DEAREST MAR ━━ marlene mckinn...

By chvsingdreams

13.9K 761 497

a series of letters from carina black to her deceased lover, marlene mckinnon MARLENE MCKINNON © 2021 chvsing... More

𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗥
oo. the beginning
ACT ONE
i. dark paradise
iii. wildest dreams
iv. grey wisp of memory
v. stains of dried tears
ACT TWO
vi. already dying inside
vii. all the things she said
viii. blue grey oceans
ix. they're all gone
x. im coming
EPILOGUE

ii. my winged angel

974 59 52
By chvsingdreams


TWO. MY WINGED ANGEL

( keep on dreaming, don't stop breathing
fight those demons )

MID AUGUST 1981

DEAREST MAR,

Do you remember when we first met? We were just eleven years old, in the warmth of the Hogwarts express when you'd entered my compartment along with Remus, sitting beside me. You had braces back then and had cringed when I asked you what the metal on your teeth was.

Remus had only chuckled, explaining it to me in detail, and then focusing his full attention onto Sirius. But you and I, we became instant friends. We bought most of the candy from the cart and had split it amongst each other.

And soon, James and Peter had entered the cart, infuriated by the lack of candy. Sirius and I offered them some along with extra seats on the compartment. The seven of us became the best of friends ever since.

I miss it, you know? The days where we thought that the entire world was a fairytale, being fascinated at the smallest of magical miracles produced right at our fingertips. You  a̶r̶e̶ were one of the people that always brought me out of my states of sadness, your goofy grin making my stomach flip over and your eyes lighting up with passion when you spoke to me about becoming a healer, something that you'd always aspired to do, even as a mere eleven year old.

You were the one who comforted both Sirius and me when we'd been sorted into Gryffindor, sneaking us into the kitchens in the middle of the night, your laughter filling the stone walls like Mozart's melodies.

But I truly knew you were special when you had quoted one of my favorite authors, Oscar Wilde, at the end of our first year itself. "She lives the poetry she cannot write." You said as we were boarding the train, giggling with the pride of your newfound knowledge.

Ever since then, literature had become our favorite. We would read every single Jane Austen, Charlotte Brontë, and Oscar Wilde book, our eyes lighting up as we underlined our favorite quotes. Remus would often join us, and Sirius would too, just because Remus was with us.

God, I miss our first year.

We were so clueless and so so innocent, our malleable minds not revealed to the havocs of death and devastation. Our souls fresh, gasping in awe at the slightest of feelings, living in the moment, cherishing each second. The first year was when you told me about your sexuality, which was a complete shock to me.

I remember sitting in the dormitory for hours, biting my lip in thought, time flying away like sand trickling down an hourglass, wondering if everything I had ever been taught was wrong. You'd embraced me tightly, making my cheeks heat up, asking if everything would be the same. I nodded hesitantly, your blue eyes sparking up with glimmer I was so fond of, and all was well.

Oh, when we were kids and the only problem in our lives were figuring ourselves out.

You were an angel sent to me, your wings being your words of comfort and your heart of gold, always making me chuckle with at least six sarcastic comments a day.

Why would the world be so cruel as to take you away from me? Everyone knows that without their guardian angel, one would be blindfolded in the Labyrinth, pushed upon the most terrifying moments of their lives without their vision.

But you were mine, Marlene.

I have been wounded by the cruciatus curse multiple times by my own parents yet losing you was worse than the spell that made me feel like a double-edged sword was slicing through my sensitive skin.

When we were together, I felt breathless.

Now, you are.

FOREVER AND
ALWAYS YOURS,
CARINA LYRA BLACK

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