The full moon was getting closer, the first one since the night at the Shrieking Shack. Remus was dealing with some familiar symptoms of dysmorphia, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. He didn't want to eat for a week now and the yellowish light from the summer days was giving him headaches. Didn't matter from which angle he looked or felt his body, his proportions just felt wrong, bringing an unsettling restlessness to him. He didn't even know what to do to feel right again.
Severus was giving him some private time this morning but also not letting Remus' mood swings get into his way of being present. The werewolf was far too skilled at isolating and hiding things, Severus just wouldn't let him have it.
Snape prepared some tea and toasts for him. He even cared to go out and buy the light versions of the things Remus ate normally. Severus knew his dysmorphia came from the transformation and exacerbated tactile sensation, but it was also weight-related. Remus had always been too awkward to truly mention it but Severus knew Lupin was sensible about it when he was struggling like this. And by all means, if it will make Remus eat again, he'll buy whatever version of bread he has to.
Snape wasn't sure if he was still asleep so he knocked, a small tray levitating close to him. He heard some approving words and entered, taking a moment to adapt his sight to the darkness.
Remus had mixed feelings when he heard the metallic sound of the tray landing on the nightstand. It irritated him because he said he didn't want to eat but at the same time, Remus knew that acid annoyance wasn't him. He knew there was something inside of his mind that wanted him to starve, that wanted him to feel light-headed from hunger.
The werewolf was laying down in bed, wearing loose comfortable clothes. Snape sat by side and when he caressed Remus gently on his shoulders, the tension in the room seemed to quickly unwind.
After a while Remus also sat down, he felt a weakness coming from his wrists, they seemed to weigh unusually more than before. Made his movements slower and heavier. Not eating properly was making his sleep so much worse and Severus was worried about it.
"Bought some things for you at the grocery shop. Try to eat something" Snape said caressing his hand in the darkroom
That's when Remus started feeling guilty for being annoyed before. He hadn't said anything, but he signed when he felt the scent of food.
"You didn't have to, you're too kind," Remus said apologetically, now recognizing the brands of the products in the tray. He couldn't remember when someone had been this understanding.
"Wasn't trouble at all, I bought a few things for the next few days too"
Remus frowned. Severus was a creature of habit and it was a strange day for him to shop for things in a bigger market.
Severus took notice and amused himself with how much Remus knew him already. Nobody had ever known him in such detail before and instead of being eerie, it was pleasant.
"I believe you already know I have something to say, then," Snape said levitating the plate with toasts and bringing it closer
"I don't know what it is, but... I guess so" Remus replied, suddenly feeling excited. Severus was undeniably happy about something
"I sent a letter to a potion master in London some time ago. And the reply arrived earlier this morning" Severus informed. He didn't want to interrupt Remus finally eating so he continued. "You see, not many wizards can produce Wolfsbane and not many have the resources needed. So I offered to teach him how to do it if he provides the tools and ingredients. As far as I know, his supplier for Wolfsbane is not from England, so he is very interested"
Remus was speechless Severus went this far to produce his potion out of Hogwarts. He had always been quite discrete of his craft, never even claiming the spells he had created.
Severus felt Remus hugging him, soon retributing slightly, not putting much pressure around his midsection.
"It's so much more than I deserve," he said with a weak voice
"You deserve to live a good life, Rem. And I've been willing to try having more contact with other potion masters, you gave me a good reason to. I'll go to London tomorrow morning and must be back in two days. Come with me" Severus offered
Lupin knew this offer was more out of politeness, Severus wouldn't imply he is too debilitated to travel with him.
"I'll stay, Sev. I don't feel so good, I don't want you to worry about me while you're there"
Severus looked at his lover and couldn't avoid thinking it wasn't a great idea to leave Remus alone. Starving the way he had been doing is a type of self-harm too, although not many people addressed it that way. Buying the food himself, with his money, was his way to ensure Remus would eat it in his absence.
"Promise me you will be fine," Severus said in a demanding way
"You know things don't work this way," Remus said trying to avoid the promise
"Oh, but they do. Promise me or you can start packing" Severus said seriously but also giving away on being concerned
"Alright, I... promise I'll be ok"
On the following day, Severus woke up early to find the weather had changed unexpectedly fast. It was chilling, but Remus didn't seem to be reacting accordingly to it during his sleep. Snape, on the other hand, had a hard time warming his hands and feet.
He had everything he needed in a suitcase so he said goodbye to a half-asleep Remus and went to his living room to use the Floo Network to get to the nearest station. In London, the potion shop was close to some other well-known stores for supplies, places he knew well. So even if he hadn't been to that particular one before, finding it wouldn't be so hard.
The truth is that Snape had never been a huge fan of traveling. He hated packing, sleeping in places he didn't trust and if he didn't have the choice of the Floo Network and his dark magic to transport himself from one place to another, he would gladly stay in the same place unbothered for the rest of his life.
Snape was early for his appointment, so he walked around the street to see how things had changed from the last time he'd been there a few years back. It was rather strange to know the neighborhood was under a heavy layer of glamour for the muggles that lived nearby.
"Sometimes the best way to hide something is keeping it in plain sight" Severus thought to himself while he observed two teenage witches holding hands while sharing pumpkin icecream outside a candy shop. The sight made Snape nostalgic for something he hadn't lived. Must be a real treat to be a teenager in a more open-minded society.
Severus ended up buying a book to keep him entertained at night. London never disappointed in the options available for basically anything. And it made him remember that tomorrow he could go out searching for a specific item he had talked to Remus about. One thing Snape would probably never get used to was how people acted differently in London. The magical community was strong and they didn't have this irrational fear of being discovered embedded in them like wizards coming from smaller cities.
With the agreed time coming closer, Snape went to the potion shop and took a solemn look before entering. Inside, it was very much like most potions shops: lots of containers enclosed with corks, all the walls had shelves up to the top and some of the potions on the highest levels were protected by spells and, of course, a section for utensils such as caldrons, knifes with the most unlikely angles and self-cleaning pestles. It was almost outrageous how Slytherins usually had an affinity with potion making, Severus identified the colors of the house in the decoration the moment he stepped in. It was almost as entering the common room located in the dungeons.
It was a rather busy day for them, it seemed. Lots of wizards looking at the potions with good discounts and people waiting in line for the special requests. Made Severus wonder if he could ever do the same, having a business for his own potion-making had always been something too distant for him, however, maybe now he could be a little closer to that.
He exchanged a few words with the wizard that seemed to be responsible for that shift and he said he'd notify his boss of Snape's arrival. Snape was offered a seat in a more reserved part of the shop, saying a brief mental goodbye to that familiar environment and the pleasant scent coming from that particular shelf where they kept the stress relief potions.
While waiting a few minutes, Snape started to get intimidated by the place. This wizard knew his business, Balsamum was one of the most well-established potion shops of their time. They started with a line exclusively for medical treatments and they expanded to more regular uses a few years ago, probably one of the most reliable brands to have at home.
However, Snape didn't have much time to dwell on his insecurities since he heard two voices coming from the corridor. The girl had a bit of an accent and sounded relatively young, the other voice tho, that one could be easily coming from a man in his forties.
When Snape stood up to greet them, given they approached him in a friendly way, the ginger girl got one step behind. Snape recognized her immediately from the candy shop and she seemed to be petrified about the potential outcome of this. Severus understood in a second after looking into her expression, quickly gave all his attention to her presumed father.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Snape. You look exactly as your handwriting suggested, I must say. Slughorn always spoke very highly of you. I'm sure we can both benefit from this meeting" he said very professionally
Snape wasn't sure how to take the comment, although for the way he sounded, seemed like a friendly compliment.
"Nice meeting you too, Mr. Chapelle. I was most pleased by your invitation" Severus remarked while they shook hands. "And you are Miss Chapelle, I assume," Snape asked politely to the young lady as if he had never seen her in his life before
"I am, but you can call me Octavia. Please don't be offended by my father's comments, he often forgets people don't have knowledge about his obsession of the week" She said almost apologetically
"So you take an interest in Graphology?" Severus asked him as they started to go to his office
"Oh no, you are the first person to actually know the name of it. Beware, my father likes to hear himself speak" the young witch said giving the older wizard a tap on the shoulder. "I'll leave you, gentleman, to it" she said as they were about to enter the office
The conversation with Mr. Chapelle started easily enough, he indeed liked to share about the object of his studies. Snape asked if his daughter was studying at Hogwarts and he informed that she went to Beauxbatons due to their French heritage. Chapelle also made sure to reiterate that he meant his first comment as a compliment since Snape's handwriting was fast but very readable, a sign commonly associated with intelligence. Also remarking he looked very reserved and that his small letters indicated someone with a more introverted nature rather than extroverted tendencies. And to finish his unrequested, however, now welcomed analysis, he stated that the way Severus utilized the right margin suggested he was very meticulous, a great trade for a potions master.
"I must say I am impressed, Mr. Chapelle. Your assumptions are very accurate" Snape said shamelessly, knowing it implied he believed himself to be smart. Which he obviously was, but didn't have the habit to point out. "So on that matter, I dare to say you are also very much like your handwriting suggested," Snape said in a respectful tone
"I'd love to hear your thoughts on it" The older wizard said intrigued
"Your handwriting is curved to the right, meaning you can be receptive to others, as you explained. The letter itself had a very polished look and, individually, the letters have a simple direct structure to them. And the tendency of the line is to go upwards, indicating planning and confidence" Snape said in a slight reflexive way
"Ah, you see! The fast readable writing never lies, you have a good memory. And learns fast. So tell me, Mr. Snape, how do you believe we can help each other?"
During the next hour or so, the two wizards discussed how their association would be. Severus did his homework on how to negotiate his teachings since like in most of his potions, he had perfected the preparation. They agreed in Severus receiving a good percentage of each potion sold. Which wouldn't be many, due to its price and demand. Nonetheless, this was a great start for Severus, who was just starting this new part of his profession. It would be branded as a Balsamum's variant for the original and Snape's name would be included in the parchment that came with it. Not that it was even a choice, it was mandatory due to laws over patents and variants. Something Mr. Chapelle seemed to be very well versed on, given the size of his business.
The evening was spent downstairs, in a very well secured basement designed for potion making, as they mentioned in the letters. At first sight, Severus was delighted to see such a well-equipped and organized place. Everything there was new, calibrated, extremely sharp when it came to cutting utensils, and precise for measuring tools.
"I felt the same way when I saw this place assembled for the first time, Snape. And I knew this moment would come"
"What moment, sir?" Snape said still looking around, eyes marveled with all he could work with in the next hours
"For the new generation to come here teach me something new"
The evening was long, but very well spent. Turns out that they actually understood each other quite well in their ways of preparing tools and setting everything first before setting a fire under the cauldron. After leaving the formalities of first impressions and business behind for a while, it was visible they enjoyed speaking to someone who understood the little joys of potion-making. At least twice during the preparation, they exchanged cathartic looks of "you do that too?", soon to go back to work feeling more understood than they have been in years behind a boiling solution.
Mr. Chapelle, Henri by now, had proven himself to be a quick learner as well. Snape was most flattered that he took notes of everything he wrote on a board before they began brewing the wolfsbane. Snape would always be one step ahead to make sure he showed the procedure and helped the other to execute it perfectly. And Mr. Chapelle would always try to make associations with the theory and practical part, something Snape loved to see in his best students.
When it came to the most delicate and crucial parts of the potion, Snape made sure they were both focused although they were having a good time. Aconite is very poisonous and if not neutralized properly, the fumes could be dangerous to the potion master. And when the subject was dangerous fumes, Snape had his fair share already.
"I now see I have made a great business deal with you, Severus," henri said removing his gloves after that part of the potion was done and brewing slowly over the flames
"Why would you say that?" Snape asked intrigued, finally sitting down as well
"Because if I were to follow the original procedure, I would have never done it properly. Slughorn helped Damocles to the best of his ability to make the potion stable enough to be drunk, but even so... That process to add layers to it before adding to the potion is... brilliant! There I said it. Tomorrow we can start our research on how to optimize these layers as they degrade in the solution and make them a permanent part of the potion. And never mention this part of the process to anyone, this is now our industrial secret"
Severus was most pleased to hear that. He didn't mention the other potion he made for Remus, the one in which he got this idea of crystallization and took to another level. He still had to find a way to make its production less dangerous and handmade. But maybe this would be something he'd like to have only his name to. It could wait, as long as he registered the crystallization method on his behalf, which he now definitely would.
After waiting for the potion to be brewed, they cleaned everything for the next day and Severus shared his thoughts on what should be the proper proportions for their patent. Mr. Chapelle took note and said he'd drive them to another facility to take a closer look into that. Tomorrow they would dedicate themselves to producing more wolfsbane and Severus would take a look into Henri's potion-making without his instructions.
Mr. Chapelle said he would invite him to have a drink in a pub nearby but it was date night with his wife and that was completely unnegotiable. Snape reassured him that he was too tired from the trip and long day to do anything else than going to the hotel he had booked and sleeping.
Except he wasn't.
Snape knew he'd stay another night, but that by their conversation went, he'd probably have dinner with Mr. Chapelle. Which led him to a final task of this day that seemed more like a year, going to this famous sex shop to purchase what Remus and he had discussed.
Snape was lucky to be the only one in the store at the moment. Even if no one knew him there, it was a bit odd. Especially because he had to ask for the least known items most of the time.
The witch that owned the shop gave him attention and treated him very nicely, she knew her way into making her customers tell what they are looking for. Severus was glad she was so comfortable and casual about speaking of her BDSM collection, she wore a very discrete collar herself and he figured it was a safe environment.
While she guided them to the bondage part of the shop, Severus admired her politely as he followed. She was the embodiment of a fifty-year-old dominatrix with years of experience, the place was so beautifully decorated it could be her own house, and the fact that powerful witch, with more skills in sex magic than Severus would ever have, was wearing a collar rather proudly made her a complete kinky artwork. This is what being a switch was all about.
"Darling, don't be shy, you can try them on if you like," she said confidently while sitting on her red leather couch to give her customer some counseling while he made his choice. "That one in your right gives you a discount on the matching handcuffs" she added
Severus took a look but he couldn't imagine Remus being comfortable wearing it. It had spikes and a punk rock look to it.
"I don't think it suits him too much," Severus said out of reflex and yet, not regretting to give that information away
"Oh, I see... Since it's a gift I can give you a nice box for a collaring themed scene. Tell me, how does he look like? And will you two be using it for sex o just a scene without pulling the collar?" she asked coming in his direction, the lady was on a mission now
"I liked your suggestion for the box, he'll like it. I will... to the very least. He's tall, thin, pale skin, brown hair. And it can't be too thin, I believe I'll be pulling it during the scene" he informed, missing Remus a little bit already
"I think... since he is tall and has brown hair, this one over here will be a good match. Doesn't look like much on the shelf, but I'll put it on so you can see the contrast with my hair. Also, it is thick enough for it not to be dangerous while you pull"
Before Severus had the time to tell her not to bother, she had already put the collar around her neck. He hadn't noticed until that moment how much her hair had a similar tone to Remus' because she was wearing a pointy hat. It was a simple black leather collar, the texture was smooth and it had a slight golden reflex to it in the edges. Came with an equally classy black leash. Even the smell was inviting, and Severus gave her an approving nod.
"I knew you'd like it" She smiled while removing it delicately. "It will look smaller on his neck, I promise, I'm not a tall person so they usually look thicker in my neck"
"Well noted... I think it will look great on him" Snape said not taking his eyes away from the collar
"Can I get you anything else? We are also on sale for lube and some things on the counter" she informed him while getting the box she mentioned from one of the heavy wooden drawers
"Actually, yes"
She was surprised and when she turned around to speak to him again, she instantly knew where he was looking. The opposite wall had all types of leather gloves and Snape had his eyes on a pair of fingerless ones that were a perfect match with the leash. It was open in the knuckles and very thin in aspect. The witch didn't ask any further, getting a second box for the item, Doms deserve some praise too. She was an advocate for that.
On his way to the hotel, Severus walked slowly through the streets observing a few people doing some late shopping and eating in restaurants. He missed Remus so much and he had seen him that morning. He'd love that place by the end of the street, Italian food was something he never said no to. Snape could only hope Remus had a good day and that he was resting already. But now the potions master could also have some peace of mind knowing he had enough wolfsbane for this full moon, and that tomorrow, he'd have enough to make Remus smile more frequently.