This chapter isn't as long as the others but it's definitely worth the read. Let me know what you guys think!
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Enjoy!
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- Asmara
"I can't believe this." I groan to myself as I sit in the centre of the giant bathtub.
I've been silently fuming ever since I followed Torben back to his room, or should I say our room from the amount of time I've spent in there. Urgh! I've seriously fucked up. I've got a minute until I'm forced to leave this room and go back out there and face him, falling victim to all his questions.
Why does he even give a fuck about my wolf?
She's gone forever and me spilling my secrets is going to change nothing but open me up to vulnerability. I hate feeling vulnerable, to give someone I barely know a piece of me that could come back and bite me in the ass. Nothing good will come from me spilling my childhood traumas to him.
It's easy maintaining a steady and strong exterior when your enemy doesn't have the tools to break you down, but when I tell him everything I might as well hand him over my very soul. He already owns my freedom. Why isn't that enough for him?
I shiver as the water of my bath begins to turn cold, forcing me to focus back on the reality and the consequence of my choice. I unwillingly step out of the bath, eyeing the fresh pair of clothes folded up on the ceramic side. It's a grey pair of bottoms with a white tank top.
I rinse my hair and plait it before getting dressed in the clean clothes, my heart racing at the thought of opening that door.
Here goes nothing.
I open the door and find Torben casually leaning back against his headboard with his arms crossed at the back of his head. His hair is damp and disheveled from his own bath with a few stray water droplets trailing down the sides of his face. Why does he have to look so perfect? My gaze trails slightly down, he's now dressed in a black shirt and comfy black bottoms, the clothes hugging his body perfectly, allowing me to see the outline of his hard muscles.
My cheeks flush bright red when I catch him looking me up and down as well. I quickly drop my gaze, nervously lean against the doorframe, biting my lip as I try to think of what to say.
Do I have to do this?
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- Torben
Asmara looked so nervous and uneasy as she leant against the doorframe, drawing her bottom lip in between her teeth, causing my eyes to zero in on the action. She looked so adorable and yet so god damn sexy at the same time with her gorgeous crimson eyes looking back at me with caution before she dropped her gaze to the ground.
I could have stared into her gaze forever, her eyes are so beautiful, captivating and drawing me in, tempting me with the secrets behind them. Perhaps it's a good thing she looked away when she did.
"How was your bath?" I ask her gently, watching as her eyes snapped to mine.
She shrugged her shoulders, "It wasn't terrible."
God, I hope she isn't this closed off when it actually comes to me asking about her wolf. Especially not after the arrangement she agreed to. If anything, I would like to believe she's a woman of her word.
"Please," I gesture to the bed, "take a seat." I'm trying to be gentle, trying to be patient with her but I'll admit patience isn't something I have a lot of.
She stood up straight and eyed the spot on the other side of the bed. When she took a seat, her eyes flickered to mine and I could smell her fear, strong in the air. My wolf despised the smell, he wanted her to feel at ease with us but when you're two individuals in our position, feeling at ease with one another is near to impossible.
I keep my tone gentle with her when I say, "I know you're reluctant to tell me anything-"
She scoffs, cutting me off, "Yeah, no shit."
"Which," my tone is sharp this time, causing her to drop the attitude, "is why I'm willing to start slow. Will that be easier for you?"
She drops her gaze to her lap, fiddling with her fingers anxiously. It's a second later that she finally breathes out a small, "Yes."
I can't say I'm not relieved. I know she's struggling but I'm proud of her for being compliant. Maybe she is a woman of her word after all and that's certainly something I can respect.
"Okay," I begin, Asmara still staring down at her hands in an attempt to alleviate some of her anxiety. I'm going to have to be really patient with her. "Let's start from the beginning." She lifts her head slightly, preparing herself for my first question. I ask her, "When did you first realise you weren't like your parents? The first time you knew you were different."
Her eyes flash with an unwelcome sadness, reliving the moments she felt out of place in her own home. She looks me straight in the eyes this time, trying her best to bury down her pain, "I've been treated differently my entire life, I know my parents had doubts I was a Wolven since the very first day I was born..." she trails off to stop her voice from breaking. When she pulls herself together, she picks back up with, "But the first time I realised I was different, that I was being treated differently, was when I was six."
I know I can't comprehend what that must have felt like for her, to be treated differently by everyone around her because it was clear she wasn't one of them. That must have taken its toll on her.
Asmara isn't finished, her eyes holding my gaze as she continues to tell me what it was like for her, "My parents tried to hide it from me, even go as far as to reassure me that I was in fact a wolven, but deep down I knew the truth. The other pups were always stronger, faster and I could barely keep up. That's when the bullying started, and I knew for myself that I was an outsider."
She was bullied?
My eyes flash with anger at the sound of that. Asmara is a princess and yet she was still subjected to bullying? How could Adrenous allow his daughter to be treated like that?
I want further clarification, "Bullying?"
Asmara's eyes flash, and I can already sense she's closing herself off from the subject, "That's irrelevant from this conversation. You only said I had to answer questions about my wolf."
I ground my teeth in frustration, dying for her to clarify the events around her bullying and who was responsible, but goddess damn her, she was right. She only agreed to the terms regarding questions about her wolf and it would be wrong of me to demand more from her.
I set my pride aside and tell her, "My apologies, you're right." She looks at me as if I've grown a second head, clearly expecting me to press further on the subject. I continue on from my last question, now wanting my second answer, "Tell me about the moment it was evident without a shadow of a doubt that you weren't a Wolven."
Again, another painful memory reaches the surface of her features, her heart rate increasing slightly, "I was thirteen, and under the alluring light of our goddess."
"The ceremony of the pups first shift," I realise what she's referring to, not surprised that that would be her answer. "We have a similar celebration though we honour our goddess slightly differently."
Rogues don't have the luxury of worshipping our moon goddess the same way Adrenous and his pack does. We've developed new ways, even our mating rituals and initiating new members are celebrated differently.
It's clear I've piqued her curiosity when she asks me, "In what way?"
"AT AH... It's irrelevant from our current conversation," I smirk, using her own words against her.
"Sorry, you brought it up?" She remarks sarcastically, causing me to chuckle.
"Anyway, tell me what happened that day."
The atmosphere turns tense, Asmara now shuffling uncomfortably. Her gaze becomes distant as she explains that day back to me, "I remember standing beneath the light of the blue moon..." she trails off, trying to remember every single detail. When it comes back to her, she continues, "The pups around me began to scream in pain but I felt nothing. I remember looking around at them, not sure of what was going on when I was suddenly overcome with this excruciating pain in my skull. It only lasted a second and when I finally focused back on my surroundings, I realised I was the only one who hadn't shifted."
I remove my hands from the back of my head and lean forward, "Wait, you say you had excruciating pain in your head?" She's taken off guard by my sudden movement, but she quickly nods her head, "What did it feel like exactly?"
I may have a theory as to what it could have been.
She gives me a funny look, not sure why I'm all of a sudden interested in a headache, but either way, she complies, "Like my skull was being split open, it was almost paralysing and sent me to my knees."
As I suspected. "Are you aware that when a wolven shifts for the first time, their wolf connects with them consciously, as well as physically? It's just as painful and feels exactly as you described." I know because I felt that exact pain when my wolf connected with me, the pain is paralysing and there's nothing you can do but ride out the pain until the connection is complete.
Asmara narrows her eyes slightly, her confusion evident, "What are you trying to say? Where are you getting at with telling me this?"
I think she knows, she just doesn't want to her hopes up.
I voice my theory, "To me, it sounds like your wolf was trying to initiate a connection with you, but she may have been too weak to seal it because her physical form was absent." I wonder how she'll take what I've told her, it's clear she's already accepted that she'll never have a wolf and for someone to come along and give her a wisp of hope... She might reject the idea altogether, not wanting to get her hopes up.
My theory would explain why she couldn't sense the bond on my level. I know she couldn't feel it like I could but the bond was affecting me greatly, and even though her wolf wasn't present, it was like she was calling to mine. Still it didn't matter, I was In control and I wasn't going to let the bond control me.
My father was always clear about keeping control.
Surprisingly she doesn't reject the idea, her eyes widening in wonder, "Is that really what you think happened?"
I'm honest when I admit, "It's a likely scenario but I can't know for certain."
"Oh..." she breathes out, her hope diminishes just like that. Like she won't allow herself to believe it unless it's the truth without a shadow of a doubt. She doesn't have much faith, does she?
"I need to know more," I press. I'm happy with the progress we've made so far, finally being able to chip away at her armour without her resisting me.
"I've pretty much told you everything," She sighs, not believing there's much else to say.
She's so wrong.
"No. Not everything," I tell her, her crimson eyes flashing with annoyance. I suppose she thought that she was done answering all my questions but I'm not done with her yet. "You haven't told me why your wolf doesn't have her physical form."
This time she's not sure how to answer, "I don't know much, only what I've been told. My wolf was taken when I was still a pup in my mother's womb."
How is that possible? "How?"
Her eyes darken, anger filling her crimson irises, communicating to me that the answer isn't good, "Dark magic performed by a dark well. He stole my wolf before my mother was able to escape with the help of a light well... Her friend." Wells. I've only ever met one. They're powerful beings, gifted with magic. They choose which path to follow, whether to be dark or light. Dark Wells are what I'm more familiar with. Only because we share the same enemy.
Her eyes shift, sadness overwhelming her, "Her friend died that day with countless others. I believe your father was one of them."
Her words were like a punch to the gut, painful both emotionally and physically. Memories of my own, dark, twisted memories rose to the surface, causing my eyes to darken dangerously and my entire demeanour to buzz, communicating the anger beneath my calm exterior. Asmara's eyes widened in fear, jumping back to get away from me. She could see the pure anger and danger in my gaze, and she instantly regretted mentioning my father.
My voice is dangerously quiet when I tell her, "I was there when your father gutted him like an animal."
Asmara goes against her instincts to back down, and instead, she defends her father like the devoted princess she is, "Your father helped to have my mother kidnapped..." She stops herself, her eyes becoming angry, "But why should you care? You've already followed in his footsteps."
"Enough!" I snap, leaning in closer to her, smelling her fear, much more prominent this time. "Remember who you're talking to." Even my wolf demands respect from our mate, urging me to show her just exactly who's in charge here. I'm tempted but I fight against those urges as I silently stare her down.
Asmara's voice lowers in volume, this time filled with an unfathomable amount of pain and sadness that it has my own heart aching, "You asked me for the truth, Torben. You don't get to be angry with me for telling you the truth. I blame your father just as much for what happened to me and my mother that day. Draven may have taken my wolf but you're-"
"Draven?" I blurt out, my brows rose in disbelief, unintentionally cutting her off. She seethes angrily but I ignore it, "He took your wolf?"
"Yes, that's what I- Hey! Where are you going?"
I aggressively stood up from the bed and was already at the door with Asmara staring at me in angered confusion.
Leaving the room, I tell her, "To talk to an old friend."
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Do you think Torben's theory is right?
Do you agree with Asmara showing her hatred towards Torben's father?
Where do you think Torben's of to?
Next chapter will be Monday 12th April.
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