Chapter Thirty-One
Dahil malapit naman na ang recognition namin at tapos na kami sa lahat ng exams, nitong mga araw na ito ay sinisigurado nalang namin na kompleto kami sa lahat ng requirements at sa pagpapapirma ng clearance para tuluyan nang maka-proceed sa next year.
Medyo late natapos ang last subject namin this afternoon dahil may ginawa pa kaming oral recitation bago kami pipirmahan sa clearance. Natatawa nga ako nang makita ko ang itsura ni Arin na nakabusangot na dahil sa inip. Papaano ba naman, nagkaroon yata ng bangayan ang dalawa ni Alice at pati na rin ang mga alipores nito at nagtalo pa sila. In the end, pinagalitan sina Arin at Alice at muntikan pang hindi nakasagot sa oral recit.
“Una na'ko Aye, ah! nagdidilim na paningin ko dito! bakit ba kasi nagkaroon pa akong kaklase na bruhilda!” Pagpaparinig nito kay Alice.
“Wow, did I complained nang magkaroon akong kaklase na mukhang aso?!” Ganti pa ni Alice. Napa-iling na lamang kami ni Quinn. Tumaas agad ang dugo ni Arin.
Susugurin sana siya ni Arin pero buti na lang at napagitnaan sila ni Ryden. “Stop! Ano ba! Umuwi na nga kayo pareho,” suway nito.
Sinunod naman nilang dalawa iyon. Lumabas na si Arin na nagdadabog at sumunod naman sa kaniya si Alice at Quinn. So, kami nalang ni Ryden ang natira dito. Matapos kong magligpit ng mga gamit ko ay inaya ko na siya para umuwi ngunit biglang sumulpot si Ashton sa labas ng pintuan na may malamig na awra—hindi ko mabasa.
“Kakauwi lang ng 'baby girl' mo,” sabi sa kaniya ni Ryden.
Ngunit binalewala lamang siya nito at sa halip ay naglakad papalapit sa akin.
“Aye, pwede ba tayong mag-usap? may ipapakita lang ako sa'yo.” Seryosong turan nito. Napataas naman ang kilay ko dala ng kuryusidad at tumango.
“S-sige ba—”
Hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko dapat nang bigla niyang ilapag sa desk ko ang isang lumang libro na sobrang pamilyar sa akin. Lumang-luma na ito at halos kumupas na ngunit klarong-klaro pa rin ang letrang nakaukit sa book cover nito. Nanginginig bigla ang aking buong sistema kasabay ng pagdaloy ng kung ano-anong konklusyong nasa isipan ko.
Kinuha ko ito at sinuri.
“Wait, saan mo nakuha 'to?”
“Ano yan?”
Napalingon ako kay Ryden nang hablutin niya ang libro na iyon. Nagkasabay pa kami ng tanong.
“Bakit? may alam ka ba pare?” sambit nito kay Ryden na para bang halong paghihinala. Ashton grinned at Ryden.
What's going on? Naguguluhan ako! I don't know kung ano ang pinaparating ni Ashton sa sinabi niya pero nakaramdam agad ako ng panlalambot sa aking tuhod.
“Ano bang nangyayari—ano bang meron?” naguguluhan kong tanong.
“Sa likod ng librong iyan ay nandyan ang isang sulat na tingin ko'y mahalaga para sa iyo. Pasensya kana't biglaan pero sa tingin ko lang ay may kailangan kang malaman. Hindi naman kami bingi sa pangyayari sa pamilya namin, Aye. Usap-usapan ngayon ng mga magulang ko ang gulo sa pamamahay ninyo. Alam kong nahihirapan kang ipagtagpi-tagpi ang lahat ng bagay kaya narito ako para sakaling makatulong sa iyo.” Mahabang pahayag nito.
So I did and indeed, there was.
To the one I love the most...
My beloved Harriette, I know that there's a part of you that regretted for marrying me instead of him. I think you're just torn between to both of us that's why you've been so aloof towards me for the first few days of our marriage. I'm sorry if I couldn't be him for you, Harriette. However, even so, I, Gryphon Brave, or should I say, Chester, still hopes for your happiness for always... and forever.
What the hell, what the freak is this? I've cursed everything in my mind when I saw what was written down there.
How could this be true? Dad is the one who wrote the Unlively Heart? Then why? Bakit hindi man lang niya binanggit sa akin that he wrote one of the best-selling romance book in the country? How come I didn't knew about it?
“Your Dad was a published writer back then pero tumigil din ilang taon matapos silang ikasal ni Tita Harriette. Tita Harriete doesn’t support him on his passion at mas lalo itong nainis nang malaman na sinulat ng Daddy mo ang story nila na masyadong complicated. Pero walang nagawa si Tita para doon. After years ay tinanggap niya na rin ang nais na gawin ni Tito Chester pero bumalik ang inis niya nang malaman at nabalitaang nagkaroong muli ng interaksyon ang Nanay ni Ryden at si Tito Chester.” Mahabang wika nito.
Muling kumunot ang aking noo. What?! “Teka nga, paano ka nagkaroon ng alam sa lahat ng 'to, Ashton?”
He sighed. “Of course, alam ng tatay ko ang lahat. He's been the closest one to your Dad since then.”
Mula sa kamay ko ay binawi ni Ryden iyon at agad na binuksan ang likurang parte nito. Then, there was a letter pasted there. I bet this is the original version of the book because it looks so old. I don't even know that the Unlively Heart has been published years ago.
Napatitig din doon si Ryden ngunit hindi katulad ng reaksyon ko ang nakita ko sa mga mata niya.
Hindi siya nagulat sa nakita.
Punong-puno ng pagtataka ang nasa isipan ko at hindi ko alam kung anong nararapat na gawin.
I looked at Ryden in the eyes and he does too. Bumalik iyon sa dati niyang titig. A cold as ice stare. Unti-unting nanghina ang buong sistema ko kasi naguguluhan ako. Hindi ko na rin kung paano makapag-focus at paano ulit ipagtagpi-tagpi ang mga bagay na nasa aking isipan. Godness, I think I'm going crazy.
Hindi ko na kinaya kaya umalis ako roon at iniwan silang dalawa. Hawak-hawak ko ang libro habang tumatakbo ako palabas. Nang mapagod ako ay ibinalik ko ang aking tingin sa likuran ko pero wala man lang ni anino ni Ryden doon. I'm expecting him to explain me everything.
Sa tingin ko ay may alam siya. Should I ask him instead? Pero hindi ko naman alam kung sasabihin niya ba talaga.
Pagod at hingal na hingal ako nang makarating sa bahay. Wala ako sa sarili habang sinasarado ang gate namin.
Mismong pag-apak ko sa aming tanggapan ay hindi maiwasang tumulo ng aking luha. Everything around me right now keeps on bothering me and I don't know well how to fix it. It was like inside my shell, something hit my shell so hard which is why, now it is attacking me and I wasn't ready for it.
Pinunasan ko ang aking luha at pagkapasok ko sa bahay, saktong naroon ang mga magulang ko at nakaupo at magkatapat sa bawat isa. I don't know if destiny truly plans this one to happen but I hope this is what it is. I want to get out of this kind of place anymore. Gusto kong bumalik sa dati. Sa dati na hindi pa ganito kahirap ang mga bagay sa akin.
“Mom...”
“Aye, what happened? Are you okay?”
Ngunit sa halip na sagutin ko ang kaniyang katanungan ay nilapag ko sa center table ang lumang librong hawak-hawak ko. Pareho silang natulala sa ginawa ko at para bang nalaglag ang kanilang mga panga. Why does they have to be shock with it? In the first place, they should have assumed this to happen.
“Saan mo'to nahanap anak?” kunot-noong tanong ni Mommy.
“Hindi na mahalaga kung saan ko yan nahanap, Mom. I just want to know everything you are meant to tell me.”
I shifted my gaze to Dad and knew that I hit something in him that made him shut his mouth and wasn't able to speak–or can't think on how to.
Mom sighed. “I think, you have your hunched already.”
“But I need clarifications, Mom.”
“A'right, I'm sorry.” Pinagmasdan ko siya ng mariin siyang pumikit. “I changed the story so that you wouldn't think of me that bad, Aye.”
She went to me and held my hand. “I swear, it wasn't my intention. The last time I told you about it, those weren't true. Natatakot lang ako na baka katulad ng iba ay kamumuhian mo rin ang mga bagay na aking nagawa dati. I was never a good woman, Aye. I've been chained of the past and I was the only cause of all of these mess.”
“I was the one who left, Aye. Ryden's father, Yzrael, didn't even do anything wrong to me. He was too good for me Aye, and thinking about it now, I couldn't help but to feel bad. Ilang taon na ang nakalipas at narito pa rin ako, at hinahatak ko ang ama mo sa kaguluhan na ako ang may dahilan. Sa kalagitnaan ng pagsasama naming dalawa simula high school hanggang college, biglaan na lang akong nakaramdam ng pagkawalang gana. It was my fault that I fell out of love and until now, I couldn't think of anything that could justify my actions, Aye. I fell inlove with your Dad and followed my heart. That's how we ended up together.”
Do I have the right to despise my own mother? Even so, I think I couldn't. “Why would you think about me that way, Mom?”
Napaawang ang kaniyang bibig at napailing—hindi makasagot. Unti-unting tumulo ang kaniyang luha at humikbi na lamang ito sa aking harapan. Her story pisses me off but I can't help but to feel down at this moment when I saw her crying and breaking down.
“I don't know... maybe I was just sucked at making the right decisions, Aye. And now that I think about it, I am ready to face the consequences of my decisions that I've been disregarding for years. Naisip kong para sa iyo rin naman ito, at para sa peace of mind ng lahat ng taong nadamay ko sa aking kaguluhan.”
“If that's so, how can I make sure you would? At tsaka, paano ko naman masisiguradong nagsasabi ka na ng totoo ngayon, Mom?”
“I think you know what to do. That book right there, it tells everything I have told you right now. But that's kinda different. It's your Dad's point of view of the story. That's my living evidence, Aye. Even though it's made of fiction, your Dad never made up stories when he wrote down our story.”
“A-Are you Solari?”
Imbes na si Mommy ang sumagot, biglang sumabat sa aming usapan si Dad. “She was Teirrah, wasn't the first love but the one the male lead ended up to.”
What the?! Solari and Hester didn't end up together? Why?! I was even hoping for the both of them, though.
“But why? Why couldn't he end up with Solari instead?”
Dad shrugged. “I made it that way. Just like what happened to us before, Solari and Hester fell inlove with each other but eventually, they realized things and fell apart instead. Actually, Solari wasn't the main character there. She wasn't the one who has the unlively heart.”
“It was you, Mom.” Ibinalik ko ang aking tingin kay Mommy at nakayuko itong nakatango.
“There was no bluff in that book. Lahat ng nabasa mo roon, Aye ay totoong nangyari sa totong bubay. If you want to know the other details, I want you to read the whole book. That way, you'll understand it more.”
At ganoon nga ang aking ginawa. Sa gabing iyon ay halos hindi na ako natulog at inabala lamang ang aking sarili sa pagbabasa. Now that I think about it, Solari can't be the main character. Since as what Dad told me, that it was Mom who has the unlively heart, the one who's heart was chained (if you'll gonna look at the book cover) by her past decisions.
At dahil nasimulan ko naman na itong basahin, pinagpatuloy ko na lamang. That's when I knew that my parents are telling the truth because everything that I've read on the letters, iyong mga nakita ko sa box sa closet ni Mommy, lahat ng nakasulat roon ay narito. However, Mom was indeed true. This narration is kinda different because this tells about Dad's point of view all along. So now, I'm glad that I could be able to see what's on his mind.
I still can't believe that it was Dad who wrote this awesome book.
Halos maghating-gabi na at saka ko pa lamang narating ang pinakahuling parte ng libro. In the end, Dad was marrying Mom but it was kinda sad. Since at the wedding, Dad said that Mom never looks so happy and being aloof all along.
“Even though both of us made tough decisions, I know that despite all of that, I'm gonna stay with this woman infront of me. Though, I want to feel angry but I don't want my negative emotions to hinder my love for her. This is our special day and I'm making a huge promise and responsibility to love her for all I can, a love that she deserves, a love that everytime I look at her, it's all that I could wish. We're both flawed but I'm willing to held my hand. Even though she wouldn't do the same.
I'm not dumb to not to realize it. Harriette regrets being with me now since just yesterday, she knew that her ex-boyfriend is having a child with Solari. Even though it's sad, I'm happy for her. She changed a lot for the better now. I'm thankful that she came into my life but now, since I'm beginning to love someone not her, I'm going to accept our fate. We don't need to stay with each other when we both can't see ourselves in each of our future.
“You may now kiss the bride.” The preacher declared.
That's the moment I gladly held her hand gently with my hands and slowly closing the gap between us.
“I'm sorry...” she whispered.
I responded with a gentle drop of kiss. “I love you.”
And I kissed her again. However, she wasn't responding to any of my kisses. She stood still and suddenly, a tear dropped from her eyes. I admit, that broke my heart.
“I want to love you, Chester.”
“After all of these, you can. When the time comes, we could love each other properly.”
THE END.