"Sometimes our minds can be our biggest enemy, as well as being our saviour...."
****
June POV
I was parked on the curb in front of the entrance of Mr. Jeons building. I hadn't felt like walking in, so I simply messaged Moon, informing him that I was parked outside and ready when he was.
I was his chauffeur (personal driver) after all, I wasn't inclined to do anything more than that, so I try to keep my distance and stick to keeping things strictly professional, nothing more, nothing less.
I can't allow myself to get personally involved with them, it'll only make things worse....
I thought to myself. I already feel like I'm losing sight of why I originally took this job, and that in itself is a sign as to why I need to further distance myself, to stop a personal and emotional attachment from evolving between them.
"Heya kid, how you feeling today?" Moon interrupts my rapid train of thoughts as his bodyguard unlocks the door and allows him to get in.
"I'm doing the best I can Sir, how are you today?" I smile politely, forcing myself to keep a nonchalant attitude.
"Well, I'm not too bad either. I'd feel a lot better if we find a lead to the case I'm working on though, it'd be really helpful if there was some kind of witness at least" he looks at me through the rear view mirror, a knowing smile gracing his lips and a tilt to his head.
Something about the look on his face makes me feel uneasy, yet strangely, intrigued. My hands curl around the steering wheel tightly as I force myself to make eye contact through the rear view mirror.
"I hope you find what you're looking for soon"
He lets out a chuckle, followed by a gentle sigh as he looks away before looking back "I think I might've found it, thanks to you"
Confusion riddles my features, my brows furrowing together at his statement.
He can't possibly know?...
"What do you mean by that Sir? Are you implying something?..."
"Why would you assume I'm implying anything?" He quirks a brow. I look away to begin driving as I focus on the road "Do you know something?"
"No Sir, I was just wondering"
I hear him click his tongue as he sighs, before going completely silent. My body tenses at the uncomfortable tension in the air, his long intimidating silence making me want to cower in my own skin.
For such a small and petite man, he really knows how to keep you on a thin line. He's scary and intimidating when he needs to be, which is probably why he's such a talented detective.
"Where were you during your break June?" He finally speaks up, his tone calm and gentle, making it difficult for me to decipher exactly what he is feeling.
"I was at a carnival Sir, I wanted a new change of scenery" I told him truthfully, I didn't see any point in lying as he'd simply see right through my deception.
"Really? Did you happen to see kook and Jiminie there? They sent me videos earlier of them riding the pirate ship. Jimin couldn't stop screaming, it was hilarious but I felt so bad for my lil baby" he cooed, recalling the memory in his head.
I smiled at the fond tone spilling through his lips. He really is a great person, which in turn makes me feel even more remorseful towards myself. None of them deserve the pain and tragedy that might linger their way. Nobody does.
"I might've Sir, but I wasn't really paying much attention. I just... wandered aimlessly, I suppose"
"And why is that?"
"Pardon Sir?"
"Why were you wandering aimlessly? Didn't you say you wanted a new change of scenery?"
"Um... I did, but... I just lost interest. Nothing seems to intrigue me anymore, everything seems a little dull, bleak I guess. Meaningless as well" I shrugged my shoulders like it was an ordinary thing to say, but judging by the look Moon was throwing me, as if he was assessing my features, it made me think twice about what I had said.
"You sound depressed, kid" I chuckled at his words, but he seemed to lack the amusement.
"I'm fine Sir, I just don't find joy in things. I blame it on my personality, I'm not very optimistic"
"I don't believe it to be your personality, there are many factors that change or affect our view on life. Your personality is merely a trait of who you are"
I just nodded my head. If this conversation continues, I'll only be digging myself a deeper hole. He's trying to figure me out, interrogating me through casual conversation.
"You're a good kid, June" my body tenses at his words.
Why would he say that?...
"I'm twenty eight Sir, I'm too old to be a kid"
"Your physical age might be twenty eight, but I personally feel like you hadn't had the proper time to grow mentally. You're intelligent, June, don't get me wrong, you just seem to be lacking that emotional aspect"
I bit my lip, chewing it as I tried to process his words. Some might honestly find it offending, but I, genuinely cannot comprehend the emotions in which are suppose to be inflicted within me.
And that's why his words hold a profound truth, a truth which I would've never come to learn if it weren't for him.
"I understand Sir, but I've been living this way my whole life and so far, I'm still alive. I don't believe it to be a major issue"
"Tell me then June, is being 'alive' what really matters? Is simply 'existing' enough? What's the point of being alive, without actually living? It just makes you equivalent to an empty, hollow shell. An object that merely exists, yet has no fundamental value. No purpose"
"With all due respect Sir, why are you telling me all this?" I questioned, feeling my chest constrict.
"I feel like you needed to know. Something to help clear your mind at least" I peeked at him through the rear view mirror, his attention focused on the window beside him until he caught me staring and met my gaze.
I quickly looked away to focus on the road. "My mind?... It's fine the way it is Sir"
He chuckled at my words "Don't keep lying to yourself kid. I'll let it pass if you're lying to me, because I'll know that you are. But just never lie to yourself, that'll ultimately lead to your breaking point"
"I don't understand how someone could lead to their own downfall? Aren't our minds programmed to keep us safe?"
He remained silent for a while, the only thing heard was his calm breathing.
"Sometimes, our minds can be our biggest enemy, as well as being our saviour. Whether it be for finding ourself, or losing ourself completely"
My tongue caught in my throat as I registered his words. I hesitantly opened my mouth, unsure of what I was going to say "But what if you've already lost yourself?...."
"Then you simply look for yourself until you begin to feel alive again. You don't have to find all the pieces to feel whole, or complete. Nobodies perfect. We all seek perfection yet don't realise that what truly makes us perfect, is our imperfections. They're what make us human. It takes time to grow and develop mentally, physically and emotionally. Just like it takes time to put a puzzle together.
And sometimes, even a puzzle is missing a piece. So what do people do when that happens? They continue searching for it until they learn to accept that they'll never find it. They learn to accept, that it's completely fine just the way it is. That they, are completely fine just the way they are"
My grip tightened around the steering wheel. I felt my eyes gloss over with an unfamiliar liquid but I refrained from allowing it to accumulate and spill over.
I simply remained quiet, unknowing of what to say or whether I should say anything at all.
"Don't disappoint yourself kid. You're not living to please others, that's not your responsibility"
I allowed for another comfortable silence to envelop the ambiance, despite my brain going haywire as a series of questions and 'what if's' blurred through my mind.
Is this the point where I start living?....
"Moon?..."
"Yes June?"
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I licked my lips "There's something I need to tell you..."
_________________________________
(Few days later, at the Jikook home)
________
3rd Person POV
"Jimin, Namjoons coming over baby" Jungkook whispered in Jimins ear who was soundly napping on the living room couch.
Jimin tossed around, a shiver running down his spine as he felt Jungkooks warm breath fan his skin gently. He squinted his eyes open, his lips all pouty as he made grabby hands at Jungkooks clothing, but all he felt was the large, muscular expanse of Jungkooks bare torso.
Jungkook chuckled as Jimin let out a whine, simply wanting to feel the older's warmth envelop his small build.
"Does my baby need me?" Jungkook chuckled, grabbing Jimins hands in one of his own as he laid on the couch and pulled Jimin closer to his body.
Jimin sighed contentedly as he nuzzled his head in Jungkooks bare chest, breathing in his intoxicatingly musky scent.
Jungkook wrapped his large arms around Jimins petite yet curvy frame, weaving his fingers through Jimins golden locks and stroking his hair tenderly. He placed a loving kiss on his forehead, enjoying the way Jimins body goes completely lax in his hold.
"Will Jin be coming with him too?" Jimin mumbled, his voice muffled by Jungkooks chest.
"Yes baby he will. He can't leave his pregnant husband home alone. Either that, or he just doesn't want to leave him"
"It's the latter" Jimin giggled, knowing how inseparable the two were.
Jungkook chuckled at his words, wrapping his arms tighter around the younger's frame.
"Are they coming over for a reason, or just to hang out?" Jimin whispered, his voice more clear as sleep began to drain from his body.
"Namjoon had called me earlier, he said Hoseok hyung had called him and informed him of some alarming news. He didn't want to discuss it over the phone, so I told him he could come over and we'd talk about it together"
"Is everything ok? Does it have anything to do with the way Hoseok hyung was acting the other day?" Jimin asked, concern and worry painting his features as he looked up at Jungkook.
"I'm not sure baby, we'll have to see" just as Jungkook had responded, the bell rang, alerting them that someone was at their door "That's probably them"
"Yeah!" Jimin beamed, excited at Namjin's presence "You might want to put a shirt on though kook" he giggled, running his hand down Jungkooks ab adorned stomach.
Jungkook smirked, licking his bottom lip "Are you sure you want me to put a shirt on?"
Jimin blushed, his mouth going dry "U-um... kook they're at the door, we can't keep them waiting"
"You haven't answered my question" Jungkook persisted, his hand tightening on Jimins waist.
"Kook-
The bell rang once again, interrupting Jimin. Jungkook quirked his brow teasingly, his lips curling into a snarl.
"I p-prefer you without one...." Jimin admitted, hiding his face behind his hands "b-but just go put one on because it's distracting...."
"Really?..." Jungkook husked in his ear, chuckling darkly when Jimin started to punch his chest playfully in hopes of getting him off.
"Kook please... Jin is pregnant, it's not good to keep him standing at the door" Jimin whined, his lips all pouty and his face clearly flushed.
"Sorry baby" Jungkook peppered his face and head with kisses before quickly getting off the couch, running upstairs to his bedroom to get a shirt then throwing it on.
By the time he descended the stairs, Jimin had opened the door and ushered both Namjoon and Jin into their home.
"Hyung" Jungkook grinned, catching namjoons attention who was currently embracing Jimin in a comforting hug.
"Hey kid, how are you?" Namjoon smiled, pulling Jungkook into a side hug and ruffling his hair.
"I'm great hyung, how are you coping with Jins pregnancy?" Jungkook smirked, wriggling his brows in Jins direction and causing the latter to blush.
"I honestly couldn't be any happier" Namjoon chuckled, pride and adoration shining in his orbs as he pulled his pregnant husband into his arms by his waist, placing a loving kiss on his crown.
Jungkook greeted Jin with a quick hug, before returning him to Namjoon and scooping Jimin in his arms.
"Why don't we go up to my office and discuss everything together, and leave Jin hyung and Jimin to watch a movie while they binge on snacks?" Jungkook suggested, one of his hands inside Jimins shirt as he rubbed his stomach tenderly.
Jimin placed his hands over Jungkooks own which continued its gentle caresses. He peeked over at Jins round stomach, biting his lip and chewing his bottom lip in envy.
He was over the moon that his hyung was blesssed with the gift of birthing a child, but he just felt a little melancholic at the fact that the same gift was stripped away from himself so unfairly.
"Yeah we should" Namjoon responded, nodding his head and stroking his fingers through Jins hair "Are you ok with that baby?"
Jin peeked up at him with a smile "Yep. Now go away, Jimin and I need to catch up and gossip about you two"
Namjoon scoffed, his deep baritone sending shivers down his husbands spine despite the cheeky grin plastering his lips "Really now? Well, whatever keeps you occupied I suppose"
Jin and Jimin giggled merrily, before Jin started ushering Namjoon up the stairs along with Jungkook.
Jungkook quickly planted a tender kiss on Jimins lips, whispering sweet words in his ear before following Namjoon up the stairs.
"Don't mind me, imma raid your entire pantry" Jin giggled as he made his way into the kitchen with a laughing Jimin quickly following behind him.
Once they placed all their snacks on a tray and brought it into the living room, Jimin switched up the room to the theatre setting, waiting for all the lights to change and the large cinematic tv to appear.
Just as he sat down, Jin sat next to him and cupped his cheeks fondly. He leaned in and kissed him on his forehead, somewhat surprising Jimin but nonetheless making the younger giggle adorably.
"How are you feeling kiddo? Anything on your mind or bothering you lately?" Jin asked, ruffling Jimins soft locks.
"Um... not really. If there was, I'd usually talk about it with kookie. He genuinely takes special care of me..." Jimin smiled at the thought "how about you hyung? How's the pregnancy coming along?"
"Not too bad. I honestly thought it'd be more stressful, but so far so good. It's probably because I'm still only a few months in, it's usually the last few months that take a toll on the body" Jin spoke nonchalantly, a somewhat desolate smile resting on his lips.
Jimin tried to overlook the sudden sullen expression, it having disappeared off Jins lips as fast as it had appeared.
"That's good, I'm very happy for you hyung! It's really exciting actually" Jimin beamed, his crescent smile evidently on display.
Jin cooed at the sight "Thank you cupcake, I'm excited too!" He smiled "sooo.... when are you and kook planning to give me a niece or nephew?!"
Jimins chest clenched painfully, a lump forming in his throat "u-um... actually hyung, I can't really have kids, it's a long story..."
Jins eyes widened at his confession, his heart constricting guiltily as he gazed at Jimins crestfallen expression "oh kiddo I'm so sorry, I had no idea I'm truly sorry I didn't mean to-
"Don't worry about it hyung, it's not your fault" Jimin smiled sincerely, trying to lighten the mood as he picked up the remote and began scrolling through the various tv shows and dramas.
Jin wrapped his arms around Jimins frame as he pulled him close, weaving his hand through Jimins hair and using his other to caress his arm soothingly.
"I know how hard it is, but don't you dare blame yourself. Believe it or not, I wasn't able to conceive properly for years now. I've had two miscarriages in the past two years, which made the very thought of getting pregnant again very terrifying for me. Because I simply couldn't go through the pain of losing another one of my babies.
Even now I'm scared out of my mind that something wrong will happen to my children, but I have Joonie by my side, constantly assuring me that everything'll be ok and we'll soon have our very own little family.
I was told that I couldn't conceive, yet here I am, pregnant with not one, but three beautiful and very healthy babies, and I couldn't be anymore thankful for one of the greatest miracles in my life. So don't you even think about giving up! A miracle is sure to come your way kiddo...." Jin finished off tearfully, cradling a crying Jimin in his arms.
"Y-you're h-having triplets?!?" Jimin squealed excitedly, his mind assessing everything that Jin had said. He couldn't help but feel guilty that he had thought it was so easy on Jin.
"Yes, we are" Jin beamed blissfully, his face glowing at the thought "but dont tell anyone! Joonie and I were planning to keep it a secret"
"I pinky promise I won't!" Jimin giggled, sealing their pinky promise.
"Thank you sweetie, now, what should we watch?"
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GUYS!! THANK YOU SM FOR OVER 51K READS 😭😭 AND FOR #2 in Kimtaehyung wtffff
Hope you guys enjoyed this one! Ik how annoying it can be to see other ppls POV instead of the main characters, but it was important for me to portray June's POV and his mindset. This'll be the last time you see his POV tho, so no worries ;)
Thank you all for the much appreciated and extremely heartwarming birthday wishes 😭 y'all r so damn precious xx BORAHAEEEE 💜💜💜
_Yoongies_