"Merry Christmas!" Meredith shouted over the Christmas music as she, Derek and Zola walked into the house. Alex was playing trains with Sofia and Archie in the living room while Jackson and Callie tried to build the train track Archie had got. Arizona was in the kitchen with April and Erin, the three of them trying to cook, while Cristina got drunk and laughed at their failures.
"Merry Christmas!" Erin called.
"This house is chaotic," Derek chuckled, walking into the kitchen. "I love it," he said.
"Me, too," Erin smiled widely. "Feels good to have everybody back. We miss you guys living here," she said. Meredith smiled and hugged her sister.
"I'll come for a sleepover soon," she said.
"Good," Erin laughed.
"I am exhausted," Erin groaned, sitting on the couch beside Meredith once they'd put the kids to bed. They'd decided that everybody would just crash at their place, considering most were too drunk to drive.
Meredith and Derek were taking Alex's bed for the night, while Alex was going to sleep in the study with Jackson and April. Callie and Sofia had decided to get in Cristina's bed with her and Erin and Arizona had been lucky enough to keep their own bed, due to Meredith insisting.
"There's still a present under the tree," Meredith said. The chatter in the room fell quiet and Arizona got up from the other couch, grabbing the present.
It was a small box wrapped in light blue snowflake wrapping paper.
"It's for you," she said, handing it to Erin. She took it curiously, unwrapping the box.
Inside was a glass bauble with Quinn painted on it in pale pink lettering. There were white feathers inside and Erin felt tears well up in her eyes.
"It's beautiful," she whispered.
"Archie didn't get to meet her and neither did a lot of us, but that doesn't mean she isn't part of our family. I know you hate holidays, too, but I figured that she should get to be a part of this," Arizona said. Erin stood up and put the bauble on the tree, smiling as it glittered in the Christmas lights.
"It's beautiful. Thank you," Erin whispered, pulling Arizona into a hug and kissing her softly.
"I love you," Arizona smiled against her lips.
"I love you, more," Erin said.
"Hey," Arizona stepped into hers and Erin's room after she'd put Archie to bed. They were both in their Christmas pyjamas, matching navy blue reindeer ones that Erin and Meredith had bought for everyone at their Christmas celebration.
"Hi," Erin smiled at her girlfriend.
"Come with me," she held her hand out.
"Where? It's almost midnight and we're tipsy," Erin said. Arizona laughed.
"I'm sober. Come with me," she said.
"Where?" Erin said, standing up and taking her hand.
"On an adventure. You'll need your coat," Arizona said.
"Okay," Erin followed Arizona downstairs.
She pulled her coat on, Arizona pulling hers on, and Erin followed Arizona out of the back door.
Erin stopped in her tracks as she looked at the garden.
There were lanterns hung and lit around the garden on wooden posts that hadn't been there the day before. There was a small speaker in the wooden gazebo Derek had built before the crash for the kids. Inside was a Christmas tree, the one from inside, with all of the lights and decorations still on it.
It looked like something out of a Christmas fairytale and Erin realised that Christmas may now be her favourite holiday.
"Arizona, what is this?" Erin asked softly.
"This is your last present," Arizona said, leading Erin to stand underneath some of the fairy lights before the gazebo. Arizona pressed a button on a remote in her pocket and soft music started playing through the speaker.
Erin recognised the song to be XO, the John Mayer version.
"Will you dance with me?" Arizona smiled.
"Of course," Erin took her hand and wrapped an arm around Arizona's neck, letting her wrap hers around Erin's waist.
Your love is bright as ever, even in the shadows. Baby, kiss me, before they turn the lights out.
Your heart is glowing, and I'm crashing into you. Baby, kiss me, kiss me, before they turn the lights out. Before they turn the lights out, baby, love me lights out.
They swayed to the music, Erin closing her eyes as she inhaled the soft gingerbread scent coming from Arizona's hair. They'd bought special gingerbread shampoo and conditioner to get into the festive mood and Erin knew instantly that gingerbread would now forever be her weakness.
In the darkest night, I'll search through the crowd. Your face is all that I see, I'll give you everything. Baby, love me lights out, baby, love me lights out.
We don't have forever, baby, daylight's wasting. You better kiss me, before our time has run out.
Erin pulled back enough to kiss Arizona, eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks as Arizona brought a hand up to Erin's neck. Her thumb ghosted over Erin's pulse point, and then moved to rest on Erin's bottom lip as Arizona pulled back.
She slotted her head back in Erin's neck, pressing three soft kisses over her pulse point. I love you.
Nobody sees what we see, they're just hopelessly gazing. Baby, take me, take me, before they turn the lights out. Before time has run out, baby, love me lights out.
In the darkest night, I'll search through the crowd. Your face is all that I see, I'll give you everything. Baby, love me lights out, baby, love me lights out. You can turn my lights out.
Arizona pulled back, letting go of Erin's waist with one hand as she reached into her coat pocket. She pulled out a black box and Erin felt her mouth drop open.
She was going to propose.
"I know we've had a rough few months and we've been through some real dark and twisty shit. The crash taught me a lot of things, but the most important thing it taught me is that living isn't forever. You never know when your last kiss or hug or conversation will be. I don't want to spend another minute knowing that you won't be my last everything. I don't want to keep going without knowing that you are my forever, no matter what life throws at us. If we die tomorrow, I want to go out knowing that I love you and you love me," Arizona said, tears filling in her eyes as she spoke.
I love you like XO, you love me like XO. You kill me, girl, XO, you love me like XO.
"I love you and I love our son and I want so much for us. I want us to get married. I want us to fill this frat house with more kids. I want waffle sundays with everybody in our messed up family. I want to wake up with you in my bed for the rest of my life," Arizona said.
All that I see, give you everything.
"I want that," Erin whispered, tears already streaming down her cheeks. "I want that more than anything," she said.
Baby, love me lights out, baby, love me lights out, you can turn my lights out.
Arizona let go of Erin's waist completely, getting down on one knee. She opened up the black box in her hand to reveal a stunning engagement ring.
It was a thin gold band with a circular diamond in the center. The ring was delicate, it was simple, but it was perfect.
"Erin Elizabeth Grey, I am so in love with you and I can't wait for the life we have ahead. Will you marry me?" Arizona asked.
Erin leaned down and put her hands on either side of Arizona's face. She kissed her deeply, pulling her back onto her feet. She pulled back, tasting their mingling tears on her lips.
"Yes, Arizona Robbins. I will marry you," Erin said.
Arizona put the ring on Erin's left hand ring finger, then intertwined the rest of their fingers and pulled Erin flush against her body. Erin rested her chin on Arizona's shoulder, pressing kisses to the pink tinges in her cheeks from the cold.
Erin felt something land on her hand and looked up, smiling when she saw it was starting to snow. She closed her eyes, snowflakes landing in her hair and eyelashes. Arizona pulled back enough to stare at her fiancée.
"You are so beautiful. You look like an angel," Arizona whispered. Erin blushed, hiding her face in Arizona's neck as they started swaying to the final verse of the song.
In the darkest night, I'll search through the crowd. Your face is all that I see, I'll give you everything.
Baby, love me lights out, baby, love me lights out.
You can turn my lights out.
Erin smiled at Owen as he walked into the kitchen with three coffee cups. He put one down in front of her, putting his fingers to his lips as he crept over to Jo crouching by one of the cupboards.
"Owen," she whispered.
"Breakfast for two?" Owen said, wrapping his arms around Jo's waist as she stood up. Erin snorted.
"Oh!" Jo gasped, spinning out of Owen's arms. His face dropped and Erin laughed, sipping the coffee he'd brought for her.
"Erin, you could've told me!" he cried.
"I tried," Erin laughed.
"I thought you were Cristina. I'm so sorry," Owen said, grabbing the two coffees left and running out of the room.
"You should wear pants, Wilson," Erin said, handing Archie another slice of toast.
"Tanks," Archie said.
"The chief of surgery just touched my boobs," Jo whispered. Erin laughed.
"Sit down. I'll make you some toast and coffee," Erin said. Jo nodded, sitting down in the seat Erin vacated to make toast and coffee.
"Morning, Wilson," Arizona said, stepping into the kitchen.
"Morning," Jo mumbled.
"How's the hangover?" she asked, already grabbing the banana bag and the IV needle for Jo.
She and Alex had gotten close since the wedding a month ago and it was most nights where she and Alex came home drunk. Jo was sleeping on the couch, so Erin had made up the study bedroom for her and Jo had claimed that as hers whenever she stayed over.
Which, was pretty much every night since. So, Erin had made sure to get a handy collection of banana bags so Jo wouldn't die at work. She had been on Erin's service quite a lot so it was more for Erin's benefits than Jo's.
"It's bad," Jo said.
"Big day today," Arizona said, poking the needle into Jo's arm.
"I know," Erin said.
"Why?" Jo asked curiously.
"It's the settlement meeting today," Erin made a face, putting the coffee and toast in front of Jo. "The meeting that decides if we win or if we lose," she said.
"Oh, from the crash," Jo realised. "Sorry," she added.
"It's okay," Erin shrugged. "Feed the kids. I'm going to get dressed," Erin kissed Arizona's cheek, hurrying upstairs to get dressed.
"Did I miss it?" Callie cried, running into the courthouse. Erin, Meredith, Derek, Cristina and Arizona nodded slowly. "Damn it. I'm sorry. I got out of the OR as fast as I could, but I didn't think it was gonna happen today. Oh, god. Was it bad?" she said. They stayed silent. "It wasn't?" she asked.
"We won," Arizona said, hand clinging tightly to Erin's.
"He said the airline company had a history of mechanical problems with the plane. It was in public record, and the hospital should've known. He found the hospital negligent," Derek said.
"So, we won," Erin said.
"When's he gonna tell us about the award? I mean... I hate to be all about the money-" Callie started.
"He already did," Cristina said.
"He's giving us $15 million," Arizona said.
"Whoa," Callie breathed.
"Each," she finished. Callie's face lit up and Erin sighed, rubbing her face tensely.
"So, what happens now, the hospital hands us a check for $15 million?" Callie asked their lawyer.
"Oh, well, their insurance company does, and it'll probably take some time to get through all the bureaucratic rigmarole, but, yeah. Pending appeal, the insurance company will issue each of you a big check," she said. Derek sighed.
"In the meantime, I have a ping-pong ball to hit," Derek said.
"Yeah, we gotta get back, too, Erin. I have James Leggett's surgery so you and Karev are running board," Arizona said.
"Oh, how is James?" Derek asked.
"Well, that's right. You and-and Mark did his original cranial expansion," Arizona smiled.
"Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Why is everyone rushing off? This is a momentous event. Shouldn't we do something, like celebrate or..." Callie trailed off as everybody stared at her with a blank face. "Okay, maybe celebrate is too strong a word. Dinner. We should have a dinner," Callie said.
Erin scoffed and Callie sighed.
"Come on. We've been sitting in rooms with each other for months talking about this, and we just won. What's wrong with sitting in one more room with food in front of us?" Callie said.
"I have a surgery," Erin said, turning and walking out of the room.
"Wait for me," Arizona said. Erin sighed and leaned against the hallway. Cristina, Derek and Meredith left the room, all three nodding at her. She nodded back, looking away as Callie followed. Arizona came last and Erin fell into step beside her. "So, you think the meal is a stupid idea?" Arizona said.
"You don't?" Erin asked. Arizona sighed.
"I do," Arizona said.
"Do we go?" Erin asked.
"I'll let you know if I can get out of it. If I can, you should," Arizona whispered.
"Deal," Erin whispered back, holding the door open for Arizona so they could leave the courthouse.
"I'm back," Erin said, leaning against the pediatric nurses desk next to Alex.
"How did it go?" he asked.
"We won," Erin sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder. He stopped scribbling on his charts and looked at her.
"You won?" he said.
"We won," Erin nodded. "Fifteen million," she said.
"Fifteen?" he asked.
"Each," Erin finished. "I don't want fifteen million," she groaned.
"I know," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "You want Lexie and Mark back. You want this plane crash never to have happened," he said.
"But it did. So I have fifteen million dollars and a dead big sister. Great," Erin said. "Oh, and Callie wants us to go to a dinner tonight, a celebratory one. Arizona can't get out of it, so I can't get out of it, so can you mind the baby?" Erin said.
"I can," Alex said. "I'll pick you guys up, if you want to drink," he said.
"I'll see what time it finishes," Erin said. "I have to go into surgery. I'll see you later," Erin said.
"Good luck," Alex smiled at her as she walked away.
"How's everyone's dinner?" Callie asked.
"Good," Derek said.
"Good," Arizona said.
"Good," Meredith nodded.
"Good," Erin said.
"Yeah. It's good. Good," Callie said.
"How'd the surgery with James go?" Derek asked Arizona.
"Uh, Jackson didn't listen. He went ahead with the monobloc readvancement," Arizona said.
"Really? How long did that take?" Derek asked.
"Five hours. Yeah. I stood there, you know, just to make sure he didn't mess it up," Arizona smiled.
"Ma'am?" a waiter held out a bottle of champagne to Callie. She smiled happily.
"Uh, perfect. Okay, very good. I'd like to make a toast," she said. The waiter started pouring glasses.
"Oh, Callie, no toasts. You know what? Let's just get this dinner over with," Arizona sighed at her best friend.
"Arizona stood for five hours," Callie said. Erin bit her lip to hide her smile at how proud she was of her fiancée. She knew Arizona didn't want to make a big deal about it, but it kind of was a big deal in terms of progress.
"That's not the point," Arizona shook her head.
"Yeah, I know. Do you realize how big a deal it is you standing for five hours isn't the point? Do you know what else happened today? Derek played ping-pong," Callie said.
"And lost," Derek scoffed.
"And wanted to keep on playing 'cause his wrist wasn't sore. And Erin and Arizona got engaged!" Callie said. "What are you doing?" Callie said. Erin followed her eyes to Cristina, seeing that she was texting.
"Oh, sorry. I'm just, uh, quick texting Owen," Cristina said.
"Sexting," Meredith smirked.
"No, she's-she's trying is what she's doing. Yeah. You just divorced the guy, and here you are texting him," Callie said.
"Mer's right. I'm sexting," Cristina smirked.
"Oh, well, even better. Mark would've loved that. Sex was the thing he loved more than anything else. And we're all having it, so that's... Well, um... Well, we're trying. Yeah, okay. We're... Don't you see that? We're all trying. We're trying to move on, which is progress. And it feels weird... and sad and wrong, but it also feels exciting," Callie said, her voice breaking. "I miss Mark and Lexie. And I'm heartbroken that they're not here tonight. I'm heartbroken, but... I'm also grateful that all of you are. And I'm gonna celebrate that. And we are gonna toast. Come on. Toast. Pick up your glasses and toast," Callie said.
"Oh, no, thank you," Meredith put her hand over her glass as the waiter approached her.
"Yes, she's having champagne. Grey, we're all having champagne," Callie said firmly. Erin held her glass out for the waiter to try and get the attention off of Meredith.
"No, I can't," Meredith said.
"Just try. Try. Come on. Just try. Is it too much to ask you to try?" Callie asked.
"I can't because I'm pregnant," Meredith said.
"What?" Callie gasped.
"Aww," Arizona cooed.
"What?" Callie said. Erin smiled and nudged Meredith.
"And I'm happy, so let's celebrate," Meredith said.
"Oh, my god," Arizona smiled.
"Oh, my goodness. Well, congratulations," Callie said happily.
"Congratulations," Erin said genuinely.
"Well, cheers," Callie held up her glass. They all held theirs up, Meredith holding up her water.
"Cheers," they echoed.
"Wait, you knew?" Arizona looked at Erin. Erin snorted.
"Of course I knew," she said.
"Do you have some baby radar or something?" Callie asked.
"She must have. It's a baby thing. Babies can detect other babies," Cristina said. Erin smiled at Meredith.
"It's something like that, yeah," she said.
Erin woke up to Arizona jerking up in bed. She blinked a few times, registering the fact that she could hear Arizona whining in what sounded like pain.
Erin reached out and grabbed Arizona's hand tiredly.
"Phantom leg pains?" she mumbled.
"It's fine," Arizona said.
"I read something. You pretend you're at the beach and you push each wave back with your mind. It's meant to imitate pushing the pain away and tricks the brain into forgetting about the pain," Erin said.
"I just want to go back to sleep," Arizona said, lying back down. Erin nodded and squeezed her hand.
"We'll look at it later. I love you," she yawned.
"I love you," Arizona whispered, kissing Erin's cheek before rolling so their backs were against each other.
"Okay, folks. Let's just start," Owen said, stepping out of the office in the lobby to face the attendings. "As many of you know, Seattle Grace Mercy West has suffered a financial setback. The administration is working hard to keep the impact of that setback as small as possible. To that end, we're gonna have to initiate some cost-cutting measures. The board has hired a physician advisor to help," he said.
"What's a physician advisor?" Meredith asked.
"Well, she consults on maximizing efficiency, streamlining processes, assessing where we can trim our budgets," Owen said.
"Who to fire and when to fire them?" Bailey said.
"She's here to advise and to help. I was hoping to introduce her in person, but she seems to be late," Owen said.
"Oh, on her first day? Not very efficient," Cristina said. A few people laughed and Erin cracked a smile.
"You can expect to see her in the halls, in your labs, in the OR," Owen said.
"So, we're gonna have an accountant following us around the ORs?" Derek asked.
"She's not an accountant. She is a trained surgeon. Frankly, she is here to try to help us," Owen said flatly.
"Oh, okay. Help us. Right," Cristina mumbled.
"Thank you for your cooperation," Owen said.
"Hey, this physician adviser might scrap the African program," Alex grabbed Erin in the hallway.
"What?" Erin looked at him.
"Flying kids across the country for pro-bono surgery. She's gonna cut it," he said.
"No, she won't," Erin said. "And if she does, I'll put my hand in my pocket and pay for it myself," she said. He raised his eyebrows. "Alex, don't give me that look. We went after the insurance, not the hospital. We didn't know this was going to happen and I'm not going to let those kids suffer. If I have to pay for it myself, I will. Stop giving me that look," Erin said.
"I just don't want it to stop," he said.
"And it won't," Erin said. "I'll fix it," she said.
"You sure?" Alex raised his eyebrows again.
"Stop giving me that goddamn look like I'm gonna crap out. Your freakin' Africa program isn't going to die because my sister did," Erin snapped, storming down the hallway.
"That isn't what I meant!" Alex called after her.
"I know!" Erin said, turning back around. "I know and I'm sorry," she said. Alex frowned, walking down the hallway towards her.
"What's wrong?" he asked. Erin shook her head, feeling tears well in her eyes.
"Nothing," she said.
"Erin?" he sighed. She rubbed her face.
"I thought I'd feel different when it's over but I don't. It's over, I have fifteen million dollars but Lexie is still dead. Mark is still dead. This money won't bring them back and I still feel so shitty. I'm getting married, Meredith is having a baby, we're all moving on but they're dead," Erin said.
"I know," Alex said, pulling her into a hug. "I'm sorry for being a dick. It's not your fault," he said.
"It's okay," Erin said. "I'm just being silly. I've been really emotional today. It's stupid," Erin said.
"Are you sick or something?" he asked.
"No. I came on this morning. That's probably why," Erin smiled, pulling back from him and wiping her cheeks. "I'm just sad. You never get used to losing somebody," Erin said.
"I know," Alex said, kissing her forehead. "How about a surgery to cheer you up? There's an emergency appy in the pit," he said.
"Oh, yeah. That'll do the trick," Erin smiled. "Thank you," Erin said, heading down the hallway to the pit.
"Zona, are you okay?" Erin whispered as she, Arizona, Alex and Cristina operated on one of the African kids.
"Yeah," Arizona whispered back. Erin raised an eyebrow, watching as her leg jerked again. Her leg pains were back. Erin looked into the gallery, seeing Owen was stood there with Cahill.
Arizona stepped over to the cooler, knocking the vase off it accidentally. Erin looked at her with wide eyes, unable to move because she was holding instruments in place for Cristina to work on a tiny heart.
"Robbins," Owen's voice came over the speaker. "Try to picture the waves," he said.
"I'm trying," Arizona muttered, walking back to the table. Erin leaned slightly to her side to show silent support. "These are tsunami-force waves, Owen," Arizona groaned.
"Look, you should go. I'll take over," Alex said.
"No one is moving. I'm stripping the endocardium from the papillary muscle. I screw this up, I'll have to replace the mitral valve, so don't move," Cristina warned them.
"I can switch out-" Alex started.
"Just shut up. I'm at the beach," Arizona shook her head.
"I have to switch," Arizona breathed five minutes later.
"Nobody is switching. You're holding the mitral valve, so don't move," Cristina said.
"What's wrong? Are you sick?" Alex asked.
"Erin, take that scalpel-" Arizona started.
"What? What are you doing?" Cristina asked.
"And stab me in the foot," Arizona continued.
"What?" Alex and Cristina said. Erin nodded.
"Scalpel," she held her hand out.
"My prosthetic. Stab me," Arizona said.
"What is wrong with you?" Alex said.
"Dr. Grey, I am the chief of surgery. This is an order. Stab Dr. Robbins in the foot right now," Owen said over the intercom.
"I'm stabbing her, Owen, chill out!" Erin said, crouching and stabbing Arizona in the foot. She stood up, moving back so Arizona had room to see her foot. "That better?" Erin said. Arizona looked up at her, smiling under her mask.
"That's better," she nodded. Erin smiled.
"You want me to swap out?" she asked.
"I'm okay now," Arizona said. "Just needed to know it wasn't there," she said.
"Well, I can always stab you if you need it," Erin said. Arizona smiled at her fiancée.
"Thank you, baby Grey," she said.
"Alright, welcome. Welcome, everyone. Thank you so much for coming. It has been a privilege to watch you work, and I am so impressed with what I've seen," Cahill said as everybody filed into the conference room. "Dr. Karev's pediatric African exchange program-"
"You cannot cut that program," Cristina said, jumping to her feet. "I'm sorry, but these children, these little orphans, we are the only hope they have. Many of them have rare disorders that most western doctors rarely have the opportunity to treat. And if you stop the program, I will never get that chance again. They. They will never get that chance, the precious children," Cristina said. Erin smirked slightly.
"I have no intention of cutting it," Cahill said.
"Super," Cristina said, sitting back down slowly.
"It's a no-brainer from a PR standpoint. That kind of positive visibility is gold. However, there will have to be some cuts. And I'm going to suggest one that is going to seem surprising at first, but that addresses fiduciary concerns with nominal impact on the core facility and the human and physical resources," Cahill said.
"Oh, I'm sorry. What?" Jackson asked.
"Uh, yeah. I'm out," Bailey said.
"I am proposing that we close your ER," Cahill said.
"What?" Meredith said.
"We're a level 1 trauma center," Owen said.
"We're a hospital," Richard said.
"In the last three days, your ER went from being in shambles to peak efficiency," Cahill said.
"Well, then why would you propose cutting it?" April asked.
"This allowed me to see that in either case, it's not bringing in the money," Cahill said.
"It's bringing in the patients," Owen said.
"Over half of whom are non-emergent, under-insured, and belong in a primary care physician's office. You have surgical interns in there doing chest exams. It's hemorrhaging resources. Look, I know these cuts are going to be painful. But understand that I am trying to keep your hospital doors open," Cahill said.
"This is ridiculous. You can't close the ER. You went to med school. You have to ask yourself-" Derek started.
"Do you have a better idea? Because the way I see it, this woman is trying to keep the hospital from closing, in-in which case there'd be no patients, we'd have no jobs, and some of us don't have a few million to fall back on. So, unless you have a better idea, why don't you just sit there and listen to what she has to say?" Bailey said, giving Derek a look that told him to back down. Erin's mouth dropped open slightly in shock.
"Alright. So, the other proposals include a review of ICU, step-down closures with a reorganization of post-op care," Cahill continued.
Erin's pager beeped and everybody looked at her. She pulled it out and sighed.
"I have to go," she said.
"Is it an emergency?" Cahill asked.
"One of my patients is spitting up blood so yeah, it is," Erin rolled her eyes, leaving the conference room before Cahill could say anything else.