JUNE 12TH
3:27 PM
I had never imagined life could get so crazy.
Between lessons three times a week(with upcoming extra lessons on Saturday and Sunday), dress fittings, trying to remember all the etiquette and dance steps that I had "learned"(or stress memorized it all of it so Capitola Mollory wouldn't give me so many looks of disappointment), life was just plain crazy.
Though I did love being round the girls here(Letty was especially hilarious to talk to and Delphine was super sweet to be around). They were all so much fun and I was really enjoying being a part of this group.
A part of me had been expecting to be eliminated with the last group of girls. But I was grateful to still be here.
"Hey, Rowan!"
I stopped walking and turned around, a smile growing as I realized who called me, "Hey, Beau."
His long legs caught him up to me and we fell into step with each other. Being around Beau was like that. Easy. Familiar. Normal.
"What's up?" I glanced up at him, wiggling my eyebrows at him.
He laughed at my expression, "I had a question for you."
"Oh?"
"Yeah." Beau grinned at me, "Would you be up for joining me to watch the sunrise tomorrow morning?"
I giggled and slipped my arm around the crook of his elbow, "I'd love that. What's the occasion? Second dates are starting up?"
Beau shook his head, "I just felt like spending sometime with you. And I've heard the rumors that that's how you spend your mornings."
I shrugged, "Guilty. I do love watching my sunrises."
"And that's all you do?" By golly, Beau was smirking at me.
I laughed, "I don't have to reveal all of my secrets just yet, sir. You'll have to find out tomorrow morning."
Beau didn't respond but a quick look up at his face told me that he was smiling.
I liked making Beau smile. He didn't smile enough and he looked even more handsome when smiling.
It was one of my favorite things to do. Make people smile, cheer them up. It was something so small but I knew that people often carried a lot.
I couldn't imagine carrying what Beau was and anytime I thought about it, I just became more determined to make him smile.
We continued walking. And for the life of me, I couldn't figure out where I was supposed to be going. And Beau didn't seem to be concerned with a destination.
And that was okay. It was nice to just walk. It reminded me of my favorite children's book illustration. The one of Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin walking through the Hundred Acre Wood.
It was a beautiful picture. I had tried many times to recreated it but it I never got it quite right. Maybe a part of me didn't want to recreate it. It could be the perfect scene and I was okay with that.
I had never felt like my art was super amazing. It was good but nothing like Ernest H. Shepard, the illustrator who did the Winnie the Pooh book. His work was beautiful.
"I guess I should get to my next meeting." Beau eventually spoke, taking me out of my musings.
I glanced up at him again, "I guess."
He smiled and then stopped walking. I pulled my arm away from his and watched him softly. He looked a little tired. This all had to be exhausting but he carried on so well.
He said something to me but I didn't hear his words. And when he turned away to leave, I reached out and grabbed his hand, "Beau?"
He shifts so he's facing me, "Yeah?"
"I don't know if someone has told you recently, and I don't know if this is weird coming from me," his face was open and kind, "But I believe in you. You're gonna be a great King."
His eyes softened, "Thanks, Rowan."
""It makes such a difference to have someone believe in you."" I quoted, my voice soft.
He squeezed my hand, "I'll see you tomorrow, Rowan."
"Tomorrow, Beau."
🌻 🖤 🌻 🖤 🌻 🖤 🌻
JUNE 13TH
5:24 AM
I was going to watch the sunrise with a sleepy teddy bear.
A tall, sweatshirt wearing, snack carrying, teddy bear.
I smiled as Beau rubbed his eyes again. I could barely see him in the dawn light. But I could tell he wasn't a morning person.
It was sweet that he was making this effort. We could have hung out some other time but he picked a time that I liked.
Reaching out, I grabbed his hand and held it as we walked through the garden.
He glanced down, "Whats this?"
"I appreciate that you are getting up early for me."
He chuckled, "It's not that big of a deal."
"But still." I shifted my bag, "It means a lot."
"I like spending time with you."
"And I like spending time with you." I answered enthusiastically. I was excited to watch the sunrise with him. I hadn't watched the sunrise with someone since Dad died.
It was kinda neat to me that Beau was the first person since Dad who will watch the sunrise with me.
Aelin has claimed that it is an ungodly hour to get up at and as much as she loves me, she's never watched the sunrise with me.
Other than her, there would be no one in my life that I would want to watch the day begin with.
But I'm glad Beau wants to do this with me.
He doesn't realize how much I appreciate it.
"The rock ahead is where I do all my work." I pointed with our hands, "I think we'll both fit on it."
Beau helped me up the rock and in turn, I tugged him up. Well, I may not have done anything to help but I think it's the thought that counts.
In my minds eye, I pictured a sketch of a fly trying to pull a caterpillar up a rock. It would be a cute story.
"And now what do you do?" Beau had planted himself on the very edge of the rock. He looked like he would fall off any given moment.
I laughed, "You can scoot over, if you want."
"Are you going to have enough room for your stuff?" The concern in his voice was comical.
I nodded, "This rock is definitely big enough for both of us to fit on it. I won't take up very much space."
He didn't move away from the edge until I sat down and had unpacked my paints and sun journal.
It was still a little dark by the time we got situated. Beau had pulled a couple of bagels out of his basket of snacks. I had laid my paints out and they were ready to use.
"Ladies first." Beau handed me a bagel with cream cheese on it. I took a big bite of it and gave a moan to show my appreciation for the breakfast food.
He chuckled, "I'm glad you like it."
"I don't usually have food when I do this." I mumbled, raising a hand to cover my full mouth, "So this is a treat."
Capitola Mollory would probably faint at my incredible lack of manners.
"Well, I'm glad I could supply it." Beau finished cream cheesing his bagel and took a bite of it. He didn't moan but I could forgive for that. A lifetime of manners was probably drilled into him.
The sun started to peek its head up as we chatted about our weeks.
"So how often do you do this?" Beau asked, looking over my shoulder as I stroked my brush against the page.
"I've done it pretty consistently while I've been here at the palace." Shrugging, I didn't look at him, "I picked it back up several months ago."
"What made you stop?"
His question was innocent but it still hurt to answer.
"My dad died."
He didn't answer.
I set my brush down, "We used to do it together. Get up early and paint the sunrise together. Yellow was his favorite color."
"I'm sorry."
I smiled, "Don't be. He'd be glad that I picked it back up again."
"Do you wear yellow for him?" Beau's voice was soft.
I glanced at him, trying to lighten the mood, "You noticed my trend?"
The corner of his lips turned up, "I did."
"Dad always called me his sunshine. And when I decided to start painting again, I also decided to only wear yellow. That way if he ever looked down at me, he'd see his sunshine." I turned my eyes back to the sunrise, "Plus, it's a super perky color. It's kinda like my pineapple."
A hand covered my own and I squeezed it.
"I think everyone has their own pineapples."
🌻 🖤 🌻 🖤 🌻 🖤 🌻
JUNE 19TH
5:04 PM
I think that I've made it my life goal to never disappoint Capitola Mollory.
As I took my seat, I tried my best to recall all of her rules and manners. Glancing at the table, for a split second, I felt confident that I could tell you which spoon was the soup spoon and which fork was for the chicken.
And then it was all gone.
It was like all of the past two weeks of training just totally went out the window.
Poof.
Gone.
I bit my lip and glanced up. The first set of eyes I run into were Princess Gena. I could read compassion dancing in them.
As the bread basket was finished being passed, and the soup was brought out, my eyes flew to the Princess. She slowly lifted a spoon off the table.
I glanced down at my own spoons and picked up the same one she did. Risking a second glance at her for confirmation, she nodded at me.
"Did you design your own dress?" I heard one of the ladies ask Ximena. I frowned, trying to recall her name. She had been introduced to me while I was standing with Alexandra but she hadn't really said much to me.
Lisa Evan-something? I think?
I didn't hear Ximena's answer as I watched Princess Gena slowly push her spoon in the bowl. I remembered that one. Push the spoon away from your dress. Don't want to spill on your gown.
And I definitely didn't want to spill on my gown. Maeve and I had wrestled with this dress and I would fear for my life if Maeve knew that I had spilled something on it.
My maid was actually quite terrifying.
But I did adore my yellow .
After the soup had been cleared, I glanced at Gena to make sure I picked up the right fork for the salad.
Which, why didn't we have meal training too? Like how to they expect me to eat soup, salad and an entree. Did they want to roll me into the ballroom?
I almost snorted at the dinner table at that thought.
But in order to save room for my entree, I picked at my salad and chatted with the girls around me.
Watching Princess Gena for the correct silverware and chatting with the girls around me made the dinner go by quickly. And soon we were walking through the door into the ballroom.
The ballroom was already almost filled with people. My stomach twisted at the amount of people. I thought maybe that just the people at the dinner would be at the ball.
I guess I was wrong.
We were all announced by Reyna. It was nice to see a friendly face. But I wasn't looking forward to seeing Connor.
As people from the dinner dispersed into the ballroom, I glanced around for some place to stand. I didn't really want to look super awkward while standing around.
And Capitola Mollory would give me more of her looks of disappointment if she caught me hiding somewhere.
Spotting a desert table, I made my way over there. Not that I was hungry, but I'd probably look normal if I stood over there.
Reaching the table, my eyes flew over the yummy treats all spread out. I laughed a little as I saw the pineapple cake. Beau's love for pineapple was probably pretty well known in the palace.
But it was cute. It made me think of our adventure a couple mornings ago. We had talked and Beau watched me paint. I told him stories of my Dad and Aelin and he told me stories of his family.
And at quarter after ten, we packed up and left the rock. Beau walked me to my room and dropped me off there.
"Thinking of happy things?"
I blinked, noticing Princess Gena for the first time, "Umm, yeah."
Gena grinned at me, "You were smiling and looked happy. That's why I asked."
I laughed, "Yeah. Was just thinking about a conversation Beau and I had a couple days ago. I thought about it because of the pineapple cake."
Gena giggled, "Beau does love his pineapple. I can stomach that love. But his love for fruitcake..."
I shook my head as she trailed off, "Of course, he'd be the one person in the world. But actually, I've never had it and only heard stories about it."
"You're not missing out." Gena promised.
"Good to know."
We stood silently for a moment, each watching the dancing. Then I glanced at her, "Thanks for the help at dinner."
"No problem." Gena waved at someone on the crowd, "It's always challenging the first time. I'm sure you'll do so much better next time."
I forced a smile at that comment. I had serious doubts about that. But at the same time, practice makes perfect. So maybe I could get the hang of this all.
"Ladies."
Gena and I glanced at Beau as he grabbed a plate of pineapple cake. Gena laughed at her brother and I giggled at the very large piece of cake.
He glanced down at it, "What? I promised Grandpa I'd get him a piece."
Gena raised her eyebrows, "A piece? That looks like half the cake. Are you sure it's for Grandpa?"
I grinned at him as he looked to me for help. He was on his own with this. I wasn't getting in between the siblings.
"I will definitely get my own piece. But I promise I'm getting this for Grandpa." Beau tried to stay serious as he spoke to Gena. But I could see the laughter dancing in his eyes.
Gena was about to reply(probably something super sassy) when a young man came up and hugged her. She let out an enthusiastic laugh and hugged him back.
Beau and I laughed with the pair. The young man looked about Gena's age and it was obvious that they at least knew each other.
Though it would be interesting if she didn't know him.
Beau stepped up to my side, "I've got to get this plate to Grandpa, I wasn't lying about that."
I shoved him playfully, "Mmm."
He laughed, "You didn't me finish."
"Well, go on then."
"I was going to say that after I deliver the cake," he motioned to the plate in his hand, "I'd like to dance with you."
I felt a flush creep up my neck, "You mean with everyone else? Where they can all see us?"
He chuckled, "That's usually where one dances."
"Do we have to dance there?" I laughed nervously, "I didn't do the greatest during our dancing lessons."
"You don't have to be the greatest, Rowan." Beau smiled at me, "I'll do all the leading. All you have to do is follow along."
It sounded so easy when he put it that way. But still. I wasn't ready.
"Ask me again in a little bit, would you?" I looked him in the eye, "There was a ton of food at dinner and I'm still really stuffed."
"I'll definitely ask again." Beau took a step away from me, "Don't hide anywhere, Rowan. I'll get you to dance with me at some point."
I smirked at him, "Darn it, you figured out my plan."
He chuckled and turned away from me. I watched him go, a smile on my face.
I would love to dance with him. It would probably be a lot of fun and I'd definitely enjoy being with Beau. But...
My eyes flew to the crowd and I could see a few of the other selected girls already dancing. Their dancing lessons paid off.
I just didn't want to come up short. If I danced with Beau, I knew I wouldn't be of good a dancer as the other girls. And I hated feeling like I was coming up short.
I wished Hugo was here to dance with. I'd like to dance a little bit tonight(so that Capitola Mollory didn't waste two weeks of training on me). And Hugo would be the ideal partner simply because he wasn't Beau. I couldn't really disappoint Hugo.
After watching the dancing for a while, my fingers itching for my paint brushes and paper, I decided to slip into the gardens for a little bit. I had overheard some people talking about the fairy lights that decorated the garden and it sounded too pretty to no see.
It was honestly magical to step into the gardens. The fairy lights were woven through the trees and bushes. They were stung up over heard. I felt like I was walking into a fairy garden. Maybe I'd grow wings and be able to fly.
I giggled and gave a little spin. My dress twirled and I closed my eyes. I felt like a character in a book, a commoner who somehow ended up in the palace and discovered a secret magical garden.
Still smiling, I slowed my spinning. I was getting a little dizzy and needed to sit down.
There was a couple other people in the garden and I ignored their looks. If a girl wanted to twirl in the garden, I think she was allowed to.
The music from the ballroom could be heard from the garden and it completed the atmosphere. I swayed to the music, content to sit and let my imagination run wild.
"May I interrupt?"
My eyes flew open and I saw Beau sitting on the bench next to me. He smiled at my expression but didn't say anything else.
"Hi." I spoke first, unsure of what to say.
"Hi." Beau replied.
I bit my lip and glanced around, "Umm, what's up?"
"If you were trying to hide, you should have gone a little deeper into the garden."
"I was planning on climbing a tree in a few minutes." I quipped.
"In that dress? Ro, you're dressed in yellow. I would have found you in.... Three minutes. Max." Beau teased.
"That's insulting. You doubt my hiding abilities." I fake pouted.
"I don't doubt your abilities. Just the color of your dress."
I laughed, "You are right. Yellow is not the best color to wear if you want to hide."
Beau offered me his hand, "I didn't want you to hide anyway."
I took it and allowed him to pull me to my feet. I couldn't very well reject him. I'd feel horrible. So I guess I was going to have to dance with him in front of everyone else.
He pulled me a few steps. I followed him, plastering a smile on my face.
"May I have this dance, my lady?" Beau stopped in the middle of the garden.
Wait what?
He grinned at me, "We've talked about this, Rowan. You aren't going to disappoint me with your dancing skills."
I frowned, "This you getting to know me thing is kinda annoying."
Beau chuckled and I stepped closer to him. He wrapped his other hand around my waist and in timing with the music, we started to dance.
To be completely fair to Beau, he didn't wince when I accidentally stepped on his feet the first couple times. But as the song went on, I relaxed and let Beau do all the leading.
"See, this isn't so bad." Beau spoke softly.
I rolled my eyes at him, "You might as well say "I told you so"."
"But that wouldn't be very nice." Beau smiled.
I grinned back at him. I was okay that he was right. This was a good thing to be right about.
"So how many pieces of that cake have you had tonight, your highness?" I asked, smirking at him.
"That's top secret information, my lady. I'm afraid that I can't share that with you."
"Did you at least leave some for me?"
All he did was grin at me.
My eyes widened, "You didn't."
He laughed, "In my defense, I wasn't the only person eating it."
"But it's gone?" I pouted.
"I'll make sure you get some next time." Beau squeezed my hand.
"I'll look forward to it."
We danced in silence for a while. Beau was an excellent dancer and he was right to be confident in his ability.
As we danced, I literally couldn't help but feel like even more like a fairytale character. I was dancing with a prince in a fairy lit garden.
"It's beautiful out here." I whispered, "Reminds me of a fairytale."
"It is pretty cool out here." Beau glanced around, "The staff did a great job decorating it."
"They did."
The music paused and Beau and I stopped dancing. I didn't pull away from him right away, not wanting to end the moment.
"Thank you for dancing with me, Rowan." Beau's voice was quiet, "I enjoyed it."
"Me too." I matched his tone, "Thanks for coming to find me."
"Anytime."