Chiang Mai.
Perth rang the bell beside the huge double wooden door once before stepping backwards. He fixed his posture to a composed one but his throat swallowed nervously.
"Hello-" he said, pausing when he saw Miriam whom had opened the door.
"Mr. Tanapon," Miriam acknowledged him. "Please come in sir."
"Thank you," Perth said, nodding his head while smiling politely.
"I'll go get Phu for you, he's upstairs." Miriam said to him before she disappeared around a corner.
"Sure" Perth muttered to no one. He stared at a bouquet of pink carnations in his hand, sighing quietly. He wanted to apologize to Saint for being a jerk to him the other day. He realized that he was the one who provoked Saint first and being impolite to him. He wanted to apologize and asked him to go out together with them, not that Perth thought Saint would want to since the incident.
"Daddy!"
Perth lifted his head and smiling brightly at his son who was running full speed towards him with worried Miriam trailing behind him while holding a small Superman backpack.
"Woah, easy there!" Perth gasped after catching Phu who crashed into his arms. "Don't wanna get hurt, okay?" Perth said to his son after lifting him up, perching the grinning boy against his hip.
"Daddy! You're finally here." Phu cheered bouncing happily on Perth's hip.
"Yes, I'm here." Perth said, smiling fondly at him. He stared at his only child, from his hair to his eyes, a few traits inherited from him. Perth sighed happily.
"Can we go now?" Phu asked cutely.
"Sure. But before that, were's mummy?" Perth asked him. "I need to give something to him."
"Head pain." Phu exclaimed, frowning cutely while putting his palms against his small head. "And mummy sleep back after kissy me and say goodbye," he exclaimed. "And told me not to be trouble for Daddy," he muttered the last part.
Perth frowned at that, didn't like to hear Saint got sick.
Miriam who was standing not far from them noticed Perth's expression before saying politely. "Mr. Suppapong is not feeling well, so he's taking a nap now. May I help you with anything?"
Perth smiled bitterly. He knew Saint enough that pretending sick was his trick to avoid a confrontation with him. He sighed frustratedly.
"It's alright," he smiled. "Please give him this flowers when he woke up and tell him I will take care of Phu until evening. And please remind him to take his medication."
Miriam took the bouquet from him, "I will relay that to him, Mr. Tanapon."
"Daddy, can we go to the zoo now?" Phu asked him, pouting his lips and widening his jaded eyes.
Perth sighed fondly. He was a goner for both the mother and son.
Perth took Phu to an animal-themed restaurant located in the Park Zoo's area. His son had complained that he was hungry after running around and pulling Perth's hands to follow him watching nearly all the animals in the zoo. He particularly liked the penguins and had asked Perth to get one for him as a pet. Perth had to use his mental strength to resist those eyes begging at him to buy one, otherwise Saint would strangle him if he brought a penguin home with Phu. But he had promised the pouting boy to meet the also black and white Oscar soon which made the toddler happy again.
Perth thanked the young waitress who had served their foods. He ignored the admiring stare from the young woman on him, instead started to cutting the fish cutlets into small pieces.
"Here, Boo." Perth called his son while putting a plate of warm fish and chips in front of Phu.
Perth stared at his only son who was munching on his fries, with his bright eyes eyeing the big clear container beside him which was filled with animal toys completed with plastic fences and trees. He had promised Perth to listen to Mummy if Perth bought the toys for him. Perth sighed gently, couldn't resist to brush his hand against Phu's caramel hair.
"Here," Phu turned his attention to him while thrusting a soggy chips to his father who grimaced but eating it since his son had offered it with a big grin.
"Is it good?" Phu asked him hopefully. "I dip it in the milkshakes."
Perth winced at the taste but nodding his head eagerly. "It's delicious."
Phu giggled at that before resuming his eating, short legs swinging forth and back from his chair. Perth smiled at him before eating his chicken alfredo. They ate in comfortable silence while Phu occasionally laughing at Perth's jokes. Perth also took a few pictures of Phu who couldn't stop giggling. Perth waited until Phu finished his food before going to sit beside him.
"Boo, I wanna show you someone." Perth explained while taking his phone out, smiling when Phu leaned against his side, curious eyes fixated on his phone screen.
"This is your grandma, she's my mother." He showed a picture to Phu.
"And this is your Aunt Sammy who is my sister. They lived in France at the moment since my father's death." Perth tried his best in explaining.
"Pretty," Phu commented while staring at the pictures. "But Grandma Jew?" He asked Perth after a moment.
"Yes, Grandma Jew too. But she's in the heaven at the moment atching over you and Mummy." Perth explained gently, eyes watching Phu's expression closely.
"Mummy told me that too," Phu sighed like an adult while playing with Perth's rings.
"Boo." Perth said after sipping his iced coffee. "Had Mummy told you anything about me?" He tried his luck.
"About Daddy?" Phu stared at him, milkshakes foam formed a mustache above his lips.
Perth grinned at that. "Yes, about me." He confirmed while wiping Phu's lips using a napkin. "Or about Bangkok, our hometown."
"I don't remember Daddy." Phu replied nonchalantly before resuming to drink his chocolate milkshakes.
Perth deflated at that but regained his confidence back. "Do you wanna go to Bangkok? It's where mummy and daddy came from."
"I wanna!" Phu exclaimed, body bouncing happily.
"One day I will bring you and Mummy going back to Bangkok, by airplane. And maybe we will live there." Perth explained carefully.
"I can't wait. I lovee airplane." Phu clapped his hands. "Love you Daddy!" He sighed contently while wrapping his small arms around Perth's waist, cheek against his fathers' chest.
Perth's heart melted at that. "I love you too son," he replied before kissing the top of Phu's head.
"Soon..." he muttered into Phu's hair.
"Oh, but Daddy?" Phu pulled away while holding both of Perth's hands, puppy eyes staring back at him.
"Yes?"
"Baba will come too right?"
Perth cleared his throat before saying grimacely, "Now you must finish your cake Boo."
••••••••
Saint stared at the passing cars on the busy road throughout the car window. The colourful lights that illuminated the night scene in Chiang Mai did nothing to distract his heavy thought. He was aware of Zee's close scrutiny on his face and he felt guilty. Zee squeezed his hand and he squeezed back in assurance with a smile on his face.
Saint couldn't remember much of what happened after they arrived at the lavish dinner party held by Zee's close business acquaintance. Camera flashes bursted around them like fireworks as they walked the length of the press gauntlet, but Saint barely paid them any mind, smiling tightly. He was drawn into himself and desperate to get away from the overwhelming crowd.
The moment they crossed over into the building, someone called Zee's name and he turned. Saint slipped away, darting around the rest of the guests clogging the carpeted entrance. When he reached the reception hall, he took a glass of champagne from a passing server and looked for Zee as he sipped it to sooth his nerves. He spotted him on the far side of the room alone with his eyes looking for him, and Saint crossed to him.
Zee smiled when he noticed him, relieved when Saint sauntered against his side.
"You alright?" Zee asked him, amber eyes burning warmly on his face.
Saint swallowed heavily, "Yes, just thinking about Boo" he lied.
Zee smiled at that. "You don't need to worry, Son. He is already sleeping and I'm sure Miriam can take good care of him."
Saint nodded his head, relieved but feeling guilty for using his son as an escape.
"Good evening Mr. Pruk and Mr. Suppapong."
Saint plastered a warm smile on his face and turned around, holding Zee's arm tightly while facing the guests that had greeted them. He acted as usual, as Zee's significant other. An art he had mastered since he stepped into Zee's world.
When dinner was announced, they went into the dining room and sat in their assigned seats. The long table was not filled yet and majority of the guests had just arrived. Zee sat on Saint's right side and pleasantries were changed with their tablemates.
Saint was talking to Mrs. Johansen, a kind rich old woman who was praising his long black dress and asking about little Phu when he heard a familiar voice, Perth.
Saint lifted his head, freezing when he saw Perth and a striking brunette, holding on his arm. A young man who was gorgeous enough to stand side by side with Perth. Saint felt dizzy when he noticed the man's appearance. It was similar to him. Also with wide eyes and curvy figure but with alabaster skin. Perth changed pleasantries with everyone before pulling a chair for his partner to sit and not sitting down himself before whispering something into his ear. They laughed again.
Saint turned his head, the sight was burned behind his lids. He stared at the flower arrangements on the middle of the table, playing deaf when Perth and the young man laughed with the other guests. Saint felt as they were mocking him. He shook his head to clear the thought.
Saint flinched when someone squeezed his hand. He turned to his right.
"You alright Son?" Zee asked smiling at him worriedly.
"Thank you," he mouthed sincerely, smiling when Zee lifted his right hand and kissing his knuckles gently unaware of a pair of eyes staring with fury from across them.
The appetizers were served not much later and the guests started to enjoy their meal accompanied with live classical music. Saint was enjoying his bruschetta when he heard an intended giggling from across him. He ignored them and continue to finish his appetizer before he threw up.
"Excuse me," he said politely before putting his napkin down and strode away smoothly.
Perth laughed half-heartedly when Bill whispered something to him, because his eyes and mind were fixated on someone else who just had just walked away.
"Excuse me," he said before shoving his chair back also unaware of a pair of amber eyes observing his every movements.
Saint refreshed himself and reapplying his lipstick before walking out of the restroom. He just passed a corner when a strong hand pulled his arm out of nowhere and tugging him towards a secluded hallway behind a corner.
"What are you doing Perth?" Saint hissed at the culprit, eyes shooting daggers at the crude man in front of him. He back was pushed against a hall with Perth blocking his stupid big body in front of him. The light coming from the open balcony behind Perth lightened the hallway dimly.
"Talking to you," Perth said simply, he leaned his right arm against the wall beside Saint's head while looking down at Saint who refused to look at him. Perth was frustrated.
"What do you want?" Saint asked coldly, inching farther to his right before Perth noticed his tactic to slip out and caging him against the wall using both of his arms.
Perth laughed coldly at that. "You seemed affectionate with everyone but turns arctic when talking to me. Am I that loathsome?" Perth drawled slowly sending shivers down Saint's spine.
"That's none of your businesses Perth when you're the one who was giggling and laughing with your boyfriend like a highschool crush!" Saint spat, chest heaving when he realized his mistake.
Perth frowned but lifting his perfect brows when he caught it. "Jealous enough?" He laughed mockingly.
Saint glared at him, palm itching to slap that irritating face. He took a deep breath before lifting his head, staring straight into Perth's eyes.
"Why would I? Listen here Perth, we have nothing more to talk about. Our relationship is just as co-parents to Phu. Stop ambushing me like this or people will get the wrong perception when the reality is that we both have significant others in our life! Now if you excuse me." Saint spat before pushing Perth's chest firmly and walking away, tears threatened to fall from his lies.
Perth stood there blinking at Saint's retreated back trying to process what Saint had just said. He cursed himself. "Damn it Perth!"
"Saint wait! Hold on!" He called trying to run after him.
He relieved when Saint stopped, beautiful back still facing him. "Son, I want to apologize to you-I, I just wanna tell you that I want to fix us and the truth that I still-"
"Apology accepted." Saint cut him. "And don't do it again." He said firmly in a choked voice before walking away from Perth.
Perth stood there like a statue.
After the confrontation, Saint masked his exhaustion with a smile and kissing Zee's cheek who was smiling at him when he came back to sit down for the main course.
The rest of the dinner went on smoothly except for Perth's absence on his seat. Saint frowned at that. Where would he went to? His partner was still there, eating and chatting politely with the guest beside him.
Perth's absence was still a mystery until the desserts were served. Saint watched carefully as Perth's partner excused himself from the table after had gotten a call on his phone. Saint sighed heavily, there was something unsettling about that night.
Saint was distracted, poking at his raspberry mousse until the party host, Mr. Van den Berg stood to a round of applause and took the stage. Then Saint turned in his seat and watched him cross to the podium, trying to focus on his inspirational speech.
When he finished, the everyone stood and applauded. Buzz of conversations and compliments could be heard inside the hall. Everyone was about to sit down when he raised his hand.
"But, tonight I have something important to do. My dear friend had asked me a favour and I'm gladly will help him." He explained, gaining full attention from the guests. "I have watched this young man grow into who he is today, an excellent man with a kind heart. Mr. Zee Pruk has something important to do." He finished while gesturing towards Zee.
The spotlight suddenly was directed at Zee and Saint who was still standing beside the long table. Saint, who was shocked looking at Zee, asking for any explanations.
Saint smiled awkwardly, mouthing "What happened?" He was aware and embarrassed from all the attention focused on them.
Zee took a deep breath before kneeling on one knee in front of the shocked Saint.
Saint gasped. "Zee? What are you doing?" He whispered and tried to pull him up and the guests' excited whispering was not helping his anxiousness.
Saint widened his eyes at the still kneeling Zee "Get up Zee, what are you doing?" He hissed getting more confused when Zee took a deep breath and a resolute glint flashed in his eyes.
"Saint Suppapong" Zee called him clearly making the guests quieted down and the music had stopped.
Saint swallowed heavily, the polished floor felt wobbly under his feet when Zee took out a shiny ring from inside his breast pocket.
"Will you marry me?" The question was shot like an arrow hitting straight into Saint's chest.
Saint's heart was about to jump out of his chest. He was not expecting that situation at all. He looked around him, looking for someone among the audience. He himself was not sure who he was looking for.
The crowd cheered at them and started chanting together. "Say yes! Say yes! Say yes!" The hall echoed from that.
Saint stared down at Zee who was wearing a calm and sincere expression while holding a ring between his fingers. Saint's own feet and palm were sweating and a drop of cold sweat ran down his spine. He wanted to run, run far away from that situation. Everyone was waiting for his decision. Saint closed his eyes tightly, suddenly feeling suffocated.
Saint opened his eyes, flinching when a pair of eyes staring back at him from across the hall. Perth. Perth who showed no expression on his face, just standing there like a statue on his feet, but his eyes never left Saint, like an unspoken plead. Saint swore he saw Perth shook his head slowly. Tears fell down Saint's cheeks without he noticed.
"Don't leave me alone Son. I don't want you and Boo to leave me.'
"But sooner and later you and Phu will come with me, going back to Bangkok. Our home's there."
"Mummy!"
"Yes," he choked out, tears fell from the dam when Zee's face lightened up like a fireworks before he slid the ring on Saint's cold finger. He cried more when Zee jumped onto his feet and engulfing him into a tight hug. The crowd were clapping their hands and cheering for them, showering them with congratulations.
But he was crying from what? Happy? Angry? Sad? Guilty? He knew the reason but he was deceiving himself.
Saint lifted his teary face from Zee's neck to search for someone, but he knew he fucked up when that someone was nowhere in sight.