29. Daurien's Love
When it was time to part ways for the night, I looked forward to it. I had exalted most of my energy worrying all day and I needed the rest. I went straight for my bed, stripped down and collapsed into a deep slumber.
Those nights where Belle needed me had become every night. It was almost a sort of routine even. I didn't always have a nightmare myself but it was nightmare enough to wake up to Belle's screaming. Not that I minded coming to her. Not that I minded holding her. And when the screams of terror were exchanged for the screaming of my name and I came flying into her room where she was waiting for me, expecting me to take her in my arms and comfort her, well I can't say I minded that all too much either.
This night was no different. After a whole day of avoiding my past and then a nerve wracking evening of confronting it, it was no surprise that my sleep was a dreamless one. It was of the immobile corpse variety of sleep really. In my experience, dreams were for the troubled. Even non-nightmarish perfectly harmless dreams came from a need to sort out the the events of the day. I went to sleep that night exhausted, but content. My past had yet to scare away my present. So maybe, just maybe I still had a chance at a future.
It was pitch black when I shot up in my bed to the sound of my name echoing through the halls. It seemed it was a moonless night. I grappled around my nightstand for the candle I always left there. I found the matches beside it, lit one and then lit the candle.
Within moments I was at her door. Belle's door. I didn't hesitate this time, it had become habit. I burst into the room and set the candle down. She was waiting for me as usual, with relief written on all of her tensed features. She threw herself into my arms before I could even reach the bed. I barely caught her.
"Daurien,"she was sobbing as she nuzzled her face into the fur on my neck, "Why won't it stop?"
"Why won't what stop?" I asked as I tried to soothe her by gently stroking her hair.
"The d-d-dreams," her whole body shuddered, "I am not afraid of you, I am not! You make me feel safe. Why do I get these nightmares?" I gave a few more strokes before I helped her to the bed. I followed her to the head of the bed and tucked her beneath the covers gently, careful not to catch the bedsheets on my claws.
"Daurien,"she pleaded, "I'm so sick of it."
"I know," I said lamely.
"Please don't go," her eyes brimmed with unshed tears, "I don't want to be alone."
"You want me to stay with you?"
"Please,"she begged.
"Are you sure that is a good idea?"
"I'm not afraid of you. I don't know why, I can't explain it, but you make it better." She let out a long shuddery breath.
"Very well." I lay beside her awkwardly, not knowing how to rest my head or where to put my arm. I sucked in a sharp breath when she suddenly scooted closer to me and snuggled into my side. How very little she was wearing. I was hyper aware yet again at how inappropriate this situation was. And yet, I couldn't help but further it another step. I lifted my hand to her lovely auburn hair and resumed my stroking of it.
She sunk her fingers into the fur on my chest and clung to me fiercely. I was startled both at the action and at the strange yet somehow notso foreign tug at my heart. A quick glance at where her thin fingersshould have been gripping my fur only startled me further.
Her fingers were not wrapped in my fur, but curled tightly in a thin mass of blonde chest hair that was protruding from my bare chest. My bare chest. I may have felt sleep deprived just moments ago, but currently my eyes were likely wider than they had ever been in my entire life. And I've had a slightly longer life than most.
Where her childlike hands came in contact with me, there was skin. Not fur, not beast, not monster. Skin. I stared at the contours of my chest, which I had not seen in centuries, in bewilderment. What was this magic that tore through the curse bestowed upon me?
It was at that moment that I understood. I loved her. Belle. The sweetest name I had ever known. Belle. Beautiful, caring, understanding, kind, and forgiving Belle. The new center of my life,whether I could ever have her the way I wanted to.
I knew that I never wanted to see her this way again, but if I had to I would have no qualms with holding her every night she needed to beheld. Every night she needed me. I knew that as long as she would let me, I would be her protector. As long as she needed me, as long as she wanted me, I would be there for her.
Even if she could never love me back, I would love her forever.