Chiang Mai.
Perth arrived at the house with Mean. A bottle of red wine in each of their hands as a gift. They looked around. The double-storey house was big with a vast pool and a huge garden at the side. The dinner buffet was held in the garden. The stepped into the garden that was decorated prettily with fairy lights around the buffet spread and colourful flowers arrangements. They arrived quite late, the guests were already started eating and bustling around. It was a nice environment, Perth decided.
"Perth! Mean!"
Zee approached them with a big smile on his face. "Welcome to my home." He said after before receiving the gifts and handing them to his maid.
Perth smiled at him. "And thank you for having us."
"No problem at all, come in here," he said bringing them further into the lighted up garden.
"Any special occasion?" Mean asked after a while, taking a glass of juice from a passing caterer.
"Nothing much, Saint just love the garden and wanted to enjoy the Spring evening," Zee said stopping near one of the empty tables.
"There are some familiar faces," Perth commented looking around at the chattering guests.
"Yes, I invited some my acquaintances and close friends. I'm sure you'll enjoy the food -"
"Baba!"
Their conversation was interrupted when a small chubby body appeared and was holding on Zee's pants leg.
"Phu," Zee's rubbed the small boy's head. His eyes staring at the unknown adults in front of him.
"Up!" He raised his arms to Zee.
"What did I tell you about manners?" Zee exclaimed but complied nevertheless lifting the boy onto his hip.
"Sorry baba" the little one pouted his lips while leaning his head against Zee's shoulder.
"Oh, he's so cute," Mean gushed. "Hello Phu" he said offering a handshake.
Perth froze on his feet. His eyes grew wide. The little boy was so familiar. Yes he was cute, the cutest boy that he had ever met, he might say. But there was this pull at his heart tugging relentlessly. He stood there speechless, keep staring at the small boy jumping in Zee's arms. The boy had light brown hair, framing his fair face. He had a cute button nose and a pink pouty lips. His eyes, his eyes were very narrow with dark orbits. He was gorgeous, the little boy was gorgeous and Perth felt dizzy.
"Who is he, baba?" Phu asked pouting his lips towards Perth.
Zee smiled and kissing his round cheek. "This is Perth, he's my new friend. You can call him uncle Perth, boo."
Phu blinked at him. "Hello Ar Perth, same hair," Phu grinned at him while patting on his own hair.
"Hello-" Perth's throat was dry and his palms felt clammy. He wanted to shake that boy's small hand, but he cannot move his body except for his mouth.
Phu smiled and Perth wanted to strangle himself. "Me name is Phuri, but you can call me Superman," he exclaimed squirming in Zee's arms to be put down.
"Go to mummy," Zee instructed patting on his bum when he was put down on the ground.
Perth watched the boy toddled over to the dessert table, ignoring others who cooed at him.
"Earth to Perth" Mean snapped his fingers in front of his face.
Perth flinched, blinking his eyes repeatedly at Mean and Zee who were looking at him.
"Come, let me introduce you to Phu's mummy. You should try his fish and chips." Zee said putting his arm around Perth's shoulder.
Perth nodded his head, not trusting his voice to talk. Without noticing, his head twisted around looking for a glimpse of Phu again. He felt an odd connection the small boy.
"Zee!" Someone called his name.
"Wait there!" He shouted to that person. "Mate, go have some drinks or food, enjoy yourself. I'll come back soon." He said patting on Perth's back.
Perth nodded his head absent-mindedly. Mean was nowhere to be seen. He walked over to the beverages table at the middle of the garden decorated with fairy lights. He sighed to clear his head. Maybe his decision to come over was not the right one. He must have been tired. He could have
"Oops!"
Perth stopped in his track. His eyes widened looking down on his black Gucci silk shirt that was stained with strawberry juice. He squeezed his eyes shut.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I'm so clumsy! What can I do? I'll dry clean your shirt-" A soft voice sounded.
"It's alright, don't worry-" Perth assured the culprit while rubbing on the juice stain before he lifted his head.
"There's no need to-" he said but stopped when he saw that boy, tongue frozen. There, standing and rambling in front of him, that boy. That boy he used to love dearly, maybe still morely. That boy, standing in front of him in a flesh. Adorned in a burgundy dress, flawlessly glowing more than ever. His eyes shining but slightly shaking while staring back at him.
"Kitten..." Perth whispered, voice barely audible.
That boy shook his head. His eyes grew wide when he noticed Perth's hand reached forward.
"God," he whispered, his hand over his mouth.
"Sain-" Perth whispered, his voice shaking
"Son, there you are!"
Both of them whipped their heads looking at the owner of the voice approaching them.
Perth watched helplessly as Zee sauntered over and hooking his arm around Saint's waist. He kissed at his temple before looking back at Perth and beam.
"Meet Saint, my partner and Phu's mummy."
Perth decided at that moment that the God must hate him. He wanted to jump a cliff after punching a wall, a stone wall. So that his hand will hurt and bleed, and the pain will be too unbearable so that he would not feel anything when he fell down into the oblivion.
"Son, this is my new friend from Bangkok, Perth Tanapon." Zee said to Saint.
"Son? He called him Son?" Perth came back to the reality. "Saint is Phu's mummy, and Phu is Zee's son. So that means- shit!"
Perth schooled his expression into an unreadeable one. "Nice to meet you Saint." He hissed the name smiling at him coldly, offering a handshake out of manners.
Saint was visibly trembling. He suddenly turned around in Zee's arm. He hide his face in Zee's chest, arms around his waist murmuring something to the bearded man.
Perth bit his tongue as hard as he could, it was less painful than watching the scene in front of him.
"What?" Zee asked gently into Saint's ear rubbing on his back soothingly.
Perth seethed, he turned his head away, his rejected handshake fell limp on his side. His fists felt cold, his heart also.
"You're not feeling well? It's okay, you can go upstairs and have a rest. I'll handle the guests." Perth could Zee's words coaxing Saint who was currently in his tight embrace. Perth didn't know why but he wanted to punch Zee on his perfect face!
"If you'd excuse me for a moment Perth," Zee said to him before helping Saint to walk inside the house.
He watched seethingly with anger boiling in him. That should be him. What kind of fuckery is this. Saint should say something to him. Why? Why did Saint left him three years ago? And Phu? Oh fuck! A millions of thoughts spinning in his mind.
Perth glared at the big house angrily. He huffed before turning around. His body was shaking with shock and anger. He would talk to Saint sooner or later. He would not let him escape that easily without explanation.
"Ar Perth?"
Perth looked down beside his leg. Phu was standing there with a cupcake in his hand. Perth's heart melted.
He crouched down making eye contact with the smart boy. "Yes Phu?" He whispered gently worried that Phu would run away from him.
Phu grinned at him. "You see my baba and mummy?" Phu asked tilting his head adoringly. His ringlets moved along
Perth choked on his saliva. The reality
went back to him and it was painful than ever.
•••••••
Saint changed into his pajamas before walking to the window. He looked outside, the dinner party was still going on. Without noticing, he was hoping that he would catch a certain silhouette. He heard Zee's footsteps approaching from behind.
"Hey, you should lay down." Zee told him gently. A glass of water and a bottle of pills in his hand.
"I'm okay now, just a bit dizzy," Saint said smiling at him thanking him after he swallowed his pills. He laid down comfortably on the bed with Zayn sitting on his side staring at him worriedly.
"Have you been to your monthly check-up for this month?" Zee asked while rubbing on his covered legs.
"Not yet," Saint shook his head while closing his eyes.
"You should go tomorrow," Zee's voice barely heard.
"I will," Saint whispered. .
"Now I want you to sleep. I need to go back downstairs. God knows what Phu is doing."
Saint smiled nodding his head. "I'm sorry," he whispered again.
"It's okay, really."
Zee left after kissing his forehead and turning off the main light. That was when Saint's dam broke and he cried into his pillowcase silently, fingers cluthing onto the sheets desperately.
••••••••
Perth swallowed his fourth shot before slamming the glass down on the counter. "One more!" He shouted to the bartender.
"Whoa, slow down Perth." Mean told him while ordering a glass of water for Perth.
Perth whipped his head up and glaring at Mean. "Can you believe that he left me for another guy?"
Mean sighed from beside him leaning forward to rest his arms on the counter top.
"You need to talk to him, ask the truth. You cannot made speculations like that."
"Why would I? I don't want to! I don't want anything to do with him! As soon as I finish my job here, I'll head right back to Bangkok!"
Mean snorted, "If you says so."
Perth hiccupped. "And they fuckin' have a son together Mean!"
Mean stared at him with pity.
"He fuckin has a son with that guy!" Perth slammed his fist on the counter angrily. A few visitors looked at him but went back to their own businesses. The night was still young.
Mean kept quiet before releasing a heavy sigh.
Perth whipped his head looking at Mean. "Why didn't you say anything?" He snapped.
"Are you sure Phu is his son?" Mean asked staring straight into his eyes.
Perth swallowed. "Of course he is, can't you see Saint in him?" He gulped down his fifth shot. The burn calmed his nerve.
"I meant Zee."
Perth paused midway putting the glass down.
"Why did you say that?" He asked quietly.
"I don't know man, I mean look at that boy, Phu" Mean shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know if I should say this-"
"Say it!" Perth snapped.
Mean sighed again, "Phu, he-he looks like you Perth."
Everyone was quiet when Perth's glass hit the floor, shattered.
Mean closed his eyes, pinching his nose bridge. "I mean Phu looks like a copy of you and he's three years old Perth! When did Saint leave you?"
Perth's jaw clenched and his cold fist balled, fury clear in his eyes. He suddenly stood up sending the stool flying. He gritted his teeth, "Call a cab!"
Mean stood up too, putting his hand on Perth's squared shoulder. "Where do you want to go? Perth?!" He called when Perth pushed his hand away.
"Just go back Mean!" He spat rushing out ignoring hungry eyes looking at him.
"Perth, don't do anything stupid!" Mean shouted to his shadow.
"Fuck!" He sighed slumping down on his stool.
Perth drove his car without care stepping on his gas and entering the expensive neighbourhood lane near the hill. Without noticing, he drove nearer to the big house that he visited just that evening. He parked his car under the tree near the entrance. He got out of his car slamming the poor door shut. He stomped to the closed gate tugging on it with anger muttering curses under his breath. He fell down on his ass, tugging at his hair with frustration while staring at the house with resent. He will do something soon.
•••••••••
Saint was chewing on his lips absent-mindedly. His plate of toasts and scrambled eggs untouched in front of him. He couldn't sleep the night before, his mind was a jungle of messy thoughts. He trashed around in bed until Zee had to cuddle him to sleep.
"Saint"
His problem was that man, that particular man he ran away from three years before. Sacrificing everything he had, he came to Chiang Mai to start a new life with his baby. A lot of unfortunate things happened on him before he met Zee. After that, his life changed drastically. They had promised each other to forget about the pasts and expect the future together. But, his dark past decided to visit him. He needed to avoid that dark past.
"Saint"
"What?!" He blurted too soon flinching when Miriam put a hand on his shoulder shaking him lightly.
"You've spaced out. Are you okay?" Miriam asked with concern.
Saint swallowed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just remembering something."
Miriam nodded her head, but his expression unbelieving. "Are you alright by going alone?" She asked, pouring mango juice into Saint's glass.
"I'm- I'll be just fine." He smiled blandly.
"Do you want me to go with you? We can bring Phu along." Miriam tried again.
"No, you just stay here with Phu. My check-up might take a long time." He refused.
"If you said so."
Saint drove to the hospital in his Porsche Cayenne, a birthday gift from Zee. A gift forced on him even after he refused. He accepted it later when Zee sulked with him, only talking to Phu. Saint shook his head fondly, that man was too kind.
Saint arrived to the hospital without rushing. That day was cloudy. The sky started to turn dark when Saint stepped to the registration counter informing the nurse about his appointment. The full check-up took quite a long time since he had a short session with his therapy. He was told that there were nothing to be worried about, it was just normal stress and a slightly high blood pressure. Saint blamed the incident a day before. His session finished around noon.
He stepped outside to the parking area while blaming himself who parked outdoor. The sky was murky and dark and not a single person could be seen. Saint tightened his coat and walking faster while thinking about what to cook for lunch when reaching home. His heels click-clacking on the cemented ground, the only sounds heard with occasional leaves rustling and wind breezing. He was about to reach his car door when a hand grabbed on his arm. Saint twisted around to hit the culprit with his handbag but stopped deadtracks.
It was that despicable man. Perth Tanapon , in his glory. Even he hated him, standing close like that Saint had to admit that he aged like a wine.
"Let me go!" Saint gritted his teeth trying to pull his arm from the tight grip. Perth's hand on his skin felt like a fire after three years.
"I don't want to." Perth simply said pulling his shades on top of his head. Saint stunned for a second looking at those eyes but snapped himself back to reality.
Saint looked around them. The parking lot was empty save for a few cars. The sky had gotten darker and he could hear thunder from afar. He didn't want to scream so he had to use the hard way. He stepped his 4 inch Louboutin heel hard on Perth's suede covered foot.
"Shit!" Perth shouted loosening his grip on Saint's arm.
Saint pulled his arm away dashing to open the door before a pair or strong arms curling around his waist, the same arms which holding him tenderly three years before.
A squeal escaped Saint's lips. "What the fuck are you doing!?" he snapped. The sound reverberating in the air, as he twisted and trashed around to escape Perth's grasp, feet lifted from the ground.
"Give cooperation and I'll let you go" a dark glint came into Perth's eyes, along with a sinister expression he'd never seen him wear before. Saint tried to jab his elbow on Perth's ribs but Perth caught his elbow.
"I told you," Perth murmured in a tone as rough as gravel, his grip on him tightened. "Listen to what I want to say."
Saint trembled, abruptly aware that Perth was still holding him against him. Perth body warmth transferred to him. He hated the fact that he had to look up at Perth since he was far shorter even though he already wore heels.
"Fine!" He snapped. "Let me go first."
Perth released him easily making Saint stumbled backwards touching the car door, his expression unreadable. "Listen to what I want to ask and say-"
"No! I don't have any business with you. It's Zee's whom you have a business with!" Saint said sharply.
Perth's eyes turned murky "Stop mentioning other man's name in front of me," he growled out, arms shot forward caging Saint against the door, his warm breath hitting Saint's pale and cold face.
Saint flinched, that was not the same Perth that he knew before. A tear fell down his cheek. "Stop this! Are you stalking me?!" He shouted, jabbing his finger against Perth's chest. "Who the fuck do you think you are? You have no right to talk to me!" He spat.
Perth clenched his jaw, his brows furrowed. Saint never talked like this. "I won't stop Saint! I won't stop until you explain to me!" He stepped closer invading Saint's space.
Saint looked down, shaking his head. "There's nothing to explain about. Just forget the past and move on-"
"Is he my son?" Perth asked clearly. The thunder stroke again and the rain chose that exact moment to fall.
Saint's head snapped up staring dagger into Perth's eyes. The rain water went into his eyes.
"Who? What are you talking about?" Saint squinted his eyes trying to maintain his expression. "You do talk some shits Perth!"
"Please Son, please tell me the truth. Phu, is he- is he my son?" Perth pleaded, his eyes were red. Saint didn't know whether it was from the rain or tears that he was holding in.
Saint squeezed his eyes shut, the rain water started to hurt his eyeballs and his head felt dizzy. They were drenched in rain and might be looking ridiculous to outsiders. He shook his head. After three years, three fucking years. Their first interaction is a ridiculous quarrel.
"I don't want anything to do with you. Just, just leave me alone. And leave Phu out of this," Saint gave his last warning, a hint of hatred in his tone.
Perth's eyes shone with fury and he reached forward wanted to grab Saint's hand again.
"Or I'll tell Zee!" He pulled his hand away. He slipped into his car, starting the engine and drove away.
"SAINT!!!" Perth screamed on top of his lung in the middle of the heavy rain.