IM SORRY FOR NOT PUBLISHING
I'm on a road trip and decided to get my shit together sooooo yeah! PARDON ME IF IT'S NOT AN ACCURATE DEPICTION IM VERY AWARE BUT MANY ALTERATIONS TO THIS ARE NECESSARY FOR THE PLOT
-John's pov-
Therapy!? Do I need therapy?! Haha no. That's just their nice way of saying you're insane. They're gonna lock you up in a cage and examine you from every single angle. They'll rip apart your brain and study it piece by piece all for not being able to SUCK IT UP. Just let me do my job and SHUT THE FUCK UP.
I attempted to sleep but any attempt was useless a feeling of frustration clouded my head and it wouldn't let me take a break. My breathing hitched and became quite rapid
I turned to the right to see Blyke sound asleep. Rather loudly I left the room heading to the rooftop. I crept towards the ledge and sat on it. Before me, there was a vast sky of stars which I gazed at almost entranced. Watching the various constellations my breathing slowed to a calm level.
For the first time in ages my head felt...
Well, empty.
However, that emptiness didn't last very long.
The thoughts returned but this time they were different it wasn't the monster it was my own.
I don't need therapy.
That's for people who are sick, I'm not sick I'm fine I can handle it. I've got this under control don't I. Either way I don't deserve to "get better" What if I disappoint everyone. What if they expect me to just "get better" and I don't what if this is the "real" me. What if I'm making up excuses and none of "IT" is real. What if it's just an illusion I created in my head an excuse to do all these horrible things. It could all just be a lie I made up... who knows. Yeah, that's it. These friends don't deserve me all I do is hurt them. My best bet is to go away so they don't get hurt again.
I slid closer to the edge my feet dangling off. I heard footsteps behind me and then felt a hand on my shoulder I didn't quite know who it was yet but their touch was gentle pulling me out of my thoughts so I leaned closer to it.
"John. How about you get down and we have a little talk." Their voice said gently. I nodded complying and they helped me get down. Her arm wrapped around me and we sat on the roof silently. I turned around to see who was comforting me. Remi kept her arm wrapped around me.
I plopped my head back down. "Thanks," I'm muttered.
"Yeah, no problem." She responded her breath shaking slightly. "So... what were you doing up there?" Remi's voice hitched nervously.
"It's not what you think. I was just tryna get a better look at the stars and calm down I just spaced out a bit." I explained realizing what she was implying.
"Ohhhh ok!" She sighed in relief. I gazed into her eyes.
"I'm just a little startled.... by everything." John lied.
"Yeah I could imagine-" Remi was quickly cut off by John.
"No." He responded
"What do you mean no?" She tilted her head confused.
"I mean you couldn't imagine. You don't know what it is like. What it is like to have this completely different person in your head trying to convince you that they're just you and everything in your being telling you that you are just making up excuses... You don't need therapy, you're just a bad person." John ranted his voice rising in desperation.
Remi frowned at that
"Sh. Hey. Hey, it's okay I got you. John, you're not a bad person. You just have a conflict inside of you right now and you've got this." She spoke softly messing with his hair. John leaned closer to her and looked into her eyes. She did the same and he grabbed her waist. Quickly he pulled her onto him and their lips connected, the kiss continued to flow for a while until they broke apart. They looked at each other the stars glimmering in both their eyes. He put his head on her lap and she petted it. John sighed softly and fell asleep. Soon enough she did too. That night not a single nightmare plagued his sleep.
-time skip like 5 days because uh for plot's sake and I'm lazy Bob has cookies 🍪 take one :D -
John sat down in class rather calmly listening to the teacher ramble. Out of seemingly nowhere he felt a hand come down on his shoulder. Wtf?! John jumped up from his seat.
"Come with me we have to go to the principal's office." A tall man with dark gelled hair commanded.
John nodded uncertainly and the man grabbed his arm leading him to the office. The silence was rather tense causing John's heart rate to skyrocket.
"Uh, what's wrong?." John asked uncertainly the guy shrugged in response and within a minute or so they arrived at the office.
The dude knocked on the door and when the door opened he pulled John inside.
"Uh, Mr. Vaughn what am I doing here?" John asked confused. He looked at the principal perplexed... what the hell is going on.
"Oh, your therapist has arrived," Vaughn answered. John nodded and heard the door open behind him.
"Hello, John I've heard a lot about you." The person spoke. He had dark indigo hair that went down to where his neck began and bright orange eyes.
"Hello? Nice to meet ya Mr..." John paused unsure what the man's name was.
"Call me Bill. Come on let's go, you're excused from class today and to make sure you're comfortable, Vaughn is allowing me to speak to you in your dorm." He explained analyzing John's reaction.
-first person JOHNNY BOIII-
"Okay. Let's go I guess." Holy crap I didn't expect it to be this soon? Bill followed me back to the dorm and the entire way their my adrenaline skyrocketed. What if this guy thinks I'm crazy what if everyone thinks I'm just some psycho!?
I shook my head and realized we were at the door I unlocked the door and Bill followed me in. I pulled out a chair and served him some water.
"Thanks," Bill spoke casually. I nodded my head and sat in front of him. Why the hell is this so awkward.
"Alright let's get this started. John is straight up with me here okay no need to lie." Bill slapped his hands together.
"Ok. So how long have you been having these thoughts or 'out of control attacks' I've heard about." He asked looking at me trying to read my reactions. I looked at him intimidatingly and shrugged.
"Since I first got my powers. The more I used it the more it controlled me till I went to... therapy." I elaborated, I tried to read his response but his face just remained serious.
"Hm, and when you're out of control how does it feel do you know what you're doing or...?" Mid question I interrupted him and started to explain.
"It kinda feels... it feels like there is this current that pulls me down, slowly and painfully I can try to fight it and at times I'll win the battle, but sometimes it gets so strong.... so strong I can't fight it and it just sinks me under and as soon as it does I see darkness, and what feels like seconds later I'll wake up when it has actually been hours or minutes." I rambled clearly frustrated
"Yeah. Ok ok. So I have a diagnosis I believe, I just need you to fill out this paper." He gently placed a paper in front of me and handed me a pen. My eyes widened tenfold as I began to read the questions, almost all of them I answered often, very often, or always... there were only 2 questions I responded "sometimes" to.
He grabbed the paper when I dropped my pen. I was still shocked at how much what I was feeling coincided with what was on the sheet.
I waited a moment as he scanned my responses and nodded.
"Okay. As I expected, you have a very strong correlation with DID dissociative identity disorder, it is usually caused by traumatic events." He spoke slowly to make sure I processed it all. I nodded my head in acknowledgment.
"So... what can I do?" I mumbled my voice hushed, I never expected this. Sure I knew something was wrong but I thought it was my fault I thought it was me, I was the monster and was just making up pathetic excuses to not take responsibility for my own actions. But apparently that's not the case?
"Well we are first, going to get you on medication, see how it goes... second you're going to have to confront your other persona 'IT' how you call it... then we'll have to establish or dive deeper into the trauma that caused this in the first place," Bill explained.
"Ok ok thank you so uh is that all for today?"
I asked looking up at him. I was still a little shaken by all that was uncovered today...
"Yeah, yeah see you tomorrow," Bill waved walking out the door. I was left in shock at what had just occurred.
-BOB SAYS TIME SKIP AND BRINGs cookies 🍪- (it is thy next morning)
I rushed to class knowing yet again, I was gonna be late... I made it to class and to my surprise both Arlo and Seraphina sat next to me. I had a plan which I was going to execute in lunch... it would be a shock a lot of people but it's what must be done. I continued to think about how it would go throughout all of class and then the teacher picked on me. My eyes shifted to the board and I scrambled to answer the question.
"Umm 93 to the power of 6?" I answered with doubt, I rushed it so my calculations could've been off.
"Yes that's correct, now you all can go it's time for lunch." Ms. Vin announced. I smiled a bittersweet smile and headed to the lunchroom... of course, everyone unaware of my situation dodged me in the hallway.
I walked to the front of the cafeteria and scanned the crowd making sure everyone was there.
"HEY EVERYONE!" I yelled catching their attention. I looked at their faces stilled with fear and it brought me disappointment.... look how much chaos I've caused everyone is terrified of me... disgusting monster.
"I am here to make an announcement!" I kept my voice raised and any sort of conversation stopped the cafeteria was silent.
"I am resigning as king." Everyone's eyes widened and jaws dropped. Confusion was clear in everyone's expression but what brought about even more confusion was when I continued my statement.
"I am giving up my position and returning it to the rightful owner... Arlo." He looked at me with a sense of confusion.
"Alright, that's all everyone get back to lunch or whatever." I shrugged walking into the crowd. Arlo quickly grabbed my arm pulling on it.
"What was that?!" He asked shocked."
"That... that was me admitting that you're a better king for the school you keep them... in control," I admitted. Yet a snarl still remained at the back of my throat.
"But- Just because it's what is best doesn't mean I completely forgive you, I haven't forgotten that shit you pulled when I tried to be your friend. And also, make sure that things are fairer and people aren't being treated like crap, you don't want someone else to end up like me." My glare softened at the end.
"Don't take this as an order take it as advice.." I added.
"You've changed John." He said deadpanned.
"Thanks I guess...."
WELP TILL THE NEXT CHAPTER MY FRIENDS I THINK THERE WILL BE A FEW MOREEE