangji sits on the floor. I glance at him. He extended his hand and holding out a book. The book that I want to take down.
I take the book and mumble a "thanks" to him.
"Just sit here and read your books here. The tables are packed...!" Lan Wangji says and pulls my hand when I tend to stand again.
I look at him. He smiles and nod. I feel soft by seeing his smile. So I follow his instruction. I sit on the floor in front of him, putting the stack of books on the floor.
I start to open the book and read it to get the subject that I need. I take my note book and write the subjects on the book. Lan Wangji sitting in front of me with eyes never leave me. The soft smile featured on his face, and it makes my face heated up. But I try to ignore it by engrossed myself in the books. He doesn't disturb me or talkative as usual. Maybe he knows that I need to focus on my study. That's good.
After two hours, I finished copy the material that I need from several of the books.
"I'm going to borrow these two books so I can study them at home...." I mutter, packing my bag.
"Are you going home?" Lan Wangji asks, getting up as I also get up.
"Yeah. It's evening already. I feel hungry...!" I reply.
"I'll walk you home!" He says.
I glance at him and smile. I nod. He smiles excitedly.
We walk side by side along the shelves.
"Where were you all this time?" I ask him.
"I'm here!" He replies.
"Here?" I look at him, confused.
"Yes. Here!" He says.
"In the library?" I ask him again.
"Yes!" He smiles.
"Oh...." I mumble.
So, he never went far. He's still around me, only I can't see him. He didn't show him up. It the third time I came to the library since he's gone. I never seen him before, but now.
"I thought you go back to Chanonei...." I mumble.
"Go back there? No way! I have been trapped there for a century, do you think I will go back there?" He cries.
"Sshh.... Don't too loud. It's library...!" I whisper the shout.
"They can't hear me, ma? But they heard you!" Lan Wangji says. He pointing at the direction with his chin.
I turn to the students who looking at me with a dirty look. I try to ignore them and act casually and walk again. Beside me, Lan Wangji snorts.
"Asshole...." I curse him between my clenched teeth.
We reach the entrance.
"Ah! What a coincidence....!"
At the doorway I meet Zoey again. I sigh slightly. I forgot that she invited me for dinner together. I glance at Lan Wangji through the corner of my eye. I notice he is unhappy seeing Zoey's appearance.
"Let's go! It's dinner time already!" She says, grabbing my hand and drag me out.
I can't refuse her even though I don't want to follow her. I turn to the entrance where I see Lan Wangji looking at me with gloomy eyes, one hand hangs beside his body and another one behind his back.