♡ 태꾹︴suddenly
내 사랑 . . . i cared even less ♡ *.ﾟ⋆
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all he could remember were the light giggles and pretty voices of a couple that would be perfect for each other. their voices danced in the air and flowed down the hall like a song, sneaking under his door and teasing him with ideas and fantasies of a life he'd never enjoy. it was such perfect picture, seeing them sitting there looking so perfect ⏤ two people looking good with each other, looking normal.
jungkook wished he could be normal. he wished he could just fit into the worlds puzzle and find something pretty with someone. that wasn't going to happen though, not when they were simply fantasies meant to remind him how wrong he was for being himself.
it was hard to ignore the two of them the day before. jungkook didnt like to ignore his sister. he actually liked his sister. they used to have a good time together, but that was before.
it was even harder to ignore him. jungkook would sit on his bed and try to read his book, work on some homework or try to think of literally anything else that wasn't the mans deep chuckle echoing in the quiet house. jungkook got ready for school the next day and tried to ignore the little swirl in his stomach and the voices in his mind yelling at him.
he wished he could be friends with taehyung. its been a while since anyone seemed to want to be his friend without caring what others would think. jungkook still felt sick to his stomach thinking about it, because all he could wonder is if the other male even knew.
"hey jungkook." yeji smiled at her best friend as she found him in the hallway at school. he was a small thing amongst the others in the crowd, nearly lost in the mess of voices and bodies passing in a blur. she thought he always stood out though, sometimes in the best ways. "i like your hoodie today, yellow is cute on you." she said.
jungkook looked down at the light yellow fabric and smiled small, "thank you."
"theres going to be a party after the game on friday." yeji said as the two of them walked, "we should go."
the idea of a party sent jungkooks stomach into a flurry of nerves and discontent. there wasnt a single part of him that wanted to go. "im busy." he said.
"youre not."
"i could be."
"okay sure." yeji moved on and reached up to tighten the high ponytail she was sporting today. "i could always do your makeup again." her voice was a whisper this time, nudging her friend to make sure he heard her over the obnoxious noises of the hallways around them.
jungkook heard of course, and it made his blood run cold and eyes shoot open even wider. he dared not to tell her to be quiet, only wishing to pretend like he never heard her say that out loud in public. all he could do was swallow hard and hope his rapid heart beat would slow down soon before the urge to vomit across the hall became too great. "i-i'll see you at lunch." he managed, clutching onto his book tighter and speeding up to get to homeroom.
he was one of the first students in the room, like usual. he quickly found his seat in the back, already having his book out and page marked where he had left off.
the teacher smiled when the boy entered, not expecting more than a quick wave from the ravenette. the late bell rang and more students came flooding in to find their seats before morning announcements would begin. "quiet down." mr. gwan told his students.
jungkook was staring down at the words printed nicely on the pages in front of him, but he still could tell when someone came and sat in front of him. it was the same person thats been sitting there since the first day, gym bag beside his seat and letterman jacket on his shoulders ⏤ the same person that now sits at his kitchen table some days and wears the same cologne that teased jungkooks senses once again.
"hey." taehyung said over his shoulder to the boy sitting quiet behind him.
jungkook didnt say anything, but he looked up with round eyes, and that was enough for the football players lips to twitch up into a slight smile.
"alright class pay attention." mr. gwan spoke up again to get control of his students. taehyung turned back around and started to mess with his pen, clicking it occasionally and not really paying attention to anything around him at the moment.
it was the same crackly voice coming through the speakers for the announcements.
"..and dont forget to come out to friday nights game to support our hawks! watch them soar against the bulls bring home a win for us.."
the mention of the game is what had taehyung tuning in again, grinning some more at the thought of hitting the field after a summer that felt too long. "and dont forget," one of the ballboys, sunoo, stood up, "the killer party that comes after, any girls that are free can hit me up and we-"
"alright sunoo." mr. gwan eyes the boy and he sat down just as quick as the cheers died down when their teacher spoke up once again.
the announcements ended and their lessons began, discussions of the readings that needed to be done for homework and confessions from those who didnt complete the chapters. it was expected, considering not many planned to read pages over the weekend.
jungkook sat in the back and listened. he knew he could speak up, but his hand stayed in his lap to play with a loose thread on the pale yellow hoodie he wore. he played with that thread for the rest of class, wrapping it around his index finger and watching the tip tint purple from the lack of circulation ⏤ just to loosen it to see the usual pale color come back.
taehyung didnt talk to him again, not turning around to say something short paired with a warm smile and kind eyes. he wouldnt do that when he was surrounded with more people he knew, jungkook knew he wasnt the only one that existed in taehyungs head. he also knew the football player would much rather talk to people more capable of being just as approachable and easy to talk to.
it wasnt too bad, not since jungkook could steal as many glances as the handsome male in front of him, knowing very well he could never get caught by someone who didnt notice him now.
"see you guys tomorrow, make sure to do the reading tonight and have your answers to todays discussion ready to be shared!" mr. gwan tried to make himself heard as the bell rang and everyone picked up their things to be the first ones out.
jungkook didnt hurry. he didnt feel like being knocked by elbows and nearly tripped on his way to the cafeteria.
"have a good day." he said to his teacher, the same as he did everyday being the last to leave.
it took two seconds for the ravenette to step into the hallway and have his best friend already smiling down at him. yeji wore her boots today, the small heel giving her an extra inch on him that she already had anyways. "how was class?" she asked her friend.
"it was okay." jungkook said.
yeji hummed, getting the same answer every time she asked. she didnt mind it though, the same thing meant nothing was different. it was change that had her worried, considering how difficult it was to notice those little changes.
the pair made their way to the cafeteria, one speaking more about the friday game and party to follow. jungkook listened and hummed when it was appropriate to show he was still paying attention. "i know chohee is talking to that one boy on the team, i think he's the halfback." yeji didnt seem sure about that, but it was hard to keep up when the team was full of attractive boys that all looked sweaty and muscular. jungkook could only tell the difference when they had their numbers on.
"oh shit i was right." yeji said once they walked into the cafeteria. jungkook saw where she was looking, or who she was looking at. "she's sitting at their table," she added, and then in a quiet mumble, "lucky."
jungkook rolled his eyes at that. "lets go eat." he held onto her sleeve gently to pull her along and make her stop staring at the table full of jocks and pretty girls. its like she was pretending she could go sit there and it wouldnt be weird.
the truth is, it wouldnt be. yeji was beautiful, and so talented and had every right to be whatever she wanted in that school. jungkook was just selfish, he didnt want to lose the one person he could eat lunch with.
"yeji!" it was chohee that yelled her name. it made jungkook flinch.
the ones sitting with her looked in the direction that she was waving at. yeji smiled and waved back, walking over to her teammate from the lacrosse team. "hey, whats up." she walked up like it wasnt a problem. like she wasnt feeling a swirl in her stomach and jelly in her knees that threatened to make her fall to the ground just at the thought of those people knowing she existed.
jungkook could not say the same. he wanted the ground to swallow him up.
sometimes he wondered if yeji forgot what happened ⏤ if she remembers why her best friend doesnt want to be noticed anymore by anyone.
"i love that skirt," chohee said once her friend was standing at the end of the table. "you should wear it to the party friday."
yeji blushed a little at the compliment, "i can show you where i got it." she smiled. "hey everyone." she said to the rest, her inner social butterfly coming out so easily. she didnt feel the small hand letting go of her sleeve.
jungkook stood slightly behind her and ripped the thread off his hoodie finally. he stared at the ground and hoped they could go sit at their own table soon.
"dont you ever get hot?"
the ravenette wasnt expecting the deep voice so close to him. taehyung walked right past him and whispered to him, tapping the small boys elbow through the thick hoodie fabric. he sat down at the empty seat on the end, right in front of the younger one. "n-no." jungkook managed.
taehyung just hummed and looked at the boy for a moment. it didnt go unnoticed by the football player how uncomfortable the boy seemed standing there, eyes down and shoulders tense. "it looks nice on you." taehyung added.
jungkook finally looked up, meeting warm eyes but remaining just as quiet as usual ⏤ but taehyung didnt mind, not as he saw the little one relax ever so slightly. he couldnt help but think the light pink looked nice with yellow.
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