The Thing About Flip Flops

By yellowbility

279 0 0

Audrey Parker is a self-proclaimed flip flop. She's been metaphorically tossed into a cabinet for her whole l... More

Prologue
Chapter One: Hello Again
Chapter Two: There Are Probably Hallucinative Drugs In My Lemonade
Chapter Three: My Brother And I Have A Spontaneous Vocabulary Lesson
Chapter Four: We Risk It All For Some Taco Bell
Chapter Five: Birthday Candles Are A Fucking Fire Hazard
Chapter Six: You Sound Like A Weird Bug
Chapter Seven: Sexy Cheese Pulls and Eloquent Dogs
Chapter Eight: Shakespeare Fans Should Skip This Chapter
Chapter Nine: The Tragic Downfall of Mrs. Hinkleson
Chapter Ten: So I Guess He's Not Going To Send Me His Nudes
Chapter Eleven: Damn You And Your Stupid Pretty Face
Chapter Twelve: I Don't Know Where Your Feet Have Been
Chapter Thirteen: Mutual Free-Insult Passes
Chapter Fourteen: Shut Up And Eat Your Pasta, Dr. Fucker
Chapter Fifteen: Funding Someone's Mental Breakdown Is The Best Form Of Support
Chapter Sixteen: Has The Sauce Gotten To Your Head And Made You Delirious?
Chapter Seventeen: Your Face Looks Like A Psychopathic Blobfish
Chapter Eighteen: Kevin McCallister Is Actually Terrifying, I Said What I Said
Chapter Nineteen: Carrot Candles To Go On Top Of The Carrot Cake
Chapter Twenty: Jack Golden, Legend Among Cowboys
Chapter Twenty One: Kids, Don't Be Like Aunt Emily
Chapter Twenty Two: It's A Proposal, Can I Get A "Whoop Whoop!?"
Chapter Twenty Three: I Can't Tell If He's Telling Me Dirty Jokes
Chapter Twenty Four: I Become A Red, Blushing, Stuttering Fish
Chapter Twenty Five: My Genius Revenge Plan Ends With... Well, Read And Find Out
Chapter Twenty Six: Double Revenge... He Deserves It!
Chapter Twenty Eight: Warm Pizza and Even Warmer Cuddles
Chapter Twenty Nine: Thank God I'm A Country Boyyyyy
Chapter Thirty: Stupid Goddamn Butterflies
Chapter Thirty One: A Toast on a Boat
Chapter Thirty Two: Failed Parenting, Vasectomies and Ketchup Cake
Chapter Thirty Three: Henry's Accident
Chapter Thirty Four - Visitations
Chapter Thirty Five: The Treehouse Talk
Chapter Thirty Six: What Happens After "I Love You"?
Chapter Thirty Seven: (I Know) I'm Losing You
Chapter Thirty Eight - Corrections and Confessions
Chapter Thirty Nine: The Sex Habits of Octopi
Chapter Forty - Beautiful.
Epilogue

Chapter Twenty Seven: Spring Break

6 0 0
By yellowbility

In the movies, spring break is an entire week of going on an insanely-expensive vacation with all of your friends and getting super wasted. Spring break for our school has never been a massive deal. Most people visit family relatively nearby.

But my friends and I have a spring break tradition; it's not exactly what you see on the big screen, but it's fun. We always rent the same exact Air-B&B in the mountains. Every spring, we go up there for a getaway week.

So when Jen comes up to me a few days before spring break starts and asks if I'm down to come, I don't have to ask what he means.

"Hell yeah," I reply. "What do you want me in charge of this year?"

"You're on entertainment."

I laugh. It's kind of a running joke between us. Every year, I'm the one in charge of bringing games, movies, etc. The reason for this is my dad. Once, Jen made the mistake of asking me to bring drinks, and my dad freaked out when he thought we were going to be drinking alcohol. He almost made me stay home instead of go on the trip, and it took hours of persuasion to try and change his mind.

So since then, I've been stuck with entertainment, not that I really mind.

Suddenly I have a thought. "Wait, Jen?" She had been about to leave, but stops.

"Uh huh?"

I try to think about how to phrase my request. What's she going to say? How is she going to react? I'm nervous she'll say no. Maybe it's not a good idea after all. I mean, these trips have always been our tradition...

I lose my confidence and stammer, "Um, nothing. Just wanted you to know that this year's movies are going to be great."

Jenna snorts a laugh, shouldering her backpack. "I sure hope so. If they're the same as last year I'm going to kill you." She looks at me closer, seeming to realize I'm nervous about something.

"What is it, Aud?"

I take a deep breath to steady myself, chiding myself for thinking I could sneak anything past her. "IsitokayifIaskJacktocomewithustothemountains?"

"S'cuse me, I don't speak fuckish," she responds, clearly not hearing me properly.

"I said... is it okay if I ask Jack to come with us to the mountains?" I mumble quickly, my cheeks flushing uncomfortably. "It's completely okay if you say no, I know it's kind of our group's thing, and it might be more expensive with more food and stuff but I swear I can cover him, you'll hardly even know he's there and-"

I break off my rant when I notice Jenna laughing her ass off. "What?" I ask defensively.

"You're just..." she trails off, still wheezing. "Sure, he can come. God knows, you both need to get laid like nobody's business, it's the perfect oppor-"

"Jenna." I rub my burning hot face with my hands, trying to cover up my embarrassment. "Shut up."

"Fine," she says, still grinning, and then clarifies, "Of course he can come, he's part of the group now."

"Are you sure?" I ask, hiding my excitement.

She scoffs. "I think the real question is, are you ready for a week with Jaaaaack?" She winks suggestively.

I stare at my feet awkwardly. "Of course, why wouldn't I be? We're friends."

"Uh-huh."

"Jenna!" I complain, exasperated. "Jack and I are friends. Seriously, that's all." That's all we'll ever be.

"Audrey!" She says in the same mocking tone. "But yeah, I'm fine with him coming."

I hug her, smiling. "Thanks! So, back to the movies, I swear they'll be top notch, okay?"

As she starts to head to his class, she calls, "They'd better be. I haven't forgotten last year."

"What?" I call back, confused.

She rolls her eyes. "You forced us to sit through Star Wars, Mean Girls, and then those Harry Potter movies. All eight of them."

I scoff, and stamp my foot in agitation. "Shut up! Don't do Star Wars and Harry Potter like that. And like it or not, Mean Girls is a classic! You loved it, admit it."

"I will do no such thing!"

"But you told me after-"

"Audrey! Shut. Up."

***

We don't arrive at the house until ten at night, and since we haven't gotten off the highway for dinner or anything, we're eager to get settled so we can eat. I mean, we had snacks and stuff in the car but for six growing teenaegrs... all I can say is that Pringles go fast.

Jenna, Nat, and Melissa decide they'll go get pizza and bring it back, since the rest of us are so tired. So as they drop the other three of us off, I think I'm just going to head up to bed straight away and have someone wake me when the pizza gets here. But when I see the huge man standing just outside the door as we pull up, my heart sinks.

From lots of rentals of this exact same Air-B&B, we've all gotten to know Harvey a bit over time. I mean, don't get me wrong. He's okay, I guess. But also... kind of overbearing. And he talks a lot, and I'm really feeling like eating some pizza right now.

Harvey is skinny, middle-aged guy with greasy-looking hair and a beard more impressive than my dad's when he was in high school (if you know what I mean). He also wears these stupid sunglasses, even when he's inside, and it's hard to find him without a cigarette dangling out of his mouth sleazily.

All in all, if it weren't for the really good price and the proximity to the river, we'd probably have switched to a different rental ages ago.

He jerks his head in recognition at all three of us, even though he's never met Jack, and talks as soon as we're in earshot. "Long time, no see!" He grins at the same joke he's made every time we come here. "You're pretty damn late, though. You said, no later than eight." He points at his watch which shows the time in a glowing font: 11:04 PM.

"Traffic," I manage to get out while fighting exhaustion. Luckily, one word explains everything in this case.

"Aha! How's my pretty little Audrey doing, huh?" Harvey says when he hears me, and reaches out a pudgy hand in an attempt to ruffle my hair or something. I recoil and back away uncomfortably, accidentally stepping on Jack's sneaker.

"Sorry," I mumble quietly to Jack, but he isn't looking at me, nor does he seem to hear me. He's glaring daggers at Harvey, and for a second he looks just like the Jack Golden everyone talks about in hushed voices and behind closed doors. It's somewhat unsettling, until I nudge him lightly with my arm and his face softens as it lands on me. He shifts a bit closer to me without seeming to notice it.

"Harvey," Henry says tightly at that moment, choosing to force politeness over acting on his instinctive overprotective brother thing. "What's up?"

The older guy shrugs and hands him the keys to the house. "You all know the drill. You've got a week, don't fuck up my house too bad, all the rest of that you pretty much know."

"Anything else?" Jack asks, still gritting his teeth. "Or are we done here?"

Harvey looks him up and down, his lip curling as he takes in Jack's proximity to me.

"One minor detail, I redid the last bedroom into a man cave, it's pretty dope but now there are only three bedrooms." He leers at me, looking me up and down. "But I can help with that, Audrey can come stay at my other place whenever she-"

"We're done here." Jack snaps shortly, pulling me behind him protectively. "You can fuck off, now."

Harvey smirks at me, clearly unfazed. "I think this one wants me to stay..." He trails off, trying to look seductive but actually just looking like a pervy idiot.

"I don't," I say at the same time Jack and Henry both say, "She doesn't."

He backs away, seemingly offended. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not trying to start anything here, you're renting my house! I'm making a joke."

"Yeah, I'm laughing my ass off," Henry says stonily, clearly not laughing his ass off.

He passes me the house keys, not taking his eyes off Harvey. Then, to us, he says, "Get the bags and shit out of the car. I'm going to have a quick word with Harvey here."

"I wanna have a word with him, myself-!" I start to protest, but then I yawn and Henry pushes me behind him so I give up.

When we get out of earshot, a few meters away, Jack faces me and begins to say loudly, "That fucking douchebag-"

I roll my eyes. "Relax, Jack, he's just a creep. Ignore him."

When he still doesn't look ready to give up the conversation topic, I say quietly, "I'm tired and it's cold. Can we please just get the bags and go inside?"

His eyes soften and he frowns slightly, then unzips his jacket. In a single motion, he pulls it off and wraps it around me, squeezing my shoulders reassuringly. Instantly, heat floods my body from the toes to the top of my head, and not just from the added warmth of the jacket.

"You don't have to..." I start to say, cutting off my sentence short before he catches me blushing furiously.

Curse these pale, easily blushing cheeks!

Jack just smiles warmly at me, revealing his dimples, and unlocks the door effortlessly, flicking on the light switch to illuminate a hallway with a lot of rooms branching off.

I make my way to the first room on the left, where I've slept every time we come here. I wonder if it'll look the same, or if it's the one Harvey turned into a "man cave" or whatever.

Sure enough, a click of the lamp shows the same white bedspread, the painting of a beach hanging on the wall across from it, and one wide wooden bookshelf opposite a large window.

With the tasteful plants on the windowsill and the added touch of bath soaps and shampoos in the bathroom, you'd never guess who this place actually belongs to. Harvey may be a sleazy dickwad, but he definitely knows how to keep a nice house.

I yawn and toss myself onto the bed, face first, not caring that I'm still in my clothes. I'm so tired. I hear Jack chuckle behind me, and I peek at him over my shoulder so that my neck contracts in a weird way.

He looks at me with half amusement, half something else in his eyes. "Want me to get the light?"

I nod, but as he reaches the for the lamp, attempting to turn it off so I can sleep, but before he can I remember something. "Shit," I moan in exasperation. Jack's eyebrows shoot up in confusion.

"The stupid bags," I complain, starting to sit up, but he shakes his head with a chuckle.

"I'll get the bags A. You get some rest, okay?"

I lock eyes with him for a few seconds, but eventually I give in to my weariness and nod, flopping back into the cushions.

"Goodnight, Jack."

"Night, A," he says quietly.

The last thing I see before he flicks off the lamp and I fall asleep is his soft smile, that he reserves for only the people he cares about. I've only seen him give this one to his parents, and his little brother. And now...me. I don't know what I've done to deserve that smile, but I replay it in my head over and over until I lose consciousness.

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