The Thing About Flip Flops

By yellowbility

279 0 0

Audrey Parker is a self-proclaimed flip flop. She's been metaphorically tossed into a cabinet for her whole l... More

Prologue
Chapter One: Hello Again
Chapter Two: There Are Probably Hallucinative Drugs In My Lemonade
Chapter Three: My Brother And I Have A Spontaneous Vocabulary Lesson
Chapter Four: We Risk It All For Some Taco Bell
Chapter Five: Birthday Candles Are A Fucking Fire Hazard
Chapter Six: You Sound Like A Weird Bug
Chapter Seven: Sexy Cheese Pulls and Eloquent Dogs
Chapter Eight: Shakespeare Fans Should Skip This Chapter
Chapter Nine: The Tragic Downfall of Mrs. Hinkleson
Chapter Ten: So I Guess He's Not Going To Send Me His Nudes
Chapter Eleven: Damn You And Your Stupid Pretty Face
Chapter Twelve: I Don't Know Where Your Feet Have Been
Chapter Thirteen: Mutual Free-Insult Passes
Chapter Fifteen: Funding Someone's Mental Breakdown Is The Best Form Of Support
Chapter Sixteen: Has The Sauce Gotten To Your Head And Made You Delirious?
Chapter Seventeen: Your Face Looks Like A Psychopathic Blobfish
Chapter Eighteen: Kevin McCallister Is Actually Terrifying, I Said What I Said
Chapter Nineteen: Carrot Candles To Go On Top Of The Carrot Cake
Chapter Twenty: Jack Golden, Legend Among Cowboys
Chapter Twenty One: Kids, Don't Be Like Aunt Emily
Chapter Twenty Two: It's A Proposal, Can I Get A "Whoop Whoop!?"
Chapter Twenty Three: I Can't Tell If He's Telling Me Dirty Jokes
Chapter Twenty Four: I Become A Red, Blushing, Stuttering Fish
Chapter Twenty Five: My Genius Revenge Plan Ends With... Well, Read And Find Out
Chapter Twenty Six: Double Revenge... He Deserves It!
Chapter Twenty Seven: Spring Break
Chapter Twenty Eight: Warm Pizza and Even Warmer Cuddles
Chapter Twenty Nine: Thank God I'm A Country Boyyyyy
Chapter Thirty: Stupid Goddamn Butterflies
Chapter Thirty One: A Toast on a Boat
Chapter Thirty Two: Failed Parenting, Vasectomies and Ketchup Cake
Chapter Thirty Three: Henry's Accident
Chapter Thirty Four - Visitations
Chapter Thirty Five: The Treehouse Talk
Chapter Thirty Six: What Happens After "I Love You"?
Chapter Thirty Seven: (I Know) I'm Losing You
Chapter Thirty Eight - Corrections and Confessions
Chapter Thirty Nine: The Sex Habits of Octopi
Chapter Forty - Beautiful.
Epilogue

Chapter Fourteen: Shut Up And Eat Your Pasta, Dr. Fucker

5 0 0
By yellowbility

It's lunchtime, and I'm sitting beside Henry with Jenna, Chris, and Natalia opposite us, when Jack comes up to our table and pulls a seat up beside me so that I'm squashed up between him and my brother.

Henry keeps going on and on about how Melissa is coming this Wednesday (it's Monday), and I have to say, I'm excited as well.

Before she moved away, Melissa was quite close to all of us. Especially Henry, obviously, but I still consider her one of my closest friends (and probably my future sister-in-law). It was hard for all of us when she left. It'll be great to have her here.

More than that though, I'm glad Henry is going to have her back, even if it's only for a couple of days. Even though he's awesome without her, Melissa makes his happiness go the extra mile. She's that little boost he sort of needs sometimes. It's really sweet.

Jack nudges me with his shoulder. "Hey. You busy this weekend?"

I nod, glancing at Chris. He grins and looks away quickly. "Yeah, actually. Why, did you want to hang out?"

He rolls his eyes. "Don't flatter yourself."

But that's not a no...

I take a sip from my Dr. Pepper, polishing it off, and flick the side of the can. There's a sharp tinging noise. Henry glances at my soda.

"You spend more time with your Dr. Pepper than you spend with me. It violates the code of twinship."

I snort and he grins. "I'm serious, Aud. I bet you do actually have plans this weekend, plans involving Dr. Pepper." Henry winks, pointedly looking at Chris.

Chris buts into our conversation. He looks slightly annoyed. "I mean..." he says, getting our attention. "If Dr. Pepper is your nickname for me..." He shrugs, a smirk growing on his face.

"Shut up and eat your pasta, Dr. Fucker," Jack tells him with a forced grin. For some reason, I feel like Jack isn't a huge fan of Chris. And vise versa. Interesting...

"Seriously? Wow, no reason to be a dick," Chris snaps back. Okay, hold up. What is happening here?

"I'm not being a dick. Just innocently pursuing my lifelong ambition of abolishing food waste."

I turn to him. "Hey Jack, just out of curiosity, what drugs are you on?" I ask casually, causing him to chuckle.

"We actually do have plans this weekend. Sorry, Jack," Chris cuts in, still looking annoyed. He says it almost like he's gloating.

I choose to ignore it and turn to face Henry, who's moved on to entertaining Jenna and Nat with stories about his girlfriend.

When he says that word in particular, "girlfriend", I notice Jenna glance very quickly at Natalia. My heart pangs for my friend. They have to get together soon or so help me I will make them.

I move to pick up my cookie before realizing it's gone.

I turn immediately to Jack, knowing exactly who did it the second I see that it's missing.

Sure enough, my least favorite friend is chewing with crumbs dusting his mouth. He's got around half the cookie in his hand. He winks at me.

I make a snarky face at him and grab the other half of the cookie, stuffing it into my mouth.

"You're gonna pay."

Except when I say it, my mouth is full of chocolate, so it sounds really jumbled and weird.

Jack raises an eyebrow at me. A smile flirts on his pink lips. "Could you please repeat that? I didn't hear."

"I said," I enunciate, swallowing, "You, Jack Golden, are going to fucking pay."

"Sure." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a nickel. "Here you go."

I reach into my own pocket sarcastically and pull out my hand again, now flipping him the middle finger.

He swats my hand away.

I notice Chris is glaring at Jack. I think Jack notices it too.

Jack grins. "Sorry, Christopher."

He doesn't sound very sorry.

***

I meet up with Natalia after school to drive home. I've been waiting beside her car for around five minutes when she comes up to me, looking frazzled.

"Audrey! I'm so sorry but I have an extra singing lesson rehearsal thingy today and I had no idea until like an hour ago but my instructor says I have to be there or else I can't do the show, so-"

"Whoa. Slow down!" I laugh. "So you can't drive today?"

She nods apologetically. "I'm so sorry, Audrey, but I have to-"

I shut her off. "No, no, it's completely fine. Go! Chase your dreams!"

She smiles thankfully. "Okay. But how will you get home?"

"I'll walk or something. It's not that far. Don't worry about me."

She still looks nervous, but I hug her and tell her to get going since she can't be late to something that is so important to her.

A few minutes later, I'm beginning the walk to my house.

Right on cue, a drop of rain hits my shoulder. Then another hits my arm. My face. My other arm. Soon, it's pouring.

"Fuck," I mutter.

I take shelter under a store's balcony, hoping the rain will subside quickly.

I get my phone out, careful to make sure it doesn't get wet, and am about to call an Uber or something when a car beeps loudly in front of me.

I try to see who is in the driver's seat but it's on the other side of the road. The window rolls down just enough for me to hear someone say, "Get in, Audrey!"

Pros: they know my name, so they might not be a serial killer. Also, they seem friendly.

Cons: they know my name, which could be potentially problematic if they are, in fact, a serial killer. Also, they're driving a black car and you can't trust people who have black cars because they could be kidnappers. At least, that's what the nice man with the candy in the white van told me.

I decide to risk it.

I dash through the rain, covering my head with my backpack. My feet splash muddy puddles on the gravel. I throw the car door open and jump inside.

I'm probably leaving puddles of rainwater on the leather seats, but I couldn't care less right now. I just want to go home.

"You okay?" The person says from beside me, and I turn to see none other than Chris looking back at me.

"Wait..." I say, confused. "This isn't your car."

He shrugs. "My parents have a couple other ones."

Damn. A couple BMWs. They must be really rich.

"Sorry for ruining the seats," I say awkwardly.

He shrugs. "This is an old one. They won't care."

"Oh."

Chris drives along the familiar road to my house, which is about ten minutes in a car and half an hour to walk.

The awkward silence continues until we pull up at my driveway. He doesn't even put on music.

"Thanks so much." I get out of the car and notice that the rain has subsided to a light drizzle.

"It's alright. Next time, bring an umbrella." Chris smiles kindly. "See you tomorrow, Audrey."

"See you." I wave as he drives off, splashing through a puddle that crashes into my legs, wetting my knees down. "Ah, great."

I run to my front door, the one thing keeping me going being the prospect of taking a nice, hot shower.

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