CHAPTER - 6
LOVE ISN'T... FUNNY
For as long as I could recall, I hated people.
I had always been anti-social and just could not spend time in trying to know someone new. Maybe that's why I never had a serious relationship. I hated speaking about my feelings, sharing my thoughts, letting anyone know me; the same way I didn't like knowing anyone or having feelings for someone new.
Harry had always been my only friend, since I moved in with the Parkers. He stayed by my side even when I was bullied for being a tall, lanky, pimple faced kid all through school.
But oddly enough here I was, waiting to hear Liana's views about something as fucked up as love.
She looked like she wanted to get out of the situation she had landed herself into. 'Well, welcome to the club!' I wanted to say. At least, my plan of making her run away was working just fine.
And as I waited for her to give any indication that she remembered me from that night four months ago, the doorbell rang. I groaned in complete frustration at whoever was ringing the bell. They had the worst timing ever! "Who is it now?"
Liana looked relieved at the distraction and she waited for me answer the door, but honestly, I was just too comfortable and didn't want to get up. The frequency with which the bell started ringing indicated that it was my fucked up best friend, and my suspicions were confirmed when I heard his voice from the other side, "Don't be fucktard man. Move your lazy ass."
The bastard knew me way too well. But how could I move from the comfortable position I was in?
"Umm... who is it? Bank troubles? A dacoit? Terrorist? Your partner in all your crimes? Or partner of your life?" Liana asked, looking genuinely concerned.
In response, I glanced at her and rested deeper in my couch. Harry increased the frequency of bells and the profanities that he was shouting, making me roll my eyes. I watched as Liana got up from her seat and started walking towards the door. She didn't have to! The asshole could use the spare key I had given him for emergency situations, but I didn't tell her. "Where do you think you're going?" I asked instead.
"Narnia!" was her instant reply, making my lips twitch up in a smile. She turned around and asked, "So, is it your ritual or something to open the door and then shut the door in your guest's face? Oh, and am I supposed to follow this too?"
I almost laughed at the vision of Liana shutting the door at Harry's face...or well, anyone's face. Highly unlikely! Narrowing my eyes at her, I challenged her, "I would like to see you try."
I was proved right when she scowled at me, but again got distracted by Harry's voice. "Don't make me adopt extreme measures, Ashton."
Liana panicked at his words, while I just rolled my eyes at my overdramatic friend. She walked towards the door and I flinched when Harry opened the door just when Liana reached for it, hurting her nose in the process.
Harry didn't notice her as he entered the living room and yelled at me, "Why the hell did you not open the door?"
I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. This guy could really make a mountain out of a molehill. "I didn't feel like getting up." I informed him.
He looked at me with narrowed eyes, staring at my face for a second longer and clenched his jaw. "You didn't sl-"
"Why are you here again?" I cut him off, shooting a pointed look in his direction, not letting him say anything in front of Liana. Sometimes, my best friend was way too observant. I knew he was worried with how I had reacted to the news of Mrs. Parker using me as a subject for a stupid article for her magazine. I knew he came in here to just check on me. And he clearly knew that I had just spent another night painting instead of sleeping.
"I told you not to compel me to adopt extreme measures. I had to use my spare key, asshole," he yelled at me, making me chuckle a bit.
"You had a spare key? Then why were you playing bang-bang with the door?" Liana interrupted us, looking clearly mystified.
I watched as Harry's angry and concerned expressions turned to confused ones as he turned to finally look at Liana. "Uh..hi! You're such an unusual sight in this apartment. I'm so happy to see you here." He smirked looking between Liana and me, as his over-enthusiastic imagination ran wild. Well, I knew him way too well for my own good!
"Can you please stop smirking? I have seen enough of those in the last few hours to last a lifetime." My eyebrows shot up at the snappy request Liana answered Harry with. I was happy to know that my ways of irritating her and making her drop this assignment were working perfectly fine. I smirked at her, just to rile her up some more. She sighed and apologized in another breath, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."
"Shit! You are so cute!" Harry exclaimed, looking way too happy. I rolled my eyes at him. "And hot," he added.
Irritated at his over the top happy expressions, when I myself was feeling lethargic as hell, I interrupted him, "She is not hot. She is a bear."
'She is hot!' The little part of my brain which was not tired butted in. I shushed him.
Harry looked at me with a know-it-all smirk and asked, "You call her that with love?"
Liana and I snorted at the same time, much to my amusement. Before I could say anything, Liana moved a step towards Harry and smiled her charming smile. "I'm Liana Moore."
Harry grinned at her. "You write the 'Love Column', don't you?"
I rolled my eyes at him. Hadn't Dylan shared this piece of information with us when he had told us about this fucked up assignment? Yes, he had and Harry was also the audience to the conversation. But no, he had to use any opportunity to gain some brownie points with the ladies. He really didn't need that. Girls already loved him for his always there smile and positive attitude.
Liana confirmed the unnecessary with a huge smile on her face. "Yes, I do." For some reason, it looked like her smile didn't reach her eyes as they didn't light up like a few seconds ago.
Harry laughed and told her, "My sister would love to meet you. She loves your write-ups." I narrowed my eyes at this piece of information. Had he gone ahead and shared with his entire family that I was currently being used for a stupid article that Liana writes? But in the next moment, I started wondering about how Liana must write. If Erin, the only sane person in Harry's family, loved her writing, it must be really good.
"Yeah. Well... I didn't get your name." Liana asked him.
"Oh! I'm Harry," he replied in an instant.
"It's nice-"
Liana was cut off when he added, "Potter." I chuckled lightly at him for playing this game with her.
"What?" she asked.
"Yup! I'm Harry Potter." He grinned, while I grimaced as I heard him repeat his version of Harry Potter for the umpteenth time. Pointing towards me, he introduced me, "He is Ron. You want to be Hermione?" I rolled my eyes at him. "But, we'll make sure that this ends differently. Harry and Hermione, meaning, you and I are going to end up together. Ron can go and f*ck whoever he wants to; anyone but Hermione."
Was he the new J.K. Rowling? Re-writing and spoiling a perfectly good written novel series? "Why don't you go fuck yourself?" I suggested him, having to hear his version of Harry Potter was not a joy for me.
He grinned at my reaction. "Technically, it is not possible."
'Have you tried it?' I wanted to ask but refrained myself in front of Liana. Instead, I shared a bit of fact with them. "Well, technically, two to three out of every thousand men in the world can 'toot their own horn', according to a sex researcher." There I used the weird fact I had known since quite some time.
"Gross!" Liana shuddered dramatically. "Horn? And you were making fun of me for calling it a 'pee pee'." She narrowed her eyes at me and I found that expression rather cute on her.
"Pee pee?" Harry laughed making me smirk. "Who calls it a pee pee these days?"
"She does." I pointed towards Liana, who again ended up looking at me with narrowed eyes.
Harry jumped between us, breaking our eye contact and pinched her cheeks. "You're so cute, Hermione."
"She is not cute." I butted in, contradicting my earlier thoughts. 'Liar!' Again, I shushed the useless voice inside my head.
While she had her own objections. "I'm not Hermione."
As my words reached her ears, she stared at me with narrowed eyes and once again, I found myself wondering if she will recognize me if she stared at me long enough?
"I told you guys that there would be a twist in this story. Hermione, you're going to end up with me. Don't look at Ron like that. And Ron don't look at your friend's future wife like you're going to eat her. Have some decency, dude. She's taken," Harry interrupted us and I really wanted to hit him. Maybe, she was just a moment away from placing me in her memories.
"Oh yes, she is taken," I told him as sarcastically as I could. Why was she still taken? I mean, why was she still with that cheating asshole?
Harry looked at her with wide eyes and started shaking her. "You have a Draco Malfoy?" he asked her, making me chuckle and Liana laugh. Oh, and did she laugh? She laughed with no worries in the world and for a moment I forgot about everything – everything except the fact that she was laughing.
'How can someone's laugh be so attractive?'
"Ye - yes," she managed to say between her laughs, and I sighed, trying to straighten my thoughts.
"This is not acceptable, Hermione." Harry smiled at her.
"First, it's true. I've a Draco Malfoy. Second, I'm not Hermione. Last, seriously, what is your name?" She smiled back at him.
Again, here was Harry with his charm. I slapped his shoulder playfully and told her the truth, "Harry. His name is Harry. Right, Harry?"
"Yup. But don't forget the 'Potter'. That's the USP." Harry grinned proudly and I was sure that there was no chance that she caught the truth in my words, just like all the other times during the day...
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It was a little over half an hour after meeting Harry that she left for the day, giving me a chance to finally breathe and think over how this day was turning out to be. For lack of a better word, I chose 'unexpected'. For sure, I was frustrated with Ms. Parker's new idea of using me as a subject for a lame article. But I wasn't sure if I should be happy that I finally came face to face with my muse and finish off the last painting I was stuck on, or be pissed off that she couldn't remember me. A simple fact that I could not digest.
"She looks familiar." Harry commented, reminding me that I was not alone in my flat.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, I ran my hands over my face. Of course, she looked fucking familiar to him. I gave him a pointed look, giving him some time to think over it. I was successful as his face lights up as recognition finally hits him. "Oh my God!" he exclaimed.
"I know." I grunted.
"Oh my God!" he repeated himself as he kept starting at me with his mouth open and disbelief clear on his face. "You've been painting her!" He jumped from the couch he was sitting on earlier. "This is un-fucking-believable. Out of all the girls in the world, your mother set you up with your muse. This is all sorts of epic!" I watched as he slowly went from being confused to shocked to euphoric in a span of few seconds.
"Ms. Parker didn't set me up with her." I felt the need to clarify.
He rolled his eyes at me and dismissed me with a wave of his hand. "Tomato, to-mah-to." Before I could say anything, he was back to his ecstatic self. "This is like coming face to face with your favorite author or better a character! Imagine how it would be to meet Sherlock Holmes! Wow! Just wow, Ashton! You must be over the moon!"
"How can you compare everything to books and characters?" I ignored every other thing he just said, trying to change the topic.
He raised his eyebrows at me. "How can I not?" I chuckled at him. Before I could successfully change the topic, he pointed out. "Don't try to do that!"
With an innocent smile, I asked, "What am I doing?"
"Man, don't even try to do that! I know you!" He shook his head at me, determination clear on his face. He sat back on the couch opposite me and looked me in the eyes. "Now, that I know that your recent paintings are not based off some beautiful imagination of yours, I would like to know where you met her." I started shaking my head in a 'No', not really wanting to remember that night again. Talking about that night was the last thing I wanted to do. He whined, "C'mon man! Don't be a spoilsport. As your best friend and your manager, I have the right to know."
I stared back at him. He was not only my best friend, he was my only friend, who liked to call himself my manager. Since no one knew about my works apart from him, he self-appointed himself as my Manager, even though I didn't really need one. He actually owned an event management company and he was actually doing well for himself.
I couldn't really believe that it had been four months that I first met Liana and I still hadn't told him about it. I would have, but what could I tell him? That I met a girl at a bar with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. That I have been looking for her for four months for no fucking reason. That I wanted to know if she was doing okay or not, and whether she broke up with that asshole boyfriend of hers? Apparently, she didn't. So, I could just go back to my studio and finish the last painting of hers.
"Ashton," he almost yelled, bringing me back from my thoughts. "You seem lost. Are you okay?"
"You are not my manager," I informed him in reply to his question.
He yawned in reply at the sentence that he has heard from me thousands of time. "That's your excuse of not paying me, you, stingy asshole," he grumbled, making me smile. "Now, back to Liana," he said, "Care to explain?"
A sigh in defeat escaped my lips. "I... I met her at a bar," I informed him.
It took just a few seconds for him to put the pieces together and when he did, he laughed. He laughed for a good ten minutes straight with his watery eyes, him pointing his finger at me, shaking his head in disbelief. Yup, I knew the joke was on me!
Once he calmed down, he pointed his finger at me and declared between in chuckles, "You, my friend, are officially whipped!"
I snorted in response. "I'm not. She is a muse. And she shared some details about her past with me when we once met. So, I just wanted to know if she is doing fine."
"Is she?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
Clearing my throat, I avoided his gaze and answered him, "I don't know."
"You didn't ask her?" he asked back, looking at me incredulously.
"What are we doing? Playing twenty questions?" I asked back, again trying to change topic.
He just stared at me while I ground my teeth together in irritation and again averted my gaze from him. Again, it took him a few seconds to put two and two together, resulting in him going in another laughing spree like the madman he was. This time, he took his sweet time in calming himself down – clutching his stomach, wiping the happy tears from his cheeks, unable to say anything and avoiding the many times I yelled "Shut up!".
"She doesn't remember you, does she? Was she drunk? Oh my God! This is gold! Fucking awesome! A story I'm always going to remember and tell your kids!" He exclaimed enjoying my misery a bit too much.
"Shut up!" I grumbled for the umpteenth time, not having a better comeback, and just giving up on the fucked-up day.
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A/N
Here you go! I've been finding it really hard to write now and I feel sad about it! I'm sorry! But, at least I managed to write this one! :)
Did any of you ever wonder whether Harry knew about Liana or not? :)
I hope you all and your dear ones are safe. Stay happy, safe & blessed!
Thanks!
Love, Richa