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I'm her pacifier
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Harry Styles
Harlow's drunk and forced me into doing shots with her, so there goes me being the taxi driver. That was all I took tonight, three vodka shots but I'm not risking driving her home because with my luck I'll get arrested or some shit.
It was actually really enjoyable to see her not look so stressed and her doing shots with random people who she knew because they're 'regulars'. Everybody in this place seems to love her and I don't blame them, she's just got that natural happiness about her.
Although now her club is closing and she's still in the corner trying to tidy up empty glasses. I didn't get to see her much tonight, I couldn't really take my eyes off of her but she was busy getting other people drinks so we didn't spend much time together tonight. Maybe now's my chance though, now that there's only my guys and her staff in the club, they're too high to make sense of what I'm doing anyway.
As I'm making my way over to Harlow I thought about giving her a scare, it's funny when she's all jumpy however she turned around and caught me before I had the chance. That smile on her face is the same devilish one she wore as she hopped out my car when we arrived after completely rejecting me.
My poor ego.
"Harry! Where've you been?" She smiles, almost as if she was actually happy to see me.
She's too sweet.
"I've been watching you get wasted. So how about we put this down, and we take you home?" I chuckled back at her, stealing the two glasses of god knows what from her hands.
Her drunken eyes are staring straight into mine and her lips forming into a smirk. It's almost as if she likes the authority but I'm really trying not to be super turned on right now so that's a thought I'll keep to myself.
"How about we dance, I love this song." She suggests as 'It's not living if it's not with you' begins to play. "I know you listen to The 1975 Harry." Whispers Harlow as if it was some big secret that I do in fact know the songs that's playing.
What is she doing to me?
She's like some drunken angel who's been sent from the heavens and I'm genuinely so confused as to how she has me feeling so weird. I've had many drunk women try to get me to dance, but I don't dance.
However I did dance with Harlow in her kitchen and I am dancing with her right now.
In the corner the boys are probably sniffing multiple lines of coke up their noses, however I haven't dared to touch one bag on their stuff because my new addiction has become none other than my own little Birdy.
Her arms are loosely thrown around my neck, mine around her lips as she forces me to dance with her in this club emptied of other visitors to The 1975.
"And all I do is sit and think about you
If I knew what you'd do
Collapse my veins, wearing beautiful shoes
It's not living, if it's not with you
All I do is sit and drink without you
If I choose, then I lose
Distract my brain from the terrible news
It's not living, if it's not with you"
The lyrics seem to be far too fitting, and with a girl standing in front of me who's dancing around like the most carefree little creature in the world, I'm starting to think I might actually be starting to feel certain things towards her.
All I do is sit and think about her and all she does is distract my brain from the terrible shit going on, it's almost as if Matty Healy jumped a few years into the future and decided to write a song on my behalf.
If this wasn't such a well known song, I'd definitely steal it and play it to her so she thinks I'm such a hopeless romantic, but I don't think she'll ever hear the songs I've written about her so far. Not yet anyway.
"Aren't you guys just the sweetest." Liam interrupts with a look on his face that told me he's gonna explain this all to me in the morning and tell me some stupid shit like I'm in love with her. "I'm off to Josies and the boys are getting a taxi."
"No worries ma-"
"Josie?" Harlow interrupts, dropping her arms and moving closer to Liam like she's away to interrogate him. "Does Josie work in a bank?"
I forgot she was such a friendly person.
"She used to work at your club and she-"
"Oh my goodness! I love Josie so much with my whole heart she's such a cutie. You're seeing her?" She exclaims all excitedly, not even giving Liam the chance to finish.
Liam nods his head and immediately her face lights up with joy. "She deserves so much happiness," She smiles at him, to which Liam does the same however this mutual love for Josie isn't something I can share unfortunately, she's too nosey for my liking.
Harlow saying she deserves so much happiness really did have me thinking way too deeply into that saying, of hers. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad liams happy and I'm glad Harlow's friend being happy makes her happy too, but Harlow deserves happiness too.
She deserves far more than just happiness.
She deserves the world and all I can give her is a world of violence and fear.
Not that she'd allow me to give her the world anyway, she's way too out of my league and I don't do real relationships.
"You know what Liam, take a bottle of champagne and go to Josie and tell her I said hi and that she has to come back here and that I miss her." Harlow tells him with one hand on his shoulder like that's her given him the best advice ever.
It really is hard not to laugh at the fact she's slurring on her words yet speaking so confidently.
"Goodbye Liam." I interrupt before Harlow ends up going home with him to see her friend and not coming with me because I like her company and I don't care that Liam has a girlfriend, she's a very likeable person so she might sway him.
That wouldn't be good for our fake relationship, people might get the wrong idea of course.
"Bye Liam!" Harlow adds, waving him out the door with a grin before swivelling back round to face me. "Let's have a drink."
Christ.
"Home time birdy, you don't want to turn into that annoying boss that has her staff cleaning up after her now do you?" I tell her in the hopes she'll hurry up and leave before she wakes out tomorrow with a deadly hangover.
Immediately her face forms into a pout and she looks really worried. I probably shouldn't have said that to somebody who prides themselves on being a nice person...
"Do people think that of me? That I'm-"
"Nobody thinks that of you, now come on." I interrupt through a slight laugh of my own.
The smart idea probably would've been to phone a taxi and have it waiting for us, but my mind was too consumed with thoughts of her that I couldn't even think to do the basics. So we've settled for a walk to the taxi rank round the corner which is only five minutes away, however I'm starting to think it might take longer than five minutes with Harlow.
And I was right.
So far we've made it maybe three metres out of the club and she's already stopped for two minutes to tell me how pretty the sky looks.
The sky does look pretty, but she looks prettier.
"Stop staring at me." She sighs dramatically.
"Darlin' you're stopped in the middle of the pavement staring at the sky, I'm waiting for you to start walking again." I laugh back at her.
Thankfully with a slight huff and angry stare, she decides to start walking again. Her heels are making that noise on the pavement and I'm starting to wonder how she's been wearing those for so long. They look fucking lethal, one kick and you're dead.
Maybe not dead, but you get the point.
They make her look so bad ass. If I didn't know she was a little 'modern day hippy' as I like to call her, then she'd definitely intimidate me. Aside from the fact she has kindness radiating off of her, she's actually somebody you wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of. I don't see why you'd want to do somebody so sweet so wrong anyway.
"Come on speedy, almost there." I shout over my shoulder to Harlow who's waddling along like a zombie.
We probably should've taken jackets because Harlows shivering so much that she looks like her arms are gonna fall off. Never once did I picture myself walking through the city with a drunk girl trailing along behind me, but here we are.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I probably shouldn't leave her walking along by herself because one, she's freezing and two, some men really are disgusting.
What would Liam do if it was Josie? Probably say he loves her a million times and be all gross - you won't catch me doing that.
Although realistically, he'd probably walk with her and try to keep her warm. So that's what I'll do. Not because she's my girlfriend, because she's somebody I care about and I don't like seeing the people I care about walk around looking like they're about to freeze to death.
As soon as she's close enough I swing an arm around her shoulders and pull her in closer to me so that the warmth from both our bodies will hopefully generate some heat into her. Surprisingly, she rests her head on my shoulder and finally begins to walk at my pace.
"We should walk the whole way home." She suggests hopefully.
"It's taken ten minutes to walk to the corner of the taxi rank, we're getting a taxi." I chuckle back as we're finally approaching a taxi.
When we do reach the taxi, Harlow barely makes it in without breaking one of her ankles which was a struggle and a half. I told the taxi her address and once he started driving, Harlow leaned across to rest against me so involuntarily my arm snuck around her to keep her there.
So she's one of those drunks who get all timid and clingy by the end of the night, I never expected that from her but I'm not complaining. I've never experienced this with somebody so I don't know if I'm doing this right, but I like this.
"I like this ring." She says, lifting up my hand and pointing to the ring on my index finger, the ring made from an old guitar string that snapped. "It's very 'I play guitar of you'"
"Made it myself." I tell her pridefully, surprised she even recognised that it was a guitar string.
"Ça te va" She smiles, placing her hand into mine as the french fell from her lips so casually. "It suits you."
Birdy read my mind.
I appreciate the translation this time, usually I'm just left guessing whether she's insulting me or not. The fact she speaks fluent french is so interesting, she's definitely the coolest girl I've met.
Then again, I don't really take time to get to know much women.
When the taxi came to a halt Harlow was reaching into her purse for money but judging by her current state of mind, I don't think she could count out £24 if she tried. I don't mind paying either, it makes me feel like I'm doing something nice for a change, so I handed the driver £30 and that was it.
"Harry, why would you do that?" Groans Harlow as I'm stepping out the car.
Sounds like somebody could use a good few hours of sleep.
I can spot a hangover when I see one and I'm pretty sure she'll wake up with a very angry one judging by her state right now. Luckily for her, she made me pack enough to stay overnight so she'll have a guy who's grown immune to hangovers to help her through it.
"Because I did, c'mon." I reach my hands out for her to grab and thankfully she does.
Seems like birdys too tired for arguments tonight.
Once she's out of the taxi she hands me the key to her house and instead of letting go of me like I thought she would, she links her hand back with mine followed by a timid smile. I genuinely had to stop myself from kissing her because I can't tell whether I'm drunk or somebody spiked me, because the way I'm looking at Harlow has changed drastically.
When we make it inside her cat comes running to the door and Harlow picks her up like she's a child. This cat really is like a child to her, I've seen the way she talks to her. It's cute though, very wholesome.
Upstairs we go, followed by a very beautiful grey cat and Harlow flops down on the bed the second she's close enough to do so without any injuries.
"Harlow you need to get out of those clothes, love." I laugh, pinching the top,of my nose because no matter how frustrating this might be, it's hilarious.
"Fine. Give me a break." She scoffs, wandering off to the bathroom quicker than I could even blink.
How the fuck did she go from flopped down on the bed to literally sprinting to the bathroom? Strange birdy.
I don't think I'llever understand her, but I'd like to try. She makes me feel a certain way I never have before and she still manages to do that drunk. I don't look at her and see Harlow Dean, I look at her and I see somebody who has a lot going on behind the curtains, yet I'm still so fascinated by the things I'm yet to learn.
Something tells me I'm gonna have to admit to my mistakes soon, before it's too late.
I don't know whether she'll want me to sleep in clothes tonight or not. The last few times this happened I wore boxers and she didn't seem to mind, but I don't want to scare her or anything. Unfortunately I don't own a set of pyjamas though, so boxers will have to do.
Coincidentally the second I sat myself under the covers Harlow appeared at her bathroom door with a bare face, wearing an Elton John T-shirt and pair of green football shorts. She looked so beautiful earlier when she was all dressed up and watching her do her makeup was like watching art being made, however right now I still think she looks stunning.
For some reason when she joined me in her bed, it was an instinct reaction for me to hold out an arm so she could lie next to me and I don't know why it was, because I've never done this before.
But when she fit herself in with her head on my bare chest, under my arm, I felt some sort of rush I never have before.
"You're a good person Harry, a lot of guys would take advantage of me right now because I'm drunk." She sighs, her dainty fingers tracing the outline of my butterfly tattoo.
I don't know why that gave me a heavy heart, but it did. She just glossed over that like it was nothing and it's really shit how normalised it is for guys to take advantage of drunk girls, to the point where in a situation where that isn't happening, the girl is praising the guy.
I hate that.
"That doesn't make me a good person, Harlow, it makes me normal." I tell her.
When Harlow doesn't give me a response I just assume that she's fallen asleep, however she's still tracing round my butterfly tattoo with her fingers so maybe she just doesn't wanna talk. That's valid, she did have a lot to drink tonight.
Even now that she's in bed covered by a duvet and lying against me she's still shivering away, which leads me to pull her in just that little bit closer.
Her fingertips stopped drawing a butterfly on my stomach and her breathing became heavier, letting me know that birdy is now fast asleep. Not only is she asleep, but she's asleep in my arms.
Just the feeling of her head against my chest was giving me that strange rush, then she started to draw around my tattoos which genuinely could've sent me to sleep right there and then. This is a first tie thing for me and this is a feeling I could become addicted to, she is a drug.
I brush the hair off of her forehead before bringing my lips down to plant a gentle kiss in her hairline. I'm not sure if that's weird or if it's not what people do, but it's what felt right and I swear it happened without me even thinking about it.
"goodnight birdy." I whisper.
"my birdy."