To no one's surprise, Kaz was pissed that Claude had decided to sneak out with us without telling him. Pissed enough that he told Evander on us. And we were suspended. Again. This time, however, we weren't even allowed to hang out with each other.
I didn't blame Kaz for telling Evander and I wasn't upset that Evander punished us again. But I was upset because I'd thought it'd be worth it. I thought we'd find something that would help us so much that it wouldn't matter if we got in trouble or not. But that didn't happen. I'd only managed to make things worse for us.
If my sister hadn't wanted to kill Claude before, there was no doubt she wanted to now. I wasn't sure if I could convince her everything was a misunderstanding.
Was threatening my mother a misunderstanding though? The more I tried to reason and rationalize Claude's actions, the more confused I got. There was no reason he had to do that. Kieran had every right to want to defend our mother.
I groaned, falling face-first into my bed. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't anything go right? Was it me? Was I doomed to be as useless as my family said? Was this fate telling me not to go against it?
I still half-expected my father to come barging into my room and just off me.
The sudden jiggle of the door handle sent me diving under my covers. A creak announced someone entering and when I was still alive a moment later I figured it probably wasn't my father. "I don't feel like talking, Kaz," I mumbled as the mattress sunk down beside me.
"How many times will you mistake me for Kaz?"
I almost gasped. It was Claude. What the heck was he doing here? Maybe if I didn't move he would think I was asleep or dead.
"You already spoke," he said dryly. "Don't pretend to be asleep now."
Crap. I didn't think that one through. I poked my head out and saw Claude sitting on the edge of the bed, arms crossed, wearing a black turtleneck. "Why are you here?"
"You haven't left your room all day."
"How do you know that?"
"Elian told me."
"Elian?" I said, sitting up straight. "Is he out there? He's not stationed as a guard, is he? He has to still be healing—"
Claude stared out toward the balcony, lips twisting down. "He's better."
"There is no way. You're still hurting from your wounds from weeks ago. Elian was hurt just as bad, if not worse," I said, pushing the covers off me again. I had to go see Elian for myself.
"He's fine. He healed faster than me," Claude said shortly.
I paused, my bare feet hitting the carpet. "What? How?"
"Because he drank blood."
My stomach lurched and I subconsciously raised my hand to my neck to the spot where the Leecher bit me. I immediately put it back down, holding it at my side, swallowing. Elian drinking blood was not the same as the Leecher biting me. He needed it to survive. Kaz, Adora, Felix, San... they all drank blood, too. Never in front of me. But they did.
"Did you not drink any blood?" I asked Claude. "At all? Any of the times you were attacked?"
Claude's hands form fists where they rested on his jean-clad thighs. "No."
"Why?"
"It's disgusting."
The scathing tone of his words sent chills down my spine. I chewed on my bottom lip, wondering if I should drop the conversation. I remembered him turning down my suggestion of going to the cafeteria for blood after being attacked by the intruder and how after the Leecher attack Kaz had told Claude he needed to drink blood to which Claude refused. There had to be some reason as to why Claude didn't want to drink blood. To go against something that was so obviously in his nature.
"I'm sure you remember I witnessed my father being murdered in front of me," Claude spoke, startling me from my thoughts.
"Yes," I responded quietly.
"That isn't the only killing I've witnessed. I have seen more blood spilled than anyone should have to. Vampire blood. Human blood. Coating the blades of the assailants, pouring from motionless bodies, staining the earth." Claude's voice dropped. "The sight of it... It makes me sick."
I didn't say anything, my chest constricting.
"I would rather die than drink blood," Claude continued, glaring down at his balled-up hands.
I whipped my head towards him, eyes widening. "What?"
"But dying is not an option. If I die, this world will never change," he continued, turning his head to meet my gaze, jaw set. "I am the prince. I have a right. A privilege. A responsibility to make sure that this twisted history between vampires and humans doesn't keep repeating."
"Claude..."
"But I'm also just still just barely of age. I am still a son who wants his mother around to care for and guide him. My plans all involve her being there with me. I clung to the hope that she was only being held prisoner, not—" He closed his eyes, swallowing.
I reached for his hand, uncurling his fingers so I could hold it. "Claude, she's not dead. Don't give up hope. I told you. My mom is... She is suffering from the memories of what my father has done. It doesn't excuse her from being with him and standing by idly while it all happened, but when I think of all the lies I know realize my father told me, of all the things he didn't tell me, I know that he has been doing the same thing to her. Manipulating her. Even now, when she can't even sleep because of the nightmares, he still must do it. That's why we can't believe her."
Claude looked back up at me for a moment, gaze more unguarded than I've ever seen it, his face lacking the hard lines of his usual guarded expression. "I apologize for threatening your mother. I wasn't thinking in that moment and I shouldn't have done that. I'm truly sorry, Cleo."
My eyes widened and my grip on his hand tightened as a flush rose on my cheeks. This wasn't what I expected. His own cheeks darkened, too, prompting me to turn my head away, even more flustered. "I understand, Claude. I would have reacted the same way, I think. Even still, thank you for apologizing."
"There was no reason for me to intimidate a defenseless woman."
"I agree with that, but I can't imagine how much it must have hurt to hear that your mom is dead. Even though I don't think it's true," I added quickly. "In that moment, you must have felt so much pain and anger and resentment."
Claude made a noncommittal sound.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hate that my family keeps hurting you," I said, squeezing his hand. "I will find your mother so you can at least have that happiness back, okay? I will do everything in my power to bring her back. I promise."
Claude spoke again after a moment. "I also apologize for putting a knife to your throat."
"Oh, that's okay. I understand why you—" My voice died as the hand I wasn't holding came up to my neck.
His thumb brushed the spot where the dagger had just barely pierced it. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"It's okay," I said again, face hot.
Claude's hand trailed from my neck to my cheek, cupping it so he could turn my head to face him again, gold eyes piercing into mine. "Look at you. You're as pink as your hair."
I stayed stock still, my heart hammering in my ears. Of course, I was! How could I not be with him touching me like that? What was he doing? I scrambled to think of a witty response, but my brain failed me.
He brought his face closer to mine, lowering his voice, a small smirk ghosting his lips. "Is my presence bothering you?"
I started to shake my head, going still as all it did was press my cheek against his hand more.
"Liar."
The teasing amusement left his face, replaced by lidded-eyes and parted lips. He pulled his other hand free of my hold, bringing it to my collar bone. His Adam's apple bobbed.
I stopped breathing. I couldn't breathe. Not under that gaze. My skin prickled as the hand on my collarbone slid up to my throat, tightening, fingers pressing into the soft skin, holding me still.
Claude closed the distance between us, pausing an inch away, his breath brushing against my lips as he exhaled.
A shiver ran down my spine. I couldn't take it anymore. I closed my eyes, hands trembling.
"Cleo," Claude murmured. "I—"
"Cleo, is Claude—"
My eyes shot open as Kaz burst into the room. I shoved Claude away and his hands dropped down to his lap, a sigh leaving his lips as he turned toward Kaz. Jumping from the bed, I swallowed hard, knowing that no matter how you looked at the situation, it was obvious Claude was trying to kiss me.
Kaz's face fell, stopping short. "Oh."
"Kaz, it isn't what you think," I started.
"It is," he said shortly, the color drained from his face. "It's okay. You don't need to explain."
A realization hit me then, seeing the hurt expression on his face. But he wasn't looking at me.
"I'm sorry for interrupting," he muttered, clenching his jaw, peeling his gaze off of Claude. He quickly turned on his heel and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
I made to go after him, but Claude grabbed my wrist. I gave him a wild look. "Why are you stopping me?"
"It was bound to happen. Just let him deal with it alone."
"What? What do you mean?"
"I told him he would get hurt. He didn't listen."
I shook Claude off, glaring at him. "I don't know what you're talking about, but if Kaz is hurt, I'm not leaving him alone to deal with it."
Claude's eyes narrowed, but he didn't stop me again as I left the room. I knocked on Kaz's door, peeking in to see if that was where he'd gone. It was empty, so I headed toward the stairs, catching a glimpse of his back already at the ground floor. I nearly tripped down the stairs in my haste, shoving the doors leading outside open.
Kaz was clear across the grounds already. I ran to catch up, throwing myself in front of him, panting. "Kaz! Didn't you say you don't work out? How do you move so fast? Are you even out of breath?"
Kaz smiled a little as I grimaced, holding a stitch in my side. "I just have longer legs than you, Cleo."
He was smiling. That was a good sign. "Yeah, well." I paused to take a deep breath. "Give me a second."
"C'mere," he said, guiding me to one of the metal benches that lined the courtyard.
"I need to get back to training," I said, sitting beside him. "Why am I so out of breath?"
Kaz let out a breathy laugh. "Does Claude make you that breathless?"
I sucked in a breath, nearly choking on it. "No!"
"I said it was okay, Cleo. You don't need to explain yourself to me."
"It's not okay. You ran away."
Kaz bit his lip. "I was just surprised."
"Is that all?" I asked, angling my body to face him, frowning.
He ran a hand over his face and then dropped his head back. "You realized it, then. I already know nothing came come of it, so don't worry."
"Why do you think that?"
"You have feelings for Claude," he said, shrugging. "I can't help that."
"Me?" I repeated. "What do I have to do with it?"
Kaz gave me an incredulous look. "You clearly don't have feelings for me."
My mouth fell open. "Wait. What? Do you have feelings for me?"
"Yes?"
I covered my mouth with a hand, my heart stopping for what felt like the tenth time. "What?"
Kaz kicked at the ground, pursing his lips. "Come on. Like three people have told you."
"No," I scrambled to pull my thoughts together. Kaz liked me? How was that possible? "I thought. Claude."
"I know, Cleo. You like him."
"No, Kaz. I thought you liked him, not me."
Kaz went still and then he blushed, face falling into his hands, groaning. "Damn it. I really was too obvious."
I was right? I chewed on the inside of my cheek. "You like both of us?"
"Yes," he admitted quietly. "Does that make you upset?"
I put my hands on his shoulders. "You can have him, Kaz."
Kaz blinked at me. "Huh?"
"You've known him longer. You must have liked him all this time, right? I'm not going to get between you two."
"What?"
I tightened my grip on him. "I'm serious, Kaz. Take him."
He took my hands off him, eyebrows high on his forehead. "I appreciate the gesture, but Claude isn't an object for us to own."
"Oh." I deflated. "That's true."
"You're cute."
"Do you want me instead?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.
Kaz made a choking noise. "What? Cleo. Don't say things like that."
"Why not?"
"Don't tell me you say things like that to Felix."
I thought about it. Felix sometimes had strange reactions to things I said, too. "I'm not sure. But don't get off-topic."
Kaz laid out his arm on the bench back, looking up at the sky. "Cleo, if you like Claude, don't worry about me."
"No, Kaz. It's not like. Besides, Felix and I are..."
"Are what?"
"I don't know," I admitted.
"Do you actually like Felix?"
"What?"
"Think about it carefully, Cleo. Do you really have feelings for him? Or are you being swept away by the idea of someone liking you?"
I stared at my hands. "I don't think so."
Kaz lifted my chin with his finger, making me face him. "I want to kiss you."
My heart skipped a beat, my mouth going dry. "Huh? What? Why—"
"See?" he said, taking moving his fingers up so he could squish my cheeks together, making me fish-lipped. "You're all flustered."
I batted his hands away, trying to calm my pulse. "Wouldn't anyone be flustered if someone suddenly said that to them? Don't play around with me like that."
"I did mean it, though."
"Mean what?"
"That I want to kiss you."
I couldn't handle this anymore. What was going on today? "You want to kiss Claude too, don't you? So, does it really mean that much?" I mumbled, trying to play it off.
Kaz stretched out his arms. "Do you want to kiss Claude?"
Did I? I thought about how his proximity to me, the look on his face. It made me feel different. I got butterflies, but it wasn't the same as when Felix kissed me. Kissing Felix was comfortable. But the idea of kissing Claude made my skin hot. "I don't know, Kaz."
"Really?"
"I'm being honest. I don't know. I haven't really had time to process things. But I've never looked at Claude like that. I never would have even considered anything happening between us."
"You haven't? Ever?"
"He's threatened to kill me. Multiple times."
Kaz studied me for a moment. "But didn't Felix do that, too?"
"Not to my face."
"And that makes it better?"
"No, it's just. Claude," I said, hoping it would be enough.
Kaz took a deep breath. "Yes. Indeed. It's just Claude."
"Why are you so ready to give him up, anyway? You could have slapped me and pushed me away," I said, pulling my knees up to my chest.
He scrunched up his face. "I would never hit you, Cleo."
"I'm just exaggerating."
"Claude already knows."
I whipped my head back at him. "What?"
"Mhm."
"Then what's the problem?"
Kaz quirked an eyebrow. "You think of things very simply, don't you?"
"If two people like each other then that's the only thing that's important. You should be with each other."
"If he liked me back, don't you think we'd be together?"
My shoulders dropped. "He doesn't like you?"
"He told me, and I quote, don't waste your time on someone like me."
I gaped. "What? That's so rude."
"No, it wasn't like that. I think believes he isn't worth being loved. He told me to find someone better." Kaz sighed. "But it's not that easy."
I rested my chin on my knees. He'd told Kaz that, and yet tried to kiss me? What was Kaz thinking now? And I was sure it was made worse by the fact that the two people he liked were the two people he walked in almost kissing. That wasn't fair.
"I think you two are fated to be together," Kaz said.
"Fated?" I repeated, grimacing.
"Yes. The vampire prince and the daughter of the Levant family. The world would be turned upside down."
"Where do you fit into that?"
"I don't think you're interested in dating me, Cleo."
"Why do you think that?"
"If two people like each other then that's the only thing that's important. You should be with each other," he recited. "If you liked me, wouldn't we be together?"
"Would you prefer me over Claude?"
"I don't need a preference. Because I like you, too. Silly girl," he said, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear.
I looked at his friendly smile, at his lips. Could I see myself with Kaz? I thought I could. But I could also see myself with Felix. With Adora. What did that mean? What did that make me?
"But I won't take you from Claude. If you two are happy together, then I will be satisfied."
"There's too much going on, Kaz. I don't know. But you can't give up on him, Kaz."
"I don't want to be your competition."
"Kaz, I don't even know what I want. There is no competition. Actually, isn't Claude your competition, too?"
"And apparently Felix and Adora," Kaz said dryly. "I guess I should be lucky San isn't interested in romance at all. Although I can't blame anyone for falling for you."
"I haven't done anything," I muttered. "I'm a nobody. I don't get it."
"You're beautiful and kind, Cleo. Don't say that."
I peered up at him. "You're kind, too."
His smile slid off his face and his expression went blank. He suddenly stood up. "Ah. I have to go. I forgot I had to meet with Evander. You should head back. You're suspended."
He pulled me to my feet and I stumbled, surprised. What was that change of attitude about? "Are you okay?" I asked him.
"Yeah," he responded, avoiding my gaze. "You should probably have a talk with Claude."
I pouted. "No. I can't face him now."
Kaz cracked a grin again. "You'll be fine. You're very good at getting your feelings across. But if you two end up kissing, give me a head's up."
"What? We definitely won't be!" I spluttered.
"Okay, okay. Go back. I'll come see you later."
I hesitated before throwing my arms around him, hugging him. "You're important to me, Kaz."
He breathed into my neck, squeezing me tightly. "You're important to me, too, Cleo. Thank you."
We parted ways and I slowly made my way back to my dorm room, my mind wandering. I didn't know what to say when I faced Claude again. I almost felt bad for chasing after Kaz. What did Claude think about that? He'd tried to kiss me and I ran off. I shuffled my feet in front of my door, debating about going over to Claude's room.
I forced my feet over to his door and knocked. He swung open the door a moment later, looking bored. "What?"
"Can I come in?"
I didn't miss the flash of surprise on his face. He moved aside and I walked in. It registered that this was the first time I'd entered his room with permission. I hunched my shoulders a bit, remembering the past two times I'd gone in. Yikes.
We stood in silence for a moment, my back to him, but I knew he was standing close to me. I could feel his presence. I didn't know what to say. I inhaled deeply before turning to him.
"Claude, about earlier—"
"You can forget about what happened earlier."
I held up my hand. "Wait. What?"
He folded his arms over his chest. "I acted without thinking."
"Were you really going to kiss me?"
"I know you're not that innocent. You've been hanging around Felix."
I scowled at him. "What is that supposed to mean? Are you mad because I've kissed him?"
He paused. "You've kissed him?"
"Isn't that what you were insinuating?"
"No." Claude looked completely thrown off, an expression I'd never seen on him before. "I just meant that you couldn't possibly think I wasn't about to kiss you." A pause. "You kissed Felix?"
Was he stuck on that? I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide. "Yes," I admitted.
Claude pressed his lips together. "I see."
"Um. So."
"Forget it happened," he said again. "I didn't realize you were with someone else."
"Oh, no. I'm not with Felix. I don't think I am at least," I said, now unsure. Was I with Felix? What did that even mean?
Claude carved a hand through his hair. "You don't think?"
I didn't like his tone. "No! I don't know!" I cried. "I didn't even know how to kiss. I've never held hands with another person until I came here. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I want. I'm confused. Felix kisses me. You tried to kiss me. Kaz said he liked me. Adora gets jealous of you. I am just trying to process what's happening!"
"Well, aren't you quite desirable?"
"You know what," I said, pacing the room. "You're right. Let's forget about it. I have enough to sort out. I don't want to deal with you, too."
"That's fine with me," Claude snapped.
"Fine!"
"Good."
"Good!"
"Then you should leave."
"Then I will!" I said defiantly, thrusting my chest out. I stomped over to the door, pausing with my hand on the handle. I turned back to Claude.
His eye twitched. "What?"
"I don't want to intrude on you and Kaz or your own feelings, but I think you should know something."
Claude's irritation bled away into tenseness. His posture went rigid.
"You can be loved, Claude. You are worth it. Don't ever think you aren't. Don't let that feeling hold you back. You should be happy," I said, dropping my gaze to the wooden floor. "You deserve to be happy."
He didn't respond.
I couldn't bring myself to look at him. "So. There. Goodbye." I walked out the door and slammed it behind me, rushing over to my room, my heart in my throat.
This is good, I told myself as I kicked off my shoes, climbing straight into my bed. Forget it happened. Forget it and move on.
I pulled a pillow over my face, groaning.
But the thing was I wouldn't be able to.
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I'm back! And my laptop is too, yay! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Cleo has some things to think about, huh...
Enjoy this illustration of Claude and Cleo!
This art is by _julao_ on Instagram!