I knew Perrie couldn't have been up long when I woke and she wasn't there, because the bed was still slightly warm. I hurried out of bed and checked her room, running downstairs when I found it empty.
She was stood looing out of the kitchen window, smoking.
"Pez?"
She turned around and smiled. "Hey. D'you want tea?"
I nodded. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted a cuppa." She glanced at the cigarette between her fingers and held it under the tap, putting it out. "Not had one of those in ages, I was doing really well."
"I'm sorry." I murmured.
"Why?"
I shrugged. "I just am."
Perrie frowned at me. "Tea or coffee?"
"Tea, please... are you sure you're alright?"
Perrie gestured for me to go to her, so I did. She placed her hands on my waist, still frowning. "I thought we were done, I thought we said last night we were okay."
"We are."
"So why do you look so sad?"
"Because I'm worried about you. I don't think you're really okay with me yet."
Perrie sighed heavily. "You worry too much." She said, grabbing the back of my neck and crashing our lips together, pressing her body against mine.
Every time I pulled away for air, Perrie barely gave me a second before her lips were on mine again, her tongue sliding in and out of my mouth. At first, I wanted to ask her what she was doing, if she was sure... but when she kissed me like that I couldn't think, I couldn't string a single thought together.
Perrie pushed me against the fridge and slipped her hand down the front of my boxers.
"Babe... d'you-"
"I want you." Perrie said huskily.
Well, I'd have to be insane to argue with that.
I hastily grabbed the bottom of her vest and dragged it up over her head, dropping it to the floor. Perrie pulled my mouth back against her and slid her hands back into my boxers, this time moving them behind and gripping my backside.
I moved my hand in between her legs, and she thrust her hips forward eagerly, breaking away from my lips and latching onto my neck, a low moan escaping her as my fingers entered her.
"Don't stop." She moaned as my hand left her shorts. I turned her around, making her gasp as her bare back hit the fridge door.
"Get these off." I whispered, tugging at her shorts.
Perrie impatiently wriggled out of them as I eagerly pulled down my boxers, and she continued her kissing assault on my neck.
As soon as the last of her clothes were off, I crouched slightly, wrapping my arms around Perrie's thighs, and lifting her up.
"Shit! Jakob!"
"It's okay. Put your legs around me."
Perrie instantly did so, her hands clutching my neck. I closed my mouth over her left breast, and she swore again.
"Babe, please..."
Keeping one hand around her back, my erected member rested between her legs, spurred on by the way she pushed her hips out, moaning loudly when I entered her.
"Don't stop."
I shook my head. Perrie grabbed my jaw and lifted my head. "Kiss me."
I readily obliged, our tongues sliding together easily. She tasted like smoke, and I liked it though I wouldn't have expected to. Perrie continued to moan repeatedly into my mouth as I moved in and out of her, eventually throwing her head back, panting.
"I'm close."
I slowly licked the skin between her breasts up to her neck, sucking the skin into my mouth and biting gently until Perrie cried out, her body shaking and her legs going limp around me. Her body became slightly heavier in my arms as she wilted, and I simply rested my head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat slow down again, that and her heavy breathing the only sounds, just waiting for her to come back to earth.
"You can put me down now babe."
"Sorry." I said, setting Perrie back on her feet. She kept one arm around my neck, smiling.
"It's alright... you're stronger than you look."
"You're small, I'm hardly lifting Ricky Hatton, am I?"
"Shut up." Perrie giggled. "That was amazing." She added in a whisper, kissing me softly.
"Yeah."
"Can we go to Margate?"
"Pardon?"
"Margate. Can we go? Today? We can drive there. It won't take long. It's still early. Can we?"
"Where's Margate?"
"You've never been?"
"No."
"No way! It's a beach place... thing. Like, Brighton or Southend. But Margate, obviously."
"And you want to go today?"
"Yeah, why not? It's a lovely day."
I didn't answer straight away, but Perrie just laughed and took my hand. "Come on, let's go and have a shower... I wanna say thank you properly for that incredible orgasm I just had..."
The look in her eyes and the way she was biting her lip as she backed out of the room, pulling me with her, brought a smile to my face.
"Okay, what the hell, let's go to Margate, we'll go to bloody Saudi Arabia if you want to."
"Really? Can we go?"
"Yes, if you want to. Show me the magic of Margate."
"You'll love it." Perrie grinned. "We'll have candy floss by the sea and feed the seagulls chips!"
"Great! Sounds like I'm spending the day with a child!" I teased.
"Shut up you... now, I believe I owe you an orgasm."
"I believe you do..."
**
Margate was quite a run-down place. Perrie insisted it used to be better a few years ago. But I didn't care. When we got there Perrie insisted on buying an enormous sunhat and a lollipop, walking around licking it while we took in the atmosphere around the beach. By the time we stopped at a burger van Perrie was complaining she felt sick and forlornly threw her half-eaten lollipop in the bin.
We walked the length of the beach with a bag of chips as the sun began to set. Families were packing up and leaving, having to wrestle small children away from unfinished sandcastles.
"Can we stay till it goes dark?"
"Yeah, of course. We've got nothing to rush back for have we?"
"Nope."
Perrie eventually stopped walking, looking around. "It's nice and quiet here, let's sit down."
"We can't sit down here, the tide is gonna be coming soon!"
"So, we'll leave when it does! The path's only up there, it's alright." She giggled, pulling me down as she sat on the sand.
"It's a lot nicer than I thought actually."
"Aye I know... I wish I had my own beach."
"That might be the most diva-ish thing I've ever heard you say." I laughed.
"It'd be nice though! Sunsets look best on the beach as well."
"That's true." I agreed, leaning back on my elbows, and stretching my legs out.
"Aah babe, you're looking a bit red."
"Oh... It's okay, you must have some aftersun in your house, right?"
"Erm... maybe..."
"Typical." I tutted. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."
Perrie laid back as I was and took my hand. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah?" I said apprehensively.
"Have you ever smoked?"
"Eh?" I frowned, turning to face her. I had been expecting a deeper question.
"I'm just wondering... I wondered this morning, but we got distracted." She winked, making my cheeks redden even more. "I wanna know loads of really random, pointless crap about you."
"Why if it's random and pointless?"
"I just do... I wanna know everything, even if it means nothing. Is that weird?"
"Yeah a bit, but... no because I kind of know most things about you. Random things."
"Yeah? Like what?"
"Like... You was named after Perry from Journey. I know you hated dancing when Little Mix first started out and you were ready to quit because of it. I know that you don't have a sense of smell."
"Yeah, things like that! So go on, have you ever been a smoker?"
"No. I've had one or two on nights out, for no apparent reason... like social smoking. But I've never bought any."
"What's your favourite colour?"
"It depends."
"On what?"
"What it's on."
"I don't understand." Perrie giggled.
"Okay... if I were buying technology, I'd want it in white. I'm not fussed when it comes to clothes, but I look better in red or black... I think."
"Or nothing."
"Perrie!" I laughed loudly, lying down on the sand.
Perrie rolled over slightly, looking down at me with her hand supporting her head. "I get it now. So, if you were buying trainers..."
"Black, black trainers go with anything."
"What's your favourite... animal?"
"You." I said, and Perrie fell back beside me in a fit of laughter.
"Seriously!" She said, sitting back up in the same way.
"I dunno, that's hard. I guess yours is dogs."
"Yeah, but if it was possible, I'd want a baby elephant."
"Are you serious?"
"Oh my god, yes! They're adorable. Come on, what's yours?"
"If we're going for animals like that, polar bears." I laughed. "They're the cutest. Bears in general."
"Aaawh, I should have guessed... What would you call him if you had one?"
"I don't know."
"Awh come on... I'd call my elephant Margaret."
"Margaret?!"
"Yeah!"
"You're mental."
"Teddy, that's a good name for a polar bear. Or Todd. Or Tedward!" She thought out loud.
I was in hysterics. I heard Perrie huff, but I couldn't stop laughing. I shouted out as she started tickling me.
"Think it's funny, do you?"
"Stop, stop-"
"Not so funny now is it?! Keep laughing at me now!"
"Alright, alright you win! I'm sorry!" I shouted breathlessly. Perrie sat up, releasing a satisfied smirk on her face. I sat up quickly and pushed her down, quickly grabbing her hands and holding them above her head with one hand.
"No, no please..." She begged, already giggling, squirming underneath me. Her laughter faded as she caught my eye. "What's up? You gonna kiss me?"
"I'm thinking about it."
"Go on then."
"Someone might see."
"Who? The birds? There's nobody here Bear."
I quickly glanced around us, realised she was right. The closest people to us were mere specks in the distance, right across the beach.
"What's that look all about?" Perrie whispered, our eyes locked together intensely.
"You're so beautiful, Perrie."
She laughed quietly. Like music. "And you're so handsome. I thought I was getting a kiss?"
I leaned closer, so close I could see my own reflection in the pools of her eyes.
"I love you so, so much you know. So much. It freaks me out."
"I love you too... why does it freak you out?"
"Because... I... just because-"
"It's okay, you can tell me. Tell me why."
"Because I'm feeling things... I didn't know existed, and I didn't know I could feel this way about another person. In such a short space of time. Yeah, it frightens me."
"Me too." Perrie whispered. "But these feelings, are they good?"
"Of course."
"So don't be scared of them. Try not to be scared of them."
"I am trying."
"I'm not all that scary, am I?"
"I dunno... sometimes." I grinned. Perrie pouted.
"I thought I was getting a kiss, not getting picked on."
"Are you sure nobody's around?"
"If there was a fleet of people behind you right now, I wouldn't tell you." Perrie smiled, pushing herself up and closing the space between us. I let her part my lips and slip her tongue in, enjoying the way she tasted of salt, and how a little bit of the raspberry from the lollipop still lingered in her mouth.
"You taste like candy floss." She murmured, laying back with her eyes still closed.
"Don't know how, you ate most of it."
"Shush... I was hungry."
"D'you want to be heading back? You look tired."
"Not yet, the suns not gone down yet."
"Okay... hang on."
I rolled off Perrie and laid on my front, facing the sea. The sun burnt low in the sky and bounced off the ocean, making me squint, but I kept looking. Perrie rolled onto her front too and I reached for her hand.
"We should do this more often." I said.
"Aye... hey maybe after tour... we can go on holiday for a bit. Then we can do this every night."
"Hmm." I agreed.
"You wouldn't think it'd look so beautiful here... it's only Margate." Perrie giggled.
"You're more beautiful."
Perrie tore her eyes away from the sunset to stare at me. "You think I'm more beautiful than the sunset?"
"Any day, anywhere in the world, completely."
Perrie moved closer to me and laid her head against mine. "You really think so?"
"Yes, I do. You're the most beautiful thing in the world to me. And that's how I'm sure I mean it when I promise you, I'll never hurt you. I'd have to be a total wazzock to risk losing someone more beautiful than the sunset, wouldn't I?"
Perrie didn't answer, but I didn't expect her to. I know if she would have said something along those lines to me, I would've burst into flames with embarrassment. She just held my hand that bit tighter.
"Jakob?"
"Yeah?"
"What the fucking hell is a wazzock?"
**
As soon as we got back to Perrie's a couple of hours later, her phone began to ring.
"Sorry babe... have a look what you want to order on Just Eat." She said as she trudged out of the room.
"Brew?"
"Please!"
Perrie came back into the kitchen a few minutes later and got me the milk, chewing her lip.
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah... Jesy wants to pop round with the tour costume file. I'm the only one who hasn't gone through it yet. Is that okay?"
"Course it is, is she staying for something to eat?"
"No probably not... I haven't told her you're here."
I quickly remembered how Jade had delivered the news to Perrie that I had apparently been at it behind her back. And obviously Jesy and Leigh would have eventually found out too.
"Ah. I see."
"Sorry... I should've said over the phone-"
"It's alright." I smiled, taking the milk off her and sliding my arm around her waist. "She can see herself we're alright now, can't she?"
"You're not mad?"
"No, why would I be mad? You gonna put that takeaway order in or what?"
"Okay... you gonna pick a film?"
"Will do."
"Not a scary one."
"No scary ones I promise."
Jesy arrived about twenty minutes later, after Perrie and I had decided to change for bed and get comfy on the sofa watching Bridesmaids. I paused the film as she went to answer the door and stood up, preparing myself. I wasn't expecting Jesy to be happy to see me.
I was right. She came into the living room chattering, Perrie following her, with an armful of thick folders and stopped when she saw me.
"Oh." She dropped the folders on the coffee table and folded her arms. "What are you doing here?"
"Jes, he-"
"He what? Has a perfectly good explanation? He's gonna have to."
"He does!" Perrie began, but I interrupted.
"Babe it's okay."
Jesy rolled her eyes.
"Jesy I get what you must think of me, but it isn't what it looked like."
"Really?!"
"Yes, really. Look, I'm not gay. Everyone's always thought I am with first impressions and whatever, but I can assure you I don't like men in that way. I have never kissed another bloke in my life. Eddie tried it on, I didn't want that to happen. He didn't give me an option. I've explained everything to Perrie."
Jesy watched as Perrie came to stand beside me. "It wasn't what any of us thought Jes, I believe him. We've sorted everything out."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"That's great then. I'm glad everything's alright." Jesy gave me a genuine smile. "Pez, can I get Claud's number off you before I go? I accidentally deleted it."
"Yeah, two seconds..."
Perrie left the room for her phone and I expected Jesy to lay into me, or warn me off causing Perrie any more pain, but she just sat on the arm of the sofa.
"So he forced himself on you? Was he drunk?"
"I don't think so, it doesn't really matter."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine thank you."
"Aren't you supposed to be working with him?"
"Not anymore. I'm not having anything else to do with him after the other day."
"That's a shame though... Perrie said you might get somewhere with your music."
"Maybe I still will, we'll have to see. But not with him."
"Yes, but-" Jesy began, but stopped when Perrie came back in.
"I've just texted you it now, you numpty."
"Thanks, loser! Right, I'll see you at the end of the week."
"Okay. I'll miss you!" Perrie pouted.
"Awh me too! I'm sure you'll survive." Jesy laughed, giving her a quick hug. "See you Jakob!"
"Bye."
Perrie came back after showing her to the door, scowling. "She didn't say anything to you, did she?"
"No, why?"
"I thought she was trying to get rid of me to have words."
"No, she didn't say much. Nothing like that. Don't worry."
"Okay... do you want some ice cream?"
"We've not eaten yet!"
"So?"
"No, you're not having ice cream till we've had dinner."
"What? Are you my father?" Perrie laughed.
"I'm just not holding your hair back when you're chucking up ice cream tonight, so no. Be patient."
"Fine... do you want a kiss instead?"
"Yes, definitely."
"Thought so..."
"Well, why the hell would I say no?!"
**
We watched Bridesmaids and There's Something About Mary and ate pizza and ice cream, by which time it was late, and both of us were tired from the long day and eating too much.
"I'm gonna have to get in some serious shape before this tour." Perrie moaned as we went upstairs.
"There's nothing wrong with you, you're perfect."
"Still can't dance with a pot belly."
"What pot belly? You don't even have a belly!" I laughed as we crawled into bed.
We hadn't even turned the lamp off when my phone started to ring.
"Who wants you at this time?" Perrie frowned, sitting up again.
"It's Alfie." I said, also frowning. "Hi Alfie, what's up?"
"Hi bro... look, I don't want you to worry or anything... but we've got a problem."
"What problem? What's wrong?"
"Don't worry, I'm sure it's nothing really... Maddie hasn't come home."
"You what?" I whispered, my heart starting to pound. Perrie held my free hand, looking afraid.
"She went out quite early this morning... dad tried ringing her a couple of hours ago and she didn't answer... we haven't been able to get hold of her since and none of her friends we know have seen her."
"Oh my god, oh my god..." I scrambled out of bed and looked around for my jeans. Sensing something was seriously wrong, Perrie got up too and flung my clothes at me, before quickly rummaging for some clothes of her own.
"Don't panic-"
"How am I supposed to not panic?! It's nearly one in the morning, she's only sixteen... I'm coming home now, and I'll look for her. She's got to be somewhere in the area. Keep trying her phone."
"I will. Are you sure you can come home?"
"Of course I'm bloody sure!"
"Alright! Good, cos I- dad's freaking out, I don't know what to say to him."
"I'll be home really soon. I'm gonna look for her. Tell him I'll be right home."
"Lauren's gone out looking for her." Alfie said. "She went driving around about an hour ago, we didn't want to worry you, but we haven't found her."
"I'll see you in a few minutes." I said, and I hung up. Before Perrie could say anything, I went to Maddie's number and pressed call. It went straight to answerphone and I felt like crying.
"Maddie if you get this; call me, call dad, call one of us. For god's sake we're all losing it here. Call us."
Perrie seemed to have grasped what was happening. She grabbed her own phone and held it to her ear. A second later she said. "Hi, Lauren? Yeah, Alfie just told us... we're going back to Bear's now. Yeah. You've not seen her yet? Okay, we'll see you soon. Okay." She hung up and I was pulling on my second trainer. "You ready babe?"
"Yeah."
"Come on." Perrie gripped my hand, and we ran downstairs. "It's gonna be alright, we'll find her."
"I'm sorry about this-"
"Don't be daft. Right, is there maybe a different way we could drive back to yours? Maybe a different way through town where she might be?"
"I haven't got a clue where she might be." I said, tears filling my eyes as Perrie locked her front door.
"Hey... hey come on, don't babe..."
"Oh god, Perrie she's never done this before. What if something's happened to her-"
"Don't do that, Bear you don't know that. Come on, get in the car. We need to get to your house."
Perrie was speeding down deserted streets when I started to cry properly.
"Babe please, please calm down..." She begged.
"She doesn't do this Perrie. She doesn't ever do this. She hardly ever even sleepover anywhere. She doesn't just disappear. Something's happened to her."
"Jakob stop it, you don't know that. Stop thinking the worst. You don't know anything's happened to her at all."
"And how do you know it's not?"