TW for violence, mentions of death, and bullying!! Also, this chapter is quite long. But I have a surprise at the end. Enjoy!
You don't say anything as you enter your classroom, just go straight to your seat. But you can tell that people have noticed your presence as they watch you for a few seconds before they return to their conversations. This day already sucks. You rest your head on your desk, waiting for the first class to begin.
"Umm, excuse me, (N-Name)-san?" You hear a girl's voice from your left so you raise your head to find out who she is.
Ah. She.
"Yes?" You're trying to sound as calm as possible, not to give away the fact that you don't like her at all.
"I just... wanted to ask if my notebooks helped you with your studying while you were at home," she's avoiding your gaze, rubbing her arm nervously. It makes you sick to your stomach.
"Yes, thank you so much, Ito-san," she smiles at you brightly and you hope that this is the end of the conversation, but suddenly she bows down. You flinch, caught off guard by her dramatic gesture.
"I...I wanted to apologize! You probably think that I'm doing all of these because I have ulterior motives, but that's not true! I respect your marriage and I don't want to be labeled as a homewrecker!" Now everyone is staring at you two. You shake your hands, trying to get out of the embarrassing situation.
"No, no, it's okay, I wasn't thinking about any of these things!"
Short black hair with bangs, brown eyes, round glasses and an oval face, a good-looking body and porcelain skin. Ito has the overall appearance of a cute girl so she has guys constantly asking her out, but from what you've heard, she rejected most of them. When you think about how much she talks about Ushijima, it's not that hard to figure out why.
Her act seems like something she did for herself, to put herself in a better light in front of you and the others.
"R-Really?" But when she looks up at you, you can't tell by the look in her eyes if she's faking it or not.
"What's going on here?" You didn't even notice another of your classmate placing her bag on her desk.
"O-Oh, Sato-chan!" Ito's face lights up when she sees the tall, built, handballer woman. "I was apologizing to (Name)-san for giving her the wrong impression about my intentions"
"Ah, cool—Oh, shit, wait, (Name), you're back!"
Sato and you aren't close, but you're not strangers either. She's a pleasant person to be around; her only flaw would be how loud she tends to get.
You laugh awkwardly, until she gets closer, as to inspect you.
"Are you okay?! Shouldn't you still be recovering at home?!"
"I'm okay, hahaha, the stab wound wasn't so deep after all. I'm just left with an ugly scar on my abdomen"
"That's all?" Sato asks, confused. "Well, I'm sure that Ushijima-san will love you regardless of that scar," her comment makes your heart flutter, remembering what happened in the bathroom. Your face turns red as you smile shyly.
"What happened to that woman? Ow—" You see Ito elbowing her. "Oh, yeah, congrats on your marriage by the way!"
"Thank you! Uhh... she's currently in prison. I don't really know that many details"
"That's good. She deserves to rot in there. I can't really understand why she went this far. I lost countless games in my life, but I never thought about stabbing someone. She's really messed up in the head"
"It's not only that," you interrupt her, "she said that there was no way I was married to Wakatoshi as she was punching me in the face. But, hey, if one crazy and jealous bitch couldn't take me down, I don't think someone else can," you glance at Ito for a split second. You are aware that a lot of people are listening to your conversation, only to gossip later on.
They can't say much afterwards as the teacher comes in and everyone returns to their seats.
During the class, you look down at your left hand, noticing that your ring is not on your finger anymore. You panic for a second, but then remember that you left it in your room as you no longer have a necklace to put in on. While you were at home, you constantly had it around your finger, but now you don't have the time to go shopping for a new necklace or fix the old one.
Which reminds you... what happened to your old necklace? Ushijima only gave you back your ring, but never mentioned what happened to the other piece of jewelry. Maybe it got lost when Niiyama's ace ran away. It wasn't that valuable anyway, made from stainless-steel so it won't oxidize around your neck.
After the class, you go looking for Washijou at the teachers' lounge, but you don't find him there so you'll probably have to talk to him at practice. On your way back to the classroom, you decide to go to the bathroom. As you're about to exit the stall to go wash your hands, you hear two familiar voices. And yes, eavesdropping might be bad, but these two are definitely talking about you.
"Gaah! I made a big fool of myself back then, didn't I? What was I thinking?! There's no way that she would believe me after she heard me talking about her husband all the time! I'm so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" You hear Ito saying.
Well, this is unexpected...
"Ito, my love, I know that you are sad that things didn't turn out the way you wanted, but let's try to understand her a bit. (Name) literally got stabbed for being married to Ushijima, of course she's going to be cautious around everyone that's a huge fan of his... and you were quite obsessed with him, not going to lie..."
This is definitely unexpected...
"But!—"
"No buts. Your feelings matter too, but right now, she needs some space. She has a lot on her plate, with the nationals right around the corner. Poor girl, the school is going to drag her even more now that she confirmed that they're married. I wonder what type of ridiculous rumors they would invent now"
Sato's words bring tears to your eyes.
"Come here, you baby," you hear a smooching sound, "it's going to be alright. I'm sure that eventually she would realize that your intentions are not bad. But you had an unhealthy obsession with him. Mind telling me why?"
"Oh, he was hot, but I'm not into married guys. I was attracted to him because of his looks. And then I made out with you, so I completely forgot about him"
"Don't say that so loud!" You hear them running away, giggling, and you finally breathe normally. You stay there for a while, silently crying at their words.
•••
During lunch break, you remain inside the classroom, not having the appetite, nor the energy to eat something. Nobody said anything to you when you came back in the classroom with puffy, red eyes; just like you hoped.
You're half asleep on the table, already exhausted, trying to ignore the background noises coming from your classmates. Then everything goes quiet so you assume that they finally went outside, until you feel someone tapping you on the shoulder.
"Mmmm, I'm not hungry, Nari, go away," you flutter your hand around, dismissing her. You assume it's her, because she's pretty much the only one coming to bother you during breaks.
"Wrong person," a deep voice says and you immediately jump in your seat.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" You ask your husband, shocked instead of happy.
"Let's eat lunch together," he says emotionlessly.
"I told you, I'm not hungry," but you know for a fact that there's no way he's going to back down that easily so you end up staring at each other for a few seconds, until you get up. "Fine"
It takes you a while to find a spot where you can be alone, since people were giving you looks everywhere you were going in the school building. Some girls even had the audacity to ask him if he wanted to sit with them instead.
"Sorry, but I'm eating lunch with my wife," and you couldn't hide the huge grin you had on your face when he said that.
The weather outside is not the best, as December will soon roll in, but that means that not many students are outside. You find a secluded bench near the gym and decide to sit there. Ushijima is eating whatever he bought from the school's cafeteria, while you're looking at the dry trees, the breeze removing another dark leaf.
"How's school so far?" He asks after swallowing.
"I forgot how tiring it can be. I almost fell asleep during the first class. But something interesting did happen," his gaze fixates you, indicating that he's listening. "You remember the girl that gave you her notebooks for me?" He nods. "Well..."
You tell him everything that happened and he listens, looking at you with dreamy eyes while you gesticulate with your hands, mimic voices and expressions.
"So, what are you going to do?" He asks when you finish talking.
"I don't know. She seems like a nice girl—and I appreciate that she wants to be my friend—but I have other things I'm worrying about currently. For example, why would Washijou want to speak with me privately. Jeez, what if he says that the team is better off without me..."
"That's not true and you know it," he wraps his arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer, and places a kiss on your forehead. You stay like that for the rest of the break, enjoying the warmth of each other during the chilly autumn day.
•••
After a few days of peace, something has to happened. You open your shoes locker and find a note inside saying that they have evidence that you had been spotted with another man and if you want the pictures not to reach Ushijima, you have to break up. You immediately throw the paper in the trash and go on with your day, without mentioning it to anyone.
You're the last one to arrive in the gym and you find the girls' basketball team there, arguing with your teammates.
"What the hell is going on in here?" You ask after you put on your shoes and step inside; all heads turn to you.
"They are insisting that it's their turn to use the gym," Nari informs you, sounding very pissed.
"Because it is our turn," their captain intervenes. You have to look up at her because of how tall she is, but even that doesn't intimidate you. She never gave you this type of problem before and you're pretty sure that you know the reason as to why she does it now.
"It's not. We are the ones going to nationals this year so we have the gym reserved for our practice. If you have a problem with that, you can talk to your coach or our advisor, but they are going to tell you the exact same thing"
"Look at you, you're going to the nationals for the first time in decades and now you act like you own the place," she clearly doesn't like you. "Let's not forget that it was the other Ushijima that carried the reputation of our school, not you"
"Just leave already," Nari speaks, holding you by your hand so you won't punch her.
"Why are you defending her? Even though she's married to one of the most popular guys in our school, she's still seeing other guys behind his back. She might steal your man someday," Nari's grip gets tighter as she feels you trying to pull away.
"What are you talking about?"
"She received a letter this morning saying that she was cheating on her husband"
Then it clicks.
"How do you know about the letter?" You ask her and the color from her face instantly disappears.
"I've... uhhh... I've seen them put the letter in there," is her excuse.
"But how do you know what was written in it?"
"I heard people talking about it!"
"Who?" You keep pressing her with questions. "I didn't tell anyone about the letter. So..."
The awkward silence reveals the truth.
"You are the one that put it there," her confidence from the beginning is gone. She ran her mouth without thinking and ended up giving herself away. "Wow, you're pathetic. I'm going to get someone to take you out, this is ridiculous"
You go for the door, but she grabs you by your hair, pulling it so you won't leave.
"Why are you acting so high and mighty with me?" She screams at you.
"Let go of me in this instance," you warn her.
"Or what? Are you going to complain to your husband? I bet it sucks to have a perfect life like yours"
You turn around and slap her across the face. Disoriented, she lets go of your hair so you grab her and push her into the wall. She closes her eyes at the impact, but opens them just in time to see you swinging your (non-dominant) fist in the air. You punch the wall, landing next to her face.
She's breathing heavily as she's looking at you, rage overtaking you.
"You think it's easy living a life when you're constantly reminded that you're the product of a stupid fucking broken promise?! I was forced to marry someone I didn't love just so my family wouldn't be 'cursed' anymore!" You go off at her, letting go of all that negative pent-up energy.
"None of my achievements are ever recognized. I don't exist by myself, I'm just a shadow of my husband and everyone is waiting for me to mess up so they can criticize me more! So, if you want my 'perfect' life so bad, come and have it. I'm tired"
She just swallows dryly as you remove your fist. The adrenaline pumping through your body is making you feel zero pain, but your hand might actually be broken.
You notice someone in the corner of your eyes and turn to meet Ushijima's wide-open eyes and stunned face. You've never seen him so shocked before and he has never seen you so angered.
He was just passing by when he heard loud voices coming from the gym.
You simply start approaching him and then run past by him, not giving him a chance to stop you. You bolt away as fast as your legs can take you, not having the courage to look at him after everything that just went down.
Ushijima calls out to you and wants to go after you, but hears more screaming coming from the inside.
"Nari, what's wrong?!" Minako is holding her, while the libero is on the floor with a dead look in her eyes. She moves her head to eye the basketball team.
"Get out," she whispers at first. "Get the fuck out, all of you!" They immediately leave the gym. Ushijima crouches down next to the blonde.
"Are you feeling okay?" She looks at him and then at the floor. Her lower lip is twitching. The last time she was in this state was when you had got stabbed.
"I-I didn't know that it was this bad. She told me that she didn't want to get married because she didn't like you, but I never thought that her family situation was so bad... I have to go after her—"
Ushijima stops her by pushing her back down.
"You stay here and calm down. I'll go look for her. Do you have any idea where she could be?"
"Probably in our room," he nods and gets up. Someone brings her a bottle of water and they take her to sit down properly. Ushijima looks one more time at the blood on the wall and then leaves the gym.
He knew that you wouldn't be treated with kindness on your return, but this is beyond what he had expected. He can't do anything to stop them and the guilt is eating him up on the inside. Your words are being repeated in his mind on loop, like a broken record, because he failed to see that you were not as happy as you seemed to be.
And he even told Nari that he would take good care of you and never make you sad again...
It happened a few days after the stabbing incident. Ushijima was minding his own business during a break, when he heard someone loudly asking if he's inside. Nari came stomping inside his classroom, grabbed him by the jacket and walked like that, holding onto him, until they were alone. The stares didn't bother them, since the libero was quick to shoot glares at everyone that was making eye contact with her.
She let go of him eventually, crossed her arms over her chest and fixated him with her piercing gaze.
"Finally, you and I can have a talk, now that (Name)'s not here to protect you. I'm going to ask you a few questions and if you give me the idea that you are not good for her, I will do anything in my power to keep you away from her"
"Sounds fair to me. Go ahead and ask"
"What are your intentions with (Name)?" Not beating around the bush.
"I want to have a happy marriage with her"
"Hmm, good answer. But how do you intend to do that exactly? I'm pretty sure that she at least told you that she's not going pro"
Ushijima didn't answer right away, mostly because he had never thought so far in the future. Being a pro athlete means traveling the world for different competitions, training most of the day... basically, being away from home quite often. At this realization, anxiety engulfed him.
"I don't know the answer to that question yet. (Name)'s current condition has been the only thing on my mind recently. But. I will make it work, no matter what it takes"
Nari seemed to drop the tough act, as she uncrossed her arms and placed one on her hip.
"You really are determined to prove your point," he answered affirmatively. "For now, focus on taking good care of her while you visit her. Oh, and try to stop making her sad. Let's not forget that it was one of your crazy fans that stabbed her"
Ushijima reaches your dorm and enters unnoticed since nobody is around to see him. He climbs up the stairs, stops in front of your door, and takes a deep breath before knocking. You don't answer the first time, so he knocks again.
"(Name), it's me"
"Go away," he hears from the inside, but Ushijima won't give up this easily.
"I'm not leaving, I need to talk to you," he stays silent for a moment and leans in, resting his forehead on the cold wood. "Can I come in, please? You are worrying me," he says in a heartbroken tone and slowly opens the door.
He finds you hugging your knees to your chest, your arms wrapped around them. The first thing he notices is your bloody and bruised hand.
"Do you have a first-aid kit?" He asks and you point to the desks. He takes it from there and sits on the bed next to you.
"Are you... Are you mad at me?" Your voice cracks as you're about to cry. He detangles you and meets your red puffy eyes. He cups your face and gently strokes it, trying to calm you down.
"I'm not mad at you. I'm just confused. Do you actually hate me—"
"No!" You burst into tears and he hugs you, like he's trying to shield you from the outside world. "I don't hate you! It's just... my past keeps following me... I want to crawl under a rock and remain there until I die so I wouldn't have to worry about volleyball, nationals, your crazy fans... I just want to be happy for once, okay..."
"I know, love, I know," Ushijima strokes your back gently. "I'm here to help you, so please, talk to me. Tell me what's bothering you," he pulls away to look at your face again and wipes your wet face with his fingers. He then reaches for the first-aid kit, opens it and starts bandaging you.
You inhale and exhale, regulating your breathing. He's being gentle, as always, trying not to put you in more pain.
"I don't know if your mother or father ever told you about this, but he and my mother were supposed to marry each other. I heard this story from both my mother and grandma, so I don't know which one is true, but in summary, there was an ancient promise about the first-born children marrying each other to maintain the good relationship between our families. But my mother didn't accept that so she called off the marriage and everyone went on with their lives"
After he's done, he places a kiss on your fingers. He needs to take you to see a doctor after this though.
"My mom married my dad, your dad married Ushijima-san, and things were going amazing in my life. That's until grandma moved in with us, after grandpa's death, and everything started going downhill," you tell him about everything that happened, all the abuse suffered from the old woman.
"I didn't do anything to her, but she hated me with a burning passion. For her, I was cattle whose only purpose was to marry and make babies. I couldn't bring myself to go back to track after what happened, especially after she told me that I was responsible for their death. I wanted to end myself just so I could be free. But then I thought of you, of Nari... I still had you two, so maybe my life wasn't that bad after all"
You smile at him and then put your head on his shoulder, not bearing to look him in the eyes because of the stuff you are about to confess.
"What she said... what I actually said as well... about never being acknowledged for my own achievements and always living in your shadow... That hurt a lot, saying and hearing it. All my life, I grew up admiring you to the point that I lost track of myself. I really don't know why Washijou wants me to keep playing for the team, I'm not that great at volleyball as you are"
Ushijima sighs loudly.
"(Name), the only one that's not seeing how good you are, it's you. You are the one going to the nationals this year after winning fair and square in the finals. You carried the blocking, knew how to coordinate your team, all of these without having a coach to help you out. You deserve more credit than you're giving yourself. That's why I want you to stop comparing yourself to me. We might have the same name, but you're you and I'm me. We're different, but also equal to each other"
You hug him by the middle, inhaling his scent and letting his warmth comfort you. "Thanks"
Not even a minute passes by because you realize: "Oh, shit, practice!"
You try to get off the bed, but he grabs you by the arm.
"You're not going back there until you get your hand looked at by a doctor. It's bruised and has started to swell," his stern gaze gives you shivers. You open your mouth to disagree with him, but he speaks over you. "No, I don't want to hear any of it"
That's how you find yourself in the nurse's office minutes later, learning that an X-ray is needed to see if your hand is broken or not.
•••••••••••••••
Y/N was supposed to be bullied by the track team's captain as well, but I didn't like it that much so I deleted the entire part. 700+ words went down the drain instantly, because I realized that I hated it after I had finished writing it.
Overall, I quite like this chapter, I think that I gave more depth to their relationship, but at the same time, I think that I'm making her co-depended on Ushijima... I wanna cry.
Okay, now for the surprise I mentioned in the beginning... You all know that Ushijima is the loml, so I can't let this story have only one smut chapter, duhh. So, the next chapter is a spicy one again🔥
This chapter was not included in the first splitting of the story, but I couldn't help myself. And btw, we have 5 chapters left of the story, plus the epilogue! Stay tuned!