Oliver was complaining the whole ride home. Maybe I will just give him the front seat tomorrow if he would stop complaining about it. When James parks, I literally jump out of the truck. I can't hear another whiny word that comes out of Oliver's mouth or else I am going to lose it. I open the door to find my dad walking towards me with a suitcase. He looked like his normal tired self, but it seemed like he had more grief. He left the suitcase at the door, and he went back upstairs, completely ignoring me. It isn't unusual for him to not talk to me, but he would usually at least acknowledge my presence. By this time, Oliver and James were behind me. Oliver and I follow our dad back upstairs. He was packing another suitcase.
Oliver and I look at each other, unsure of what to do. "Hey, Dad, is everything okay?" Oliver asks hesitantly. Our dad doesn't like us to disturb him when he is busy, which is basically all the time. This time, he looks extremely busy with something I don't want to believe.
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just have to leave for a while," he says without looking at us. He continues to pack.
"Are you and Mom okay?" I ask him. He doesn't respond. His packing slows down a bit. "Dad, what is going on?" He still doesn't respond, but the packing stops. He lifts his head and wipes his face with his hands. He glances at me and Oliver before sitting down and looking at the floor. He takes a moment to think. A moment that causes some panic inside of me. He can't leave, right? He is happy with Mom. They love us all so much. He has yet to come to one of my decathlon competitions and see me win an award. He can't leave yet.
He finally lifts his head to look at us. His eyes were red, something I didn't notice before. "Your mother... and I have decided that it is best if I head out for a while to straighten things out with each other. I don't know when I'll be back. Everything will be fine though," he tells us, but the last part isn't convincing as much I hoped it would be.
"So, you're leaving us," Oliver says, which shortens my breath. He said the words I hoped I wouldn't hear. He said the words that none of us wanted too. Our dad stand back up. "You're leaving us, aren't you? What did you do that makes you have to leave?" Oliver yells, his voice cracks halfway though. Our dad doesn't say anything. "Answer me, what did you do?"
"You're mother is kicking me out," he says and continues to pack. Oliver takes the clothes and throws them out of the suitcase and at him. "James, what do you think you're doing?" He asks, his eyes boring into Oliver's. His voice was rigid, the way he sounded when he was angry.
"Admit to it! Admit to what you did, you dirty piece of-" Oliver says, but he is cut off when our father slaps him. His eyes were now filled with anger instead of tears. "My name's Oliver, not James, you asshole," Oliver says before leaving the room. I'm frozen in shock. I can't comprehend what just happened. My breathing quickens. Everything is coming to me in a big rush.
My dad is being kicked out of the house. My dad just slapped my brother. He did something terrible that I don't want to know. My dad is leaving before he could be proud of me.
I run out of the room wanting some fresh air, a fresh mind, anything to get this out of my head. I run to the backyard where my mother is. She is sitting on the steps of the deck. She has a bottle of wine in her hand, and she is chugging it out of the bottle. I slowly walk up to her. The closer I get, the less blurry she is. I rub my eyes to find myself crying. She can't see me like this. I rub my eyes free of existing tears, and throw on a smile. I take a deep breath before sitting right next to her.
"Do you know how long he's been seeing her for?" my mom asks, obviously drunk. "One year," she laughs. "He's been seeing that other woman for a whole year, and I find out today coming home early from work. He's been lying for one year, and I was stupid enough to believe him," she tells me and takes another swig of wine. I try to take the bottle away from her, but she just swats my hand away and hugs it.
"Mom, you need to stop," I say trying to keep my tone even. I don't like seeing her like this. I wanted to cry or yell, but I can't. Not when she is like this. "You can't drink like this. Let's go inside." I try to pull her onto her feet, but she fights me. She yanks herself away, standing, and throws the wine bottle. It shatters next to me, and a piece flies and cuts my leg. I wince in pain. She looks at me for the first time. Her make up was smudged, and her eyes were red. "Mom..."
"He's still in there, isn't he? Crying like he is the victim," she cuts me off and laughs like a crazy person. "I knew it, too." her tone was more soft and serious now. "I had a feeling that something was wrong, but I didn't say anything. I thought I was being a good wife and not being suspicious." She falls down to her knees, now crying once more. "Why wasn't I good enough? I could've tried harder, been better. Why did he have to do that to me, to us?" I stare at her, unable to think of something to say. I don't know why.
I hear the door slam inside and a car unlocking. He is leaving. I also hear someone yelling after him, but I couldn't tell who. It is drowned out by my mother's crying. I think about running after my dad as well, but I don't. I sit down next to my mom, and she leans her head on my shoulder. I begin to cry with her. I cry when I hear my dad pull out of the driveway. I don't know when I stopped, but it is around the same time my mom did. She falls asleep on my shoulder. I know I can't lift her so I slowly move and lay her on the step so I can go inside and find James.
I walk inside, and the house is silent and the lights are off. The twins aren't home to create havoc, or cry that dad is gone, thankfully. I don't want to think about how they will find out. One room is illuminated, the kitchen. I walk in to see James sitting there his face in his hands. He is crying. I quietly walk up to him, but he hears me.
"I knew it," he says quietly. I don't say anything. "I knew that ass of a dad was cheating on her, but I was too scared to say anything," he tells me, his voice becoming more even and angry. "I guess that makes me an ass too. I should've said something."
"It isn't your fault. It's all on him. He's the only one at fault," I say, but I still have some doubt. Some doubt that we could've been a better family, and he would've stayed. "Mom is outside, sleeping. Can you bring her in?"
James nods, and I leave before he gets up. I run to my room wanting to talk to someone, but I just don't know who. Carrie's on a date, and I don't want to bother her. I don't want to worry Dylan as he already has too much to deal with. I'm mad at Josh, and I am definitely not talking to Aidan. Then, I remember Jack. I pull out my phone and call him.
"Hey Molls. Wait, are you crying?" Jack asks, his voice already filled with worry. Someone in the background talks, probably Josh. "Why are you crying?"
I tell him what happened. I start crying again. When I stop, it is silent. Then I hear Jack yell something at Josh before coming back to the phone. "Jack, did you feel like this when your mom left? How did you get over it?" I ask him.
"I took awhile. I felt lonely at the beginning, but I had you, Josh, and Dylan. You guys really helped me through it," he tells me.
"Yeah, if you weren't annoying me, I wouldn't have been so distracted from it," I hear Josh say a little farther from the phone. Jack probably had it on speaker. "Don't worry about it, Smart ass, we will always be here for you and help. I can even help you with your homework." I think about Josh's last report card, that he showed me proudly.
"Yeah, no thanks. But thank you for talking to me," I tell him and hang up. I lay on my bed and don't think. I don't think about how we will tell the twins, or Luke and Sam. I don't think about how things are going to go tomorrow. I just want to go to sleep. This is a problem for tomorrow, something to fully understand tomorrow. With that, it becomes the longest night for me ever.
I don't remember when I fell asleep last night, but I wake up later than I normally do. See a text from Josh, but I don't open it. I don't even bother getting dressed, and I walk downstairs to smell an amazing breakfast. I walk into the kitchen to see Sam there cooking. No one else is up. They must've also had long nights.
"Sam? What are you doing back?" I ask sitting down at the table behind me.
"James called me and Luke yesterday. Since, my college is close I came down to help around. Luke is coming back this afternoon," he tells me as he flips a pancake onto a plate. He hands it to me. "Luckily it is a Saturday or else you would've been late."
I roll my eyes and turn to the breakfast. I stare at it, not hungry. No matter how delicious it smelled. I hear footsteps come downstairs and see Evan and Oliver walking toward us together. They both look probably as bad as I do. Something is in Evan's hand, but I can't tell what. They sit on both sides of me, not acknowledging Sam. I give Oliver my pancake, which he eats pretty quickly.
"Mom is still in bed," Evan tells us and lifts us the mystery object. It was an unopened bottle of wine. "This was next to her. Who knows when she was going to open it," he says and puts it on the table next to him. We sit in silence for the rest of breakfast.
James doesn't wake up for a while. Sam leaves to pick up the twins, and I guess he will tell them what happened in the car. Oliver, Evan, and I move to the living room, but we continue to sit in silence. It still feels like a not real, like a dream. I could wake up any second, and my dad will still be here. He would be sitting at the table eating, looking at his phone. He would still be kissing my mom before he leaves for work, but he isn't. The reality is that he is gone, and he won't come back.
I open the text from Josh.
Josh: hey are u ok? Text me if u need us to come over. Well always be here for u <3.
I feel a faint smile on my lips as I read the text message. The bad punctuation made me feel a little better knowing that Josh knew it would annoy me. It was his way of making me feel better.
Someone knocks on the door. We all ignore it and continue to sit in silence. After a few more knocks, I decide to get up and answer the door. It was Carrie and Jack. They hug me as soon as I open the door.
"Let's go hang out somewhere. I doubt you want to stay here any longer," Carrie says, and I nod in agreement. I run upstairs to change into normal clothes before leaving.
As we walk to Carrie's car, Sam pulls into the driveway. The twins jump out of the car and run inside. I look at Sam, who just got out of his car. "I didn't tell them," he says. His eyes go wide for a second. "You're friends are here?"
"Yeah. Actually, we are leaving now. I'll see you later," I tell him. He nods and walks inside the house.
"When did Sam come home?" Jack asked, looking back at the house. "Never mind, it doesn't matter," he says before I could even answer. I look at him confused, but just shrug it off. He never asked about my brothers before, but it is strange for Sam to be home during the school year.
"So, how does the arcade sound?" Carrie asks as we get into her car.
"Great, it's been a while since I kicked Jack's ass in videogames," I say, getting a dirty look from Jack.
"Yeah, well get ready Green because I've been practicing," Jack tells me. I laugh and turn up the music.
"Sorry I can't hear you." I laugh. I feel my problems disappear for a second as the music blasts and Jack argues about his mediocre gaming skills. It feels like everything is normal, like it should be. I know it is going to end at some point, but I'm going to enjoy it as much as possible.