On the morning of my twenty-fourth birthday, I was giving Luke a bottle (I had yet to trust him with any kind of cup that was without a lid/straw) while my phone rested in between my neck and shoulder. I was on the phone with my sister and she was freaking out about some guy who never called her back after a hook-up they had and he told her that he promised to call and it had been four days and still no call and she had an exam in two days but she hasn't been able to focus on studying because he's just so amazing and, please, tell me something about my life because she needs to get her mind off of this and it's my birthday and, oh, happy birthday by the way. It was a lot to take in, with the run on sentences and fast talking, not to mention the loud two year old running around the flat.
"Well, me and Luke are getting ready to go to a doctors appointment I have in an hour and Ed just left for work, so not much," I shift the phone to the other ear and rinse out a glass in the sink.
"Oh, well that's nice. You have an appointment on your birthday?" I hear rustling on the other end of the phone.
"Yeah, unfortunately. You know how I said my knee was bothering me a wile back?"
"Yeah, I remember you saying something about it."
"Well, I finally set up an appointment with Dr. Henderson. Today was the only day he had open for a month, but only because someone cancelled, so I took it. It's not like I'm doing anything other than hanging out with Luke today, maybe finishing up an article that's due in a couple days."
"You never do anything for your birthday anymore, your twenty-four, Rory, live it up while you still can. Your so grown up, with your grown up newspaper job, and your grown up marriage, and your grown up child. Speaking of, when do I get to see my nephew next? It's been a while."
"It's been two months."
"Exactly. It's been too long."
"Well maybe if you would visit a time or two. I mean your only about an hour away, now. I still can't believe you got into Kingston by the way, you copycat."
"I don't ever have time, I'm studying all the damn time. Speaking of, I should be doing it right now. I'll call you back later okay?"
"Alright, Piper. Later. Love you, and call mom if you get the chance. She wanted me to tell you."
"Ugh, will do. Happy birthday, again. Love you, bye." I mumbled another bye and ended the call.
A time later I was sitting on a thin tissue paper atop a metal table, sitting in only a paper gown. Dr. Henderson was pressing on certain points on my right knee, asking me what felt weird or what hurt. There was one spot that he pressed that made his lips turn down in a frown.
"There's a place here," he pressed softly on my outer knee, "that concerns me a bit, but I think that you just may have strained it. I would recommend just keeping off of it for a few days." He scooted on his little wheeler chair, that I really wanted to spin on, over to a computer, typing in a few things.
"Alright, is that it?" I asked, slowly getting down from the table, the dull ache in my leg never leaving.
"Uh, yeah. But, before you go, I'd actually like to schedule an appointment for a X-Ray and maybe an MRI, just to make sure everything is how it should be," he said, brushing I off of his shoulder. My brows furrowed.
"A MRI? Why would that even be necessary? You don't think there is some kind of problem, do you?" I ask, rubbing my knee, cautiously. If there was nothin wrong with my knee, why would there be any reason to even have a test done?
"It's just for precaution, Lorelei. I promise. The weakness of the bone is slightly concerning, I'm sure it's nothing, okay?" I nod, "So, next appointment; how's next week?"
"Next week is fine. Thank you," I say wirily.
"Great. I'll leave you to get dressed and we can discus this further." I nod again and Dr. Henderson leaves the room. I look to my baby boy, laying down on the hard table with droopy eyes and a lock of hair playing between his fingers.
(week later, Tuesday)
"How are you feeling, Lorelei? How's that knee?" Dr. Henderson asked when he stepped into the exam room. Ed was in the restroom and Luke was with Piper since she had a day off of classes and claimed that she was craving some Piper-Lucas time. She is completely baby crazy. It scares me sometimes.
"I'm okay... the knee hasn't gotten any better."
"And how's Ed?" He asked.
"He's good, he's here actually. This whole... thing... is scaring him. I mean it's understandable, but it's making me anxious." I say shifting on the exam table. Just then, Ed opened the door, stepping in and immediately slipping a hand around my waist.
"Hey," Ed breathed.
"Alright," Dr. Henderson clapped his hands together, his brown eyes widening slightly, "Now that we're all here, lets get too it, yeah?" I nodded my head and Ed hummed in response.
"So, as we discussed before, we will do a regular check up before getting into things. I would like to do a regular procedure for checking for cancer since it is not showing to be broken or anything. However, we will probably do a X-Ray here since we have the equipment, but for the MRI, I would like for you to take a ride to Jefferson Memorial Hospital down the road. That okay?" Ed's grip on my hand became noticeably firmer and his brows furrowed at Dr. Henderson.
"Are- are you saying that Rory might have cancer?" Despite Ed's cold gaze, his tone was tenuous.
"It's possible. If she does, I would like to find out at quick as possible. Also, there is no telling how far along she could be. Having not come to me for so long since the pain started. Now, if we could please proceed. We are not sure what is going on in there until we take the proper pre-cautions and tests. If it is what it seems to be, then I will refer you to specialist, and other doctors that will be willing to help, and explain further." He gave a tight smile and handed me a paper gown to change into, "any more questions?"
I shook my head, "Good. I'll give you a few minutes."
Beside me, Ed was tense and stared the doctor down as he walked out of the room closing the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, Ed let out a breath.
"What a dick."
"Ed-"
"No, no, I have to let this out because he's so a fucking ass," he started pacing around the small exam room, "My wife could possibly be dying and he is acting like he doesn't even fucking care. Like its nothing. We have a son, Rory. Does he not understand that? You might have cancer and you could be dying and we have a two year old son and," Ed paused for a moment, his pacing coming to a halt, tears filling his blue eyes and his voice becoming thicker, "and you might be dying."
"Teddy..." I said small. I could feel tears start to brim my eyes as I looked into his hurt ones. He quickly came to me, embracing me in a tight hug, as he shook from the tears. Together we stayed like that for a minute or so, crying.
"What are we going to do, Roar? I can't lose you... we can't lose you. Luke needs him mother, Rory. You can't leave." He said after a while, his face buried in my neck, his breaths coming out in short puffs as he tried to control his breathing.
"It's not for sure, yet, Teddy. It's going to be okay. It's probably nothing, alright? Im not going anywhere, babe," he nodded his head and kissed my neck. He pulled back and wiped at his eyes, "i should probably change, now."
It wasn't nothing. Four days later We got a call from the hospital. They requested for me to visit the following afternoon. Dinner, that night, was eerily quiet and for some reason that upset Luke a fairly large deal because he ended up crying for a very long time. I held him to my chest trying to calm him down as much as possible. I had a bad feeling about the results from the test, and I knew Ed did, too.
That night he held me close for most of the night, neither of us able to sleep, but not one of us dared to utter a single word. Ed and I had bags under our eyes the next day. I called both of us our employers, informing them of our absences and after that, we took Lucas to daycare.
At the hospital, we were informed of my results. There was a tumor. It was small, and thankfully curable. It was benign, meaning the abnormal cells in my leg were not going to be moving to anywhere else in my body. They said after some treatment, the tumor could be gone. If not they would put me into surgery and take it out that way. The possibility of me dying was close to none and the tumor was, as of now, not cancerous. It was all a big relief to Ed and I, despite the circumstances.
(Later that evening, on the phone with Mom)
"Hey, honey, haven't heard from you in a few days. How is everything? How's Luke?" Mom asked, innocently, when she picked up the phone.
"Oh, um, Luke... Luke's great mom." I said, withdrawn. How was I going to tell something like this to my mother?
"Are you alright? You sound kind of... distant. Did something happen?" Mom asked, concern evident in her voice. I could almost see the crease in the furrow of her brows.
"I- what are you doing right now? You might want to sit down." I warned.
"I'm not busy, your father is at the grocery and I'm already sitting. Now, what's up? Did something bad happen?"
I took a deep breath, unsure of how to word my next sentence, "there's something I need to tell you, Mom, and I don't think you will particularly like it."
"Just tell me sweetheart, I'm here for you. I always will be- I'm your mother, it's my job." I nodded even though I knew she couldn't see me. The loose string of my blouse was suddenly very interesting as I twirled it between my fingers.
"I'm... I have... shit, sorry. I have a benign tumor in my knee, it's not cancerous, yet, it's small and able to be cured. But until that point, I'm... well I don't know what is going to happen, actually." I spewed out all in one breath, awaiting my mothers response. All I could hear on the other line was her even breathing and that scared me more than anything. If I knew anything about my mother, it was that she always had something to say; but, with her silent like this, I was terrified of her words.
"Mom, please say something." I begged.
"It's going to be alright, Lorelei. Dont your worry, okay? You've got me and your father and your sister. You've got Ed and your baby boy, you hear? So don't worry. Everything is going to be alright, honey. Now, have you told your sister yet?" I was slightly relieved hearing those words come from my mom. It soothed me a bit to hear the motherliness in her voice. It made me feel warm and safe. I wish I could have hugged her at that moment.
"No, not yet. I'm going to ask her over and tell her in person," Mom proceeded to ask me different questions after that and I answered them to the best of my ability.
Later that night, Ed came to me with a proposal. He wanted us to move back to Framingham, our home town. He wanted us to move closer to our families for the time being. As much as I didn't want to leave London, I obliged and agreed with the decision. Although, it was a huge change in both of our lifestyles, it might would be for the best. Ed had enough money to keep us up and running for the time being while he took off of work and my boss was letting me off on a (surprisingly) paid leave, under the unfortunate circumstances.
Lucas slept in our bed that night, curled between us. All I needed in life was with me at that moment and here life was, trying to rip all away.
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Longer than usual. This is where the sorry is going to really pick up. Hope you enjoyed, at least a little bit.
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