14 February, 2006
Mata Rani Temple, Lodhi Road
It had been an oddly dim day for the Raizada. Anjali was fostering a seven month belly. Her days had been oscillating between depression and confusion. It had been precisely three months since her excuse of a husband's true colours had been revealed to her, rather dramatically.
Nandkishore had taken painstaking efforts to expose the truth of his brother-in-law. He fully understood and had faith in Khushi. The revelation had left them all stunned like a rock. They couldn't fathom, how a man they had known for approximately four years could be so varied from their understanding of him.
Anjali had been numb; lost, looking for some sort of semblance. Life stopped making sense to her. She herself stopped making sense. There was a long silence on her part. She felt nauseous. And she wasn't sure if it had been because of the truth that had unfurled or the rambunctious baby in her womb.
She had failed to realise how she had ended up there. And when someone had asked her where the father of her baby was, at the temple, Anjali had had an anxiety attack. She had felt so burdened with the truth, she didn't want to take care of herself.
Manorama, Manohar, Devyani, Payal, Aakash and even Arnav had accompanied Anjali to the temple. They were too scared to see the ragged doll that Anjali resembled. And when Manorama had tried to fight Anjali's battles, a firm hand had stopped her. The hand belonged to Payal; metaphorically and literally.
"Why won't you let me go Khoon Bhari Tang." Manorama had admonished her, as they stood a little far away from Anjali and the person in question.
"Di needs us." Arnav had said hurriedly, attempting to step ahead. However, Payal had simply shook her head and stopped him from going.
That was the first time in his life, Arnav had felt scared of Payal. The resolve in her eye so firm that he knew even blasting wouldn't break.
"Di needs herself more than she needs us. We cannot be always taking care of her. We can't be shadowing her from the world. She needs to find her footing.." Payal said, a sigh escaping at the latter part. "Just like Khushi did." She added in a soft whisper.
Arnav had looked at Payal with a hurt expression. The mention of Khushi seemed to be his undoing. Before he could blast at her, he saw Payal pointing towards Anjali.
"I left the baby's father aunty. He did not deserve the love that we both showered on him."
Payal smiled a little proudly.
"How come..?" Arnav looked dumbfounded. He had expected his sister to start crying or have a prolonged anxiety attack. He looked around the faces of his family members. They held a mix of pride and confusion in their eyes.
"Sometimes it is better to let a broken person deal with their own problems. Otherwise, they fail to stand up for themselves." Payal told them, firmly.
A ghost of a smile appeared on Arnav's face as he saw his sister take farewell of the lady. She walked towards the deity confidently and it sent a warm sensation through his body.
Payal took everyone's silence as understanding. Holding on to Aakash's arm, she pulled him towards the main mandir. It had been one year to their marriage today. And she had relented to Anjali's wish to visit the temple. In the past couple of months —the way things that unfolded— Payal had felt her faith been rocked from the inside.
However, she lauded Anjali for her effort. Despite her despondencies and her almost crushed soul, Anjali had retained her faith in the almighty. That had been the one thing that had kept her sane in the whole ordeal.
"Pandit jee, let's begin the veneration." Anjali forwarded the thali to the priest. In the past couple of days, she had come to terms with a lot of things. One thing that was left persistent was the love for her family.
She just seemed to be more mindful and grateful for it. Anjali passed a smile to Payal that was a mix of love and gratitude.
Faith was not the only thing that had helped the harrowed soul. There had been a mighty contribution on the part of Payal in helping Anjali find her confidence and her semblance.
"Di. Look at these women. I know it is wrong to compare struggles, but they very obviously have had things difficult. I know, it feels like the end of the world right now. Believe you me, I would have felt the same if I were ever in your place. But I think, you should be a little more grateful of your privilege and condition. You have a family who is ready to throw petals on the path you walk on. They are here to make you feel comfortable. But these women have no one." Payal had said three days ago.
Payal had brought Anjali to a women's shelter in Jangpura. Anjali had looked at the faces of the women. Most of them had nothing to call their own, but they had the determination to change it. They lived in two pairs of clothes; but the smiles of confidence made them rather beautiful.
"We women tend to make men our everything. And that is our first mistake. In the past couple of months, I have realised it is important to have your own pehchaan! Something my younger sister understood quite early. She's paved a path for the Raizadas to bring change. For us to be more than the people who tend and serve men."
A soft sigh escaped the lips of the two Raizada women. It was very evident, they lived in a very patriarchal family, even with the existence of a strong matriarch.
"I really think the both of us should learn something from these women. And Khushi! Let's make something of ourselves. Not to prove anything. But just so, the next time something ever happens in our family.. We are better prepared and equipped. So that for the smallest of our needs, we don't have to rely on someone else." Anjali nodded really slowly, still in thought.
Payal would have missed the action if she had not been looking at her intently. Feeling her acquiesce, Payal added.
"We need to step out in the real world if we want for it to change. It doesn't happen sitting at home. What Khushi did for herself, is so unconventional. But I have seen the change she has brought in herself. And I want to be in a position where I am not jealous but I gain from her strength. I want to be able to find myself when I look in the mirror. Not a wife, a daughter-in-law or a mother. I want to see Payal. Not Raizada nor Gupta. Just Payal."
"And I want to see Anjali."
A tap on her shoulder brought Anjali from her memory. Payal smiled as she passed the kumkum, waiting for her sister-in-law to put a dot on her forehead. Once the Aarti was done, the Raizadas head to Shantivan.
As they all settled in the living room, Anjali stood at the threshold, her one hand resting on her protruding belly.
"Payal and I would like to work." She announced.
Anjali shook her head as she heard the members of the family gasp in surprise.
"Why Di? Do you feel some kind of lacking in the house?"
Chuckling, Anjali shook her head. She fondly tussled her brother's hair and told him.
"I find something lacking in me Chote. And I know, I will never be able to find myself. Not unless I make something out of myself."
Devyani nodded. The fortitude and experience in her eyes had made her come to terms with this demand a long time ago. And she was somehow happy that her granddaughter had finally asked something for herself. For her own growth.
"Is there something you would like to do?" Devyani enquired, before Arnav could argue.
"There is a women's shelter in Jangpura. So I would like to volunteer there." Anjali told the family.
Nodding, the matriarch looked at her daughter-in-law. There was an unfettered spark in her eyes, quite akin to her own sister.
"What about you Payal?"
"Nani Jee, I was hoping to study further and get a MBA."
"Well, then it's settled." Manorama chimed in. Seeing the smile on her mother-in-law's face, Payal's smile grew bigger.
"I will find some brochures of management colleges for you bitiya. You don't have to worry about anything." Manohar fondly caressed her hair.
"Thank you."
Payal smiled as Aakash forwarded the cup of tea to her. A small gesture on his part to show his support to her endeavour. Devyani noticed that Arnav had a hurt expression but he was happy to see the change in his sister. And till the time Anjali is happy, Arnav is happy.
Devyani Raizada realised; Khushi Kumari Gupta had brought a welcome change to the family. And they were all quite happy about it.
-21.04.2021
Tada!