I sat at my desk, looking over the script that Josby wanted me to perfect. He said it was good but it just needed something more. I wanted to gag when he told me that, being the old creepy man he was. But I was one of his best writers there. I did owe a lot to him.
"Knock, knock." I heard someone say. I groaned lightly as I remembered the tone of voice from anywhere. I looked up with the dirtiest look I could have.
"What are you doing here, DJ?" I blurted, looking at my ex boyfriend. DJ and I had a long history, a long history that wasn't good at all. His grandfather is Josby, and that's how we met. However after dating for about a few years, we ended on a nasty note. We were together right when I moved here, and he hasn't left me alone since. He thinks we're friends and is totally blind to all the stuff he did to me in our relationship, but we are the farthest from friends.
"Just wanted to stop in and say hi," He moves to the seats that are sat across my desk. "I was just around and I knew you still worked here, so I thought we could catch up."
"Well, hate to break it to you. But there will be no catching up, I don't want to catch up." I mumbled, as I was trying to concentrate on my work. His guy never got the hint. It drove me insane. It had been years since we broke up and yet he still thinks he has a chance. I think he likes being rejected. "Besides, didn't your grandpa fire you?"
He snickered and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, he did." He crossed his legs and his arm, with a small smirk on his face. "But doesn't mean I can't visit my poor grandfather at his job! I had the day off of work, so I wanted to see him. You know, to catch up?"
"Well, does he know you are here?" I asked, trying my best to end this conversation quickly so he can leave me the hell alone and get out of my site.
"No he does not."
I shut down my laptop, knowing that my shift is already done anyways. I am not putting up with this bullshit today. I already have enough bullshit happening in my own personal life and dealing with my annoying ex boyfriend is nowhere on the list. I put my laptop in my tote bag and stand up. "Where are you going?" DJ asked me.
"None of your business," I let him know, grabbing onto my keys. "But thanks for the useless conversation. That's like five minutes of my life I will never get back." I walked out of my office and secured the tote bag that was on my shoulder. I didn't even bother to look back, because I had more important things to worry about.
Tonight I was going to go see my older brother Reed. We always had a good relationship and not like the other brother and sister relationships you see on TV. I think it was because I was more of a tomboy growing up, so to him it felt like he had a younger brother instead of a sister. To play outside to collect Marvel comics, he was my go to buddy.
He moved out to LA not too long after I did. Reed was a successful business man and a total playboy. But besides all his good looks and success, one thing that never changed about him was his good heart. That's what I loved about my brother. No matter how much he changes, at least he still and always will have a good heart.
I got into my Camry and drove to his house which was just outside of the city of LA. I left work earlier so I didn't have to be involved in traffic. LA traffic is always the worst. Luckily, I missed only by a few because it was almost five. I pulled up in his driveway and made my way to his door, knocking.
After knocking, I waited for what felt like forever until he swung open the door without a shirt and some basketball shorts. "What are you doing here?" He asked me. What?
"You idiot, did you forget that we had plans?!" I asked him, moving past him. "Reed! We've had this dinner planned for a whole week almost!"
"Oh... OH YEAH!" He remembered, as he rushed to put on a shirt. I chuckled lightly as he rushed to get ready. "Reece, I seriously forgot. I had this girl over last night and she didn't leave till this morning. I have just been so preoccupied with work and everything."
"Okay, I don't care, just hurry up and get dressed please and thank you!"
Reed had finally gotten dressed and we made it to one of the restaurants where he is known at. Being a successful business man in LA wasn't easy but he sure managed to get it done. Successful best friend, successful brother. All I needed was for myself to become a successful author but, a girl can fore sure dream.
"So," Reed sips on his white wine, looking at me. "Did you talk to Chris about it?"
"What, the engagement?" I asked him and he nodded. I let out a soft sigh, feeling like that's all I have been reminded of recently. Chris and Sawyer are still trying to find a date from what I heard from him. Sawyer has been getting really mad at him though about the whole thing. He doesn't want to rush anything and hurt anyone in the process. "Yeah, he thought I was going to hate him for it."
"Well, you did better than me then." He mumbled. "You know what I did? I told him that Sawyer was a nasty tramp who is full of STD's and parasites and that he knew better." I immediately covered my mouth in shock, but Reed doesn't have a filter at all. "I mean, I knew you weren't going to be that rude to him because he's your best friend but he's also one of my best friends too so I had to tell him what was up."
"Well... what did he say?" I asked.
"He was actually pretty quiet, like he knew he fucked up." He took another sip of his drink. "Maybe it is because everyone is criticizing him for his choice." Reed ran his fingers through his dark brown hair, just trying to think of at least something to say. "I hate to be the one to say it, but I have dated girls like that. He doesn't know what he is signing himself up for. That's why I don't date."
I let out a sigh, seeing how this has taken a big impact on not just me but the people around us. Nobody was happy about this. It wasn't because she was lowkey jealous, but all she wanted and what everyone else wanted was for Chris to be happy. To have someone who truly loves him and not just his fame and fortune. Someone who knew him like a poem. "Look, if he's happy... let's just be happy for him. That's all we can do, right?"
Reed shook his head and shrugged. "I mean, yeah... sure we can be happy for him." He lifts up his head to look me dead in the eyes. "Do you remember when he got the part for Captain America? He didn't call me, he didn't call Scott, he didn't call his parents first. Who was the first person he called?"
I wanted to avoid answering that question. Why was that? Because I knew the exact answer. It's an answer that just proves a solid point. I looked down at my lap, but I felt Reed's stare. "You know the answer to that question," He muttered. "It was you."
I sighed, as I looked back at him. Why did he have to bring that up? I haven't thought about that in so long. That I was the one that was convinced to play the character that changed his life forever and made him who he was today. Chris Evans was Captain America. I crossed my arms and sunk down in my seat. "Yeah, it was me. I didn't want to say it." I admitted.
"Because it's true." Reed rested his elbows on the table and leaned into it. "Yeah, I'm one of his best friends. We grew up together since we were in diapers, and I consider him a brother. However, he doesn't care about what I think about him. He doesn't care that I don't like his girlfriend or not and he especially doesn't care if I hate him or not. It's different with you."
"How is it different with me?" I asked him, and he scoffed.
"I mean, it's obvious." He said. "It was always Scott and I, Reece and Chris. You guys were and are still unseparated. The way Chris looks and acts around you, he doesn't do this for anyone else. You're special to him."
"What are you implying here?"
"Not implying anything, just telling the truth." He leans back in his chair and gives me a big grin. "I mean, this just reminds me of these cheesy romantic comedy movies, starring Drew Barrymore. Best friends since kids, they have a secret love for each other that they can't tell one another because it would wreck everything, evil hot ass girlfriend gets engaged to him, you... the other best friend get so angry and upset so you do something to get your emotions out, and somehow they end up happily ever after."
"You little shit," I muttered through my teeth. "Scott told you, didn't he?"
"He might've told you that you wanted to become the next Harper Lee." Reed mentions before the waitress pours more wine into his class. "Look, I am proud of you no matter what. If it makes you feel better, then so do it."
"What, do you think it's a stupid idea?" I asked him.
"No," He turns to thank the waitress and looks back at me. "Writing is what makes you the happiest and what makes you feel better. If this does both of that and keeps you distracted from whatever is going on in your head. Then do it, it'll be good for you." Reed smiled. "But I have to read it when it's done."
"You're not reading it."
After a nice dinner with Reed, I drove him back to his place because I didn't feel comfortable from all that alcohol in his system. But afterwards, I was rushing home. No, my house wasn't on fire. No, I'm not worried that someone broke into my home. When Reed mentioned the time that Chris got casted in his biggest movie role, I was the first person who called. I am the one who convinced him to take the part.
I pulled into my driveway, and rushed my way inside. I ran up the steps as fast as I could and tried kicking off my shoes. Eventually, I spotted my chair and computer waiting for me. I never have sat so fast in my whole life. "Reed, you fucking lifesaver." I mumbled to myself as I opened my word document where I have been writing this in. Immediately, my fingers went to work.
You know Chris? A thought came to mind while I was at dinner with Reed. Nobody is happy about this stupid engagement that you are in. Deep down, I wanted to believe not everyone besides Scott and I were mad at you. But I also found out Reed wasn't happy about it either. I am starting to think this engagement was the worst choice you could have possibly done.
But I can't stop this, and I keep reminding myself of that. But I just wish this stupid idea would just go away and leave me the hell alone. At least I am not doubting myself here like I normally do with choices. This choice? I don't believe in it. Not one bit. Maybe because you doubt yourself.
That's another thing I hate about you. When it comes to some of the biggest choices in your life, you try your best to make the worst scenario to happen! Well, every scenario I would want to happen... but you know I am right, Jellybean!
Like the one time you were afraid to get that part in Bye Bye Birdie because you didn't think you were good? Then Lisa copped some sense into you and then guess what happened? You nailed it! The star of the show! Or maybe that another time when you were offered the part of Captain America... I remember that.
Reed brought it up during dinner. I haven't thought about that moment in so long. So when he reminded me about it, it made me somewhat... sad? It's like as soon as he said it, everything was just flooding back. The emotion I felt then was how I felt at that moment. I remember, I was still home doing that other job I hated and Scott had already moved out to LA. I remember, it was a rainy night and I was so excited to Dateline but my phone started to ring.
"Hello?" I answered my phone as it rang besides me. I didn't get a chance to look at the caller ID but as I heard the sighs on the other line, I knew who it was and how it wasn't good. "Chris? Hey! What's up?"
"Do you have time to talk?" Chris begged. "I just need someone to talk to. I don't want to talk to anyone else because I love you dearly, and you are my best friend. Besides, you are pretty much to tell me if I am capable of doing something."
I sat up quickly, lowering the volume on my TV so I could hear him better. "Chris? Please tell me you didn't kill anyone because as much as I'd bail you out of jail for anything, I will not do it for that reason. Alright-?"
"No! I didn't kill anybody! Reece, seriously?! Come on!" He defended himself. "I am not that stupid when it comes to things like that."
"Okay, so what is it?"
He breathes in deeply, trying to find the best way to start. "Okay, so you know that big role I mentioned to you about a few weeks back?"
"Yeah, you mean the one you wouldn't tell me about because you said you didn't want me to get excited?" I asked him. "Because you said I would lose my shit?"
"Yes..." Chris sighed and then paused for a few moments. "Well, it was for Captain America. You know, you and Reed's favorite marvel character because Reed had a collection of them in his room? Yeah, it was for that."
I let out a yelp before realizing I didn't want him to notice my excitement too bad. Captain America?! I couldn't believe this. My best friend playing the thing Reed and I always bonded over? It's like god was supposed to make me best friends with Captain America. He literally is Captain America! "And they want me to play the part..."
"Chris! Oh my god-"
"But I can't do it." He whispered. "I can't play him..."
"Um, hello? Why can't you?" I said, shocked by what he was saying right now. Was Chris being stupid at this moment. He was meant to do this.
"Reece. I just don't think I can do it." He tells me. "A role? That huge? Something I don't think I am going to handle because I just don't think I am that good of an actor? Reece. I can't do it. There's no way. I'd fail."
"Chris," I sit up even straighter to the point where my back wasn't even against the couch anymore. "You told me if I thought you were capable of something right? And never in my whole life have I thought you were more capable of something than playing this part. Chris, you would be totally fucking nuts if you didn't take it!" He let out a sigh after I finish.
"I just don't think I am good enough for it." He tells me.
By this point, I am standing up and I can only focus on this conversation. "Chris! You are good enough for it! You are more good enough for it. You're more ENOUGH for it. You are amazing Chris. They picked you for a reason, didn't they?"
"Yeah, but I think they are making a mistake."
"If anything, you are if you don't take this." I let him know. "Because these opportunities in life will slip us by, we don't get a redo. We can't restart the game. They only happen once. The more you doubt about yourself, the faster these opportunities slip through your finger tips. I know you can do it... I believe in you."
At this moment, I wish I was with you and comforting you like those times when we were younger. But we were far apart.
We were far apart, for the longest time. But I believe that was the only time when we needed to be next to each other. You were so afraid that you couldn't live up the aspect people put in their heads. But now look at you! Three movies in and you are one of Hollywood's greatest actors! Still to this day, you always created me to be the one to convince you to take this. That to me, always makes me happy. I'm glad Reed reminded me of it. I totally needed the heart warming memory.
But gosh. I just wish you would just stop doubting everything you almost do. And the thing you asked me on that phone that night.
I'd tell you if you're capable of doing something.
Marrying Sawyer is definitely not on my list.
I hate how you doubt yourself.
-
Hi!!! Sorry for the late chapter. That's my apologies. I have just been so busy with school lately and I also having a lot of inspiration for other writing as well. College sucks and I am so ready to relax.
I am also getting prepared to go back to work! My workplace has been shut down since March of 2020 and we open up in May of next month so it's been a whole ass year. I'll be working there a lot as well too!
But thank you for all the love! Comment your thoughts! <3