Hero. There is no such thing. One person simply can't have no flaws. Every human is riddled with sins, a disease they will never get rid of. Blood on their hands that they just can't wash off. A perfect hero could never be found. Yet again some people are lucky for their mistakes to go unnoticed. I wonder what that's like. What it's like to be idolised by the world. How they see you as a protector when you even fail to not make any mistakes. Failure. It seems like it would be such an alien feeling to the so-called hero's.
Don't get me started on the ones who pretend to be the hero. Don't get me started on him.
~ New York, 2012 ~
As i stood high upon the building where the sacred tesseract was hidden, i stared down at the chaos me and loki - the god of mischief - had created. It felt good. Watching the infamous avengers struggle below me - below us and our power. A beautiful mess. Wind ruffled my deep brown hair around, entwining hair strands between each other. Twisting and spinning the daggers in my hand, i walked around the tower. Protecting at all cost.
Frequently i was broadcasted upon new york billboards. I was a wanted assassin. I hadn't always been reckless, i was once a "little miss perfect". Now after being branded by Hydra a failed experiment, i was cut from the strings of Hydra. No longer was i their puppet. Yet i find myself always questioning, why i still seek approval? My mind still keeps me up at night. the pain and torture they put me through. brainwashed me into thinking i was a monster. I mean they aren't wrong. Just now the world knows the monsters name - Loralei Koa.
So here i am brainwashed again, this time by Loki and his mischievous ways. Defending him with my all - like the warrior i was trained to be.
Gazing at the massacre below me, fast footsteps came charging from behind. Quickly, i turned on my heel grasping the new attacker by the neck. After my reflex, i noticed the redheaded. Natasha Romanoff. Smiling at her struggling under my grip, i aggressively threw the her onto the floor.
"I do apologise raggedy anne but i have a job to do" gracefully i stepped over Natasha's body, "now if you would excuse me"
Suddenly i felt a forceful kick to my back. Hitting the ground i tucked and rolled back to my feet. Without hesitation, my hands went to my hips gripping the daggers. I launched my right dagger at her. However, luckily for the widow herself she jumped out of the way. I felt a strong arm wrap around my throat. Trying to wriggle my way out, it got tighter.
"i'll take her! you destroy that!" A deep voice sounded from behind me. Natasha walked over to the tesseract, i couldn't hold my laugh. Did they honestly believe they could just destroy it with no effort at all. Reaching into her pocket, natasha brought out a bomb.
"i wouldn't do that if i was you!" I shouted, she turned her gaze to me and gave me a questioning look. "Let me go and i will tell you how to destroy it"
Natasha signaled for the person to let me go. As i turned i seen who had me held - thor, lokis brother. If only they were as smart as him. I then ran to the edge of the building, before turning to face them. "I thought hero's were meant to be smart, too bad." Smirking at them, i dropped backwards off the building.
Half way through the fall, i stabbed my dagger into the building tearing through the wall. When i hit the ground i made my way to a car. Grand theft auto comes in handy sometimes i thought. After hot wiring the car i put my foot down and sped off. No way was i getting caught by the government, i had lived my life held captive to someone's orders.
I had heard of a place for for people claimed to be gone. Madripoor. If i can find it - if it's even real - it may be the perfect place to hide.
~ Madripoor, 2016 ~
I walked into the bar, a red satin dress hugged tight against my body. As usual many cat calls were aimed at me when i walked. Suddenly i felt a hand go against my ass, bringing me to a halt. A bearded man sat proudly holding his pint of whatever the fuck they serve here for bitches like him. I smiled at him while bending over caressing my leg. He laughed loudly until i pulled my dagger from the strap of my shoe and placed it through his hand to the table.
"Keep your hands to yourself, or next time i'll cut your manhood off with that dagger." I smirked after learning him a lesson. Grabbing his drink off the table i downed the drink. "Thanks for the free drink!"
I took back the dagger as he let out another ear aching scream. I sat down at the bar. Grasping a cloth, cleaning the sinful blood of the man from my dagger. A vodka was slid to me. Anything to numb my mind for a while from the thoughts and flash backs. "Keep them coming" I smiled to the bartender.
"wow! that was some show Loralei... i wondered where you disappeared to after 2012" A unfamiliar woman sat down next to me. I never recognised her. She didn't look like anyone i had killed, so she couldn't be a relative to someone.
"who are you?" I looked at her. Honeycomb highlights poked out from under her hood and framed her face. Nothing clicked. I honestly had no clue who she was.
As she took down the hood, she smiled at me. It was inviting. I felt my anxiety calm down. All i wanted to do was have a nice quiet drink. No more fancy fights.
"I'm Sharon Carter" she looked at me, before forcing her hand towards me to shake. I took it lightly and shook it. Carter. where had i heard that name from.
It couldn't be. I mean she couldn't be. "Are you related to Peggy Carter by any chance?" Her face lit up. I took it as a yes, before bringing the second shot to my mouth and throwing my head back.
"I'm here niece. I have heard about you. I mean not just from the news. I heard about you when i was younger. About Steve, Bucky and you." She smiled at me, i forced a smile back. I didn't need the reminder of their names. All the past was brought back. Past relationships aren't my favourite things to reminisce on.
Especially to think back to James, or as most people call him Bucky. All his broken promises. Our experience with hydra. He was the reason hydra abandoned me. Unlike me, he gave them what they wanted. He gave them the perfect super soldier. I had no one when i left hydra. I was supposed to have him. We were supposed to leave together one night. To escape, live life and create our own family. Yet they forced him to try and kill me, he nearly succeeded. I left with nothing. No one but myself - or what they had transformed me into.
"Nice to meet you Sharon. So what brings you here" I looked at her. She looked guilty. I mean aren't we all guilty of something here in Madripoor. People don't come here for a sunny holiday, there has to be a reason. I laughed at her, she seemed so sweet. I remember when i was like that. While laughing she looked at me and smiled.
"I sort of stole back steve's shield from the government... I'm a criminal to the whole country" she looked at me waiting for my reaction. My jaw dropped. The line of Carter's have gotten more badass as the blood went on. I smiled at her.
"Well don't worry. Your safe here. 4 year i have been here and no one has found me." I passed her the shot that had been given to me. In no hesitation she drank it. I knew from that moment i had someone who i didn't need to impress for them to like me.
The rest of the night we talked and laughed. I was what she needed and she was what i needed. I then gave her the chance to stay with me, to my surprise she said yes.
~ Madripoor , 2018 ~
I stood watching sharon speak about how she thinks starting a private hightown nightclub. Personally i believe it would be an amazing idea. The past few years we had became like sisters. Close friends that depended on one another, life began to get quiet for me when sharon came along. It became what i had always wanted. We owned a home together, became respected in madripoor and gained somewhat of a good life.
We still struggled sometimes. Although sharon was open with her struggles. She missed her life back in society. Her family and friends. I don't blame her. If i had that i would struggle to. I on the other hand still had nightmares. I stopped drinking so heavily and started speaking to sharon. my past put her on edge. I wasn't the great hero she had been told about by peggy. Yet she still listened even though she holds some disappointment towards me. I hold it to myself sometimes so who can blame her.
"Are you listening?" Sharon ran her hand through her hair stressed. She sighed and then let out a scream, dropping to the ground. I ran to her side catching her to soften her landing. She held her body.
"What's happening? Are you okay?" I felt my hands go clammy. I didn't know what was happening. She was in pain and i couldn't fix it. Suddenly she passed out in my arms. I couldn't wake her up. As i tried waking her up, she then became light.
Her limp body then slowly turned to dust and drifted through my hands. i screamed. What had happened? Why did this happen? I ran to the window that overlooked the alley way to see a car crash and others turning to dust.
Dropping to the ground i gripped my chest. Panicking and hyperventilating. How is everyone disappearing. Why wasn't i?
~ Madripoor , 2023 ~
I stood in the newly decorated nightclub. Just like sharon would have wanted. I transformed our home into her buisness plan. What she last talked about. Still to this day i can't understand why i wasn't the one to disappear during the blip? I feel guilty over something i had no control over.
Opening day wasn't until next week. i still wasn't prepared. I then walked to get a shower. I let the warm water heat the bathroom up before walking into the hot steamy room and removing my clothes. I stood under the hot water letting the droplets hit my skin. I kept my eyes open, as still every time i close them another memory seems to haunt me. Knocking the water off after i had washed myself, i wrapped the towel around my damp body.
Something was wrong. I could sense it. Cracking the door open to peer out and listen, i heard footsteps. Slowly i tiptoed into the hallway, praying that the towel doesn't give up on me when i greet the stranger. Each room was empty but the kitchen. The apparition of someone stood in the middle.
Quickly, i grabbed the butter knife sat from the side, it was from when i made a sandwich earlier. Before launching the knife they turned around. Looking at their hands. From under the hood, poked the famous honeycomb highlights i would recognise anywhere.
"Sharon?" i gasped. Dropping the knife i was armed with. They looked up at me. It was her. I ran towards her and let out tears. I hadn't cried in years. I wasn't alone anymore. The past 5 years killed me. I wasn't prepared to be left alone.
She embraced me tightly and then questioned what happened. When i told her she had no clue that she was gone for 5 year. To her it was like a second. For me it felt like a lifetime. I had only felt like this for someone since i left james. I couldn't eat, sleep or function for years. I had lost myself.
~ present day: madripoor , a few months later after the blip ~
Numerous voices were sounded from in the back living room, Sharon's and 3 men. My first thought was Sharon had private clients for the art work. Then again she told me she was going to stop that for a while. My whole perspective changed when i heard my name being brought up multiple times.
I was referred to as loki's loralei. I frowned. It had been 11 year since new york. Clearly they weren't from madripoor if that's how they knew me. One man told Sharon that he could clear her name. However, when i was brought up in question a familiar voice told her that "they say Ive gone to far this time."
That one voice i never wished to hear yet i still melted at the sound of it. James Buchanan Barnes.
One question was what was he doing in Madripoor?