" Make a wish, blow onto the lamp, and we'll let it float in the air. "
- N.Z
AS THE CROW'S BOAT WAS HAULED ONTO THE SHORE, Nina Zenic skidded down to Natasha's side as the boat swayed from left to right. "Sorry," she stammered, cheeks flushing as Natasha kindly held out her hand, helping her onto the scratch of sand surrounding Hellgate.
The prison undoubtedly lived up to its name.
Dark brick turrets bulged from the main compound, cone-shaped roofs heaped on top of one another. A small moat encircled the prison. The group stepped down the planks in costume, hardly standing out between the strangely attired crowds.
"Look alive," Nina whispered to Inej, poking her shoulder with a grin. Nina's long brown hair was styled into a bun, the strands tightly woven like the dense coil of rope. Loose strands framed her soft cheeks like water dripping down glass.
"When you're in a place like this, I'd prefer death," Inej replied darkly. She refused to stand by Kaz's side as he had refused to allow her knives to accompany them on the journey.
"They should just shut up and make out," Nina sighed, adjusting her long red veil.
"They'd both kill you if they heard you," Natasha sulked, linking arms with the heartrender and striding ahead of Kaz and Inej, who shared bitter remarks.
The lamps were strung across a thick metal pole, hovering above their head like branches of an old tree. Often, Nina would stretch onto her toes, grazing the thin red paper with her fingertips. "Why do you keep doing that?" Natasha asked, turning to Nina curiously.
"Good luck," she shrugged. Natasha had never taken Nina to be a believer.
They both continued in silence, listening for the faint thump of Kaz's cane against the pebbled floor. Inej was noiselessly advancing, her body hidden in the darkness.
She owes me.
The voice in Natasha's head said bitterly. Kaz prided his wraith on her stealth, her ability to blend in with the darkness. Inej herself believed the dark played at her leisure, her guardian.
If only she knew.
The voice was wicked, cruel even. Natasha shook out her shoulders, sighing low in the cold ocean air. Her fingers were curled into fists, blood rushing to the surface of her skin. Her fingertips felt numb, the darkness retracting within, slowly destroying her.
She pushed her arms behind her back, letting go of Nina's arm. "You go forth. I need to talk with Kaz." Natasha smiled, waving Nina forward and waiting for Brekker to catch up to her.
"What?" Kaz asked. The pair began to walk at a steady pace akin to the pulsing waves against the shore.
"Nothing," She replied quickly.
"You left Nina," He answered.
"I realised." Natasha was irritated and annoyed, but she didn't know why. Maybe it was her power, the fortress she had built inside her chest to conceal her secrets, slowly collapsing. Maybe, it was the sheer stupidity of this plan. Or perhaps, the voice whispered once more.
Maybe it's because of him.
"No," she hissed, her hands fisting into balls. Kaz cast her a look of sheer confusion.
Her skin itched, and her body lit up with flames. Natasha's insides withered, and pain seared down her chest and hammered against her skull. Natasha thrust a firm hand against her chest, winding half the air out of her lungs.
Her power tugged at her heart. Each minute that passed, it crimped her very being, pounding against her skin, for an escape, like the beat of drums. She wouldn't give into the darkness.
She couldn't.
"Stop it." His gloved hand encircled her wrist, resting between the space of her heart.
"Go, I'll catch up with you," she breathed, her knees nearly buckling. Her eyes swam with stars, darkness oozing into her vision like ink in a glass of water. The pain throbbed sluggishly in her chest, each strike more tender than the last.
"I'm not leaving one of my own for dead," Kaz had said, rolling his eyes. He struggled internally at his own words. Once again, Natasha Van Doren had found an opening to reenter his life. She was now one of his own.
He swung his crow cane beneath his elbow, forcing her right arm to hand over his shoulder. The pair limped forward in a path Natasha had carved out the light.
The pain gradually released, and her vision cleared. Natasha could hear Kaz's hoarse breathing against her neck as they walked forth. "You alright now?" he asked.
Her muscles had begun to loosen, the pain now completely gone from her chest. She looked to her right, his gloved hands grazing her neck.
She didn't understand what she wanted from him. All she knew was that she couldn't stand to see Inej with him. "A few more minutes,"
His jaw tightened, almost as if he knew she was lying. But why would she? he questioned, her beating heart only mere inches from his own. What would Natasha Van Doren gain from the hands of Kaz Brekker?
Death. Jordie's voice reminded him.
Kaz had sworn that one day he'd murder Natasha. The first time had been a joke shared between children. Natasha replied with a snort, throwing a tin can at his bad leg as a retort. But as they grew older - and apart - he couldn't remember when the joke had bled into reality.
Could he murder a friend?
'She used to be your friend,' He reminded himself.
Behind his mask, Kaz scowled. What they had was history. Natasha was a shadow summoner and had hunted a path she knew would separate them. She had left their friendship, everything, for a fantasy. Natasha didn't deserve him back. She merited that beloved darkness of hers.
"I think you're fine now," Kaz said, shaking his arm off her back and pulling his cane out from under his elbow. Natasha staggered on her feet before steadying herself against a lamppost.
Her hand clenched into a fist, and the trail of shadows she had left dissolved into the air. Nobody knew what had happened. And it was to remain that way. Kaz Brekker didn't pull favours without wanting payment for his services.
Not usually, anyway.
His pace quickened, and his leg twisted at a harsh angle. His pain was veiled with a frown hidden behind the pair of comical orange glasses. Her lips tightened into a half-smile, entertained by his new look.
"Stop smiling at me like that," Kaz hissed, twisting round to tell Natasha to hurry up.
She moved forward on her jewelled shoes, the fake diamonds peeling off the satin slip. She felt the squelch of horse muck beneath the rubbered soles, the noise following her for the remainder of the trip.
"Does anyone smell that?" Inej grimaced, turning back to face Kaz, Nina and Natasha.
"Nope," Nina said lightly, too lost in the flash of the lights to pay attention to anything. "You know we should all stop to make wishes," she grinned, holding out her hand to stop Kaz from slipping forth.
"We're here for a job, Zenic. Shut up and move."
"Don't tell me to shut up, Brekker," Nina said, unhooking a lamp from its stand and cupping it between her palms. "You know, it won't hurt to smile. It would do you some good,"
"Oh, trust me, Kaz's smile is saved exclusively for murderous intention," Natasha mumbled. Inej and Kaz shared an echoed glance of irritation before stalking over to the pair of them.
"Make a wish, blow onto the lamp, and we'll let it float in the air." Nina held the lamp close, almost like a timid rabbit in her hands. She mumbled a few words along the line of safety, Helvar and the second army before passing it towards Inej.
"Do I have to do this?" Inej grumbled, frowning down at the oil-lit lamp. She whispered into the candle, pressing the paper against her forehead. "Take it," Inej said, turning on her heel and stalking to Nina's side.
"Your turn." Nina grinned.
"I wish for the blessing of my saints, the prosperity of my parents' land and the light to shine once more,"
It was the prayer Natasha had grown up saying, the prayer she had repeated for sixteen years with no answer.
Before turning the paper to Nina, she bought the lamp to her lips a second time, almost kissing the soft tissue. "I wish for the life I should have had."
"What did you wish for?" Nina asked eagerly, gently pushing the lamp into Kaz's chest.
"If you tell people your wish, it won't come true," Natasha answered.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say," Kaz said. Natasha glowered at the smirk playing across Inej's lips.
"You believed it well enough when we were kids," Natasha retorted.
---
Kaz Brekker and Natasha sat beneath a tree, a can of soda exchanged between the two every few minutes. Its branches, embraced by cherry blossoms, draped over their heads like skeletal fingers, its claws brushing against the back of their necks.
The sky was flooded with darkness, and licks of shadow danced in her open palm. "Let's make a wish," Kaz said, pointing up to the star shooting across the hazy canvas.
Natasha clapped her hands in agreement, screwing her eyes shut and tilting her chin towards the sky. Kaz did the same.
The stars disappeared with a pop, and the pair cried, glancing at each other with childish grins. "What did you wish for?" Kaz asked, taking a swig from the near-empty can. He tossed it onto her lap, allowing her the flat dregs.
"Mama says if you tell people your wishes, they won't come true," Natasha said solemnly. She flattened the can between her palms, blowing wreaths of the shadows around it. Kaz watched with passive interest as she flicked it away, the black streaks disappearing into wisps.
"I'll never tell anyone my wishes. I swear," A young Kaz said, crossing a hand across his heart. "I want all my wishes to come true."
"Same." Natasha had smiled, twisting her pinkie around Kaz's. "Now," she said, jumping onto her feet. "Race you down the hill..."
---
"You guys knew each other when you were kids?"
Nina gasped; Natasha's hand flew across her mouth. Kaz glared at the floor, his eyes glazed with heated rage. She was surprised he hadn't threatened to smash his crow cane into her leg. Even better, he hadn't.
"Barely," Kaz said, his cheeks flooded with fresh and controlled anger. His lips knotted at the sight of her, his brow furrowing furiously. He hissed words into the lamp, almost extinguishing the candle.
"If you don't believe in it, what did you wish for?" Nina asked curiously.
"I can't tell," Kaz said flatly, snatching his cane.
"Why not?"
"Many years ago, I made a promise," he responded, glancing in Natasha's direction.
A/N
- I hope you like the small flashback of young Kaz and Natasha. The Easter holidays have started, so there will be a lot of updates in the next three weeks! If you enjoyed this chapter, please vote and comment!
- Ti Amo, Rosa <3