Chapter Eight
Daniel was utterly and completely confused when it came to Miss Jane Alcott. There was something about her, he’d said that her face, but what it was he could not put his finger on.
She was so compassionate and caring, she’d shown him that when she listened to his pathetic stories earlier in the day. She’d actually amazed him. He felt as though he could tell her anything and she would know what to say to make him feel better. Jane had already made him feel better when it came to Eleanor’s death, and that feeling was not one that he liked. He did not want to forgive himself, but he couldn’t help but see sense in Jane’s attempts to heal him.
She was simply astonishing.
Deciphering his feelings towards her were not helped when she looked as she did when she walked into the Duke of Chatsworth’s ball. Daniel nearly swallowed his tongue as she descended into the room.
She looked ravishing, effortlessly so. Daniel had always thought that Lady Emilia was the beauty of the ton but now he knew that Jane outshone her in every possible way. Even from where he was standing he could see her pretty blue eyes shining from the other side of the room. Her dark curls were beautifully pinned away from her face and her sky blue gown made her skin look like perfect china.
It was observations like these that made him feel like he was committing adultery, as Jane had pointed out to him, as his mind immediately went to Eleanor. He loved her fiercely, he always would. He didn’t know if he would ever be able to stop loving her in order to invite someone else into his heart. The women that he took, or ruined, they didn’t mean anything to him, he didn’t see their faces, only their bodies, the bodies that could help him escape.
But seeing Jane’s face, her body and her beautiful nature all in one frightened him. It made him remember his responsibilities, not only to Sabine, but to himself.
He thought about Sabine every day. He wondered what she was doing, what she was learning, what she was eating ... but after talking with Jane he now wondered what she thought of him. Did she hate him? Did she think that he didn’t love her?
He watched Jane as she took in all the sights; he pretended that he didn’t see her look pleased as she saw all the officers. None would be good enough for Jane, they enjoyed their drink and their women far too much, but then again, who was he to talk? He’d nearly drunk an entire bottle of wine to himself that morning and proceeded to tell her a story that most likely made her think of him as weak.
He saw Emilia take Jane directly over to the host, the Duke and his nephew, George Orwell who was a bigger rake than Daniel himself, except he disguised it with a sly smile and a suave personality. Daniel didn’t have the patience to charm.
Emilia introduced Jane to George who kissed her knuckles and looked at her with desire. Daniel’s blood boiled inside of him as he watched it. He would challenge that man to a duel before he let him corrupt Jane. She was a hundred times more pure than him and deserved a man a hundred times better.
Daniel had to look away from the sight so he quickly made his way over to the refreshments table and seized a crystal glass of champagne and downed it in seconds.
“Why, Lord Southerby, you’re looking handsome this evening,” said a shrill voice behind him. Daniel turned around to see Miss Arabella Scott standing behind him in a pretty pink ball gown that left nothing to the imagination with such a low neckline. Arabella Scott was the daughter of Sir Vernon Scott, and one of the many women he’d corrupted. Of course, his escapades with Arabella were not publically known but it didn’t stop Arabella from seeking him out at every party he went to. She wasn’t ugly, not at all, she had dirty blonde hair and pale green eyes but she was not attractive to him. He was positive all Arabella wanted was his title and fortune.
“Miss Scott, I suggest you go and find another to talk to, for you are wasting your time with me,” Daniel said bluntly as he picked up another glass from the table.
Arabella pouted and folded her arms across her chest which enhanced her bust. “Perhaps talking was not what I had in mind,” she attempted to say seductively.
Daniel sighed and looked down at the young girl. “Miss Scott, please leave before I lose my temper. I’m sure you will find better luck with some of the officers.” With that he retreated back to his original position in the room, a position where he had a good view of Jane.
As he was walking he scanned the ballroom for Jane almost desperately, he got the sudden fear that she had disappeared into the house with George Orwell. Could he possibly have ruined her so quickly? As he stepped in front of two women walking towards the dancing circle he noticed that it was Jane walking arm in arm with Lady Emilia.
He could not have been more relieved. “Good evening, ladies,” he smiled, trying to hide his delight in the fact that George Orwell was nowhere to be seen.
“Lord Southerby,” Emilia managed to get out, although her politeness was dwindling. Daniel knew that Lady Emilia did not care for him.
Daniel decided to tease Emilia by reminding Jane of their planned dance. He would get through the night looking forward to it. “I’m looking forward to our waltz later this evening, Miss Alcott, I do not forget.” His eyes took in Jane’s appearance close up. She was very small woman, he had not noticed how little she was before then. She was very thin and narrow yet her sharp blue eyes let him know she was a spitfire.
Jane froze at his comment which let him know that she had not yet told Emilia of their plans, not to mention the fact that she met with him that morning.
“Excuse us,” Emilia said icily as she pulled Jane away from him to no doubt interrogate her.
He watched as Emilia pulled Jane to the opposite side of the room before she said anything. He couldn’t hear what was being said but whatever it was Jane looked like she was speaking defensively ... could she have been defending him?
He saw Jane smile as she tried to subtly look at him but she dismally failed. One thing that he enjoyed about Jane was that she was as subtle as a fired pistol.
“Milord,” said a voice he recognised. He turned away from Jane and Emilia to see his valet, Mr Martin Henley standing before him, panting and holding a letter out for him. “This arrived about ten minutes ago, they said it was urgent.”
Daniel immediately accepted the letter and froze when he read the script. It was in the hand of Sabine’s governess, Miss Porter. He tore open the seal and unfolded the letter to read.
My Lord,
I don’t normally bother you when Sabine is ill but I fear it is not good. The doctor has informed me that it is scarlet fever and she is not well at all.
I don’t know what is going to happen. Scarlet fever is never good. I know you don’t come here and that we correspond via letters but I really urge you to come and see her, just once.
We are doing everything possible. We are sponging her down to try and control her temperature and keeping her feet warm. The doctor says if she survives the next nine or so days her chances are greater.
I strongly suggest that you come at once. I can explain everything better in person as I can hardly see what I am writing through my tears.
Sincerely,
Gwendolyn Porter.
Daniel felt sick. He felt completely selfish and neglectful. His daughter was suffering, possibly even dying and he was over a hundred miles from her. He could not lose her too. He’d already lost so much.
He moved as quickly as he could towards the door, not bothering to thank the host. As he reached the door he thanked God that his carriage was ready and waiting for him. “Southerby House,” he instructed the driver. “Do not stop.” He climbed in and Martin closed the door for him. He was glad he was alone in the carriage as nobody could see his tears.
His fears of Southerby House had evaporated. He knew where he needed to be, he just hoped that Sabine would be alright. He begged God to spare her and take him instead. If he was to be punished for being absent for five years then let it be him that was taken by disease and not an innocent little girl.
It felt like he’d been in the carriage a month when it finally pulled up outside Southerby House. He ignored the ominous feeling he felt as he stepped out of the carriage and saw the large white house that was covered in green ivy vines. It was early morning and the sun was rising as he walked through the doors of his house. He remembered walking out of them five years earlier while a wet – nurse tended to a crying Sabine.
The maids and his butler met him in the entry foyer but he didn’t take any notice of them. He strode immediately over to the grand mahogany staircase and took the step two at a time. When he reached the second level of the house he had to pause and take a deep breath. He prayed once again as he made his way down the long hallway as he walked past his bedchamber where Eleanor had died and down to the bedchamber that they had decorated especially for the baby.
Before he could open the door himself a person on the other side opened it. Out stepped the doctor that had delivered Sabine and had informed him of Eleanor’s death – Dr Francis Remington.
Dr Remington’s eyes widened as he saw Daniel standing there. The man had aged quite a bit in five years. His hair was significantly greyer and his pale skin was a quite wrinkly. “Lord Southerby,” he gasped. “I was not expecting to see you here.”
Daniel did not have the patience to stand there idly catching up. “How is Sabine?” he demanded gruffly.
Dr Remington’s face sunk. “She is not good. Scarlet fever is one of the most common diseases that cause death amongst children.”
Daniel could not think of that. He would not hear the word ‘death’ from this man twice. “I do not care about statistics, Dr Remington, I care about my daughter, now what are you doing for her? Does she need to be moved to your practice?” he snapped angrily.
“No, it’s best not to move her,” Dr Remington said firmly. “She has a severe case of the disease but her throat ulcers are not the worst I have seen. She has a bad skin rash covering her body though. The good news is though when I talk to her it is coherent so she has not succumbed to delirium which is what kills most patients with this disease.”
Daniel furrowed his eyebrows. “Does that mean she is going to live?” he pressed.
“We have to wait and see. From the studies I’ve read nine days is usually the amount of time it takes for patients to convalesce if they survive,” Dr Remington survived. “She has been this was for three days, so if she is still alive in six days there is hope.”
Daniel nodded and looked past the doctor into Sabine’s bedchamber. “Excuse me,” he said as he pushed past him into the room. Gone was the beautiful white basinet that Eleanor had ordered from Paris and in its place was a large four poster bed with white drapes. There was a hand – made doll house in the corner of the room and a small desk that was covered in parchment decorated with different drawings.
But his attention immediately drifted to the little blonde girl asleep in the centre of the bed. Her long, golden hair was spread across her pillow. Her eyes were closed in slumber and she had little bruise like shadows under her eyes. Her pale skin was covered in red rashes and there was a wet rag across her forehead. Her little chest rose up and down as she slept. Sabine’s face was still slightly round with youth. If she did get to grow up, she would be just as beautiful as her mother.
Daniel didn’t know what to think. It was the first time he had seen her since she was born. She was so beautiful even if she was covered in rashes. She didn’t deserve to be punished for his sins. Daniel quickly sat down in the chair beside her bed and picked up her little hand. It was so tiny compared to his.
As he squeezed her hand Sabine stirred and her eyes opened and looked at him. It scared him to see the exact same blue hue as her late mother’s.
“Who are you?” she asked hoarsely.
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