Arthur dragged himself through the corridors of the castle. Everywhere he went there was something to do; they had barely managed to overcome Lord Brynmor's forces and they had been dealt a lot of damage. Servants scurried past carrying water, bandages and supplies. He knew what a sight he must be, covered in blood and dirt, stumbling from exhaustion every few steps, but after the day he had faced he couldn't bring himself to care. All he wanted was to go to his chambers, sink into a hot bath and sleep for about a week, but he knew he wasn't finished yet. Besides, the sooner he rested the sooner he would have to face the issue of Merlin. Not only the question of his magic, of course; the root they had gone to so much trouble to retrieve was still sat in Arthur's packed saddlebags, meaning Merlin still hadn't been cured of the damned love potion.
Arthur was so distracted by thoughts of Merlin he didn't notice Gaius' approach until he was almost on top of him. "Sire!"
Arthur jumped. "Gaius. My apologies it... it's been a long day."
"Not at all, Sire. At least we have Merlin back to normal now. Have you seen him anywhere? I could use his help with the wounded but I haven't seen him since your return."
"No, I - back to normal?" Arthur asked, feeling incredibly confused. Perhaps he had misheard him in his tiredness.
"Well yes, since the potion has worn off. Entirely my fault, Sire, if I had only taken another day to research I could have spared you the whole trip, and potentially avoided all of this mess. I simply didn't anticipate the effects of the potion Lady Mair used would only last a day or two." Gaius raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Merlin is back to normal, isn't he?"
Arthur's mind raced as he struggled to maintain his composure: "Yes, completely - well, as normal as Merlin ever is. I was just... confused how you knew."
"Ah. Further study and time, simply. If you see Merlin, would you send him my way? If you can spare him, of course." Gaius bowed slightly and continued down the corridor. Arthur stood for a moment longer, trying to process the implications of what Gaius had told him. If Gaius was right and Merlin was already himself again, surely he would have said so? When had it worn off - most importantly, before or after Arthur had given in to his desire? If the spell had been broken, if Merlin had wanted him too, perhaps that meant some of his other feelings, feelings he had been fighting so hard to contain, may be returned as well. Eventually he reached a decision; the only person who could truly tell him what this all meant was Merlin, and they were long overdue a talk.
The warlock in question had also made a choice. He had finally snuck back into Gaius' chambers, having been avoiding them while he prepared himself so he didn't have to face any questions. Quietly he packed up his belongings and some rations, left a note for Gaius on his pillow and, steeling himself, set off for his final stop. He knew he couldn't stay here now. Arthur may not be planning to execute him but he knew he couldn't possibly trust him again. Merlin had hurt him too deeply to hope for that. And if Arthur couldn't trust him, there was no way he could ever feel anything more for him - anything like the rising tide of desperate feeling that threatened to drown Merlin every time he so much as looked at his face. So he had to leave. He would look over Arthur from afar and just had to hope he was on the path to become the king he was destined to be. He soon reached Arthur's chambers, quietly glad the knights were all preoccupied outside, sparing him a few more painful goodbyes. The guards usually stationed outside were gone too, likely too busy with the aftermath of the battle to be here. He paused at the doors, holding his breath as he listened for sounds of Arthur within. Hearing nothing he pushed open the door, note in hand.
"Merlin." Arthur sat at his table, forearms resting on his knees. He looked so tired; Merlin's mind was frozen in shock, but he could still see that much. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't leave without telling Arthur anything, but he didn't know if he could face this in person. Arthur gazed at him curiously, as if wondering what the outcome of Merlin's internal debate would be, but saying nothing more. Eventually Merlin entered the room, walking slowly over to the table. Arthur gestured at another chair and Merlin took the invitation, sitting and staring into his lap. He struggled to find the words - they had been hard enough to locate when writing his letter and were buried even deeper now he had to say them out loud.
A voice spoke up: "I'm sorry." Merlin's head whipped up in surprise.
"...what?"
A wry smile came to Arthur's face. "You heard me." The smile faded, his expression once again sincere. "I think I can understand why you hid your magic, Merlin. If my father had found out it would have meant your death and..." he glanced away, taking a deep breath, "I gave you no reason to think I would have been any different to him."
"You are not your father, Arthur. I know that, I just - I know what your father taught you, how he raised you. I didn't want you to hate me," he finished, his voice feeling small and pathetic.
Arthur smiled softly. "I don't hate you, Merlin. You saved my life. You've saved me twice in the last three days!" he laughed dryly. "And I'm beginning to realise those were not the only times. I - I still struggle with magic but I know it is not as simple as my father wanted me to think. I believe it's about the person who wields it, and I know you are a good person."
Merlin couldn't help but grin widely. "Glad to know you don't hate me!" he said, feeling tears of relief threatening to fall.
Arthur's smile slipped slightly. He knew what he had to ask next. He clasped his hands tightly together and steeled himself for Merlin's answer. "And how do you feel about me?"
Merlin's smile flickered. Pain tightened his chest; he immediately quashed, sitting back in the chair with a forced chuckle. He had to tell him the truth. After all the years of hiding he couldn't lie any longer. His only mercy was that Arthur wouldn't realise he truly meant it. "Well you know that! I'm in love with you!"
"Even now the love potion's worn off?"
Merlin's stomach fell through his feet. He knew. How could he possibly know? He felt like he couldn't breathe; if he hadn't done enough damage to their bond before, now he had surely destroyed it completely. Arthur couldn't possibly feel the same - what little hope he had sheltered that Arthur's touches may be driven by something more than simple lust or a desire to placate his bewitched manservant had long since died when he saw the pain in Arthur's eyes at discovering his magic. And now Arthur knew at least some of what had happened between them was Merlin's own choice. He couldn't hide that. A single tear slipped from the corner of his eye. "Yes."
Arthur buried his face in his hands, hiding his reaction. "So you knew? Since when? And why didn't you say anything?!"
Merlin's chin dropped to his chest as he tried to hold back the rest of his tears. "Of course I knew. It was in the cave, just before you found the root. I tried to tell you but you didn't listen to me and, well..." he sniffed, passing a hand over his eyes, "I was afraid it would stop." He heard Arthur's breath catch but carried on, the words pouring out of him like a dam had broken. "The infatuation disappeared but everything else I felt was still there. I think it had been there for a long time, actually. And I thought if I told you, we'd go back to how we used to be. I didn't want that. I wanted all the time I could get with you. I liked being able to kiss you, touch you," he risked a look back at Arthur and, to his surprise, he saw everything he was feeling mirrored in his eyes; desire, desperation, love. The words stopped. He didn't need to say any more; he needed to hear, now.
"I love you, too." Arthur saw Merlin's face split with the brightest smile he had ever seen as a few more tears slipped from his eyes. He felt his own lips give an answering smile as warmth exploded in his chest, spreading to fill every inch of his body with sunlight. He stretched out a hand to Merlin who reached back. Arthur finally noticed the piece of paper Merlin held and gave him a questioning look.
"Ah," Merlin chuckled, "I, er, I was going to leave this for you before I...left Camelot."
Arthur frowned. "You don't still want to leave, do you?" Merlin shook his head firmly. "Good," Arthur continued and grabbed Merlin's hand as he stood, pulling him in to stand chest to chest. "Because I have no intention of ever letting you go." With a cocky grin he leaned in and kissed the man he loved. It was tender this time - there was no hurry, no frantic desperation between them. Their lips parted and their tongues found each other, teasing and tasting. Arthur heard the note flutter to the ground as Merlin's hands came up and tangled themselves in his hair. He slipped an arm around Merlin's waist, needing him closer. They stumbled towards the bed. Neither one was willing to break the kiss so they made their way blindly; eventually they bumped into it and Arthur lost his balance, falling onto it and pulling Merlin with him. They broke into laughter, Merlin burying his face in Arthur's neck.
Merlin propped himself up, gazing down into Arthur's eyes. He could see his desire and reached for him, pulling him up into another kiss. Soon, though, Merlin pulled away, seeming to want to find new parts of Arthur to explore with his lips. Arthur felt them along his neck, kissing and sucking, pulling gasps and moans from his own mouth. Slowly they crept down to his collarbone. Finding his shirt in the way Merlin grumbled slightly - not wanting Merlin annoyed Arthur gently pushed him up and rid himself of the offending item. Merlin swiftly followed suit before returning to his task.
He took his time, tracing the contours of Arthur's chest and abdomen with his tongue. Arthur was swiftly reduced to a desperately panting mess. He groaned as Merlin finally reached the bulge in his trousers, mouthing teasingly over the cloth. "Please, Merlin..." Arthur gasped. Merlin pulled away; Arthur groaned, searching for Merlin's eyes with his own, confusion and need all over his face.
Merlin kissed his lips softly and murmured, avoiding his eyes, "I want more. I want you inside." Arthur had never seen anything as beautiful or sexy as Merlin, with a crimson blush overtaking his face, asking for that. He wrapped his arms around Merlin and rolled him onto the bed, shifting him to lie in the middle of the mattress. He removed his own trousers first, using the time to return the careful attention Merlin's tongue had paid his neck, covering him with wet kisses punctuated with soft nips and soothing strokes of his tongue, then reached down for Merlin's. He stroked Merlin's erection through his under clothes, repaying him for the earlier teasing. He didn't have the patience to keep it up for long; the noises Merlin was making were going to drive him mad. Swiftly he removed the last of their clothes and nudged Merlin's legs apart. He brushed stray hair from Merlin's eyes and brought his fingers to Merlin's mouth. Merlin readily took his fingers in, sucking on them greedily. The sight of Merlin spread beneath him, wantonly sucking on his fingers, threatened to tip Arthur over the edge. Reluctantly, he pulled them out, leaving Merlin gasping in their absence. He reached down between Merlin's legs, finding his entrance and circling it before gently pushing in with a finger.
Merlin shut his eyes tightly, a small whimper escaping his lips. Arthur froze. "Shall I stop?" Merlin shook his head forcefully, letting out a slow breath. Once he could feel him relaxing, Arthur continued, letting Merlin get used to the feeling of a finger slowly moving in and out. Gradually Merlin's gasps became ones of pleasure instead of pain. Arthur tried a second finger. Merlin's hands shot up, grasping Arthur's biceps and squeezing. Again, Arthur paused, but when Merlin finally opened his eyes all he could see in them were pleasure and lust.
"Don't stop," he pleaded. Arthur leaned in to kiss him as he continued to move his fingers. Suddenly Merlin broke the kiss with a gasp, his head falling back and his fingers tightening on Arthur's arms. Gently Arthur rubbed the same spot, eliciting a gorgeous stream of moans and cries from Merlin. Not wanting the noises to stop he instead began to nibble at Merlin's neck as he added a third finger. Gradually a word formed in all Merlin's gasps: "Wait...wait..." Arthur paused. "Now, Arthur. I need you now."
Arthur moaned against his neck and withdrew his fingers. His own cock was beginning to leak and he spread the fluid along his length to lubricate himself. He pulled Merlin's hips closer, lining himself up at his entrance. He glanced up at Merlin, his eyes asking silently one final time. Merlin smiled softly and nodded. He pushed his hips forward, feeling slight resistance quickly give way as he entered. Merlin gasped, a slight flicker of pain in his face. Arthur paused, his heart aching at knowing he was causing the pain, but Merlin met his eyes and, seeing his hesitation, wrapped his legs around Arthur's waist, pulling him in.
They gasped and groaned together as Arthur slowly filled Merlin. When he was fully inside he held still, giving Merlin time to adjust and himself a chance to calm down. After a few moments he began to move. Merlin moaned at the feeling, clinging to Arthur for dear life as his thrusts and the pleasure began to build, rocking his own hips in time. Arthur bit the inside of his cheek. The sensations were too strong; the heat and tightness were enough to overwhelm him already.
Merlin's breath hitched and he tightened around Arthur as he rubbed against his most sensitive spot; Arthur shifted slightly to focus his attention there. His thrusts grew rougher as he felt his climax build. Knowing he couldn't hold back much longer he took hold of Merlin's swollen cock and began to pump. "Arthur, please..." Merlin groaned. Their eyes met just in time for Arthur to see that flash of gold in them as Merlin came over his chest, the tightening of his channel around Arthur pushing him to his own gasping climax. Arthur watched as the gold faded back to blue; it was quite a beautiful colour, really. He lowered himself down as the bliss faded, nuzzling into Merlin's neck.
"I love you," he whispered. Slowly he pulled out and collapsed beside Merlin. He then immediately sat up, unable to believe what he was seeing. It was snowing. Inside his bedroom. He glanced down at Merlin who looked back sheepishly.
"Sorry. Turns out I struggle to control my magic at... that moment," he said with a nervous grin. Arthur burst out laughing. He lay back down beside him.
"Can you make it stop? It's kind of cold." Merlin waved a hand and his eyes flashed again; the snow disappeared. Arthur sighed happily. "We should sleep. Lots to do tomorrow between dealing with the results of Lord Brynmor's attempted coup, and making magic legal again."
Merlin jumped so high it was a miracle he stayed in the bed. "What?!"
Arthur chuckled. "Well I can't leave it illegal for the man I love to exist. Besides, magic isn't evil. I will not punish all magic users for the actions of a few."
Merlin smiled and settled in beside him, pulling Arthur into his arms. "A wise decision, my king," he teased. He continued, more seriously, "Thank you, Arthur. This is everything I have ever wanted."
"Me too." Arthur kissed him one final time before they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, looking forward to tomorrow and the better future it would bring.