"AYEDAH!"
Ayedah's eyelids fluttered open with what seemed like a tremendous effort, and they were immediately blinded by the limited amount of light in her dark bedroom. Her ears stung from the pounding and banging at the door, and she groaned as she heard her mother's voice.
"Ayedah, get up. Come out!"
"Oh, for crying out loud," she whispered, and tried to drag herself up to open the door, but couldn't; an invisible weight was holding her down, chaining her to the mattress. The exhaustion overwhelmed her; it felt impossible to sit up, let alone stand and walk to the door. Unable to force herself up, she leaned back into the pillows, her chest tight and her eyes stinging as they longed to shut themselves again.
Ayedah realized in barely a few seconds that she need not get up; the door flew open, the key hanging from the keyhole. Her mother stormed into the room.
"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded. "I'm not well, Mum," said Ayedah hoarsely, barely able to keep her eyes open to look up at her mother. "Sick? SICK?" her mother looked absolutely furious, and Ayedah recoiled under the covers, which were ripped off of her body roughly.
"Get up, Ayedah, and enough of this nonsense," snapped Sama'. "Just stop it." "Stop what, Ummi? I'm not lying," pleaded Ayedah, trying to sit up. "I'm sick, I really am...something's wrong with me, and I need help." Her mother slapped a hand to her forehead for barely 10 seconds then drew it away, as if touching Ayedah was lethal to her. "You're fine," said her mother curtly. "There's no fever, just get up." "I c-can't," whimpered Ayedah, and her mother's eyes flared up. "GET. UP," she snarled. "I'm a doctor, Ayedah, you think I don't know you're faking all this? I can tell if you're fine or not, if you need help or not!"
"Do you really?" asked Ayedah quietly. "Do you really? If you really knew, I probably wouldn't be as bad here." Her mother scoffed at her, her spit flying. "This is getting out of hand, Ayedah," she growled. "How can you have missed school today?" "This past week, Ummi," said Ayedah softly, and her mother's eyes widened. "THIS PAST WEEK?!? Who do you think you are?" Ayedah didn't know whether or not that was the angriest she had ever seen her mother, because it seemed to have gotten worse every time she would reproach her.
"I didn't bring you up to be a spoiled child who thinks they could miss school because they don't want to try, because they're lazy," snarled Sama'. Ayedah's heart clenched at her mother's words, and she was too tired to hold back her tears. "Please, Ummi, you need to help me," begged Ayedah. "I don't know what's wrong with me...I didn't ask to be like this, I never wanted any of this." She tried to take her mother's hand, but it was pulled away roughly. "I know what you didn't ask for, and that's to go to your school," said her mother. "I'm sorry, Ayedah, I really am but you need to stay there. We don't want you to just give up on it, you'll survive there! You need to get that into your head. You'll do well, you'll uphold this family's honour and make us proud! You'll be happy there!"
"But I'm not," cried Ayedah. "How dare you force me through this? I'm a child, I'm YOUR child!" "You just want an easy life, don't you?" scoffed Sama'. "You just think you could float through life easily, have everyone do everything for you, have everything you do effortless! You need hardship in your life, Ayedah, this is how you get it!"
"You think I don't know HARDSHIP?!?"
It was a wonder to Ayedah for how she had the strength to fight back. "How dare you assume that? Are you the one fighting my battles, Mum? Are you the one in my head? Are you the one experiencing what I feel?" Her mother was silent for a while, and for a moment Ayedah thought she would finally understand. But she was wrong:
"Of course, that's who I am, isn't it?" her mother said, her voice mocking. "I'm the villain, I make your life so hard, don't I? Oh poor you, poor you, who is so weak, who is so vulnerable that you have to just lie in bed and cry all day, and forget about your responsibilities. Of course I don't understand your pain, of course I don't understand your suffering, of course I don't understand your weakness." Ayedah blinked at her mother, her eyes stinging with tears by then, her heart clenching uncomfortably. The poignant atmosphere in her bedroom was suffocating her- the tension between her and her mother was intoxicating.
"You can't continue like this, Ayedah," said her mother, her voice soft. "I'm not spending a single penny for you to change schools. You must get over this...this depression nonsense. There's no such thing. You're fine, you just need to put more effort into this." Ayedah shook her head, and she felt the hot tears slip down her cheeks as she tried to sit up. "Please, Ummi," she begged. "You have to help me, please...I can't live like this anymore-"
SLAP.
Ayedah's eyes widened as her cheek stung with pain, and she stared at her mother, who too looked shocked at what she just did.
She had hit her daughter for the first time...something neither of them ever thought would happen, nor wanted to happen.
Ayedah held her cheek, her brown eyes wide, her tear-streaked face full of anguish. But her mother's remorse was only temporary.
"You are lucky I do not ever plan to do that again," she snarled. "I am your mother, whether I 'understand' your so-called 'problems' or not, I know what is best for you. I have helped you ever since you were born, but you are just too blind and too ungrateful and too weak to see it. Now, get out of this room, and don't come back in until it's time for you to REALLY go to bed, or else I will unhinge this damn door."
And with that, Ayedah's mother walked out of the room, and slammed the door behind her.
----------
Ayedah woke up to the sound of a BANG, feeling hot. She could feel cold sweat trickling down the back of her neck from the roots of her hair, and she wiped her face with her sleeve. It was just a dream, she told herself firmly. It was just a dream...a memory...it happened a long time ago, it's okay now.
She's dead now.
She squeezed her eyes shut, then reopened them again and looked at her alarm clock; it was 5:45 AM. She hurriedly got up and hopped into the shower, her left arm outstretched as she leant against the wall for support, her palm pressed into the cold tile of the shower wall. She focused on her breathing as she let the cold water fall into her hair and stream down her back, taking deep inhales and breathing out long exhales to calm her nerves. It was a little ritual Ayedah discovered over the years, especially when she was in university- whenever she was stressed, she would take a cold shower and focus on her breathing as she let her body soak in the water.
Ayedah spent another half an hour in the shower before finally stepping out and drying herself. She slipped on the outfit she had picked out to wear that day to work; a dark pair of jeans along with a black shirt and waterproof jacket- Summer was turning into Autumn, and Ayedah had already watched as slight drizzles took place outside. She had always enjoyed the rain, for to her, she felt as if it was the sky telling her how it feels as it looks down upon the broken, cold, cruel world that was continuously being destroyed by her inhabitants. To Ayedah, whenever it rained, the sky was crying...she knew that the slow and supple drizzles will eventually turn into thunderstorms, and perhaps then into blizzards- it was a sign that the sky had been holding in its feelings and emotions for too long. She took to her morning prayer after she had finished changing, though she wasn't very focused due to the daze her dream had given her.
Stormy woke up and stretched as Ayedah wrapped her midnight blue headscarf around her head after she had finished praying, and she groaned as the cat rubbed himself against her ankles. "Ugh, I was hoping to be gone before you woke up so Aunty Gab would feed you instead," she muttered, and the cat gave her an indignant look before sashaying out the door, his bushy grey tail stuck up in the air like a duster. Ayedah scoffed at the cat's behaviour and rolled her eyes, before inserting a final pin to keep her headscarf together and grabbing her backpack. She hurried downstairs, where Aunty Gab was waiting with her breakfast.
"Don't you think I don't know that you've been missing breakfast," she said to Ayedah sternly. "And how do you know if I have?" asked Ayedah, as she sat herself down at the kitchen island and brought a cup of warm tea to her lips. Aunty Gab sighed. "You've been doing it for years, why would you stop now?" she asked. Ayedah was prone to skipping meals, especially breakfast, and Aunty Gab knew it. The girl had been extremely insecure about her weight in her teenage years, especially when she started on her mood stabilizers that caused an increase in appetite which led to weight gain. Ayedah had then made a habit of forcing herself not to eat as much as possible on a daily basis, just enough to get her through a busy 24 hours. Her aunt had noticed it through her visits and was determined to put an end to it as soon as Ayedah moved in, but so far she had not been successful- as Ayedah still had a poor schedule with her meals, even if she did treat herself once in a while.
"It hasn't gotten to the point where I'd have anorexia or anything, Aunty Gab," said Ayedah, as she rejected a sausage that her aunt was trying to persuade her to eat. "I'm alright- besides, I need to watch it, if I eat too much my appetite can change and I don't want to regain the weight I spent years losing." Aunty Gab sighed and chuckled. "You're just like me when I was younger, worrying about my weight and looks," she said. "But you need to know that as you get older you will need to eat to keep up your strength, as well as exercise."
Ayedah laughed at her aunt; unlike Gabriella, who worked out twice a week, Ayedah was not into fitness of any sort. Perhaps walking, running or swimming was fine, but she doubted that anyone could persuade her to go to a gymnasium for a full blown workout. "You're funny, Aunty Gab," she said as she heard her phone vibrate in her pocket, and took it out. A text notification from Ozge was on the screen, saying: "We're pulling up to your place." She slurped down the rest of her tea, patting her aunt on the shoulder and slinging her bag over her shoulders. "Have fun, and work hard, alright?" said Aunty Gab. "You're going to do great." "God-willing," chuckled Ayedah and walked out the door to see Emel's car pull up in front of the house.
----------
"You have about an hour before all the other writers get here," said Ozge. "Come and watch us train, it'll be fun." Ayedah's eyes widened. "I'm allowed to?" "Of course you are!" said a voice from behind, which Ayedah immediately recognized as Yigit Ucan's, and she, Ozge and Emel turned around. He was smiling as he quickly greeted them with a 'Selam Aleykum' that was returned, and said, "The screenwriters are supposed to be monitoring the training from time to time, Ayedah. So they know the capability of the actors and how to match them with the different scenes- it's important, especially in action filmmaking." Ayedah nodded with interest; she knew from watching other shows and Dizis that Ucan Family had been in the film industry of Turkey for years, and she had expected Yigit to have plenty of experience. She gave him a small smile in thanks for the information, as a man she recognized as Omer Agan, who played Saltuk Alp in the series, walked up to them.
"Come on to the training pen, Celik's already started," he said. Yigit rolled his eyes affectionately. "Of course he has," he chuckled and jogged off to the pen with Omer whilst Ayedah followed Ozge and Emel to get their horses from the stables.
She stepped back a little as they took out their horses, Ozge's being a snowy white and Emel's being chestnut. They were rather large horses, and immediately Ayedah stumbled back in intimidation, making Ozge and Emel laugh. "Don't worry, Ayedah, they don't bite," said Ozge kindly, sticking out her hand to help her friend. "Come and pet them, they're friendly." Ayedah scrutinized them, her eyes narrowed, and shook her head. "Thanks...maybe another time," she said nervously, and the girls smiled at her understandingly. "There's no one on this set who hasn't ridden a horse yet, Ayedah," said Emel. "Sooner or later, you'll fall in love with them too." "I'm sure," said Ayedah, skeptical sarcasm dripping in her voice, making Emel giggle.
The two led their horses to the training field, with Ayedah carefully following alongside them. As they got closer, they could make out three other people riding horses, having them speed into gallops or slow into trots. Ayedah immediately recognized the green hoodie that Yigit wore from earlier, with his shoulder-length tawny hair shining in the sun as well as Omer, who had been wearing a black t-shirt with his dark hair in a manly bun. It took her a while to recognize the last person, but as soon as he rode closer to them she realized that it was Burak Celik, and she smiled- that was, until she realized something that made her step back slightly and stare:
He didn't have a shirt on.
Ayedah felt rather uncomfortable suddenly and pointedly stared at the ground as she walked toward the field with Ozge and Emel, until she heard them come to a stop. "Merhaba, everyone," said Emel as she got upon her horse, and the trainer led her into the riding area. "Good morning, Emel," Ayedah heard Burak's deep voice greet her, and she kept her head down to look at the ground. "Ayedah, is everything alright?" asked Ozge, concerned as she noticed her friend's expression as she stared at the earth. "I'm fine, just something in my shoe," she muttered, pretending to fidget with her feet, as she heard the sound of horse's hooves trotting across the ground and feeling the vibrations coming toward her. "Good morning, Ozge. And good morning and greetings to you, Ayedah," said Burak Celik, getting off his horse to greet them. Ayedah furrowed her brows. "Early again, eh Burak?" asked Ozge, chortling. "Of course I am," said Burak with a grin. He turned to Ayedah, who pointedly turned away out of embarrassment. Burak turned back to Ozge and asked, "This is her first day working here, right?" "Yes it is," said Ozge with a grin, and patted her friend on the shoulder before- to Ayedah's horror- getting up onto her horse and trotting off to join the rest on the field, and it was then just the two of them.
"Selam, Ayedah," said Burak with a smile, as Ayedah continued to stare at the ground, and nodded at him. "Good morning, Mr. Cel-Burak," she said, remembering that she was to call him Burak whenever Ozcivit wasn't around. Burak laughed, and said, "Glad you remembered our discussion on that." Ayedah smiled, though her eyes were still on the ground. She suddenly felt a finger tip her chin up, and found herself meeting his ocean blue eyes. A chill ran down her spine and through her veins at the contact, and she stiffened slightly- she was relieved when Burak finally drew his hand away after he had gotten her to meet his eyes. "Are you alright?" he asked, concerned. "Why do you keep looking at the ground?" "Er- it's nothing, I was just trying to get a bit of dirt out of my shoes," she said, trying not to sound sheepish as she pointedly tried to focus on his eyes, and not let her own trail onto his bare top half. Burak nodded at her, and seeming satisfied with her answer, smiled.
"Are you planning to come riding with us anytime soon?" he asked. "W-what? Me? No..." said Ayedah. "I like horses but...I think I should start writing before anything." "Ah of course," Burak grinned at her, and she noticed that his eyes fell upon something behind them.
"There's Mehmet coming to fetch you now. I should go, continue training," said Burak, and as quick as lightning, he boarded his horse effortlessly- and poor Ayedah's eyes couldn't miss the flex of muscles in his powerful chest and shoulders as he did so, and she could've kicked herself when she felt the heat rise up into her cheeks. Burak, not noticing her fluster, gave her one last smile and rode off with the others as the horse trainer guided them through the pen and into the field on the other side, and before long, Ayedah heard someone calling out her name from behind.
"Ayedah?"
Ayedah turned, and to her relief saw that it was Mehmet who had come to find her. "You're here early, you are," he chuckled. "Come to see your new friends train?" "O-oh, they're not...well...I...only Ozge-" "It's okay," said Bozdag kindly. "You'll get to know them all eventually- they are a welcoming and friendly bunch." Ayedah gave him a small smile, relieved that he did not find her answer rude. The show producer clapped his hands together and said, "Well, let's get a move on now! We've got plenty to do and the other writers want to meet you immediately." Ayedah nodded, and followed Bozdag away from the training field, her stomach churning as she anticipated her first day of screenwriting.
----------
A/N: Hey y'all, this isn't a very long chapter but I think it's okay for today, I quite liked it to be honest :)
So...dang, Ayedah. It's her first day working, how do you guys think it's going to go? I personally hope it goes alright, hehe. Do you think we'll get to see more of Ayedah's past and backstory as we get deeper into the story? And do you think that it's going to affect the storyline and plot of this book? Let me know what you think.
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please remember to vote and comment <3
Thanks for reading,
Ayesha <3