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Let me know when i'm needed home
And I'll come
You can leather me with your lips
I've gotta give it to you
You give me problems
When you are not in the mood
I've gotta give it to you
You give me problems
And made me give in to you
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Harry Styles
I hated seeing her so distraught, especially when she's usually such an upbeat person. I keep trying to think of what triggered her panic attack but I'm not sure, I don't know what goes on in that pretty head of hers.
It's currently 11.30 and she's been asleep for about an hour, she also stopped shivering which is good. Harlow looks so peaceful right now, she's a pretty sleeper and I could definitely get used to waking up to her every morning.
She said not to let her sleep later than 12 because she had to pick up flowers from that little flower shop, but what if I picked them up for her? I mean she looks like she's far too deep into her sleep to be woken up, so I could just leave her sleeping and get something to eat for her and pick her flowers up. That would be nice, right?
I'm so bad at this.
When I shuffle out from underneath her thankfully she doesn't waken, and when I get changed she's still sleeping so blissfully. I hope that she doesn't wake up while I'm gonna and think I've left her, because I told her I wouldn't leave and when I said I meant everything I said, I meant it.
Fingers crossed she stays asleep until I get back. I really am trying with her.
June's flower shop...I know where that is, next to the coffee shop. I can kill two birds with one stone, great.
Shit, I don't even have my car.
I can drive hers right? I mean it's not been used since I had to clean a dead bird out of it so I can just tell her I'm breaking it in for her. Can't say I've ever pictured myself driving a little green car that smells like flowers through the city, but here I am.
Coincidentally, the first song to play is 'it's not living if it's not with you', one of many songs that will remind me of her from now on. I really enjoyed that little dance with her, spinning her around so she'd have a smile on her face and fall back into me. She's turning me soft and it's the exact opposite of what I expected.
If any of the boys caught me doing this I don't think they'd ever let me live it down, especially since they know me for never wanting to settle down with a girl. Harlow really is like a drug though, she's making do crazy things like drive through the city in her little green car to pick up flowers.
Masculinity at its greatest.
I actually read that women prefer guys who aren't scared of not being manly so maybe the fact I'm doing this will make her like me a little more, because whatever I feel towards her I'm praying she feels it back. She's the only woman to make me feel like this and it would be awful if this is just a one way relationship.
Relationship, can I even call it that?
If only how much I knew this fake relationship was gonna fuck with my head.
This flower shop really does have Harlow's name written all over it. If I didn't know she ran the club I'd have thought this was her shop, the ideal place for a plant obsessed hippy like her. I could definitely see her as a florist.
In the corner is an older woman wearing an apron and I don't think she heard me coming in. The last thing I want is to be responsible for another person's death so I very loudly clear my throat and thankfully she turns around to greet me.
"Hello, can I help you?" She says, smiling at me as she takes those typical gardeners gloves off her hands.
I can see why she likes this place, I bet Harlow stays here talking to this woman for way longer than she's supposed to.
"I'm here on someone's behalf, she said she had to pick up flowers today." I answer back politely. "Harlow Dean."
When I say her name, the lady's face forms into an immediate smile which I totally understand, she has that effect on people.
"I've got roses for her today, last of the sunflowers went to her mother." June smiles, placing this bouquet of different coloured roses mixed in with some green stuff. I don't know, can't say I know the difference between different types of plants but I'm sure Harlow will like them.
"So, Harlow and you are..." she trails off, waiting for me to finish her sentence for her.
I don't know what Harlow and I are, I wish I did but I have no clue. Am I supposed to keep the act up with the lady from the flower shop or can I be honest? I doubt this woman would go running to The Vultures.
"I don't know," I sigh, running a hand through my hair.
"Well Harlow is my favourite customer, she's such a sweetheart so don't you go breaking her heart. She's had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime." She warns,pointing a finger at me.
Of course Harlow's friends with her local florist, who also happens to be about three times her age, of course she is.
That's the thing, I'm petrified of breaking her heart because I've never had a girlfriend and I don't know how that type of thing even works. I never even grew up watching two people in love either, all kg ideas of love come from films and they're not realistic are they?
I've never liked the idea of having a girlfriend but now I'm faking it with Harlow and I'm starting to realise that maybe it's not that bad.
"What's your name?" She asks.
"Harry..."
"Well Harry, I don't know you but I know Harlow and she could really use somebody like you. She's got the people at her club but I think she needs somebody who's there for her out with the club. Just be careful with her, sometimes the happiest people are hurting the most."
The happiest people definitely are hurting the most.
Now that I'm thinking back to the conversation that brought me to her, the conversation I also wish I never had, I'm starting to paint a little picture in my head of what's going on behind her pretty smile.
"Yeah, I know that." I sigh.
Adriana, Harlows mother, Harlow... the list goes on.
After that there wasn't much conversation and now I'm driving with a bunch of roses through the drive through to get something for her to eat. Two black coffees and two vegan bagels are now sat on the passenger seat as I'm making my way back to hers in the hopes she's still asleep.
I really do hope she hasn't woken up. She seemed so open and vulnerable this morning so when I told her I wasn't going anywhere I meant it, if she wakes up and sees I'm not there she'll just think I'm a liar.
A liar who stole her car.
I hate how embarrassing she was once she calmed down, she never said it out loud but I could tell that she was. That was for no good reason though, I don't see her as any less of a person. I see her as human, we're not all perfect.
Harlow does come pretty close though.
Now that I'm parking outside her house, I'm starting to realise that I probably should've said something before taking it. At least it's back in one piece, and dead bird free.
Probably should've locked her door too.
Balancing two coffees and two food bags in one hand, and her flowers in the other, I make my way inside to the relieving sight of no Harlow in the living room or kitchen. That's actually really impressive on my behalf, if I do say so myself.
Shit, why is there music coming from upstairs?
Fucked it.
I don't think I've climbed a set of stairs faster in my life, whilst holding two coffees and bagels because I didn't think to put them down like I did with her flowers. The second I heard music my stomach dropped so I didn't really have time to think things through.
Rightly enough, she's sat fully dressed in some jeans and a band T-shirt, running a hairbrush through her hair looking all sorry for herself.
Nice one Harry.
She does see me in the mirror, however it's almost as if I wasn't even standing there. She went straight back to brushing her hair whilst guilt swung at me like a wrecking ball.
I thought it was a good idea.
I'm such a bad fake boyfriend.
"Hey birdy," I say quietly, placing the two coffees and bagels down on her drawers before slowly approaching her.
I sit myself down next to her with my knees up just like her and I gently nudge my shoulder off hers in the hopes to provoke a smile. Thankfully her lips do form into a little smile and that's all I need.
"I thought you left," She tells me with a hint of sadness coating her words.
She's sad I wasn't here when she woke up?
"I did." Harlow turns to face me with that confused look on her face which makes me laugh a little. "I went to get your flowers and I got you a coffee and bagel."
I don't know what I was expecting, but I didn't expect her to smile at me so gratefully. Especially not after practically ignoring my existence when I first walked in but I'm glad she's smiling. I'm always glad she's smiling.
I'm actually going soft, somethings wrong with me.
"Why did you do that? You don't even have your car?" She asks me, looking up at me through her piercing blue eyes laced with concern.
She talks so delicately, even when she's just woken up her voice is still as delicate as her, only with a little more raspiness. Her words are never too bitter, they never feel like bullets firing at me. Instead they feel like heaven, like somebody I'd pay food money to sing me off to sleep instead of Fleetwood Mac.
I bet she has such a beautiful singing voice, I can tell by the way she talks. When she speaks French it's almost like a song and it's mesmerising but I doubt she'd ever sing for me. I'd love her to though, maybe one day she'll sing for me and maybe one day I'll successfully play piano.
"I took your car, sorry." I shyly admit.
Her eyes widened at my words, followed by a little chuckle of her own which gave me butterflies. The one on my stomach will be flying away at this rate.
Just as Harlow is about to say something, fill my ears with that sweet voice of hers again, my phone starts ringing. It's none other than the name Liam Payne lighting up the screen which only meant trouble. He knew I was staying here last night and he went home to Josie, he couldn't call me unless it was trouble.
With a quick 'sorry' to Harlow, I jump up to stand just outside her bedroom on the phone to Liam. Unluckily for him I'm in a shit mood now because for once, I felt like I wasn't part of this gang. Nothing lasts forever I guess.
"What?" I answer a little more sternly than expected.
"Few Vultures have shown up, Niall and Zayn can't get a hold of anyone else to assist them." Liam sounds like he was nervous to talk to me, and he should be. I was having a good morning until now.
"I'm busy," I firmly state.
"Harr-"
"I said I'm fucking busy." I snap back frustratedly. "Look, they're gonna have to figure out to do shit on their own. I'm sick of getting phone calls the second something doesn't go to plan."
It wouldn't be half as bad if it was only happening once every couple of weeks, but this is happening on a weekly basis. If we want to win the ending fight against the Vultures then they're gonna have to learn to use their initiative because I can't always help them.
When the big fight does come, I'll be busy making sure Harlows safe because she'll be their biggest target. I can't be there for these guys to run to when they're scared because then we'll all go down.
"I know mate but they-"
"Why don't you go?! If you're so concerned?" I argue back.
"Because you know just as well as I do that you're the only one people are scared of."
I hate that he's right.
"Fuck sake." I groan, "well you're gonna have to pick me up, my cars still at the club. I'll text you the address.
"Harlows?" I can just picture the smug little grin on his face right now.
"Twat." I respond, ending the phone call immediately.
I do love my job sometimes, just not when it includes looking after people who don't use their brains.
Harlows looking at me with a sympathetic smile when I walked back into her bedroom. I didn't realise how loud I was being until now that she's obviously heard and looks as if she feels sorry for me.
"Gotta go birdy." I sigh, disappointed with the fact I don't get to look at her all afternoon like I did yesterday. "I'm sorry."
Harlow shakes her head with a little grin before standing up and walking over. "It's okay, I actually have to work today." She chuckles, standing just in front of me with that happy smile making me absolutely gutted about having to leave.
She was having a panic attack a few hours ago but I guess she slept it and the hangover off. She'll be fine, right?
Caring about people is so stressful.
"You have flowers downstairs, eat your bagel, drink your coffee, I'm taking mine with me and I'll see you tonight." I smile back, grabbing my coffee and bagel.
However just as I'm about to head out her bedroom door, run downstairs and then out her front door into Liam's car like some scene out of mission impossible, all thoughts are washed from my brain when Harlow's lips place the most delicate kiss on my cheeks.
Why did she do that?
"Why did you do that?" I ask her, staring down at her blushing cheeks and innocent smile.
"Have you never been kissed on the cheek before Styles?" Teases Harlow, smirking slightly.
Jesus birdy, you are playing one dangerous game looking at me like that when I have to leave.
She's really not the innocent creature everyone paints her as, I'd love to learn more about that.
"No actually, I've never had a girlfriend birdy, remember?" I admit, unsure of whether that's bad or good considering I'm a fully grown man approaching his late twenties and I'm hyperventilating over a girl kissing my cheek.
You'd think I was a virgin, however I'm quite the opposite, I stopped counting when my body count hit 400 just 2 years ago. It was a very stupid, toxic coping mechanism of mine and now that I don't have sex as much I'm realising that it was pretty shitty.
Not once in my life have I ever stopped to properly admire somebody yet here I am, unable to think about anyone other than the modern day hippy I'm faking a relationship with and freaking out over her kissing me on the cheek.
"Well now you have. See you tonight Harry." Harlow innocently smirks.
And that you will birdy, that you will.
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