I sit up in my bed suddenly.
Glancing towards the windows, I take notice that the sun was rising, which must have meant the time was around five to five thirty in the morning. My wolf was the reason I woke up. She was stirring around. I had absolutely no idea what that meant but a flashback of the last time I woke up early attacked my vision.
Without consciously realizing it, I had begun to move towards the door, with my hand outstretched. Twisting the doorknob, I hesitantly stepped outside my room and moved towards the staircase. By the time I had descended the stairs, my wolf was begging me to run outside.
Why? I questioned confused. JUST DO IT!
I slowly walked towards the door when my mates scent attacked my nose. Turning quickly, I began thinking of excuses I could use for being out of bed so early when I realized that his scent was faint. He isn't here. He was, but not anymore.
By this point my wolf had gone quiet now. She expected me to follow his scent without further instructions. Taking in a deep breath, I ran my fingers over the doorknob and opened the door. The guards were like usual, stationed in front of the house. I really didn't think there was any use for them. All they did was stand in one spot doing nothing.
Like most times, one of the guards approached me. "Luna," he says quietly, "may I ask were you are going?"
"My mate asked for me in our mind link," I say, the lie somehow coming out smooth. The guard though seemed like he was about to mind link Thaddeus, so I rushed to say, "he's mad right now. I don't think it'd be wise to try and mind link him at the moment."
That seemed to do the trick because he was nodding away. "Do you know which way he went?"
"He walked into the woods about five minutes ago. You can follow his scent," the guard says. I nod and thank him before setting off towards the woods. Honestly, I wasn't expecting it to be so easy.
When I made it to the woods, I followed his scent which led me to a pile of clothes belonging to him. He must have shifted, I thought. As I stand near his clothing, I realize he must have been pacing in different directions because his scent was all over the place.
I walked around trying to find the correct direction he went into. I ended up spending probably five to ten minutes walking around and in the end I ended up in the same spot his clothing lay. Feeling fed up and completely frustrated, I headed back to the house when a low growl had me freezing up. Another flashback of that night when I was speaking to Beta George and growls suddenly appeared, attacked my mind. I tensed up and turned around slowly.
A sigh escaped my mouth when I noticed it was just my mate. I observed him before understanding why I couldn't find him. He was almost hard to see because he was laying down near a bush. With his pitch black fur, he could have been invisible if it weren't for my use to be watchful eyes. I must have been walking past him this whole entire time. I blush in embarrassment.
I stay in my spot before moving my legs. Moving towards him though, he doesn't do anything but watch. His dark eyes pierce mine as I move until I am standing in front of him. His wolf was probably an inch taller than me when he was laying down.
For some reason my hand began moving towards his head and in a few seconds notice, I was stroking the side of his face. He didn't seem to mind though because he didn't make a sound as I continued to stroke his face. Eventually my hand began to wander to his side where I gently rubbed him. He turned his head to glance at me and I swear I saw some sort of emotion in his dark eyes.
A few moments later he opened the mind link with me.
Shift, was all he said. He nudged me towards a tree and instead of complaining I did as I was told. Rushing to a tree to take cover, I quickly stripped and shifted. I stretched out my wolf limbs and dashed towards my mate who was still in the same position as before.
I tilt my huge wolf head up to stare at him before my wolf lets out a playful yelp and I am dashing off. I could hear my mate behind me taking his time to catch up to me. To him, I must've been a slow runner compared to his Alpha speed but that fact didn't slow me down one bite.
I loved the feel of the wind that just seemed to tickle my fur. I loved the sound of my mates paws hitting the ground behind me. It felt surreal that I was having a run with my mate who I've always thought had hated me.
Maybe he still does. Maybe he doesn't. But I was almost a hundred percent sure I had a special place in his cold heart.
After a while when we had stopped running, Thaddeus nudged me before taking off. Now I was the one who had to follow him. I continued following him after stopping maybe twice but that was it. It took a very long time just to get to where we were going but I enjoyed every minute. It's not like I might have another chance at this any time soon. That thought made my happiness dim by a lot.
When Thaddeus began to slow I knew we reached our destination. Without much care, I huffed and placed my head on my paws laying down. That was until Thaddeus nudged me again so I observed the area.
It was a cute pond.
I glanced at him. Was this his way of being romantic? Because I found it cute that he brought me out here. Did I honestly just use cute to describe my mate, Thaddeus?
Without really thinking about that, I decided to just watch him. Even though that might have been a bit awkward, I didn't care. He suddenly stood up from his previous position before going to the pond and drinking some water. I decided to do the same, since the run here had me feeling exhausted.
When I began feeling hydrated I sat back and glanced at Thaddeus. He looked straight ahead not really focusing on much. I suddenly needed to ask him something that I knew he hated.
Can I ask you something? I ask him. He turns his huge head and gives me something like a questioning glance. As if hesitating, he nods in wolf form. In human form?
Thaddeus gets up slowly before heading to a tree. There are clothes in this area, find some for yourself.
I sniff out the clothes farther away from my mate and quickly shift, covering myself with a large shirt that ends at my knees. Heading back towards my mate- I freeze on the spot as I observe my mates toned body. My knees wanted to collapse but something was holding me back from doing so.
When he turned around he began walking straight towards me which had me feeling confused. Wasn't he going to put on a shirt? He only had a pair of shorts on... to be honest I'd love if they were off too. I could literally feel my wolf smirking.
"What did you want to talk about?" He asked quietly.
"I know you're tired of me repeatedly asking but it is driving me insane and I really need to figure out. Do you like me or not?" I ask. He opens his mouth to potentially answer my question but I continue to speak. "Please just answer yes or no. I'm tired of these confusing signs."
"I don't have a problem with you."
"I literally just said answer with-" I paused taking in his words. "What do you mean?"
"Like I said, I don't have a problem with you. I want you but its just complicated."
Not everyone can get what they want.
"I don't get it, I mean we're mates," I state. Instead of answering like I thought he would, he turns and says, "we need to go back. I have work to do."
"Will I ever get answers?" I quietly murmur. Thaddeus hears this of course, but doesn't do anything but shift. I quickly do so feeling dejected and we both begin heading back towards his home. This time though I kept a good distance behind him.
When we had first started running, I stayed pretty close to him, but this time I wanted to avoid him. I guess he knew what I was trying to do because he didn't stop to try and wait for me to reach him. He continued on as if it was only him in the woods.
When I had finally reached the area we first shifted, I found my clothes still exactly where they were before. Quickly shifting and changing, I headed towards the pack house in need for something that will get my mind off of my troubles.
-
"Do I put this in?" I ask Nancy while holding up the chocolate chips. Nancy nods after glancing at the objects in my hands.
"The kids love chocolate chip cookies," she retorts with a grin. As I place the last batch of cookies into the oven, a few kids walk into the room looking half asleep.
"Morning," they greet when they notice me in the room. I greet them as well and excuse myself to go find Rose and Mason. When I find their room, I try to hear if they're awake or not. When I hear only silence, I open the door slowly and slip in.
I immediately roll my eyes at their lack for cleaning as I observe their dirty room. Masons undergarments and even Roses undergarments lay scattered everywhere. I tip toe towards their sleeping figures and watch their peaceful state; not for long.
Without another thought, I lung on top of them making the two love birds sit up in a panic.
"Damn it Anna!" Mason shrieks gesturing towards my knee. I immediately begin laughing at the look of pain on his face from where my knee had connected with his man zone. Rose is just blushing wildly but before they can say anything I speak up.
"Guess what?!" I practically shout with excitement. I don't let them guess though. "I can now join you guys at the training grounds."
The look on Masons face wasn't what I was expecting. I was expecting something more like Roses expression. She seemed happy for me but Mason didn't look like he liked my news at all.
"Whats wrong?" I ask quietly. Rose glances at Mason, probably wondering why he looked like he wanted to murder all of a sudden.
"Anna," Rose speaks up quietly, "we need to... uhm."
She trailed off but gestured towards her body hidden under the large blanket. Understanding dawned onto me and with a very red face, I exit their room and head downstairs. As I head towards the kitchen, glasses shatter and ear splitting screaming erupts.
With my heart pounding hard, I rush towards the kitchen. I can distinctly hear other footsteps from upstairs rushing towards the loud voices in the kitchen. A crowd of people were blocking the entrance by the time I got there.
"What's going on?" I demand as I try to squeeze my way through the people blocking the door.
"Sorry, Luna but you shouldn't go in there-" someone tries to say.
"Let me in now," I growl. The crowd thickens and I make my way through.
I freeze on the spot as I finally realize what I'm looking at. A gasp makes its way out but I'm already on my knees checking for pulses. Nancy appear above me with that concern mothers have.
"What happened?" I gasped out.
"They were just drinking and then they just collapsed," she explains. "Where's the Alpha?"
"He's on his way," someone says. Indeed he was on his way, because in less than five minutes he was moving into the room. He wasn't alone though, two pack doctors accompanied him.
"What happened?" One of them ask. Nancy gives them a rundown of what she told me before they got here. She then shows them what they were drinking before collapsing. Thaddeus on the other hand comes over to me placing both of his hands on my shoulders.
"Are you alright?" He asks. Before I get to answer, one of the doctors turn to Thaddeus in a hurry.
"Alpha, we think someone contaminated the milk and juice cartons with something," she says. Thaddeus takes the same milk carton the kids were drinking from before smelling it.
"It smells like silver," he growls out. "Nancy, I need you to remove everything in that fridge right away."
"Yes Alpha."
Thaddeus places the milk cartoon on the table a bit harshly before identifying the kids the pack doctors were currently taking away. I stay frozen on the spot as different things attack my mind. Who did this and why? How did they do this?
Thaddeus turns back to me. "Are you alright?" he repeats. I nod solemnly.
"What about food?"
"I'll send some people to the city to get more," he replies calmly.
Just then Beta Jay walks into the room with a grim expression on his face. He glances at me and gives me a nod as if to say hello. He turns to Thaddeus and from his expression I know their both mind linking each other. I stand awkwardly to the side as they communicated with each other. After a while though, I got tired.
"Can I be included in this as well?" I murmured. They both acted as if they hadn't heard me but afterwards they glanced at me as if to say, you're still here.
I scoffed and walked past them both before Thaddeus spoke up. "Will you be staying here or going back towards my house?"
"I'll stay here," I deadpanned walking away without another glance.
When I entered the room, Mason, Rose and some others rushed over to me. Mason was the first one to speak. "Did someone really put silver into the drinks?" He asked with disgust written onto his face. I nodded just as angry murmurs erupted from the group I was with.
"What are we eating then?"
"Some people were sent to the city to get more food," I replied making people let out relieved sighs. Everyone then left to tell the good news except Rose and Mason.
"Are you OK?" Rose asks, concern laced in her words.
I sighed in annoyance. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"
"Because you look like someone killed your own pup."
I rolled my eyes at Masons words. I doubt I looked like that. Not wanting to stand here being interrogated I left them and continued walking around the huge house. After a while I got bored though so I left the house and headed straight to my mates.
I don't know why but I wanted to be near him even though I was slightly mad at him for not telling me why he acts the way he does. I just blamed it on the mate pull. It was getting stronger every time we were together and every time he hadn't made a move, my urges to mark him were getting stronger.
By the time, I reached his house, I kind of expected him to be inside but the house was completely bare. Not a living soul was inside. Making my way upstairs, I paused at my doorway before coming to the conclusion that I had yet seen his room. I made my way to his door.
I softly gripped the handle and took a deep breath. I don't know why I was so nervous, I mean it was just my mates room. Turning the handle I held my breath and counted to three before pushing the door opened.
I don't know why I gasped but I guess the shock of being in my mates room hit home. It wasn't anything like I had expected. I expected black curtains, black sheets, black closets and even a few scary pictures hanging on his wall, but no. His room looked... normal.
His bedroom walls were a nice shade of beige and his bed was a king size. The sheets were plain white but his comforter was solid brown. His pillow was also white. Beside his bed, was a night stand the same color as his comforter. He had nothing laying on his floor which had me assuming that he was a neat freak.
Hesitantly, I walked in. I simply observed his room. For some reason my eyes began shifting towards his huge bed. Was it wrong that I wanted to be under those comforters with him on top of me? With a burning red face, I diverted my attention to something else.
After taking everything in, I realized my thirst to find out why my mate doesn't really want me but at the same time does will not disperse unless I find out why. With that in mind, I opened his drawers and sniffed out anything funny smelling. I know that seems a bit stupid but I really needed to know.
I checked his night stand and my eyes almost fell out as I saw what was inside. He's probably getting ready to satisfy us, my wolf says proudly. I rolled my eyes just as she continued. Check the size, she says. With burning cheeks, I shut the drawer full of condoms before taking a seat on his bed. I wonder where he would keep important things.
An idea came into mind but I didn't really think it would be true. I checked under his pillow and then under his bed. Who knew he'd be the type of guy to keep things hidden under his bed.
I slowly removed one of the boxes out from under his bed. It was wide and slightly big but I held it in my hands anyway. I sat crisscrossed on the floor and slowly removed the lid feeling very guilty all of a sudden. Was it right to be getting my hands on things I shouldn't be touching?
Don't you want to find out why he's so confusing? My wolf questioned.
It feels wrong though, I reply glancing at the box in my hands.
You already have the box, it's too late to turn back, she says. With that in mind, I glance inside at the contents. It wasn't much besides a notebook and a few pictures and some other things but that was it.
I took the notebook out and softly turned it around, observing it. When I was done with that, I took a deep breath in and exhaled. Softly opening it, I noticed that it was in fine yet rough writing. I skimmed through it before realizing it was a journal that Thaddeus had written in.
I read the entry before turning and reading the date of the first page. May 10th, 1999.
I hesitantly began reading.
May 10th, 1999
It happened again. I don't know what to do about it though. I hid in my room as he continued to hurt her, beat her. She cries but tries to hold it in. I know it. She doesn't want me to hear any of this but it is impossible not to hear. I'd wish he would stop. She's suffered for too long yet he continued to hurt her. I don't understand why anyone would want to hurt their mate. Maybe everyone is right. My father is really a monster.
I sucked in a breath as thoughts began clouding my mind but I forced myself to focus and continue reading.
May 26, 1999
This time he came for me. I don't know what I did wrong. I was eating breakfast in the kitchen with mother when he walked in. I immediately knew something was off. Instead of walking over to my mother who seemed to brace herself, he came to me and punched me right across the face knocking me off the chair. My mother screamed and from the corner of my eye, I saw her get up and reach for me but he shoved her away. Still, she continued reaching for me until he got tired with the interruption and began hitting her. I was curled up on the floor helplessly watching her. I can't do anything about this.
June 1, 1999
My mother is in the pack hospital being treated for her wounds. They say it was a rogue attack while she was in the nearby town but I knew better. He did it. The monster I call a father did this. I stayed by her side as she lay frozen on the bed. My father once came in, acting as if he was concerned about her but I knew he wasn't. He was a monster who cared only for himself. The doctors told me she was in a coma and that they wouldn't know when she'd wake up. I hated that. Now I was going to be alone with the damn man as my mother lay in this coma.
I stopped reading. I was so confused. A mate abusing his mate. That was just so monstrous. That though, hadn't answered all of my questions. I wanted to stop reading and leave the room but I continued reading again. This time though, I skipped to the last page he had written in.
March 6, 2006
Tomorrow is the day of my birth. I plan on challenging the Alpha. I know he won't hand over the alpha title to me unless I prove myself to be worthy. I will. For myself and my mother. I know she will be watching over me as I do this for us.
A picture flew out from the book all of a sudden. I jerked back before picking it off my lap and flipping it over. A gasp flew out, as I observed the picture. It was of a young Thaddeus about age six and an older woman who was smiling brightly. She didn't seem to have any negative emotion in her eyes. She looked stunning.
Thaddeus looked annoyed as she wrapped her arms around him. At the look on his face, I burst into giggles yet I felt like crying. No wonder he never spoke about his life or his family. His childhood and early teen years were horrible.
I glance at the picture again, only to realize something. In the picture a wrist was placed on Thaddeus moms shoulder. I then noticed how the edge of the photo wasn't the same as the other side. The photo was cut. The wrist on the woman's shoulder must have belonged to Thaddeus father. I'm guessing he was the one who cut his father out of the picture.
"Having fun there?" A calm yet scary voice asks. I immediately stiffened and without knowing why, I threw the journal away. Too late since he had already seen me reading it.
I turned around slowly watching as Thaddeus walked in. He seemed calm but one look in his dark eyes had me wanting to run or even urinate in my pants.
Walking over to me, he picked up the journal and placed it inside the box along with the photo which landed on the bed too. He covered the box and then put it back where it was.
He straightened up and eyed me down, a dark cold look in his eyes. I immediately looked away and tried to shuffle past him but he didn't want any of that. He gripped onto my arm making me shake in fear.
"I don't want you in here ever again. Understood?" I quickly nodded forcing the tears away. He not-to-gently pushed my arm away as if it was poison.
When I left his room, I immediately ran down the stairs and out the house. I couldn't bare to be near him for another second.
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~MissieA out!
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