We are planning a a party for my mom.
It's her birthday today.
We originally plan a small party but with Sarah being in charge, what we intended for a small party became big.. more so, a grand party.
"This is not what I had in mind when you said small party you know.." I said to Sarah.
She chuckle after I said that.
She was almost finished setting up the venue for the party tonight.
My mom was still busy in the salon and getting pampered for this day.
"Well it's your mom.. it has to be special." Sarah mention looking excited for the party later.
"A small party can also be special." I argued.
"Can you please be on board with me. I don't want to stress myself arguing with you." She said while blinking her eyes and putting her hands together 🙏
I think she is already aware of my weakness.
She hug me tightly after I stop complaining.
I finally smiled after receiving a hug.
She pulled away to look at me.
"Wait, I thought Tyler will come to help us?" She asked.
I look around and to be honest, I don't know what else Tyler can contribute when everything is already set.
"I mean.. do you even still need help?" I asked while pointing out how everything is already finished.
"Well, that's just an excuse to hangout." Sarah mentioned.
I frowned.
Those two have been hanging out a lot. Sometimes, I'm not even invited.
Well mostly due to having some prior commitments or some commercial or hotel project which is why I couldn't join them.
"Are you already sick of me?" That's why you're looking for Tyler right now?" I asked.
She look at me ridiculously.
"Don't tell me you're jealous." She teased.
"Of course not.." I quickly denied it.
She giggle softly and playfully pushed me back.
"You're still my best friend don't worry." She said casually while grinning at me.
I shook my head and smile at how silly she can be.
Tyler arrive with his boyfriend Lucas.
"Hello girls! Am here and ready to help." He annouce quite loudly.
He roamed his eyes around and exchanged looks with Lucas and wonder why he was even call for help.
"Wow.. so this is what we call small party?" He said with a little friendly sarcasm.
"See I told you!" I argued again.
"C'mon guys! We all know this is better. Please raise your hands with me." She said proudly.
Lucas raise his one hand while looking amazed and amused at the same time.
Tyler raise his hand as well.
"You know I love parties Sarah, so yes!" He also agreed.
Now suddenly, I'm the third wheel of this friendship.
"Right.. right.." I said while massaging my temple as I shook my head.
Sarah eyed my hand and waited for me to do something and raise my hand.
So I did.
She had a satisfied grin after that.
We all had lunch together.
Sarah sat next to me while Lucas and Tyler across us.
"Are you bringing any date tonight Sarah?" Tyler asked curiously.
I raised my one eyebrow. I think Tyler has a different plan of his own.
"Not really. Why?" Sarah replied.
Tyler and Lucas exchanged looks again.
I swear those two always communicate with their eyes without actually talking.
"Well maybe you might want to consider Lucas friend?" Tyler asked with an excited tone.
"Yes, he is very much single like you. Tall, dark and handsome.. Want to give it a try?" Lucas said while showing a photo of him.
Sarah and I both lean in to get a better look of the guy.
"He's not even her type!" I scoffed.
All of them gave me a sort of look. They totally didn't expect me to strongly disagree.
"Oh yeah?" Sarah smirked at me.
I just realize how weird I was getting.
"Oh well.." I trailed off.
Tyler raised his eyebrow at me.
"Yes Via.. want to share something to us?" He challenged.
I place my hand under my lap.
"What's my type Via?" Sarah asked with a playful tone.
I turn my attention to Tyler then Lucas, then finally stop at Sarah's.
"You like blonde, less muscular and... just well, skinny I think." I replied getting ashamed of myself.
"Like Oli?" Sarah asked.
I turn away and met Tyler's gaze instead.
"Or someone else.." Tyler interrupted.
I took my glass of water and drink it.
"Too bad, he has a huge crush on you." Lucas said breaking the tension.
Tyler was still giving me this looks. Very weird one if you asked me.
Sarah shook her head.
"I'm very flattered.. but not tonight."
I felt relief from Sarah's answer.
She took my one hand and place it above the table and she let her hand rest above mine.
Now I'm getting a little anxious.
"Since Ivan isn't here.. I'm taking his place and be my bestfriend's date for tonight.. at least." She said softly.
She didn't have any other meaning behind it but why? Why am I getting this feeling again?
"How sweet.." Lucas said adoring us.
Tyler didn't say a word.
His expression is making this more awkward.
I snatch my hand away.
"Um.. Sarah, it's okay if you want to bring a date. Don't worry about me." I replied smiling hesitantly.
We continue eating while Lucas and Sarah chat on our table.
After we finished our lunch, Sarah went back to her office. Lucas also had somewhere to go. I invited Tyler to my room.
"Want to explain that to me?" Tyler asked seriously.
I pretend not knowing what he was referring to.
"Oh don't dare play stupid right now. We both know your history with her. I even warned you." He said.
I nodded.
"So? Nothing has changed. What is there to explain?" I replied quite with a sassy tone.
His eyes soften and walked closer to me.
"I don't want you to get hurt. Not again.. Are you sure your feelings for her are still platonic? There's nothing wrong with putting some boundaries. I know Sarah can sometimes cross the line and still be oblivious about it. She's very affectionate and sweet. I've seen that first hand. If I wasn't totally gay, I might be questioning myself too." He explained while looking worried for me.
I kinda laughed at his last sentence.
"Oh Ty.. you really are going soft on Sarah now." I joked.
He slap my shoulder playfully.
"I'm serious you know.. don't make a joke about this." He said smiling.
"I have a boyfriend Ty.." I reminded him.
"That doesn't answer my question." He said to me instead.
"Well I thought it was obvious that I won't entertain any weird and crazy thoughts like that. Sarah and I are platonic. Nothing more.. nothing less." I replied firmly.
He nodded his head and peck my forehead once.
I pushed him off.
He laughed.
"You're like a sister to me Olivia.. c'mon." He said.
We both laughed.
He smiled warmly at me and gave me another serious talk.
"Remember, we are still talking about Sarah. She's not just your bestfriend. She was also your first love. I want you to be careful because I care about you.. a lot." He said lastly before completely dropping the subject.
A few hours later,
I wear my dress for the party and done my make up.
I was checking for some jewelry to match my dress when I saw my old jewelry box again which contain my friendship necklace and promise ring inside.
I open it and remembered Tyler's words from earlier.
Was my feelings changing?
I know I've been spending a lot of time with her but..
But is there a specific reason to worry?
I know to myself that I love Ivan.
I turn my attention to my phone and admire my wallpaper with me and Ivan with it. We were hugging each other.
I return the box inside the drawer.
I curled my hair and wear my shoes.
I was about to leave when Sarah ring my front door.
"Hey, wow.. You look gorgeous." She complimented me.
Some how I'm feeling more guarded tonight.
"What brings you here Sarah?" I asked instead.
She look at me weirdly but then shrug it off and smile.
"Can I get inside? I want to borrow your lipstick." She replied.
I move on the side as she enters.
"Really for a lipstick?" I asked in disbelief with a rather unamused tone.
She raised her eyebrows at me.
"Are you in a bad mood or something? You're acting a little weird." She finally said.
I shook my head.
Maybe I'm getting a little too on edge..
"You can go in my room and get any lipstick." I replied casually.
I followed behind her.
She looked around but still haven't found one to her liking.
She started going for my drawers.
I realize that the one with my old jewelry box was still mostly open.
I immediately rush to my drawer and closed it.
She gave me another suspicious look.
I quickly made up an excuse.
"There's nothing here." I replied.
"You are really acting weird." She mentioned again.
I force a smile.
"I.. I'm just.. I just miss Ivan." I said.
She gave me a concern looked.
"Okay, I get it.. I know you want him here with you.. but while he's not here. I can keep you company. You can still have fun with us." She replied while caressing my arm.
I flinch from her touch.
"Are you okay?" She asked getting a lot more worried now.
Tyler's words are getting to me. Not in a good way.
I nodded and apologize.
"Yes, sorry.. I'm just not feeling too good tonight. But I'm fine." I replied.
She place the back of her palm on my forehead to check my temperature.
I quickly held her hand to make her stop then let it fall on her side.
"Seriously, I'm fine. Found a lipstick yet?" I replied trying to break the growing awkwardness.
She took one bottle.
"Yes.."
After applying the lipstick, we both got ready. She held my hand as we walked outside to the party.
A part of me wants to pulled away from her but I knew she was already getting suspicious and I don't really like what was happening to me.
---
I walk towards Tyler and Lucas while Sarah was busy organizing everything. She was still busy talking with her staff.
I went inside with Lucas and Tyler. We greeted my mom and gave her our gifts. They both praised how good my mom looks tonight.
"Your gene is really bless with the most attractive features." Tyler mentioned.
Lucas laughed and agreed without a doubt.
"Thanks guys.. Let's find a table to sit." I said while guiding them to one of the tables.
"You look gorgeous." Tyler mentioned.
"You guys too.. Dashing and handsome." I said returning the compliment.
We all got ourselves a drink.
We also took some photos together.
I watch my mom entertain her friends on the party. She looks very happy so it made me happy for her.
I got a video call invitation from Oli.
I press the received call without hesitation.
"Hi Oli!" I greeted my twin.
"Hello V, I just want to greet mom happy birthday." He said smiling.
"Right sure.." I said.
We also got to chat for a little bit before I handed the phone to my mom.
He was still in Europe doing some business.
I saw how happy my mom got when Oli didn't forget her birthday.
We all had some nice family chat on the call.
After a few minutes, Sarah came to us and she and Oli also catch up together.
I came back on the table.
Lucas and Tyler started dancing. They also offered me to dance but I refuse.
I was approached by some of the guest and I gave them some autographs.
They also sat with me and started asking bunch of stuff. Mostly celebrity gossip stuff.
I should be used to it by now.
After a few more minutes, I saw Sarah walk towards my table. She extended her hand to me.
"Hey Via, I've been looking everywhere for you. Let's dance." She said.
Before I could even say anything, she already grab my hand and pull me out of my seat.
I reluctantly followed her.
Without releasing my hand, she held my other free hand and start dancing while swaying our hands together.
She pull me by the hand and lean closer to my ear.
"I just had to get you out of that table." She whisper.
"Are you still not feeling too good?" She asked again.
I pull away a little bit to look at her.
"I feel much better now." I replied while letting go of her hands.
"Let's go over there." I said while looking at where Tyler and Lucas were standing.
She followed me as I walked.
I didn't want to risk having another awkward encounter with Sarah so I made sure to dance with all three of them.
Tyler took my hand and slightly twirl me towards him.
I finally relaxed and forgot the growing tension inside me.
All four of us were enjoying the night as we dance.
Until Tyler and Lucas got tired and went back to our table.
I am yet again alone with Sarah on the dance floor.
"Maybe we should rest.." I suggested.
Sarah held my hand again.
"You look a little tense.. are you sure you're okay?" She asked worriedly.
"Just tired." I replied.
This is driving me crazy.
I don't know why I am acting weird today.
"Do you want to go back to your room? I'll tell your mom you're not feeling okay." She said softly.
I lightly press our hands together.
"I can still manage.. let's go back to our table." I replied smiling.
Nothing else happen the rest of that night.
___
Weeks after,
I've become a lot more self conscious everytime I am around Sarah. Which is almost everyday actually. I never put my guard down. Maybe I haven't notice it before but Tyler was right. Sometimes Sarah will get too clingy and affectionate and it's beyond normal. Well at least beyond most people's standard anyway.
It's always been like this even before.
She always made everything her business.
Always taking care of people close to her.
I mean that is why I fell in love with her at the first place.
I was preoccupied with my own thought when I felt Sarah's warm hands around my stomach. She was giving me a hug from behind me. I instantly jolted out away from her.
"What's wrong?" She asked looking confused as hell.
I quickly made an excuse.
"You scared me." I replied.
She sighed.
We are inside the shopping center.
"Is it just me or you've been acting weird recently?" She said quite suspicious of me.
"I'm not being weird Sarah." I replied.
"Are you sure?" She asked again.
I proceed to walk and ignore her question.
"Why did you bring me out here anyway? You know you could have called Tyler instead." I said changing the topic.
"He's busy today. You always seem to be in a bad mood." She pointed out.
"If I was in a bad mood I will not even be here." I replied.
"Fine.. you're coming with me to this college sorority reunion or whatever it's called party right?" She asked me again.
This isn't the first time she asked me nor the second.
"I already told you that I am not." I replied.
She held my arm to halt me from taking another step.
"No, you said you'll think about it." She clarified.
"Why do you even want me there? It's a university party from your old college.. not mine." I reasoned.
"Tori invited you too. Please, I don't want to go without you." She said with a pouty mouth.
I flicked her forehand.
"That's not going to work on me today."
She exclaimed from the slight pain.
"Ouch.." she yelp.
"You're being mean." She mentioned.
"Sorry.. that is still a no." I replied smiling.
"Ugh, I am going to be alone in that party. Tori was our sorority leader so I'm sure she will be busy entertaining everyone else while I stand in the corner and not recognize anyone." She explained frustratingly.
I chuckled.
"No, they are nice. Even if you don't recognize any of them.. They will not outcast you." I replied back.
"How would you know that?" She asked again.
"Because I've already met most of them." I replied casually.
She was a little surprised when I said that. I instantly regret ever mentioning it. Now she's a lot more determine to bring me to the party.
"Wow.. I don't know how that happen but I'm so glad you mention that. Now you're definitely coming with me to this party." She said while linking arms with me.
"Sarah.." I whined her name.
Getting dragged on my feet as she constantly repeat herself convincing me to go.
It was like that for a whole day.
"Fine.. so stop pestering me. I'll go with you. This will be the last favor. After this no more." I said trying to sound serious.
She rejoice and plaster on a big smile on her face.
I admit, she looks cute right now.
So later that night, Sarah and I went to her old university campus. A lot of memories coming back to me. I did spend my time here as well. When I was still pretending as Oli.
"I'm still not remembering anything." Sarah mentioned next to me.
"That's okay." I replied patting her shouder.
There's a lot of people from different houses. I think it's a party for all sororities and fraternities in the campus.
Sarah called Tori when we arrive their house. She came running to greet us when she saw our car approaching.
I could recognize some of the people who stood next to her.
They were all excited to see us.
"Oh my gosh! Hey guys! Long time no see." It was Lacey who came in front.
I got out of the car, Sarah followed behind me while holding my hand tightly.
"Hey Via! Wow.. can we have a picture together. I watch all your movies. Who would have thought that today you will be standing here as one of the famous movie stars." Monica quickly went to my side snapping a picture of us on her phone.
"Sarah, how have you been? We heard about your accident. I came to see you once but then after you went to Europe. It was hard to contact you. Only now do I know you and Tori remain in touch. Do you still recognize me?" Lacey asked.
Tori grab Sarah's other free hand.
"We can all continue this conversation inside. Sarah haven't recovered her memories yet actually." Tori said in her friendly authoritative voice.
"Oh gosh, I'm sorry to hear that." Monica mentioned softly.
Sarah smile politely.
"Not a lot of things have changed in the university though. Only we do I guess." Monica mentioned laughing.
"Yes, I mean look at me.. I'm already married." Lacey said showing her gorgeous ring to us.
Everyone congratulate her.
"Sorry I wasn't able to invite everyone." She said apologetically.
They all smile and didn't make it a big deal.
"Well, I still suck at serious relationship. I guess some old habits die hard." Monica said jokingly.
"I'm just so glad to see all of you again. My kappa chi sisters.." Tori mentioned a little teary eye.
"Yeah, you spend all your time and work in Europe. Might want to give us a tour some time?" Another member said.
Tori smiled and was pretty much excited with the idea.
"Sarah, I know you don't recognize me but we hang out a lot before." Lacey mentioned in a friendly voice.
"Wait Via, you are dating another actor now right?" Monica asked.
I nodded.
"So you and Tori?" She followed up a question.
Sarah was confused but she was also tuning in deep with curiousity.
Tori covered Monica's mouth and warn her not to bring it up.
"Ssh.. Don't make this awkward. She's happy now and so am I. We're good friends. Let's leave it at that." Tori explained.
Everyone still thinks that we dated before. Creating a little awkward tension in the room.
I went to the kitchen to get some water.
Sarah follow behind me.
"What were they talking about? You and Tori?" She asked curiously.
"Oh it's nothing important." I said dismissively.
"They seem to know you quite well." She mentioned.
"I used to hang out with them. A few times.." I explained briefly.
She nodded and didn't ask for more.
Tori gave us a tour in the house. She thought it might help Sarah remember some stuff.
They were explaining some stuff about Sarah while my eyes roamed around the place.
Then we stopped at her room.
Gosh, my mind is going on places I didn't want it to go.
I suddenly remembered my first intimate moment with Sarah.
In that very bed..
I shook my head and looked away.
Coming here was probably not a good idea.
I glance at Sarah who was very attentive to her sorority sisters stories about herself.
She mentioned about some small stuff in her dreams. Trying to confirm if it was really just one of her dreams or perhaps memories hidden inside her brain.
Most of us stayed in the living room after the tour.
Monica brought out all kinds of beer and alcohol for us to choose.
She also mention a lot about Oli.. about Sarah and Oli in specific.
Well mostly from the time I was still pretending as him. Not that I should blame her for her unreliable narrative.
What upset me mostly is that Sarah remembers some stuff from that particular past. Those dreams that she mentioned was sort of facts. The problem is, she mistakenly thinks that she was with my brother.. when it was me all along.
Even that necklace, she thought my brother gave it to her.
I mean I know they dated too but c'mon, those memories.. those precious memories were also mine. Why does it have to be like this? I wanted to correct her every time she mentions my brother's name. To tell her how wrong she is..
That was our memories together. I wanted to shout.
Not hers and Oli's..
I know if I did that I would only look like a fool in front of everyone.
So in the end, I did something more stupid.
I take all my frustrations on a bottle of beer.
I didn't want to hear anymore from Sarah or anyone.
I walked outside of the house and drank my beer in silence.
I don't think Sarah even notice that I was gone.
I was mentally cursing myself.
Should have known coming here was a mistake.
Since I also have a very low alcohol tolerance, It didn't take long for me to get drunk.
How much more pathetic can I get?
Oh right,
I heard Sarah's voice calling out for me.
"Via?? Where are you?! Via??" She was yelling while looking for me.
I stumble on my feet.. as I struggle to walk over to her direction.
"Over here." I said while trying to find balance on the tree.
She immediately run to my side.
"Are you drunk?" She asked confused.
"I think I might be.." I replied giggling.
She looked around the surrounding.
"This is bad. We can't let anyone see you like this. You're a drunken mess." She said while she took off her jacket and place it over me.
"Can you still walk?" She asked worriedly.
"Of course, I'm not disabled." I said laughing.
She took my arm and she lean her shoulder so she can support me.
"It's useless talking to you while you are this drunk." She mumbled mostly to herself.
I still hear everything though because we are standing so close to each other.
"Oh I'm useless?" I asked quite sarcastically while I let my hand fall on my side.
"That's not what I mean.. geez, how much have you drink? You're totally drunk." Her voice is mixed with annoyance and frustration.
That makes two of us.
She held my waist firmly.
"Why did you let yourself get drunk?" She asked again as she help me walked.
Again with this question?
"I just want to drink and forget too." I replied.
"Huh?"
I laughed again.
"You don't understand." I said while tracing my fingers on her nose.
"Because you're not making any sense right now." She said in a low voice.
I stare at her as she struggle to carry me.
"Please cooperate with me. We'll get out of here faster if you tried a little harder." She said seriously.
I was being stubborn and I can't control myself nor my emotions.
"Maybe if you try a little harder too.. you might remember things correctly." I countered.
She stop moving for a second.
"What is this about Via?" She asked.
Thankfully everyone is busy partying inside so I didn't have to worry about how stupid I was acting.
"It's not you and Oli.. it was us.." I said simply.
"Wha-?" She didn't finished what she had to say because I immediately went for her lips.
I shut her up with a kiss.
My hands find support on her shoulders. Her hands were completely wrap on my back.
I thought she would push me away but she didn't.
Instead, she kiss me back.
I was lost on our kiss not able to think of anything else.
I pushed her slowly, her back resting on the trunk of the tree as we kept going.
My hand travel from her shoulder to her neck and then up her face. I cupped her cheeks with my thumb and went deeper with the kiss. Our lips were moving in sync. Dancing and searching and exploring each other's mouth.
I pulled away to catch my breath but I caught her leaning in for another kiss.
She then open her eyes with the realization of what we did.
I panicked.
I didn't know how to explain what I did.
"I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry. I need go now." I said as I turn around not waiting for her response.
My voice was shaking.
I glance at her again.
She's still not moving. Her fingertips resting on her lips touching and tracing it with her hand.
I looked away and turn my head.
I actually feel more sober now after all that adrenaline.
Now I have another problem on my list.
I didn't even know how I can get out of this place since I didn't bring my own car.
I'm too afraid to confront Sarah after that make out session we had.
"Need a ride." Tori offered while she too was also outside of the house.
Oh my God! Did she saw the whole thing?
Now I'm sure coming here is definitely a bad idea.
I immediately got inside her car.
Neither one of us was talking.
She tap her stirring wheel with her thumb as she drove off to the road.
"Did you.. Did you see?" I asked reluctantly.
She hummed and focus her eyes on the road.
"Which part?" She asked casually.
I fell silent. I don't really know what to say. Do I even want this conversation right now?
"I'm kidding.. I saw everything. Don't worry.. my lips are sealed." She replied glancing at me.
She smiled warmly at me.
"I'm so drunk.." I said while resting my head on the window.
"I'm aware.. If you want to talk about it.. You don't need to hesitate. You know I won't judge you right?" Tori spoke softly.
I feel a little relief from her comforting words.
"You probably have a lot of questions.." I said.
My voice is already weak and tired.
"Not as much as Sarah.. I'm sure. By the way, don't worry.. I told the girls to keep an eye on her. She'll get back on the hotel safe. I promise." She replied with a giggle.
I covered my face with my hand feeling embarrassed for myself.
"I should die right now.. I don't know why I did that. I don't think I can face her tomorrow." I replied sounding hopeless.
"Do you still have feelings for her?" She asked curiously.
I didn't look back at her. I kept staring at the rear view mirror, outside.
"I don't know.. I just got so plastered tonight. I got upset when she was remembering stuff incorrectly. Mostly from the time I was still pretending as Oli, you know. I couldn't control myself and next thing I know... I was already grabbing her face and.." I didn't even have to finished.
"Yeah, I saw.. the kiss." She finished for me.
I took a deep breath.
"I'm the worst."
She shook her head.
"No, you're not. From the looks of it.. she has every strength to push you away but she didn't. She even kiss you back." She pointed out.
My face turn bright red when I had the memory playing in my mind again.
"Were you guys a thing before? Aside from when you were pretending? Did you have a relationship with her.. I mean romantically." She inquire gently.
Now it's my time to come clean to her.
"Sorry for prying.. you don't have to answer my question." She immediately retract.
I slight nodded.
"We did.. before, you know when I told you I was seeing someone romantically. It wasn't my co-worker Wade. It was Sarah." I replied.
She slightly open her mouth. "Ooh"
"So after the accident.. you two broke up?" She asked again.
I shook my head and turn my face to her.
"Before.. we broke up before the accident. I'm sorry I'm only mentioning this now. Our relationship was a secret. No one else know, just Tyler and me.. Well now you included." I replied.
"I understand why you're hurt. But Sarah doesn't have any memories. Both of you are important to me. You still owe her an explanation." She said softly.
"I can't tell her any of that." I said almost immediately.
She pat my shoulder with her free hand.
"It's in the past right? The kiss didn't mean anything?" She asked gently.
I slightly nodded.
I didn't even want to think of it being anything more than that.
"Then you got nothing to worry about." She replied while turning a curve to the parking lot of the hotel.
She help we walked until we reach to my room. She was holding my waist while I find support from her shoulders.
She gently hold me as I lay down on my bed.
She tuck the blanket above my body.
"Sorry for all the trouble Tori." I said apologetically.
She gave me a genuine smile.
"Why do I always find you in this kind of troubling situations?" She said jokingly.
She wasn't wrong about that.
I smiled back remembering just how she always helps me at times of my distress.
"I know.. You're my life saver." I replied.
She kiss my forehead.
"Good night Liv." She said lastly before walking away.
I watch her as she walked.
I don't know if I was hallucinating but I saw a figure of Sarah walking in. The two of them talking was the last thing I saw until my mind blackout completely.