The palace hadn't changed much or at all for that matter. It was empty now, and Alina could feel the ominous energy surrounding her. The calm before the storm. She knew that feeling well. She had been there before one time too many.
"That bad?" Alina asked as they strode at a fast pace toward the entrance of the palace.
"How the war hasn't broken out yet is a surprise to me too."
She noticed that Zoya was glancing in every direction and was flanking Alina; she switched sides a few times as if to guard her against an onlooker who might recognize her. Alina kept her scarf tight around her lowered head.
When they entered one of the rooms, it came as no surprise when Genya threw herself at Alina.
"I've missed you so much!" She exclaimed and examined her face. "You look tired."
"Long week," Alina replied as she hugged her old friend back. Tolya and Tamar were next to squeeze her in a tight embrace. She had missed them all so dearly.
"I am so happy to see you even if the circumstances are not ideal," Tamar told her. Alina was too; even though an imminent war was the reason for all of them to meet like this, she was still glad to see her friends well and alive.
She saw Nikolai sitting at a table in the corner of the room, lost in thought. He did smile at her when his eyes finally met hers, but Alina could tell it was not an entirely sincere smile; it was more of an apologetic one, a regretful one. She knew he was sorry for the trouble he was causing and the risk she had to take. The chances of her being exposed to the world were big.
"Don't look at me like that," Alina started as she went to him. He stood up and too gave her a small hug. "If he is back, then the world would search for me too as well. After all, we were burned together. I guess we rise from the ashes together as well."
"How you can have this amount of confidence and calmness in times like these both surprises me and puts me at ease," he told her as he smiled more. "It is good to have you back."
"Can't really say the same," Alina admitted as she looked around the room. "This time, it all feels too final." Nikolai nodded. He, too, dreaded the outcome of this situation. He felt it in his bones that it would not be a good one.
"Where is he?" Alina asked quietly, only for Nikolai to hear.
"If you think I will hand you over to him that easily then you must have forgotten a few things about me," he winked at her, and Alina smiled. It was nice to fall back into a familiar routine and conversation with the people she loved most. "You can take off the scarf now," he told her as he gave it a thoughtful look. "Everybody knows who you are here, and there is no need to hide now."
Alina gladly took off the scarf and combed through her hair with her fingers.
"So what is the plan?" Alina asked as she and the others joined Nikolai at the table.
"The plan is to save Ravka with all I have to offer," Nikolai said.
"Even the Darkling?" Alina asked.
"Even the Darkling," Nikolai replied.
"Hate to break it to you, but he isn't the type to cooperate, especially when he wanted to destroy Ravka himself," Alina told him.
"I would love to break it to you that as of now, he is my prisoner, and I have a leverage against him."
"Me?"
"Why else would you be here?"
"I can't fight Nikolai," Alina told him. "I can't fight him anymore, not even with Grisha steel. He is ancient and eternal, and I can't kill him again. I won't."
"Nobody said anything about killing him. I am well aware that he is eternal, and if so, then he might as well be made of use."
"Then what?" Zoya asked. She had her hands crossed over her chest, and Alina could tell she disagreed with Nikolai's plan.
"How would our people react if they were to find out that Ravka's biggest threat and the enemy is alive?"
"They would be scared; you will lose credibility. Nobody would want you as a King; nobody would trust you," Genya answered.
"Exactly," Nikolai answered a little too excitedly. "And how would they react if they were to find out that our Sun Summoner is alive as well?"
"They'd rejoice, they'd celebrate-" Genya immediately stopped the mid-sentence, and a look of horror was written all over her face.
"Have you lost your mind completely?" Zoya stood up and slammed her hand on the table. "This is absurd and risky, and it will put Alina at risk, and your credibility will go to hell as well! All sides of this will get hurt!"
"Calm down, Zoya," Nikolai begun, but Zoya was fast to slam her hand to the table once more.
"Don't tell me to calm down when you know that you're talking nonsense!"
"What would our enemies think?" Nikolai asked, and Zoya was confused for a moment as she didn't realize what he meant by the sudden question.
"What would the Fjerdans think when they realize that the strongest Grisha ever to live never died?" Zoya was stunned by his aggressive tone. She felt that he was holding on to a threat that was too fragile for his ambition. "What would the Shu Han do when they realize that Ravka has them. And that they are willing to fight for Ravka. Fight against them."
Nikolai was so affected by the whole conversation that he, too, had stood up and looked like a wild cornered animal at Zoya while pointing the finger at Alina as it was not clear who he was talking about.
"Fear," he hissed quietly. "Fear and dread, Zoya." He readjusted his uniform and sat down.
"Lack of confidence to even attack, terror and horror of what would be lost, worry, anxiety, distress, you name it!" He slammed his fist on the table. "They know Ravka is in ruins because of the previous battle. They know we are unstable and in the process of rebuilding."
"So you want to parade me and the Darkling around town?" Alina broke her silence.
"I want to send the message, yes," he told her as he rubbed his temples.
"Which part of 'I am not longer a Grisha', can't you comprehend?" She asked in turn, and the rest of them could feel and hear the hurt and pain in her voice. They could sense she was insulted; she didn't even try to hide it. What was the point by now, anyway? They could only pity her for what she once was and what had become of her now. They would never know how it felt to be on top of the world and then lose it all, to lose a vital part of oneself in a beat.
"Seeing is believing, Alina," he told her in a charming, light-hearted way. "I can make people see what I want them to see to believe."
"Deceit could only get you this far," she said and stood up from the table. "And right now, you are scared and desperate. And when you are scared and desperate, you're irrational, you're emotional, and you make mistakes."
"This for my country Alina," he turned to her. "For our country, for Ravka."
"I too am Ravkan, Nikolai," she told him calmly. "But I am no longer a Grisha that you could use for your political games; I am no longer an instrument of your games. The Grisha have been persecuted long enough already, and what you're planning to do right now is nothing different. You're giving the enemy way to me, a way to all Grisha, who have protected me so far. A way to you. You're instigating a witchhunt. You are provoking this."
"I am at the end of my rope, Alina," he told her exhausted, and sighed.
"That doesn't mean that you should throw others into the void just so that your rope doesn't break and you can keep holding onto it," Alina's tone was firm, and the others could tell she was upset. Who wouldn't be? They all agreed with her. "The more I listen to your royal talk, the more I understand why the Darkling wanted this system gone. There is no safe haven for Grisha, not even for people like me, who are no longer one."
"Alina," Genya began as she rose from her seat as well. Alina just put a hand up to stop her from saying more.
"I never agreed to your plan," she told Nikolai. "I never agreed to reveal myself like that. I never agreed to lie."
"Then why did you come?" Nikolai was no longer looking at her. His voice was raspy and tired, as if he had given up completely. He was rubbing at his temples.
"Nikolai!" Zoya exclaimed. What was wrong with him today? Has he lost his mind? Why ask for Alina then? What for, Zoya didn't know at the time, but she knew that Alina would never agree to something like this and was shocked to even listen to Nikolai say those things. It was as if something else had taken control over his body and mind. It was not the Nikolai she knew.
There was a long silence between them, and all of them excepted Alina to answer the obvious. It has been the King of Ravka after all that had requested her presence at the palace. It was that obvious as to why she was here. For Ravka. Had he forgotten he invited her?
"To see him," Alina told him, and this time, Nikolai turned to look at her. He was shocked. The others look at her incredulously as well.
"To see the Darkling," Alina said one more time in case they haven't heard her the first time.