"So Amanda... she's quite serious about skating, huh?" To me Charlie's voice sounds almost careful, as if that might be a delicate topic. "She's supportive" I say, a smile on my lips. To underline my point I add "If I were to decide I don't wanna do it anymore, she'd accept it. But as long as I wanna do it she makes sure I'm in it with my heart." I don't want him to get the impression that my parents pressure me into doing anything because that's not at all what this is.
"I love skating from the bottom of my heart. To me it's not even a question whether or not I wanna do it. It's a part of me." I'm saying that more to myself than to Charlie. "Wow, you are definitely very passionate about this." I shoot a quick glance over at him. "Isn't that what you feel like with hockey?" He did seem happy when I watched him practice.
For a while he's quiet, thinking about it. When we're almost at school he says "I guess I really enjoy hockey but it's nothing compared to the way you feel towards skating." For a moment I'm a little disappointed. Not only is he not a figure skater, which I hoped to be paired with, but he doesn't share the same strong passion as me either.
I quickly shake off those thoughts, it's not fair. I know my love for skating isn't too common, Sarah regularly teases me about it, so I can't expect him to feel the same. "Is there anything you love that much though?" I pull into the parking lot at school and we both get out of the car.
I guess Charlie used that interruption to avoid my question. Infront of the building some of his friends are waiting. "I'll see you at noon." Waving at me Charlie walks over to his friends and I'm left to wonder if the cute guy I'm living with has a secret passion of his own.
"So Miaaaaaa... how was the rest of your day?" Sarah wiggles her eyebrows at me while saying that. It's as if she knows what happened last night. I immediately blush at the memory of how I woke up with my head rest against Charlie's shoulder. "Omg Mia! What happened?" Of course Sarah didn't miss the change in the color of my cheeks. I try to shake it off and sound as casual as possible.
"Nothing happened Sarah." Pouting she says "Oh come on I can tell there's something!" I look around the hallway, making sure no one is witnessing her interrogation. Luckily, most of the students are in class already. "Let's get to class." I turn around and start walking towards our first class of the day. Sarah follows close behind. "Don't think I'll let you off that easy!" I know she won't but it's fun to leave her in the dark.
"OK those were the longest 90 minutes of my life. Tell me!" I can't stop myself from bursting into laughter. Throughout our whole history class Sarah shot me tormented looks and it took all my strength to ignore her and not laugh out loud. "Omg Sarah there's nothing to tell! We watched a movie ok?" I can see a small sliver of disappointment in her eyes... of course she hoped for more. "That's all?" - "What did you think was gonna happen? A hot make-out session?"
I can't stop the red flushing back into my cheeks. Of course we didn't make out but... "There's more." Sarah is pointing her finger at me. Why can she read me so well? "Mia Carter, you're hiding something." I look around once again. Why am I suddenly so conscious about the people around me? It never once bothered me before who can hear what I'm saying. Not that I had much to tell. It's hard enough to keep up friendships when you're constantly spending your time at a cold ice rink, any contacts with boys are a whole different level.
Not that I've never dated anyone before. I've had a few on-off relationships and a couple of pointless dates but no one could ever really understand my passion and why I spend so much time on the ice. I can't blame them. It's hard to understand if you never felt that way towards anything before. "Hello?" Sarah looks at me expectantly. Sighing I lean closer to her and whisper into her ear, so definitely no one else can hear, "I may have fallen asleep and woken up rest against him."
I feel embarrassed once again, the memory a vivid as if it just happened. Sarah wiggles her eyebrows once again, which makes me hit her softly. "It's not a big deal." I try hard to sound casual but a small part of me still feels embarrassed. "Of course it's not." I can hear the teasing in her voice. "Whatever. I'm heading down to the rink, will you cover for me?" It's not like me to miss so many classes in such a short time span but I just need to get my mind off things.
"Sure." I turn to leave but then Sarah says "Oh Mia?" so I turn back around. "It clearly isn't a big deal." Rolling my eyes at her I turn back around and head down to the rink. She isn't entirely wrong though. If it wasn't a big deal I wouldn't need to go clear my head right now. But why is it? Nothing happened. Charlie didn't mind. Is my problem really that I'm embarrassed or is there something else?
I tighten my laces before I step onto the ice. Pushing myself off the barrier I immediately feel free. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I press play on my phone. Fight Song starts playing through my headphones and I start my program. Once I'm done I just keep my playlist running and do some freestyle, my head finally feeling free.