Despite himself, Voldemort could not, for the life of him, take his eyes off Harry. How could he have possibly forgotten just how beautiful Harry was? His emerald eyes glinted off the warm torchlight, and his messy black hair lay over his face in a disastrous mess that somehow made him look charming. Voldemort longed to walk over and tangle his fingers through that hair, but needs must.
And this conversation certainly was a need.
"I suppose I'll start by explaining why I did what I did," Harry said, nervously nibbling on his lower lip. The sight was endearing. "I need you to know that I did it for you—"
"Why did you never talk to me?" Voldemort asked the one question that had been haunting him ever since he read Harry's letter. As relieved as he was to find out that Harry still loved him, he couldn't help but wonder why Harry never just asked.
It was silent then for a little while, the only noise coming from the gentle wind outside the tower. Voldemort held his gaze with Harry, who was looking increasingly more uncomfortable as the silence went on. Finally, Harry spoke.
"I was afraid," Harry admitted, looking away. Voldemort felt his chest clench.
"Of me?" Was he really so bad that Harry, the one person in the world who should never fear him, was afraid?
"No! No, I... I was afraid of what you might say," Harry whispered, his hands nervously wrapping around his waist. "I was so afraid that you wouldn't listen to me. That you wouldn't see what was wrong!"
"Why would you think that?!" Voldemort cried. "How could you possibly think that I would dismiss you?!"
"You did it before!" Harry said, crossing his arms over his chest defensibly. "You weren't the same! Or... Or maybe you were and I just never noticed before..."
"What are you talking about?" Voldemort demanded, stepping closer.
"You were out of your mind, Tom!" Harry snapped. "You let Death Eaters into Hogwarts! You... You weren't sane and I just..." Harry choked back a sob, and the sight made Voldemort pause. "I didn't know what to do."
"You could've said something," Voldemort whispered, even when a part of him wondered. Was he really so far gone that it wouldn't have mattered? "I... I would've listened."
"Would you really?" Harry asked. "Think about it now. You're whole Tom, every part of your soul is back inside you—"
"What about the shard that was in you?" Voldemort asked. The silence returned then, and it was just as suffocating as it was last time. It was a very uncomfortable subject, the Horcrux in Harry still making Voldemort bitter.
"I... I'm not sure, actually," Harry answered honestly with a frown. "I thought, perhaps, it was still in you but now that I've returned..."
"He wanted to be with you, you know," Voldemort said. Harry looked at him in confusion. "The Horcrux. He wanted to stay with you."
"How do you know that?" Harry's answer was incredulous.
"I went into my magic to bring you back," he said. "Granger's theory was that the Horcrux and your soul were tied together, acting as a tether to bring you back. When I went inside, I could see every single Horcrux, each one was a different Tom Riddle with something to say. But the Horcrux that was in you..."
Voldemort recalled the tiny Tom Riddle sobbing in front of the other shards, begging to return to the warmth. It was so pitiful, something that Tom Riddle would never have done in real life. Seeing it had been surreal, and it was what stuck with Voldemort the most.
"The Horcrux in you was nothing more than a toddler," Voldemort said. "He was desperate to return to you," Voldemort didn't know how to decipher Harry's facial expression so he just continued. "He kept crying, begging to go back to the warmth and light that was your soul."
"I..."
"You took care of my soul, Harry," Voldemort said softly. "Better than I ever did. Even when we were fighting, all you were thinking about was protecting my soul. I... I don't know how to repay you for that."
"They were in agony, Tom," Harry whispered. Voldemort's hands clenched at his side, remembering the way the Horcruxes had spit at him. "You couldn't even feel it! I... I couldn't leave you like that!"
Voldemort sighed, the tension in his body releasing. He slowly walked over to Harry's tense form and wrapped him in a hug, finally pulling his lover into his chest and burying his face in his hair. "I'm sorry," he said softly, nuzzling the top of Harry's head. "It was a bad situation. For everyone."
Harry nodded and wrapped his arms around Voldemort's waist and squeezed. "I was so scared," Harry whispered, and Voldemort's grip tightened. "The war was so bad and I just wanted everything to go back to normal."
"The war's over now," Voldemort said, pulling out of the embrace to tenderly kiss Harry's forehead, directly over the scar that he knew held a piece of his soul. "We can finally relax."
"Can we, though?" Harry asked, looking at him nervously. "I mean, the war's over, sure, but we still have to save England. Everyone thinks I'm dead! The laws need to be changed and... There's just so much to do."
Voldemort hummed. "I suppose you're right—"
"You suppose?" Harry raised an eyebrow and Voldemort laughed. He'd forgotten how much he loved Harry's sass.
"But even still," Voldemort continued. "We don't need to worry about that right now."
"Oh?"
Voldemort leaned forward, firmly pressing his lips against Harry's. "I think there's another way we can spend our time," he said suggestively.
Harry frowned. "Are you sure? Aren't you... mad at me?" he asked, and Voldemort smiled despite himself, gently cupping his face.
"I understand why you did what you did," he said. "That's not to say we are done talking about it but... I forgive you. I just spent the last three weeks working with the Golden Duo to bring you back," Harry laughed and Voldemort leaned forward to rest his forehead against Harry's. "I love you. I missed you. Let me welcome you home."
Harry grinned, his face flushing a beautiful shade of red. "Well if you insist," he said cheekily.
A/N: Lol it's gone. Sorry, if you want to read that you know where to find it.
"I love you," he whispered, refusing to break eye contact.
Harry's answering smile could have replaced the sun. "C'mere," he whispered, tugging Voldemort's arm. Voldemort grinned, adjusting their position so that he was spooning Harry against his bare chest. "I love you, too, you big 'ol softy."
Voldemort's mood was too good to respond to that comment. He breathed in deeply, relishing the smell of Harry. He nuzzled his face into the back of Harry's neck, pressing a soft kiss there, and smiled.
Everything was finally perfect. His lover was alive and well and back in his arms where he belonged, the war was over and there was no one who could tear them apart. Voldemort was triumphant, just as he always was.
He lightly trailed his fingers up and down Harry's arms. The touch was soft and comforting, grounding Voldemort in the reality that Harry was really here and safe. They continued to lay there in silence for a while, soaking in the afterglow.
After what could have been a few minutes, Harry turned around to face Voldemort, resting his hands on Voldemort's chest. "I have to go see my friends," he said.
Voldemort frowned. "No," he said in what was decidedly not a whine. "Stay here. They can wait a little longer."
Harry snorted. "They really can't."
"They got to have you for seven years," Voldemort protested. "They can wait their turn."
"Are you pouting?" Voldemort was not pouting, but Harry laughed anyway. "That's adorable."
"Stay here," Voldemort said, smirking when he went to kiss Harry's neck. "I can make it worth your while."
"As tempting as that is," Harry said, pulling away from Voldemort's arms. "They aren't a very patient bunch. Do you really want Ron to bust in here while we're in the middle of round two?"
Voldemort frowned. "I'd curse him."
"Let me go talk to them, you possessive prat," Harry laughed. "I'll come back after. Come on, the sooner I go the sooner I can come back."
Voldemort let out a heavy sigh, as though letting Harry go was the hardest thing in the world, which in all fairness, probably was. "Fine," he huffed. "You better return within the hour, or I'll come looking for you."
Harry grinned. "Thank you," he said, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips. Voldemort leaned up, deepening the kiss. He managed to make it last a few more seconds before Harry pulled away. "Nice try but I'm still going."
"If you truly must," Voldemort sighed, falling back against the bed. He let his head rest against the pillows, watching with a smirk as Harry bent down to pick his clutched off the floor. "I suppose I'll just enjoy the view."
Harry blushed but continued to get dressed. Voldemort watched him go with a sigh, looking at Harry with interest when he paused at the door. He turned, a smirk on his face. "Don't think I'll forget you proposed to me," he said with a cheeky grin.
Voldemort refused to blush as he recalled the way he proposed in his height of pleasure. Instead, he grinned. "Don't think I'll forget you agreed."
Harry hummed. "I need to go talk to my friends," he said, his emerald eyes glinting with mirth. "But I expect a true proposal, Tom Riddle." And with that parting statement, Harry left, the door clicking shut behind him.
Voldemort just smirked as he let his head rest under his hands. "Don't worry," he said to himself. "You'll have it."
|1998|
"This is a horrible idea, just so you know," Hermione muttered underneath the cloak. They awkwardly shuffled through the silent halls. It was almost one in the morning, so there was no one around, which suited Harry just fine as they were technically fugitives. "We're going to get caught!"
"We will if you keep talking!" Harry snapped. "Be quiet!"
"Ow! Who just stepped on my foot?!" Ron whispered loudly.
"Oh! Sorry," Hermione said softly.
Walking around under his invisibility cloak has been fine when Harry was tiny and it was just him, but trying to sneak through Hogwarts under the cloak with three people was a nightmare. Harry was pressed uncomfortably close to Hermione's side, Ron pressed up against his back, one hand wrapped around Hermione's waist to keep her close and the other holding cloak over them, they awkwardly shuffled forward through the halls.
Harry had to admit, it wasn't very comfortable, but they only had to get around this last corner and they'd be in front of the Room of Requirement. All they had to do was look for the final Horcrux, find it, and then sneak back out of Hogwarts, all while not getting caught by the Death Eaters that lived here. Should be easy enough... right?
"What if there are guards?" Hermione asked as they got closer to the tapestry.
"Uh..."
"You don't know—"
"I didn't think about that!" Harry whispered defensibly. "I guess we have to... distract them?"
"Oh, we're so doomed!"
"Who's there?!"
Harry froze, and he could feel Hermione and Ron freeze with fear. In their distraction, they had failed to notice a dark figure coming down the hall. They were only a few feet away from the Room of Requirement, but the figure was getting closer. Harry squinted and he could just barely make out Snape's features in the distance.
Shit. This was not good. "Okay, here's what's going to happen," Harry frantically whispered. "I'm going to distract him while you two slip into the Come and Go Room."
"What?! Bad plan, Harry! Bad plan!" Hermione cried, her hushed whisper just a little too loud as Snape began walking faster.
"There's no time!" Harry responded. He slipped out of their hold, lightly nudging them towards the entrance. Thankfully, the trio was next to the shadows, so Harry could slip out from underneath the cloak without giving away their position. "Go!"
"Harry! Oh for—we're so doomed!"
Harry cautiously walked away from the tapestry, making sure his footsteps were loud enough to be heard by Snape and draw his attention without giving away where he was. He quickly turned the corner, smiling when he heard Snape follow him.
"Detention! You're not allowed to be out after hours!" Snape drawled, getting closer. "I see you! Stop running!"
Harry panicked, turning another corner only to trip over his feet. He fell to the floor with a crash, and in the time it took to stand, Snape had caught up. His hand fell on Harry's shoulder, spinning him around. "I caught you—Potter?!" Snape's face dropped with genuine surprise.
"Snape." Harry said in an equally monotone voice.
"Wha—Oh, you stupid, stupid boy!" he snapped, dragging Harry down the hall into an empty classroom. Harry watched the Death Eater close the door and cast silencing spells with a confused frown. "What are you doing here, Potter?! What were you thinking, coming here?!"
"Uh..."
"Thank Merlin I was the one to find you," Snape continued. "Honestly! Are you truly that idiotic?! You could've been seen! You were seen! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!"
"Why do you care?" Harry snapped. "You're a Death Eater! You're working for the Dark Lord! You killed Dumbledore!"
Snape let out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his hook nose. "You truly are stupid."
"Excuse me?!"
"I killed Dumbledore because Dumbledore made me!" Snape said. Harry's eyes widened. He didn't want to believe him, after all, that was crazy! Who would want someone to kill them? But Harry could see in his eyes that Snape wasn't lying.
"Why? Why would he do that?" Harry asked carefully.
"He was already dying," Snape said. "He had less than a year left. He did it to save Draco."
"Malfoy?! What does he have to do with this?!" Harry demanded. "What the hell is going on, Snape?!"
"Draco was tasked with killing Dumbledore. Dumbledore knew this just as he knew Draco would never do it," Snape said, looking far too old at that moment. "So instead, he ordered me to kill him. It would cement my role as a Death Eater and make the Dark Lord trust me."
"Wait... You're a spy?!" Harry cried. "Still?! This whole time everyone thought you were the traitor!"
"I am a traitor, Potter, just not to the Order," Snape said. "I'm doing what I need to, to survive."
Harry frowned. "But why? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're not some slimy Death Eater but... If you only want to survive, why betray him? He's winning in case you haven't noticed."
"Why indeed," Snape mused. "A vow. A vow is why. A vow I made to Dumbledore swearing that I would do everything I could to protect you."
Harry froze. "Me? What are you talking about?! You hate me!"
"I don't hate you, Potter," Snape said, shaking his head. "I certainly don't like you, but I never hated you."
"Then why...?"
"Because of your mother, Potter," Snape said. Harry's eyes widened. "I know you know that I knew her. What you probably don't know, however, is that I loved her." Harry was silent, but his mouth was wide open in an incredulous gape. "Yes, Potter, I have feelings," Snape said dryly. Harry shut his mouth. "I loved your mother. She was my first friend. I... I didn't know that she would be killed because of the prophecy. I begged the Dark Lord to spare her and when he didn't, I turned to Dumbledore in grief. I swore a vow to protect you to gain his trust."
"Then why did you always treat me so badly?" Harry asked.
"Think, boy!" Snape snapped. "Honestly! I knew the Dark Lord was not gone and I couldn't risk being kind to the Boy-Who-Lived or my loyalty would be questioned!"
"All this time... you were on our side..." Harry whispered, his eyes staring unseeingly at the ground.
"Our side," Snape scoffed. "And what is that, pray tell. What side are you on, Potter?"
Harry tensed. "What are you talking about?!"
"Do not take me for a fool, Potter," Snape hissed, pushing himself off the wall he'd been standing on as he stalked closer. "You think I don't know?"
"Know what...?" Harry asked, his eyes wide as his heart pounded against his chest. Surely... Surely he didn't...
"I found out the Dark Lord had taken a lover almost two years ago," Snape said, his eyes dark and accusing. Harry felt his breath hitch in the back of his throat. "I had, of course, assumed it was one of his followers. Bellatrix, perhaps, as she was always crawling all over him. Never, though, did I assume it would be someone from the other side."
"Snape—"
"And I certainly never assumed it would be the very boy who was prophesied to save us all," Snape continued, his face twisted with rage. "And yet when Harry Potter left Hogwarts and disappeared, the rage the Dark Lord went into afterward made no sense. Not until I connected the dots."
"Snape it's not what you think—"
"Really?!" Snape hissed. "Tell me then. You're not sleeping with the Dark Lord? You're not having sex with the man who murdered hundreds of people? You're not sharing a bed with the monster that murdered your mother?!"
Harry flinched, his fists clenching hard enough that his fingernails dug into the meat of his palms. "It's... It's complicated."
Snape laughed a cold, bitter laugh without any humor. "Oh? Explain it then. Un-complicate it."
Harry swallowed dryly. "He's... He's not the same... with me..." he whispered, ignoring Snape's scoff. "It's true! He's kind and gentle. I didn't like him at first but he just wouldn't go away. He didn't give up!"
"He's using you!" Snape hissed.
"He's not!" Harry cried. "You don't understand! He loves me—"
"He loves you?! Potter do you even hear yourself?! Merlin, you're like a child. You are a child. A naive, stupid, idiotic child," Snape snarled. "He's using you. You're falling for his lies and you don't even see that!"
"I know he's not a good person!" Harry cried, shame and guilt bubbling in the bottom of his stomach. "I'm not stupid!"
"You could've fooled me," Snape deadpanned. "Why stay with him, then, hmm? Do you even realize how many people you've betrayed? He murdered your parents!"
"He tried to spare her!" Harry cried, tears springing into his eyes. "He gave her three chances! She didn't move! He tried to spare her!"
"HE STILL KILLED HER!" Snape roared. "He murdered your mother and countless others and you still let him sleep with you?! He's a monster! He doesn't feel! He doesn't care about you, Potter, he's using you for his own gain. When he's done with you, he'll throw you out and you'll have nothing! No one! You stupid, insolient, moronic—"
"I love him!" Harry cried, shoving Snape backward. Snape fell silent, his mouth closing with an audible click. Harry choked on his breath, blinking away the blurriness in his eyes. "I love him," he whispered, his breath hitching. "I love him."
It was silent for a long time, then. Harry stood there shaking, biting back the sobs while Snape stared at him, a blank expression on his face. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Snape clicked his tongue and sighed.
"You stupid child," he said without any bite. "You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into. You sold your soul to the devil."
"I know he's a bad person," Harry whispered, his voice cracking. "I'm not blind to the bad things he's done. I know he's hurt a lot of people, myself and the people I care about included. I... I love him and sometimes I hate myself for loving him. But... I can't stop.
"He doesn't feel remorse," Harry continued, looking up at Snape. "But he still feels things! He pursued me. He's a bad person, I know, but he isn't always. He's sweet, thoughtful and caring and so gentle, too. He makes me happy even when I'm angry."
"Harry..." Snape's use of his first name only made Harry let out a bitter chuckle.
"I've seen who he is, Snape, I'm not the naive child you think I am," Harry said. "I left him because he's not someone I can stay with. I love him and I want to be with him, but he's not my Tom anymore.
"He split his soul, Snape," Harry said. If Snape was surprised by this, he didn't show it. His face remained completely emotionless as Harry continued. "He's insane. I can't... I can't have my happily ever with him until he's whole again. That's why I'm doing this. Call me selfish but I..." Harry swallowed dryly. "I want my happily ever after. And I want it with him."
Snape sighed, and when he spoke, there was no bite to his tone. He just sounded weary. As if he were too exhausted to continue. "You'll never have your happily ever after, Potter. Not with him," he said. "He'll never be whole."
"You don't know that!" Harry cried. "I... I've already destroyed most of his Horcruxes. They return to him when they're destroyed! I just have to find the last one and then it will be over!"
"Harry," Snape said, and Harry looked up at him, surprised by the use of his first name. "You will never get your happily ever after with him. He will never be whole. Do you know why?"
Harry didn't want to listen. He wanted to cover his ears. He wanted to run away. He wanted to go back to Tom's arms where he was safe, where the shame and guilt didn't threaten to suffocate him.
"You, Harry Potter, are the Dark Lord's last Horcrux," Snape spoke. Harry felt like the world was suddenly too large and too small. The world was crashing apart and Snape continued speaking as though he didn't feel it. "You will never live to see happily ever after because you will be too dead to see it."
They were sitting by the window in the library, Hermione resting against Ron's chest as she read, Ron playing with her frizzy hair, absently listening to whatever remarks Hermione made while she read. The scene was so nostalgic, Harry couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. They hadn't changed a bit, even after everything that happened.
"Hey guys," Harry said, drawing their attention to him.
They jumped when they saw him, Hermione tossing her book to the side in a very un-Hermione-like fashion, Ron and Hermione lunging forward to tackle him into a hug. "HARRY!" they cried.
Harry chuckled, wrapping them both into a tight hug. "I missed you guys—OW!" Harry winced, rubbing the spot on his arm where Hermione had smacked him. "Hermione what..." He trailed off when he saw the look on her face. Her eyebrows were drawn down with rage, but her eyes were watery and her lips quivered against the frown she tried to hold.
"HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU ABSOLUTE ARSE!" she screamed, raising her hand to smack him again and again. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO US?!"
"'Mione I can explain," Harry said, ducking as she tried to slap him again. "I know you're angry about Tom but—"
"TOM?! TOM?!" she screeched. She turned around to grab the book she'd been reading earlier, using the book to hit Harry's chest. "YOU THINK I'M MAD BECAUSE YOU SHAGGED THE DARK LORD?!"
"I... um..." Harry stuttered, genuine fear rising in his chest as Hermione showed no signs of stopping. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ron steadily backing away from his raging girlfriend.
"I AM FURIOUS WITH YOU! YOU... You... you..." Hermione hit him one last time before she left the book on his chest, leaning forward as she broke down into ugly sobs. "You... absolute arsehole!" she sobbed. "You were dead! You died! You—"
"Hermione..." Harry whispered. He pulled the crying girl into his arms. Hermione dropped the book and wrapped her arms around Harry tightly. "I'm sorry. About everything. I'm so sorry."
They stood there, Hermione soaking Harry's shirt with tears, Ron looking incredibly awkward in the corner as Harry attempted to console her. Finally, Hermione pulled away and rubbed her face with her arm, her face flushed red and blotchy.
"How could you not tell us?!" she asked, her voice cracking.
Harry winced, and he quickly turned to sit down, patting the seat next to him. This was going to take a while. "I... I didn't know how," he answered honestly. "If I told you I was a Horcrux, you would never have let me gone through with it—"
"Damn right we wouldn't," Ron muttered angrily.
"—and I had no way of explaining to you why I had to do it," Harry continued. "Not without telling you about..."
"The Dark Lord you've been fucking behind our backs," Ron snapped. Harry winced.
"Yeah..." Harry sighed. "It's a right mess, isn't it?"
"How did this even happen?" Hermione asked, biting her lip.
"To be honest, I don't really know," Harry said. "I think it started when I picked up Tom Riddle's Diary in second year. Or maybe it was in the graveyard in fourth year? Or the summer before fifth, when Tom started kidnapping me and taking me on these 'dates'. Honestly, it was all a blur. It just sort of... happened."
"Blimey mate," Ron whispered. "That's nuts!"
"Tell me about it," Harry laughed. He then frowned, his eyes darting from his friend's incredulous faces to the floor. "I didn't know how to tell you. Or if I ever should. It was all so complicated. Later I found out that Tom and I are soulmates, which I suppose explains the connection between us."
"Soulmates?!" Ron exclaimed.
"That's what Death said," Harry shrugged.
"Death?!" Ron cried.
"Apparently when I collected all the hollows and then walked to my death, I became the Master of Death," Harry explained. "So instead of dying, I went to this place called the In Between. I guess it was kind of like limbo?
"Er, anyway, I was able to see you guys while I was there," he continued. "I watched everything that happened after I died. I met my parents and Sirius and Remus, too. They... They knew about me and Tom..."
"Oh Harry," Hermione whispered, gently taking Harry's hand.
"They... they didn't care," Harry said softly. "Can you believe that?! They didn't even care! They just wanted me to be happy!"
"Harry—"
"What about you guys?" Harry asked, turning to face them again. "Are you angry with me? I mean, the Dark Lord is my soulmate. I've been in a relationship with him since sixth year."
"SIXTH YEAR?!" Ron cried.
"I... I'm not angry," Hermione said softly. "I just... I just need some time to process. To be fair, I've processed it a lot, but seeing you and him together wasn't something I was prepared for."
Harry bit his lip. "Ron...?" This was the reaction he was most scared for.
Ron was silent for a long time. "You were dead, mate," he said finally, looking away from him. "The war's over and you were dead. You're my best mate and I had to watch that man carry you into Hogwarts like a trophy. I just... I just can't... Not right now..."
Harry watched Ron walk away from him with heavy eyes, and Harry bit his lip harder, trying to stop himself from crying. He wasn't surprised, not really. He knew Ron would react badly to this, so he wasn't sure why it hurt so much.
Hermione squeezed his hand. "He needs time, Harry," she said. "This is a lot to deal with. Neither of us has really processed it, we were too busy trying to bring you back. Now that you're here..."
"I get it," he said with a nod. And he did. He knew that this was going to be a hard pill to swallow, and he didn't even want to think about how the public was going to react to this. "Should I... Should I give him some space?"
Hermione nodded. "Just for a little bit," she said. "He'll come to you when he's ready."
Harry nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I really am sorry," he said softly. "For scaring you and lying to you."
"Oh Harry, we know," Hermione said. She leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "You are still my best friend, Harry. That's not going to change," Harry nodded, not trusting himself to speak without crying. She just smiled. "I better go after him," she said. "He'll come around. Don't worry."
"He always does," Harry agreed, watching as she gave him another quick hug before she went after him.
Harry sat in the library for a few minutes, collecting himself, before he stood up and returned to Tom's room. When he arrived, Tom was lying on the bed with his eyes closed. Harry didn't believe he was asleep for a second, but he didn't want to disturb the peaceful atmosphere, so he took off his shirt and pants and crawled under the covers next to him.
Tom wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and pulled him closer, burying his face in Harry's neck. One second Harry was smiling and the next Harry was asleep.
He dreams of Merope, with her twisted features and hunched back. She smiles at him, pulling him into a tight hug. For the first time, she looks genuinely happy, tears of joy making her dull eyes sparkle.
"Thank you," she whispered. "You loved my son and that changed everything. Thank you."