Again, if y'all attack Kaine, I'll cut your now existing dicks off-
Me- you are my sunshine!! my only sunshine
Me- you make me HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYY!!! When skies are gayyyy
Me- gray** fuck
Me- You'll never know dear, how much I really like you
Me- please don't take my sunshine away!!
Me- Good morning my pretty sunshine!!
Percy waited paitently for his boyfriend to respond, shaking the medication bottle. A dozen spilled out into his hands accidentally. His mood dropped instantly.
Just the thought of swallowing them all flooded his mind. What they'd do. How it'd effect him.
Would it kill me?
That doesn't seem so bad.
The ding of Percy's phone interrupted his thoughts. He grumbles softly and but kept the pills in his hand.
Sore-Eye🌞- You're so adorable. Good morning Bee!! How are you today?
Percy's thumb hovered over, he began typing out words but deleted them before sending.
I was okay but now I'm shitty.
I can't send that.
I'm fine.
That sounds agressive.
Me: I'm doing okay. How are you???
"Want some eggs?"
Percy's eyes adverted from his phone over to Kaine, who was walking towards the fridge. The blondes eyes switched down to the pills, the numerous pills in his hand.
It was hard to believe his life was in his hands. Stop. Put them away, dumbass.
"No thanks."
Kaine grabbed the egg carton from the fridge, glancing over at Percy. His eyes landed on the pills still in his hands.
"Percy, put those away..."
"I didn't mean to pour them all, I got distracted."
The dirty blonde tilted his hands and put all the pills back, taking one. And one only.
Sore-Eye🌞- You sure everything okay? Are you busy today?
Percy wish he wasn't busy today. He had a fucking weigh in and the last time he had one the doctor threatened, no, fucking promised that he'd have to go to the hospital if his weight and vitals didn't improve.
Everything was low, calcium, iron, vitamin A,B,C to Z,Y,Z. His weight was almost as low as it was when he left the hospital, which was still fairly low, but kept him stable.
He knew it didn't change. His weight was either than same or lower. Bruises from just lightly bumping into the counter were appearing.
Hair was falling, he avoided brushing it, touching it, washing it. Which was disgusting, fucking gross to him, Percy wondered how he had such a perfect boyfriend.
Me- I'm okay :) I have a doctor's appointment soon :/ I can call you later tho, if that's okay❤️
"Do you want something else then? You have weigh in today...and I'm worried about you, Percy..."
The boy didn't know what got over him. He felt angry and annoyed. He was so fucking tired of people worrying about him, so fucking tired of pills, so fucking tired if vitamins, so fucking tired of staying alive!
"I don't care about the fucking weigh-in."
Kaine blinks at the bitterness in his brother's tone. It only upset him though. "Well you should fucking care because it determines if you get thrown into the hospital again!"
Percy knew it was true, they both fucking did. "No it's not! Mind your own business!"
"You're my brother! I fucking care about you and don't want to see you suffering in a hospital bed again!"
Percy swallows thickly, tears pooling in his eyes. He couldn't take his brother yelling at him, he felt sick. "Kaine-"
"You don't want to be dying in a hospital bed again." The older boy inhaled a deep breath to calm himself, for both of their sakes. He didn't want to make Percy cry. "You're strong, Percy, and you can't lose yourself. Okay?"
The dirty blonde was silent, his mind began to run.
I don't want to go to the hospital again. That was awful.
I don't even care anymore though.
How are you gonna tell Sorin you're in the hospital for weeks and weeks?
I don't care.
You should fucking care!
God I wish I took those pills.
"Okay." The boy whispered, sounding like a sad, kicked puppy. He felt like one too.
"Let me make you breakfast, Percy, take your vitamins..." The blonde nodded again, grabbing the multiple bottles.
Breakfast was hard. It was hard to keep Percy distracted. And even when he was distracted, he didn't eat. He listened and stalled.
Percy felt like he hasn't eaten a proper breakfast in so long.
~
Percy fumble with his phone, his hands shakey. He wiped the tears from his eyes, the tears that were cold from the weather.
His cheeks were already splotchy and rosy, his nose red. The coldness didn't help.
After clicking a button, Percy held the phone to his ear, reaching into his pocket for the white stick and lighter.
He pressed the phone between his shoulder and ear, swiping his finger down on the gear. A flame popped up, the wind blowing it out.
Percy grumbles and harshly ran his finger down, placing the end of the stick at the temporary flame.
"Hey, Percy, what's up?"
Percy sucks in the stick, his breath coming out calmer. His tongue tingled from the hot smoke drowning it.
"I need to talk to you about something... Somethings."
Sorin furrows his brows, the line made him uneasy and worried. "Am I... Doing anything wrong?"
Percy quickly shook his head, even though the blonde couldn't see. "I'm not breaking up with you or anything, don't worry." Sorin let's out a small sigh in relief. "Are you busy?"
"No, not at all, what's up?"
Percy sucked on the stick, the wind blew, the smoke came back to his face. He cringed as his eyes and nose burned slightly.
"It's a lot...that I want to talk about..." Percy quickly corrected himself. "Well, need, to talk about..."
Sorin nodded, sitting down on his bed. Cupid climbed up onto the bed gracefully, laying her head in his lap.
"Whenever you're ready, go ahead. I'm listening."
After inhaling one more breathe of nicotine, Percy spilled.
He told Sorin everything. Everything.
He told him about his ex and how horrible he was. He told him every single thing he did, which was so hard.
He told him about how bad his eating got and why. And how he went to the hospital. How he was recovering but fell back into his old ways.
He told him about his cutting and how it started. How for the few months between the months of March to end end of May last year, his cutting got worse after the breakup but before the hospital.
He told him about his suidical tendencies. How the thoughts have been more recent lately.
Sorin didn't say a single word as Percy spoke. He tried not to start sobbing at the information that seemed to have worsened as Percy went on. He just quietly cried, Cupid licking his salty tears.
After everything was spilt out, Percy felt better. Even though he still had one more thing to tell Sorin, he felt much better.
"So... Yeah." Percy threw what was probably his third or fourth cigarette down, stomping on it to put it out completely. "Sorry it was a lot..."
Sorin opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He was still processing every single word, his heart was aching. His stomach dropped more in the conversation then it would going on a loopty loop rollercoaster a million times.
"Are you mad at me...?" Percy whispered, the silence concerning him. Oh gosh I knew this wasn't a good idea, he hates me now.
Sorin let out a breath, "why would I be mad at you, Percy?"
Percy tried to figure out how to phrase the handful of similar thoughts running through his head. He didn't want to seek dramatic, or blunt, or dumb. "I don't know...because I didn't tell you sooner? Because I've done stuff before? I just want to know if you're mad."
"Percy, I'm not mad at you, at all." Sorin softly assured, still wrapping his head around everything. "And why would I be mad about stuff you were forced to do? Well, I'm mad, I'm fucking furious, I want to fucking kill that guy."
Percy shuddered at the harshness of Sorin's tone. It was deadly, agressive, and... Terrifying. He sounded as if he could murder someone.
"He's rotting jail, if that makes you feel any better." Why the fuck would that make him feel any better?
Sorin didn't even know what to say. So many thoughts and emotions were going through him. He wish he could hold Percy forever, so he was safe and happy.
"There's another thing..."
Sorin wasn't sure if he was ready to hear another thing. He hoped it wasn't worse than what was already told to him. "What is it?"
The dirty blonde was quiet. He squeezed his eyes shut, a never ending amount of tears falling.
"You know how I had that doctor appointment today?" Sorin hums softly, his heart was pounding. Everything was spinning, he didn't want anything to be wrong. "Well, it was a weigh-in...and to check my vitals and all the vitamins I'm deficient in..."
Sorin nodded, waiting for Percy to continue. He hoped it was good news, that everything was okay...but based on what Percy told him a while ago about his eating, he had little faith.
"Long story short, I have to go back to the hospital tomorrow morning..."
Fucking shit guys I've been having horrible ✨tummy troubles✨ for the past few days... Like my stomach will cramp really badly and I always feel really warm and it's fucking awful-
I've been so numb and shitty lately...I can't sleep at all and everything is just... nothing.
And I've been on the verge of just...giving up multiple times this week... God I just want to fucking sleep and escape everything.
I've been ignoring most everyone. There's a few friends of mine that have been on delivered for days nows...some hours... I just want to shut everyone out and I'm trying but I also think it's mean...
Anyways, hope y'all are enjoying or whatever. Don't forget to vote, comment, what ever the fuck you want, I don't even care.
I feel like I ruined this book or something...
~whoops