"So what are you going to do?" Sonny drummed the blunt tips of his fingers against the table with force. Jase continued his attentive investigation of a spider's web spun against the window in front of him, watching the tiny ribbons of silk shimmer in the setting sun. He had waited deliberately, stretching out the day to extend Paige's exhaustion and- though he wasn't proud of it, to delay the inevitable.
"I'm going to make sure it is authentic," Jase growled quietly.
"She has to fear you," Sonny stated, knowing Jase could and would do the job, and also knowing he would never forgive himself for it.
"Yes," Jase closed his eyes briefly, the two hours rest he'd managed over the last thirty something hours starting to catch up with him.
"Can you do it?" Sonny finally asked.
"Either I do it properly, scare the shit out of her, hurt her... or they'll come for her. You know what those guys are like, they love it. They'll get a real kick out of her. It's better this way," Jase said vacantly, his voice a soft echo.
"Good. You heard the SAS are out? A matter of hours."
"I did. 2300," Jase glanced at his watch, only three hours to go.
"That's why you're stalling?"
"As soon as they leave I'm her only hope. She still thinks Anthony and Robert can protect her, when they're out of the way it should make things easier."
"How are you going to do it?" Sonny dry swallowed, not realising all moisture from his mouth had suddenly evaporated.
Jase was quiet for a long time, the silence prickling at the back of his neck in anticipation.
"Hyocine Pentothal," he replied eventually. Sonny began to formulate his protest and opened his mouth in response, but he couldn't argue his case. Jase glared at his right hand man, daring him to contest the decision. "You know she still isn't in a fit state for the standard techniques. They're for long game, for one. And she's already been exposed to most of them, she may be desensitised or overly sensitised and it'll render her useless. Plus HP is the safest method, strictly speaking."
Sonny nodded slowly, sliding his tongue over the front of his teeth as he often did when he was deep in conflicted thought.
"Ok," was all he could offer in response.
*
Ant adjusted the dial on his radio to halt the wailing frequency noise, turning it three notches until the signal resumed again. Three hours, that was all that remained.
"-receiving?" The radio crackled.
"Receiving JHQ," Ant responded impatiently.
"This is a secure transmission Alpha1, over."
"We are T-3 hours, what is our position with our national? Over,"
"You have a direct order to stand down," the radio crackled as Ant felt dread wash over him. "I'm sorry Alpha1." Ant wanted to hurtle the black box across the ground, but what would be the point? "Alpha1 do you copy?"
"Copy, roger that."
Stand down. How could he do that? Ant glanced Rob's outline heading for the door, no doubt to find him and figure out their next move. He finished his hurried conversation and switched his receiver to a different frequency by the time his second in command reached him.
"We don't have long," Rob muttered, frowning as the sun set across the horizon.
"Tell the others to be RTM in one hour," Ant watched the dusky sky too, wondering how it was the same one he looked up to when he was home.
"Are we still on AFI?"
"No," Ant looked down to the dirt, tracing his eyes over the outline of his boot print. "Direct order to stand down."
"So that's it? They want us to jack it in?" Rob could hardly believe his ears. Leave their own behind, as a prisoner... it was ridiculous.
"I'm staying here," Ant said quietly.
"You're wh- ok, I'll stay too." Rob objected and conceded within a matter of seconds, knowing once Ant had made up his mind there was no use in contesting him.
"No, go back and see your kid. It's only to make sure the Americans are playing by the rules. I can't prevent anything," Ant parried dejectedly.
"Ant I-"
"The others- ready to move, one hour," Ant repeated, ignoring Rob's astonished expression and storming back into the compound. He pounded his boots through the dirt until he found Jase, alone and looking infuriatingly unbothered as he washed his face in the grimy sink.
"Can I help you?" Jase raised a dampened eyebrow.
"The others are moving out," Ant declared. "They'll leave for the HLS in fifty six minutes".
"The others?" Jase gazed at Ant quizzically.
"I'm not going anywhere. I have special permission to stay to protect our interests."
"I'm sure you're very interested in her," Jase couldn't resist the jab as he took advantage of Ant's defensive stance. "But see... the CIA is also interested in her. If you stay you'll only be jeopardising her safety."
Ant pushed the door closed and with a deft movement swung to seize Jase by the front of his t-shirt.
"You want to talk to me about jeopardising her safety? Is this what you've been doing- waiting until we leave so you can do whatever the fuck you want with her? I've heard a lot about you yanks but I didn't think it extended into the elites too, so what, you like to play with your captives? Is that what you get a kick out of? And you think I'll walk away and leave you to it? I'm sorry to disappoint you," Ant released the fabric from his grip and eyed Jase with disgust.
"You're not seeing the bigger picture Anthony," Jase relaxed his large frame against the tiled wall beside him.
"Yeah? Why don't you enlighten me?" Ant levelled. Jase hesitated for a moment, but he'd known for a long time that this showdown was a possibility. And if the time came, he knew he had to be truthful with Ant.
"If the CIA get her she's dead. I have a little over a day to interrogate her, send them the footage and make sure they're satisfied enough with the job I've done to prevent them from coming out here themselves. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Jase fought back the urge to yawn, he was so exhausted. Explaining his reasonings again and again, whether it was in his own head to himself, or out loud to others, was getting very tiresome.
"You think they'd kill her?" Ant frowned.
"Not until they'd finished with her," Jase let all possible meanings to his statement hang in the space between them, watching Ant slowly digest them. "If I do it right, she walks. If I leave any room for question or suspicion, she will suffer, slowly and calculatedly, and her ashes will settle on a dune in the Jordanian desert. Get in my way, prevent me from what I have to do, and you may as well put a bullet in her head now."
Ant was silent for a long time, not that it bothered Jase. In a way he was relieved to have the wall between them come crashing down, now the SAS point-man could hopefully understand him more.
"And I thought you didn't give a shit," Ant smirked and shook his head slightly in disbelief.
"I'm an asshole Anthony, but I'm not a sadist. I wanted to bury her involvement but the files got back to HQ before I could handle it. This is what's best for Paige, as sick as it is," Jase did his best to detach. It was sick, he felt sick. He'd seen what HP did to a man, he'd had a very low dose himself and even that had felt nearly unbearable.
Ant nodded, knowing there was nothing else to be done. "I'm still going to stay," he said in a last show of defiance.
"Ok," Jase replied, knowing full well there was no point in forcing him to leave. Besides, he might be a welcome comfort to Paige after it was all handled. "There's one more thing we'll have to take care of..."
*
I stared at the adjacent wall, wondering what was behind it. Not because it held any particular interest, but just to imagine a change of scenery. My neck was sore from my half sleep, bolt upright in the corner of the room. I'd gotten bored of the chair, my coccyx were painful and my legs were restless. I'd had some ridiculous thoughts over the last few hours comparing my current imprisonment to the captivity at al-Raheem's hands. At least then I was out of it. At least then I was focused on the pain and not in my own head. At least then I lost myself and no longer cared. This was so different. Every excruciating minute passed and I wondered who I could trust. Would my own country still be behind me? Did they even care about getting me out? Would Ant interrogate me? Could I even trust him? If I died here would they bring my body back? Of course they wouldn't. They'd burn it and all evidence alongside it. They'd tell the world you died in Syria at the hands of terrorists. So I sat, and I waited, and the longer I waited the more anxious I felt myself become until I began picking at the scabs on my wrists and neck and watching tiny snakes of blood seep down my skin.
By the time I heard footsteps halt outside the door I was wide eyed with near crazed desperation. I needed to pee but I couldn't face the degradation of using the bucket provided again. Looking at it made me want to cry.
Ant hovered in the doorway for a moment, allowing tiny slither of light to slip in.
"Where's the lights?" He asked an unknown figure posted outside.
I covered my eyes in anticipation of burning halogens, but only a pathetic attempt at illumination came from the ceiling, casting a single glaring circle directly next to the bucket.
"Paige, I have to tell you something," Ant was never one to shy away from eye contact, but his fierce blue gaze hit me with uneasiness. "UK forces have been advised to stand down whilst the US conduct their investigation. The SAS are leaving now. I have permission to stay here for as long as you are."
I tried to force the words into my brain for comprehension, I repeated them in my head. Leaving. They are leaving. I willed Ant to leave. With every force in my body I kept my emotions choked down, sleep deprivation and exhaustion rendering that a near impossible task. I fought back a gasp as I realised I'd picked a particularly resistant scab, dark red blood oozed out until I pressed my other hand against it.
"Can I be alone please?" I whispered hoarsely. "Will he come soon?" I looked up at Ant from the floor fearfully. Somebody let me out of this room.
"As long as you tell them everything you know, it will all be over very soon," Ant promised, trying to smile reassuringly before softly closing the door behind him. It will all be over very soon. There were only two possible avenues to that now; interrogation or death. At this point I didn't know what to think... Ant would remain here, but was it to protect me, or was he here to help the Americans? The instability of that question rocked me to my core.
I couldn't trust anybody. I was alone. Jas was dead. Nobody knew where I was. My government were keeping it quiet. One of the most elite and powerful military forces wanted to kill me. And nobody, nobody would ever know the truth.