Dazai didn't linger at Chuuya's apartment for too long after the events, the boss had sent Kouyou and her underlings to watch after Chuuya for the week. (He could have just as easily sent a nurse or even left the Chibi alone, but Dazai imagined that Kouyou had put up a fight to see him. They were very close, those two.)
Though that left one problem, the cat. When Dazai was in the act of shoving it into the small cabinet under the sink to hide it from the older executive, he turned to see Chuuya leaning heavily against the doorway, an unimpressed look in his fever hazed eyes.
"What do you think you're doing?" His voice sounded like it belonged to a chain smoker.
"Eh.." Dazai sat up from his crouched position, bumping his head against the cabinet on his way up. He rubbed the back of his head, mentally cursing the cat that had yowled, tumbling out of the hiding place. "Hiding your animal?"
"And why's th-" Chuuya broke off the sentence to cough into the sleeve of his sweater, it was one of those chest-rattling coughs that sounded absolutely disgusting.
Dazai scrunched up his nose, "Gross."
Once Chuuya recovered from his coughing fit he leveled Dazai with a reprimanding look. "The cat, Dazai."
Dazai rolled his eyes, nudging the thing with his foot closer to Chuuya for the redhead to pick it up. "I called in sick for you, you're welcome, by the way."
"Yeah, whatever."
"But it seems that unfortunately I must return to work and go on the next mission all by myself and even fill out the reports."
Chuuya stared at him blankly "That's the job description. What does that have to do with you trying to... hide my cat?"
"Well if i'm not here to graciously look after you then who do you think will?"
Chuuya sniffled "I don't need anyone to 'look after' me-" Then the information processed, and his face turned a little green.
He promptly turned to the toilet to throw up.
"Right... Well, Ane-san should be here soon and she will not be amused to know that you allowed this demon into your living quarters."
It took a full minute for Chuuya to regain his motor functions and return to his feet, but when he did he looked slightly shaken, but with an idea in mind.
Dazai already knew what he was about to suggest and it was a definite 'no.' No way in hell would he watch the demon. Chuuya was the reason he had gotten into the situation, he should be the one to get himself out of it.
"No Chibi, I will not watch your hellspawn."
Chuuya looked up to him with defiant eyes, though the intimidation factor was drowned out by his obviously sickly state and his crippling shortness. "What do you mean 'your,' She's your cat too, you know."
Dazai was quick to deny that accusation "I do not recall ever claiming that."
"You didn't have to. We found her together, in fact, you were the one who knew where she even was. Take responsibility because I am not going to be the only one taking care of her."
Dazai stared down at Chuuya for a full minute, locking gazes with the fuming redhead. Dazai couldn't tell if his face was red from anger or the fever (possibly both) and the only reason Chuuya was standing right now was because his pride demanded it of his sore body.
Dazai sighed in defeat.
And that was how he ended up with the cat hidden under the folds of his coat as he inconspicuously walked past Kouyou down the hallway.
——-
The mission Dazai was sent out on was rather difficult. While it was a hindrance to not have Chuuya simply use his ability to destroy the enemy base, the task was not impossible. It was a tedious three days of studying the tight security before weaseling his way in and planting a bomb.
Of course, Dazai could not bring the kitten on the mission with him no matter how easy it would be to leave it in the charred ruins of the building to fend for itself.
Instead, he had called for a meeting with Odasaku and Ango as per usual when he was going to depart for a few days on a mission. (Just for the last drink in case they were to never see eachother again, though they never vocalized it during their meetings. It was their escape from the Mafia setting.)
All was the same, the dim lighting of the bar and the three vacant seats waiting for them. Well, except for the unwelcome presence of the furball in his arms.
Ango had the audacity to actually laugh out loud when he spotted Dazai walk into the bar, probably looking as grumpy as the cat he was now holding as far away as possible from himself.
Oda raised an eyebrow, reaching out to take the cat and examine it. The thing practically melted in his hold, purring and rubbing against his palms. Stupid cat. "What's this about?"
Dazai took his seat in between the two, a drink was immediately placed down in front of him. "That thing is a creature from hell trying to sabotage me and waste all of the Chibi's time and energy."
Oda pointedly raised a finger to halt his sentence, taking a long drink from his glass before setting it down. It seems that he always needed to be at least a bit intoxicated every time Dazai bought Chuuya into the conversation, as he always downed a whole glass.
"Sorry, maybe try rephrasing that?" Ango asked "I mean, your opinion can't be too reliable, the cat looks pretty harmless."
As if to prove Ango's point, the kitten settled down into Oda's lap, dozing off to the relaxing atmosphere of the relatively silent bar.
Dazai was going to pluck that thing right from Oda's lap and throw it into Yokohama bay.
"Nope, there's a demon in that little body, its demon powers are just dormant for now." Dazai took a sip from his own drink before continuing. "Me and the slug were on our way back to headquarters when we found that thing, in a trash can, by the way. It could have rabies or something."
Sadly, Oda did not throw the thing to the floor.
"Chuuya insisted that he takes it back to his place-"
"..Isn't there a 'no pets' rule for the Mafia apartments?"
Dazai waved Ango off "Yes but that's not the point. Chuuya got sick and demanded that I watch it, falsely accusing me of being the other parent since I found it with him."
"Well first off, does..." Ango glanced down at the cat "Does she have a name?"
"No, but that doesn't matter. It seems I have been thrust into the position of an unwilling Father."
Oda's empty glass was replaced with a full one, and he chugged that one down too. He was really on a roll tonight. Then he turned to Dazai, an unholy glint in his eyes. "Welcome to the life of parenting. You'll have to bond-"
"Ah, the parenting talk is not necessary, thank you Odasaku."
Oda visibly relaxed at Dazai's words, setting the drink down. Was he trying to acquire liquid courage for that talk? Just as he had done for the Chuuya conversation?
Odasaku really deserved a vacation or two with the amount of 'talks' he had brought upon himself to have with Dazai. Maybe he would get him a gift card or something.
"So what are you going to do with her?" Ango looked way too amused to be appropriate for the situation. "Aren't you going on a mission? I'm sure you can borrow one of those baby backpacks to carry her around in from Odasaku."
Oda turned back to his drink, "I am going to pretend I didn't hear that."
"No I will not take it with me, it will get in my way-"
"She, Dazai. Not 'it.'"
"Anyways" Dazai waved Oda off "the reason I called this meeting was to transfer the responsibility to one of you. Who will it be?"
Seeing as Ango refused to raise his hand, after a few moments Oda volunteered. "Fine, I'll watch her for a few days, but in return, you have to promise me something."
"Sure."
"Make a list of names for her and talk over them with Chuuya, help out at least a little, it can't be easy for him to co-own an animal with you."
Dazai decided to ignore the blatant insult, leaving the bar that night catless and with a satisfied smirk on his face.