AN: Hey! So I procrastinated life and the result is this chapter! Enjoy! TW: Mentions of conversion therapy, drugs and a wee bit of sexual tension.....
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"Shelby." Toni gave the sleeping girl a slight shake. "Get up."
The dishevelled blonde groaned slightly and mumbled, "What time is it?"
"It's..." Toni checked the clock at her bedside, "5:30. You sober?"
"Unfortunately," Shelby responded miserably "I feel awful."
"Well luckily for you there's an abundance of drugs in this house. Advil? Pepto? Heroin?" Toni joked.
Shelby look horrified. "There is not actually heroin here is there?"
Purely due to the look of absolute distress and judgement of Shelby's face, Toni lied, "Nope, only kidding. I've got some Advil here." She passed Shelby the water and meds that she was holding on to.
"Don't scare me like that!" Shelby chuckled weakly, wincing lightly at the motion.
Toni did not think that Carol was going to be back any time soon but she was anxious that she would be caught with Shelby in the house. She didn't even want to think how Carol would react to that. The mere thought sent chills down her spine. Toni turned on the lamp, which flickered faintly before turning on properly. "Are you okay to go home? Are your parents going to be pissed at you?"
It was as though what Toni had announced flicked a switch in Shelby that caused her to go from content to distraught. Tears welled up in her eyes and Toni could see her reach for the cross that was no longer hanging around her neck. "Hey are you okay?" Toni asked, growing worried over Shelby's sudden change in demeanour.
"I'm fine-" Shelby shook her head and met Toni's eyes. "Actually, I don't think I am. My dad organised for my friend Becca to get 'help'." She punctuated the word 'help' with air quotes. "She left this morning."
Toni's heart sank. She had heard the conversation between Shelby and her dad weeks earlier, she knew what this meant but she had to ask anyway, "What do you mean by help?"
"Conversion therapy, Toni. And I have no..." She hesitated slightly, "I have no fucking idea what they are doing to her."
Toni was at a complete loss for words. Heat built in her chest as anger rose to the surface. To think that there were people out there that even think it is possible to get someone to change who they are is disgusting. And she knew the methods people used, the lengths some people would go to under the guise of 'help'.
She sat down next to Shelby, not quite sure what to say, "Shelby, I'm so sorry-" Suddenly Shelby's arms were wrapped around her. Toni flinched slightly at the unexpected contact. There was an awkward moment where Toni was simply sat in shock at the interaction and Shelby was stiffly curled up against her before Toni gently took her in her arms.
Only then did Shelby let her tears fall. Toni could feel her body shaking with silent sobs. Toni was not the one that people generally came to for comfort. She had a suspicion that even Martha confided in other members of the friendship group over her. They obviously thought that she had enough problems without the addition of theirs. It made for an almost nice change to be trusted in someone else's moment of vulnerability. To be let behind the wall.
Shelby clutched onto her and sobbed for a long time. Neither of them spoke. Toni wasn't sure how helpful she was really being. Aside from the occasional stoke of the arm or shushing noise, she didn't really know what to do.
When Shelby stopped crying her entire demeanour took a U-turn. "Wow," She grimaced. "I am so sorry for crying on you like that. I don't know what came over me."
Toni straightened up, stretched and cracked her back. "It's fine Shelby. But honestly you're kind of worrying me lately. The other week... And now this. Should you be working the 12 steps?"
"12 steps?" Shelby questioned, clearly not understanding the reference.
"Don't worry about it. Dumb joke. Have you got any friends or anyone from the Jesus club that you can talk to about all this?"
Shelby's face fell. "I don't... I don't know- not really? I think I keep coming to you because you understand best?" She said uncertainly.
"What part of your life am I going to even remotely understand?"
"T-the gay thing?" Shelby stuttered quietly before her eyes went wide. "Not with me! With Becca obviously, but you have different opinions to the ones I was raised with and... I think I like yours better. They make more sense."
Toni chuckled at the girls defensiveness. "Shelbs, chill. You're not gay, I know. You really don't need to keep telling me." She wasn't sure when or why, but a bitter tone slipped into her voice as she spoke.
Shelby didn't seem to notice. "You said that last night as well," She said, snapping Toni out of her thoughts.
"Said what?"
"Shelbs."
Toni was so caught up in reprimanding Shelby that she hadn't even realised that she had said that. It had just slipped out without her thinking. Well I'm just gonna have to own it now, Toni decided. "Yeah, it rolls off the tongue easier than Shelby."
Shelby looked unconvinced but left it at that. Toni was starting to get nervous about Carol coming home. Sometimes when she was day-drinking she finished off the night at home and other times she was out all night. It really was luck of the draw but Toni was not really in a place to rely on luck. "Shelby I am really sorry about what you're going through with Becca, your family and your faith. I want to help you but It isn't safe for you to be here. For both of us. Are you okay to go home? Or do you have a friend that lives nearby who I can walk you to?"
Shelby's eyebrows pulled together in sympathy and something else that Toni recognised. Fear. "I wish I could stay here." Shelby muttered to herself. She looked up at Toni like a deer in headlights. It was obvious that she hadn't intended to say that out loud. Toni assumed she might have still been a little bit drunk.
"Wow, careful, it's starting to look like you tolerate my company," She teased. She was struck by an unexpected feeling that maybe she wished Shelby could stay too.
There was a poorly suppressed smile trying to break out on Shelby's face and Toni couldn't help but smile back. "Look, Shelby, I have a place we can go to buy a few hours if you still don't want to go home. Grab a coat, let's go."
Toni turned on her heel and walked out of the room, smirking as she heard Shelby struggling to get up and out of bed.
"Wait where are we going? I don't have a coat. Toni!" Shelby threw off the duvet and ran after Toni who was already on her way out. Toni looked over her shoulder only to see that Shelby had clearly forgotten that she was half naked.
"As much as I enjoy-" She gestured vaguely at Shelby who was flailing her arms around trying to cover herself. "-this, do you not think you'll be a bit chilly in the sub-freezing temperatures outside?" She smirked.
Shelby surprised her then by dropping her arms and retorting, "Oh please. You have no upper ground here I've seen you half dressed as well."
Toni was speechless, where did Miss. Wait-til-marriage, Texas pageant queen who slept in a separate bed to her boyfriend go? "Lucky you, not many people get the pleasure."
Shelby groaned in frustration and stalked back off to the bedroom to get dressed. "Also Shelby!" Toni called out, "Humans also typically wear boots and a coat outside in winter as well, just in case you're tempted to walk out in flip-flops."
Shelby had nearly rounded the corner but Toni could just make out the raised middle finger before she disappeared into Toni's bedroom again to get changed.
Eventually Shelby emerged, fully dressed this time. She had put her same hoodie and joggers on but wore Toni's hat, gloves, coat and boots. She looks good in my clothes- Toni hoped her blind panic at that thought didn't show on her face. She tried to cover up how flustered she was by joking, "I see you've familiarised yourself with my wardrobe."
Shelby glared at her and ignored the comment. "So, where we going?"
Toni put on her coat and grabbed her backpack. "You'll see."
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The basketball court was thankfully empty. The floodlights flickered on as Toni walked through the gate. It was only a half-court with one hoop but Toni had been coming here for years. She was lucky that it was only a five minute walk from Carols'. The feeling she got when she stepped onto the court could only be described as arriving home. Or the closest she was ever going to get to that feeling.
She unzipped her backpack and pulled out her basketball. It was years old and looked it. She got it from her old foster mom, Mrs Conners, who she was with for two years until she died when Toni was 15. Toni had never spoken about her since her death and never intended to. The ball was signed by all of her friends. The ink was faded but she would still read it.
"Catch," She said tossing the ball towards Shelby who stuck her hands out to cover her face, the ball bounced off her hands and dropped pathetically to the floor. "It's not a volleyball, Shelby," Toni chuckled, jogging off to pick it up.
"Sports..." Shelby trailed off, seemingly traumatised at the mere mention of the word.
"Oh please don't tell me you're one of those girls. Everyone above the age of 9 can catch a ball, being a delicate princess does not change that."
"It's just the nails... Pageant stuff." Shelby quickly surmised.
Toni tossed the ball, avoiding the rim and backboard completely as it swooshed through the hoop. Man she missed this. "Well, it's either this or go home." She retrieved the ball again.
"Ohh... Well... I don't know-" Suddenly Shelby lunged forward and grabbed the ball where Toni was mindlessly dribbling it. With both hands she raised the ball over her head, bent backwards at the waist and heaved forward, propelling the ball at the hoop. Well, at the hoop was inaccurate seeing as the ball hit the tarmac about a metre away from where it was thrown.
"The position you just contorted yourself into- what- I didn't even know that was possible for the human body."
"Sorry," Shelby huffed in faux indignation, out of breath from the sudden exertion. "My form was immaculate."
Toni couldn't help but burst out laughing "It reminded me of those weird flailing balloon men that they put outside car dealerships," she managed in between chuckles.
Shelby rolled her eyes, retrieved the ball and started lining up to the hoop as though she was gonna try again. Toni decided she couldn't bare to watch her sport be so horrifically butchered. As Shelby bent back into that same laughing seagull position, Toni jogged up behind her and plucked the ball out of her hands. "Nope," she declared, "Not again. I can't watch this again. I'm gonna show you okay?"
Toni spun the ball of her finger before assuming proper form and sinking the ball. "See? No need for the weird-" Toni couldn't explain it so she mimicked Shelby's bizarre movement, groaning as she bend backwards. she straightened up, wheezing slightly. "Well, something like that. I can't actually manoeuvre my body in the way you did without snapping in two," She chuckled, bending forward and touching her toes to alleviate the ache in her back.
"Okay smart aleck. I haven't been playing basketball since I was in diapers like you."
"I actually didn't start until I was 13. So no excuses."
"Oh? How did you get into it?"
Toni regretted correcting her. The last thing she wanted was to think about Mrs Conners. She cleared her throat and handed the ball to Shelby. "It's a long story; I'll tell you another time. Right try and do what I did."
Shelby started arching her back slightly but stopped when Toni, without thinking, reached out and, with one hand on her back and the other on her stomach, corrected her posture. "Thanks" Shelby whispered, but Toni stayed in place. In that instant everything changed.
The air between them shifted and the world went silent. Shelby breathed heavily and dropped the ball. It bounced off into the distance. She turned around, letting Toni's hands fall into to place on her waist. "Toni," she breathed, taking a step forward.
Shelby was close enough now that Toni could feel her breath against her cheek. Toni wasn't even thinking at this point, just running on autopilot. She brought a hand up to Shelby's neck who moved to meet her touch. Toni's heart rate picked up when Shelby closed her eyes and started to lean forward. She could feel everything, it was as though her skin became 2 times more sensitive in the presence of Shelby. Her laboured breathing whispering across her face, the hand scrunching the back of her coat, and the warmth of Shelby's skin beneath her fingertips. She closed her eyes.
It all fell apart when a car drove past them; it was a group of boys whistling and cheering from the open windows. "Get it girls!" They yelled.
Shelby jerked away before Toni had even opened her eyes. "Toni- I-" Shelby was absolutely frantic. Small clouds appeared in front of her face rapidly due to her panicked, heaving breaths.
"Shelby, I'm so sorry. Please I..." Toni didn't really know what to say, she was still reeling from the whole encounter.
"I can't go home. Not now. I can't see them. I can't see you though." She sounded on the verge of tears. Toni felt helpless, watching the girl pace with her hands tangled up in her hair.
"Shelby I can take you to a friend's or-"
"I don't have any friends Toni! Why do you think I hang out with you? I don't have any other options!"
Toni flinched. Sorry that she had chosen to let down her guard around Shelby. "Fuck you Shelby."
"Wait Toni," Shelby cried and ran forward, grabbing Toni's jacket before she had the chance to walk away.
"What? This morning you asked why I hate you. Truth be told, I don't. I actually like you. Maybe you need to have a think about that question and take a look at your own behaviour. I think you'll find that you're the one with the hate. Not me."
"I don't hate you Toni. I think it is pretty obvious now that I like you." She dipped her head so Toni couldn't see her eyes. "More than I should."