So basically Gordie is depressing and is trying to explain it to his mom. everyone else is just watching.
Gordie: Mom, My depression is a shape shifter. One day It's as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear, the next it's the bear. On those days I play dead until the bear leaves me alone. I call the bad days "The Dark Days".
Melony: Try lighting candles.
Gordie: when I see a candle, I see the flesh of a church, The flicker of a flame sparks of a memory younger than noon and I am standing beside her open casket. It is the moment I learn every person I ever come to know Will Someday Die! Besides mom I'm not afraid of the dark, Perhaps that's part of the problem.
Melony: I thought the problem was that you can't get out of bed.
Gordie: I can't, Anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my house, inside of my head.
Melony: Where did Anxiety come from?
Gordie: Anxiety is the cousin visiting from out of town that depression felt obligated to invite to the party. Mom I am the party!! Only I am a party I don't want to be at.
Melony: Why don't you try going to actual parties, see your friends.
Gordie: Sure I make plans, I make plans but I don't want to go. I make plans because I know I should want to go; I know sometimes I would have wanted to go. It's just not that fun having fun when you don't want to have fun,mom. You see mom each night, insomnia sweeps me up in his arms, dips me in the kitchen in the small glow of the stove-light. Insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like the perfect company.
Melony: Try counting sheep.
Gordie: My mind can only count reasons to stay awake, so I go for walks, but my stuttering kneecaps clank like silver spoons held in strong arms with loose wrists. They ring in my ears like clumsy church bells, reminding me I am sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness, that I cannot baptize myself in.
Melony: Happy is a decision.
Gordie: My happiness is as hallow as a pin pricked egg, my happy is a high fever that will break.
Melony: You are so good at making something out of nothing 🙄. ....Are you afraid of dying?
Gordie: No I am afraid of living!!! Mom I am lonely!! I think I learned when dad left how to turn that anger into lonely, and the lonely into busy. So when I tell you I've been super busy lately I mean I've been falling asleep watching pokemon news on the couch, to avoid confronting the empty side of my bed, but my depression always drags me back to my bed until my bones are the forgotten fossils of a skeleton sunken city, my mouth a boneyard of teeth broken from bitting down on themselves. The hallow auditorium of my chest SWOONS with echos of a heart beat, but I am just a careless tourist here and I will never truly know everywhere I have been.
Melony: I don't understand 🤦.
Gordie: Mom can't you see, that neither can I.
Melony: oh stop taking it, your just doing it for attention.