°•∘ big brother ∘•°
Therapist Baek Soorae.
Security guard Kim Seun.
Security chief Lee Yeonjae.
Manager Kim Huynsae.
People. She was surrounded by people. But she wanted to be alone.
If her trauma was big when the mere memory of the man that tried to kill her filled her thoughts, it was now out of control knowing he was out to get her.
The call had been made from a Korean disposable phone, and they had no records about the location of the man.
She had been attending therapy, taking sleeping pills and having Beomgyu as her sleeping buddy. Everywhere she went, Kim Seun would go. He was a well built man with a rough expression and trained in every martial art she could think of.
She learned that one time he walked her to school a few days ago. She also learned he had a baby boy named Minjun who was three years old and an older child who was twelve named Dajun.
She actually liked her security guard. He was nice and always made sure she felt okay. But she never was completely okay.
Maybe she never would be.
Her therapist was another person she grew to respect and actually like being around. Eunsae had fought with all of her willpower to let Bang Sihuyk know she wasn't crazy.
He held her tiny little shaking body as she cried –much like her father would if he was there– and made her realize that therapy is not for the crazy. Is for the ones that are the strongest and have suffered the most but still make it day by day.
Miss Baek was actually really smart. She had gotten the prescription right at the second chance –which usually might take more than two tries to get correct–, and had introduced Eunsae to mindfulness and journaling.
She had also started writing some lyrics (but she would never even let her shrink know, because she was sure they were nothing big).
The band had also gotten a manager. Seeing as their fame increased and that the new schedule had Eunsae's therapy written on all thursdays and sundays at four pm on the calendar, they needed someone to manage their times and to make sure the kids were being well taken care of. It was actually given to all new bands a manager when they first debuted, but they had been too busy with BTS' comeback that they hadn't hired anyone.
Hyunsae was pretty chill and let her not use honorifics. He called her everyday at eleven in the morning to know how she was doing, and if she had classes, he would text her in order to not interrupt.
It was as if a shield was put over her, keeping her safe and warming her heart. The boys from Tomorrow by Together had moved into the same apartment complex –upstairs from Enhypen's dorm–, and it didn't take much begging to Bang Sihyuk to let Beomgyu accompany his best friend as much as he could.
The security chief would take turns with Seun and do night shifts. He would stay awake all night guarding the entrance to Enhypen's dorm, making Eunsae feel safe.
Well, only a little.
She knew this was all her fault. She couldn't help it but feel useless, and to want to never leave her bed. And her therapist had actually advised her to do so. She had been staying home for a few days now, watching Christmas movies over and over again, and preparing shrimp ramyeon for her and Seun.
Then she would go back to sleep after meditating and would only wake up when Sunoo came to her bed and sprawled all over her, leaving soft kisses on her forehead and hair.
She felt like she was broken.
Even though her shrink had told her she wasn't, and that they would work through it, she felt like she had fell deep into a hole. She was so jumpy and her energy levels were also really low. She would nap for hours and then sleep until noon after going to bed at ten at night.
The boys were worried about her; specially Sunghoon and Sunoo. The first was madly crushing on her and hated to see her so vulnerable and not being herself. The latter just felt his heart ache each time Eunsae sighed.
So now they were all gathered at the dining table –with Security chief Lee–, discussing the latest drama that was airing.
Eunsae just moved her chopsticks from side to side, moving her food inside her bowl, not even raising her gaze.
It was as if everything had been numbed. She felt nothing. Only fear, sadness and tiredness.
She was a little scared to admit that she still liked Sunghoon and that her heart would flutter every time he would kiss her forehead goodnight. But she also knew that it would be unfair to him if she admitted it out loud. Because she would drag him into her darkness, and he was the sun.
She didn't want him to stop shining because of her.
That's why she was siting in front of Bang Sihyuk, who looked confused and hadn't said a word ever since she mumbled "resign".
"W–", the man wasn't able to say a single word. He sighed and rubbed his eyes a little, and then turned towards her with pursed lips. "You can't resign".
"I mean, I know you're doing so much for me and I appreciate it. I've been doing better but I don't think I'm strong enough to live this life. Between the constant hatred and that man harassing me, I am constantly afraid to do anything alone. I wish I could stay, and I know you scouted me for a reason... you see something in me and I couldn't feel more honored. But I have to step back".
He rubbed his temple once more and Eunsae started thinking she was giving the poor man a migraine.
"What I mean is that you can't resign. Your contract says you are exclusive with us for three years, and during that period of time you cannot turn in your resignation", Sihyuk explained. "I thought you read it?"
She had. But it had been so long ago that the little detail had completely faded from her memory.
"I'm sorry", the man offered her a weak smile and she nodded silently. That changed a lot. "We will do everything in our power to make you feel safe and to ensure that you have everything that you need. Another idol... from this company suffered because of a sasaeng. It was a couple of years ago and his contract had the same exclusivity clause. We put all of our resources and made it as comfortable for him as we could... and now they're Grammy Nominees", he explained.
Eunsae gulped. He was talking about someone in BTS.
"I– I can get you to talk to him, if you'd like. They are all aware in this company of the things you're going through and he offered to help in any way he can", Sihyuk stated.
And even though she was now very self conscious about everyone knowing that she was very traumatized, she felt that maybe talking to someone who had gone through something similar might help.
She desperately needed a father figure, or a mother figure. And she couldn't have them. So she would take the big brother figure that was being offered.
Maybe that way she would find peace and be happy as she was a couple months ago.
our souls just
dance the same
(Atticus)
Extras.
1. Incorrect quotes:
heeseung: we are not mad, we just want to know why you would need a fake ID.
eunsae: *incoherent mumbling*
jay: speak up, moonie.
eunsae: ...you need to be over 18 at Petco to hold the puppies.
°•∘ɷ∘•°
jungwon: eunsae...
eunsae: oh no, "eunsae" in b-flat.
eunsae: you're disappointed.
°•∘ɷ∘•°
eunsae, talking to sunghoon on the phone: did you preheat the oven like i told you to?
sunghoon: you bet!
eunsae: at what temperature?
sanghoon: 535.
eunsae: that's the clock.
sanghoon:
eunsae:
sanghoon: 536.
°•∘ɷ∘•°
sunoo: okay, i need the worst idea possible.
eunsae: Push-ups on a diving board.
riki: i wish i could understand what's going on in whatever you two have instead of brains.
°•∘ɷ∘•°
eunsae: god give me patience.
heeseung, dropping jay: don't you mean "god give me strength"?
eunsae: if god gave me strength you two would be dead.
°•∘ɷ∘•°
sunghoon *to the maknae line*: everyone, synchronize your watches.
eunsae: i don't know how to do that.
sunoo: i don't wear a watch.
jungwon: time is a construct.
riki: what even is a watch.
sunghoon *mumbles*: im gonna murder them one day
°•∘ɷ∘•°
eunsae: before you say no-
heeseung: no.
eunsae: but i haven't even told you yet.
heeseung: i'm sticking with no.
°•∘ɷ∘•°
sunoo and eunsae before leaving to the company:
jake: ok, say the three words
sunoo: I love you
eunsae:
eunsae *elbows him*: No, the other three words...
sunoo, looking towards heeseung: we will behave?
eunsae: yes tHATS IT
°•∘ɷ∘•°
eunsae: bad things keep happening to me. it's like i have bad luck or something.
jungwon: you don't have bad luck, moonie. you just make bad decisions.
°•∘ɷ∘•°
sunoo: you have to apologize to jay
eunsae: fine.
eunsae *mumbles towards jay*: 'unfuck you' or whatever.
okay i had this written and todays sunday and i cant seem to stop thinking about this story so here you go.
also i kinda started a txt sixth member fanfic too (because i have so much free time lmao) so if u like them go check it out.
love you.
stay healthy and take care of yourself and the ones you love.
ill ser u soon!
-baobab.
(Also i was thinking about doing a q&a with the characters and author so lemme know if that idea sounds good!❤️)
(Proofread on September 7. Any mistakes may be pointed out).