Be Alright – Dean Lewis,
I Can't Help Falling in Love with You – Elvis Presley.
What a Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong.
Unchained Melody – Righteous Brothers.
Listen respectively (I'll put the asterisks to separate the sections)
"You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have." ― "The Notebook" Nicholas Sparks.
***
🦁Alexandre🦁
"I'm leaving Alex, don't you see that?" she asks putting a blanket in one of her suitcases.
"What do you mean leaving Isabelle? Where are you going?" I ask kicking her neatly packed suitcase across the room.
"I'm leaving you Alex and I'm leaving this country. I'm going back to France" she says stomping past me.
"Merde Alexandre, pourquoi fais-tu ça?" she hisses her accent thick as she forces the clothes back into the suitcase.
"You're leaving me and you're going back to France?" I ask ignoring her question walking behind her.
"Oui" she says not even looking up at me.
"When are you leaving?" I ask her, trying to think of a way to convince her to stay.
"Aujourd'hui" she says nonchalantly, still trying to cram everything back into her suitcase.
"Today?" I ask her in disbelief.
"Oui. My flight leaves in two hours" she says, still not looking up at me.
"Were you going to tell me?" I ask, standing over her.
"No but I was planning to leave a note to tell you that I wasn't coming back; but you came home early so call that luck I guess" she shrugs looking up at me, a sweet smile on her face.
"Why are you doing this Belle?" I ask but she doesn't answer.
"Isabelle, regarde-moi!" I kick the suitcase from before her.
"Alexandre ce qui ne va pas chez toi? Don't you see I'm trying to get my things together?" she hisses walking towards the suitcase.
"Are you in trouble Belle? Is that why you're leaving? Because if that's it then I can help you, whatever it is we can fix it. Please mon amour, just let me in" I plead walking behind her.
"In trouble? You think I'm in trouble?" she asks laughing humorlessly.
"Oui mon amour that's the only reason I can think of to explain all of this" I say taking her hands in mine.
"I'm not in trouble. I'm leaving because of you Alexandre, I'm tired of you, you drive me nuts" she pulls her hands away from me in frustration.
"Je ne comprends pas mon amour" I say walking behind her like a lost puppy.
"What don't you understand Alexandre? I'm going back to France because I can't bare being in the same country as you. You disgust me so much I can't even stand to breathe the same air as you" she says looking me in the eyes; her eyes are rock hard and her face is emotionless.
"Mais Isabelle"
"But what Alexandre?"
"Je t'aime" I tell her trying to hold her hands again.
"Tu m'aimes" I reach for her hands again.
"Nous sommes amoureux" I give up trying to touch her.
"So, I don't understand mon amour, what is all this about you being disgusted by me? What is all this about me annoying you and driving you nuts? The only thing I do is ensure that you're well taken care of and that you feel loved so why would you say all this?" I ask rubbing my temples.
"Pourquoi tu me fais mal comme ça mon amour? "I ask her confused.
"I'm not trying to hurt you Alex, you should have seen this coming; we weren't meant for each other, it has been obvious from the beginning that this was only meant to be a fling" she shrugs folding an orange blouse.
"A fling Belle? That's what you're going to call our relationship? A fling? Flings don't last for six years Isabelle. I just introduced you to my parents six months ago. They love you Isabelle, as do I. There is no need for you to be doing this, I can't come up with an explanation for all this; but whatever it is, whatever you're going through we can get through this together. Come on mon amour, don't go. Stay with me mon amour, tell me the truth s'il te plaît" I plead with her but she just keeps folding as if she doesn't hear me pouring my heart out to her.
"You don't love me Alex, it's all in your head. I never loved you either we just got carried away. We lost each other in ourselves and we convinced ourselves that we were in love but that's over now and the sooner you wake up from this silly dream the better it will be for you. I'm tired of wasting my time with you, I'm going back to France so that I can live my life far away from you." she says closing the suitcase.
"Don't say that Isabelle, you don't mean all that, you're just saying this because you're upset. What did I do to upset you? What can I do to make it up to you? Just name it and it's done. I'll do anything for you Isabelle. Just say the word Belle, come on." I try to touch her but she pulls away.
"Isabelle please" I walk after her.
"Belle"
"Please look at me Isabelle" I walk behind her as she pulls her other suitcases to the door.
"Isabelle" I groan frustrated.
"Talk to me Isabelle please"
"Somebody will be over before the end of the week to collect the rest of my stuff, maybe my brother, maybe my mother I'm not sure yet; but they'll be here before Friday so just look out for one of them. Be kind to them when they come, they have nothing to do with me and you" she says completely everything I just said.
"Isabelle" my voice is stern and it makes her look at me.
"Que voulez-vous Alexandre?" she hisses in frustration.
"I want to know the real reason you're going back to France" I ask her, holding her gaze.
"You don't get to know everything in life Alex. Just know you'll be better off without me. The love you need, the love you deserve, I can't give it to you. You deserve happiness, you deserve the world, you deserve better than me" she says walking closer to me.
"I don't want the world and I don't want better; I want you" I close my eyes as she brings her hand up to caress my left cheek.
"Ce n'est pas ce que tu veux mon amour, c'est ce que tu mérites" she whispers against my ear.
"Forget me my love, don't follow me to France, set your heart free, accept love and give love ferociously. You'll forget me eventually, but when you meet the woman you deserve, you'll think of me again, and you'll see that I was right, you'll see that you deserved better than me all this time." she places a chaste kiss on the side of my cheek.
"Au revoir mon amour"
And with that she left.
****
Oh, so you remember her.
Of course I remember her I gave her six years of my life and spent another two trying to get over her.
Do you remember what happened after she left?
Yes.
Do you remember how broken you were?
Yes.
Do you remember how you had to fight yourself to see that you weren't the problem she was?
Yes.
Do you remember how you swore off on love?
Yes.
Do you remember how lost you were?
Yes.
Do you remember that you swore to never commit to anyone else again?
Yes.
So why does your heart do a somersault when you see Valentina-Rosa?
I don't know.
Why do you want to be around her all time?
I don't know.
Why would you give anything just to see her smile?
I don't know.
Alexandre Lenoir?
Oui.
Does this not sound like love to you?
"Alex?" a soft knock on the door disrupts my thoughts.
"It's time to go" Aurora says when I look over at her.
"I'll be down in a minute" I tell her standing up from my spot on my bed.
"Aston, Teresa and I are going ahead of you guys so that we can have the picnic set up by time you guys bring the others up" she says stretching and rolling her head back.
"Alright then, I'll see you guys when we get there" I pull the hooded sweatshirt over my head.
"Be safe on the road amour, and don't forget the blankets" she knocks the door twice and steps out.
We're going to Cambridge for dinner, we do this every year to celebrate our friendship; a nice little picnic on the river bank under the moon and stars. It has always been just the six of us apart from that one-year Emily joined us but this year we have three more people to celebrate with and be grateful for.
The drive to her apartment is longer than it should've been, my car feels bigger than it should feel. Nothing is the same without her here and I don't like that I feel the way I do about her.
When I get to her complex, I see her outside in a black oversized t-shirt and a blue denim shorts, rocking on the balls of her feet; two blankets in her hand, one black one red.
"Alexandre" she greets me a bit confused.
"Weren't you expecting me?" I ask her stepping outside.
"No Teresa called me five minutes ago, telling me to grab two blankets and come outside I just figured she wanted them to borrow" she says holding up the blankets.
"Well, we have something for you and they sent me to get you" I take the blankets from her.
"What is it?" she asks confused.
"You'll see" I turn away from her, walking back to the car.
"Can I drive?" she asks walking behind me.
"Of course" I open the door for her.
"Follow this" I point to the map in the dash when we get in the car and she drives off.
She looks so beautiful, at peace, focused and happy as she drives through the streets. Hair in a messy bun, the cold night air nipping at her exposed skin; rid of any make up or jewelry, just a free spirit enjoying the little things in life.
"OH!" she exclaims turning up the radio.
"I love this song" she smiles looking at me for a split second and her smile makes my heart skip a beat.
"Wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you" she sings, her voice as smooth and beautiful as a nightingale's.
"Shall I stay?"
"Would it be a sin"
"If I can't help falling in love with you?"
As I listen to her sing, she is the only thing running through my mind.
"Like a river flows"
"Surely to the sea"
"Darling, so it goes"
"Some things are meant to be"
Maybe me and her are meant to be. She has consumed me completely, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. There is not a day that goes by that I don't want to be with her, to be near her, to hold her, to touch her, to feel her, to see her.
"Take my hand"
"Take my whole life too"
"For I can't help falling in love with you"
After Isabelle, I stopped believing in love, I knew it was real because I see it every day with Teresa and Aston but I never believed that there was somebody out there for me, somebody that I could truly love and care for and vice versa. Looking at Valentina-Rosa singing and smiling, just in her bubble, being so free, having the time of her life I'm not sure I still believe that anymore.
My life changed when I met her that night, ever since then nothing in my life has been the same. I've shifted everything around to facilitate her, my whole life now revolves around her, not a day goes by where I don't think about how complete I feel when I'm around or with her.
Her smile makes me smile, her laugh makes me laugh, her touch makes me nervous, everything about her sets my heart on fire.
She's imperfectly perfect and I love her.
It's wrong, I know because she will never be mine, she belongs to another and there is nothing I can do about that. Still, she has an effect on me that even a blind man can see, she supports me in everything, she's always there for me, she makes me feel like there is more to life than just surviving, she makes me want to work harder than I already am just to give her the world. She gives me new purpose, she gives me a new perspective on life, she is all I see when I see my future.
She's intoxicating, she's heavenly, she's amazing, she's enchanting, she's inspiring, she's smart, she's funny, she's everything a man could want in a woman. Knowing that she belongs to someone else is disheartening yet I still cannot get her off my mind, I want to be around her forever, I want her in my life forever, I don't want to live a day without having her in my corner. It's hard to look directly at her, it is as if she is staring into my soul and the more I look at her the deeper in love I go. I cherish her, I appreciate her, I want to make her the happiest woman in the world even if I have to be her friend forever; I want to be able to live to see her grow, spread her wings and fly, I want to be there for every step of her life, I want to love her and care for her more than even I can understand. She understands me and I understand her and I am thankful for her. And I will forever be grateful that Carter decided to invite her and her friends to my club so many nights ago.
Not being sure but assuming that she does not and will never feel same way, breaks my heart little by little each day and I can't help but feel like a fool for falling in love with somebody that is already spoken for, somebody that will never be able to see and appreciate how much I care for them, how much I appreciate them, how much I love them, how much they mean to me. She loves somebody else and I love her and there is nothing I can do about that because the heart wants what it wants and the soul craves who it needs and there is nothing that I or anyone else can do about that.
"Like a river flows"
"Surely to the sea"
"Darling, so it goes"
"Some things are meant to be"
"Take my hand"
"Take my whole life too"
"For I can't help falling in love with you"
"For I can't help falling in love with you"
I couldn't help falling in love with you Valentina-Rosa, and I don't think that if I could I would.
There is a beauty about the pain I feel when I think of the pain you will bring me; falling in love with you is probably the most beautiful thing has happened to me in years. This pain reminds me that I am still alive and the love I have for you reminds me that nothing in life is over until it over.
***
The drive is peaceful, the trees drown out the noise of the city as we drive to our destination. The night is still young and nocturnal birds sing happily in the trees; the moon winks at us from above as if approving of the solitude we find in each other's company. The silence between us is strong and comfortable yet it speaks volumes. All the things we wish to say are said in this silence, everything that bothers us is released in this silence, trust is alive in this silence, this silence is worth more than a million conversations.
I am as lost in her as she is lost in herself, she doesn't look at me but all I see is her. She is thinking, she looks burdened and I want nothing more than to hold her in my arms and tell her that everything will be fine; that everything will get better though I do not know what it is that is bothering her.
Her mouth opens wide and her eyes go wider as she brings the car to a stop; she kills the ignition and turns to me, a priceless smile on her face. Her reaction makes my heart flutter and I'm happy that I'm the one that got to bring her here.
"This is beautiful" she says the smile not faltering for a single second.
As are you.
So cute... I just might puke.
"You like it?" I ask smiling at her.
"I do" she says opening the car door and stepping out into the night air.
"Come this way" I grab her hand gently in mine, leading her to the others.
"Hey guys" Teresa smirks looking up at us.
"You took your time" Aurora says wiggling her eyebrows.
I will never be able to understand how twenty-two-year-old women can act like teenagers and not see anything wrong with their behavior.
"This place is absolutely stunning" Valentina-Rosa smiles as I help her down the little hill.
Below and around us, there is a river, its water coming off as black as the star filled sky but in reality, is as clear as day. The moon is high in the sky and is as bright as ever, illuminating the entire river bank; the focus of her reflection is in the center of the surface of the water creating a pathway into the water that you dare not follow. The water groans and cries softly as it rushes over the rocks, trying to catch up to the streams that have floated out into the ocean before them; beneath our feet. There is grass, wild and green like young adults just hitting full bloom. The wind is playful and strong yet calm; and the nocturnal animals are going wild, making beats of every kind enjoying every bit of their lives as they should.
"What's going on guys?" Valentina-Rosa asks confused.
"This set up is beautiful, who did all this?" she asks throwing her hands around the set.
"We did" Aurora smiles hugging Teresa's shoulders from behind.
"And Aston helped a tiny bit" Teresa rolls her eyes when Aston clears his throat.
Straw mats sit on the wild grass, red sitting pillows and yellow rose petals littered above them. The mats are lined with flameless candle and there is a blackout sheet hanging from the tree before the mats, a projector laying on the floor at the appropriate proximity. In the middle of all the carpets is a low-lying picnic table; covered with Mason Jars, a juice dispenser filled with pink lemonade, disposable plates, plastic utensils, tacos, hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza, French fries, ketchup and sauces.
"So now that these two are here, is somebody going to explain what's all this?" Aria asks as Valentina-Rosa and I sit down.
"This is friends' night; don't worry, the name makes me cringe too. We have this every year to celebrate our friendship and wish for continued blessings on said friendship and our lives. It's a tradition basically" Teresa explains.
"We made the collective decision that though Alia and Aria have only been in our lives for six months and Valentina-Rosa five; we see you as family we love you and we want to spend the rest of our lives with you" Aurora says smiling gently.
"Is this a proposal?" Alia asks jokingly.
"You can call it that yes" Teresa nods her head, smiling wildly.
"Well then, we accept" Valentina-Rosa says, her voice heavy with emotion and her eyes clouded with something I can't decipher.
"She's cute isn't she T?" Aurora laughs turning to Teresa.
"Thinking she had a choice" Aurora says picking up two Mason Jars off the table.
"Right. Well, in that case we accept. Silly girl" Teresa says mockingly and all five of them laugh.
I swear girls laugh at anything because that wasn't even funny.
Or maybe you're just a humorless pig.
Shut up.
"This is for you" Aston hands Valentina-Rosa a Mason Jar with the letters "VRA" on it.
"Welcome to the family" Kyle winks at her and she smiles.
They do the same for Alia and Aria, handing them jars with their initials embedded in them and welcoming them to the family.
"It's also tradition for us to make a toast before we eat, each person gets to say either a word or two; whatever you decide to say should be something you want for yourself, for the person next to you or for everybody. You hold this yellow rose up when you speak then you pass it to the person beside you so that they may speak. The act signifies comradery and unity" Teresa explains passing papers to each of us.
"I'll go first" Aston says holding up the rose.
"Prosperity" he passes to Kyle.
"Peace" he says passing the rose to Alia.
"Good health" she passes the rose to Aria.
"An eternity" she passes the rose to Carter.
"Long life" he passes the rose to me.
"Love" I pass the rose to Valentina-Rosa and Teresa smirks at me.
"Growth" Valentina-Rosa passes the rose to Aurora.
"Happiness" she passes the rose to Teresa.
"Forever" she passes the rose back to Aston. Mason Jars clink together in the air and our night begins.
The moon watches us as we converse silently in love, the little moments don't go unnoticed and the tears that some of us shed while watching "The Notebook" and "The Fault in Our Stars" make the night more sentimental than it should've been. The night is beautiful and I doubt any of us want it to end; what I like most about it is the moments between Valentina-Rosa and I that the others are oblivious to. It's the little things that happen between us that catch my eyes; like the way she looks up at me when she thinks I'm not looking at her and the way how our eyes meet when we both look at each other at the same time when we think neither of us are looking at the other. The way her body leans into mine for a few seconds when the picks up speed and the way her fingers brush against mine when we both reach out at the same time for the same thing.
"Guys, Carter and I have something we'd like to share" Aria says when the blackout sheet goes black.
"We're listening" Teresa smirks at her, nudging Aurora's shoulder.
"We've been seeing each other for some time now" she pauses waiting for a reaction.
"Romantically" Carter adds after a few beats of silence.
"Hand me my money please" Kyle laughs making the rest of us groan.
"The both of you are horrible at sneaking around, we already knew" Alia shakes her head smiling.
"But congratulations and thank you for telling us. I'm happy for you guys" Valentina-Rosa leans over to give Aria hug.
"Congrats guys" I smile at them and Carter nods at me.
"I can't believe this; everybody is growing up right before my eyes" Teresa gushes pulling Carter into a hug.
"I'm really happy for you guys" Aurora smiles at the two of them.
"Does this mean there is finally a possibility that I'll be a best man at somebody's wedding?" Aston asks.
"Aston, they said they're together, they didn't say they were getting married; what's wrong with you?" Teresa looks at him.
"It's all the same to me" Aston shrugs at her.
"Shut up Aston" Aurora throws at piece of pizza crust at him.
Eventually the night drags to an end and it's time for us to go, we leave the river bank just as clean as it was before we borrowed it and now, we're on our way to the makeshift parking lot.
"I'll see you tomorrow as planned right love?" Teresa asks Valentina-Rosa as we say our goodbyes.
"After tonight I doubt I have a choice" she smiles at her.
"Attagirl" she pulls her into a hug.
Fifteen minutes into the drive from the river to her apartment Valentina-Rosa falls asleep; head against the window, body turned to me. Her face is relaxed and she looks at peace. Her mouth is slightly open and light snores pass through it; the red blanket she brought with her is pulled up under chin and her arms are crossed underneath.
Simply the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
"Je t'aime, mon ange" I whisper to her as I drive through the dark and lonely streets.
*****************************************
a/n: Ugh Alexandre is so poetic it's almost cute fr.
Yellow Rose signify friendship btw.
I also feel like this chapter will go over so many people's heads; especially toast but you'll see.
I'm also 3 chapters away from my favourite chapter I think I'm a little too excited.
Anyways, thank you so so much for reading.
Glossary
1. Merde Alexandre, pourquoi fais-tu ça – Shit Alexandre, why did you do that?
2. Isabelle, regarde-moi – Isabelle, look at me.
3. Alexandre ce qui ne va pas chez toi? – Alexandre what's wrong with you?
4. Je ne comprends pas mon amour – I don't understand my love.
5. Je t'aime – I love you.
6. Tu m'aimes – You love me.
7. Nous sommes amoureux – We are in love.
8. Pourquoi tu me fais mal comme ça mon amour? – Why are you hurting me like that my love?
9. S'il te plait – Please.
10. Que voulez-vous Alexandre? – What do you want Alexandre ?
11. Ce n'est pas ce que tu veux mon amour, c'est ce que tu mérites – It's not what you want my love, it's what you deserve.
Word Count: 4152.